Iceman Quotes in Top Gun (1986)

Charlie: So, lieutenant, where exactly were you?

Maverick: Well, we...

Goose: Thank you.

Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.

Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?

Maverick: Because I was inverted.

Iceman: [coughs whilst saying] Bullshit.

Goose: No, he was man. It was a really great move. He was inverted.

Charlie: You were in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28?

Maverick: Yes, ma'am.

Charlie: At what range?

Maverick: Um, about two meters.

Goose: It was actually about one and a half I think. It was one and a half. I've got a great Polaroid of it, and he's right there, must be one and a half.

Maverick: Was a nice picture.

Goose: Thanks.

Charlie: Eh, lieutenant, what were you doing there?

Goose: Communicating.

Maverick: Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. You know, giving him the bird!

Goose: [Charlie looks puzzled, so Goose clarifies] You know, the finger

Charlie: Yes, I know the finger, Goose.

Goose: I-I'm sorry, I hate it when it does that, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.

Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.

Iceman: Maverick, it's not your flying, it's your attitude. The enemy's dangerous, but right now you're worse. Dangerous and foolish. You may not like who's flying with you, but whose side are you on?

Goose: It's the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied. It's time for the big one.

Iceman: You up for this one, Maverick?

Maverick: Just a walk in the park, Kazansky.

Iceman: [as Maverick's F-14 suffers a flameout caused by Iceman's jet wash] Mayday, mayday, Mav's in trouble. He's in a flat spin, he's heading out to sea.

Iceman: You two really are cowboys.

Maverick: What's your problem, Kazansky?

Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Maverick: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

Iceman: The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.

Iceman: Mitchell, I'm sorry about Goose. Everybody liked him. I'm sorry.

IceMan: No one leaves the house anymore. No one has sex. The Net is ultimate condom.

Iceman: Shootin' The Hole is just like makin' love.

Stanley: But I've never made love.

Iceman, Jerry Cramer: [concerned looks] Good luck.

Iceman: All we need is a kick-ass dancer...

Stanley: [shaking head] Oh no...

Iceman: Oh yes, you kick ass!

Stanley: [backing away] I don't kick anything!

Iceman: [imitating Rodney Dangerfield] What do you know? They followed me from my apartment in New York. I get no respect!

[Jerry and Stanley laughing]

Eddie Martinez: [attempts to imitate Rodney Dangerfield] Say, anybody got a cat?

[the music stops and both Jerry and Stanley give Eddie weird looks]

Iceman: Yeah, you need to work on that.