I, Claudius Quotes in Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006)

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I, Claudius Quotes:

  • Nigel: Got it. Could have just come down and told me that, couldn't he? Alright, listen up. Barnyard newsflash. I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

    ChristopheBoleroEenieMcBunny: The bad news.

    Nigel: Lord Dargis just threw Prince in the river.

    [animals panic]

    Winston: Okay, give me the good news.

    Nigel: He was in a lovely picnic basket.

    Eenie: If he throws us in the river, we'll never survive!

    Christophe: You're ducks, you could swim.

    Eenie: Oh.

    Preston: [enters the barnyard with a scroll] Winston, I'm next in line for the throne.

    Bolero: Uh-oh. This could get ugly.

    Preston: [rolls out the scroll] I have here a new list of rules for governance.

    Winston: Preston, I hardly think that's necessary.

    Preston: Rule number one. The barnyard animals congregate entirely too close to the castle. We house pets need our space.

    McBunny: Oh, you've got enough space, laddie, right between your ears!

    [animals laugh]

    Preston: You take that back! I command you! As your new king...

    Winston: Look. There's still a chance Prince may find his way back here. In the meantime, Claudius, you go into the castle and find out what Dargis is up to.

    I, Claudius: I'm on it. I'm your mouse on the inside.

    Winston: I'll see what I can learn from my end.

  • Winston: Oyez, oyez. Prince XII has returned.

    [ducks trumpet]

    Garfield: Thank you windbag, for that flobbering introduction. Hello, everybody!

    [animals look in astonishment]

    Garfield: Hey, listen up...

    [flicks Winston's nose]

    Garfield: is this an audience or a landscape? Okay, great to be back here at the palace. I look out, I see a sea of... of dumb barnyard animals. I'm here in your country to break up a romance between the guy who owns the house I live in and a girl who's way out of his league. I know that whatever it is that you have, there's some sort of affliction that produces this glazed look behind your eyes. I hope you defeat it. Wish I could take everybody home with me. Thank you.

    [walks away]

    Garfield: I killed.

    Winston: Very funny, sire. Well done.

    Nigel: I didn't realize it was amateur hour.

    Eenie: What's up with Prince?

    Christophe: Oh, he's on the catnip again.

    I, Claudius: Hold on, chaps! Have I got news for you!

    McBunny: What's the word, Claudius?

    I, Claudius: Dargis is going to bulldoze the barnyard and feed us to the tourists!

    Nigel: Let him try. He'll have to deal with these fists of fury first, wouldn't he?

    [animals complain]

    Winston: Calm yourselves, everyone. We're alright as long as Prince is alive.

    McBunny: Well, obviously, that feline is not Prince, you idiots!

    Preston: He's not even a cat formerly known as Prince.

    [animals argue]

    Winston: Wait, he doesn't have to be Prince. He just has to look like him. If he fooled me, he'll fool them.

    McBunny: But what's to stop Dargis from getting rid of this cat too?

    Winston: McBunny's right. We must protect this cat at all costs. Our fates rely on it.

  • Garfield: And there's the time I got hit by that car,

    [scratches a line on the wall]

    Garfield: and the time I ate that six-day-old halibut.

    [scratches another line on the wall]

    Garfield: That's only seven lives. I got two more. I'm gonna get out of this.

    [a rock falls, creating a hole in the wall]

    Garfield: Bingo.

    I, Claudius: [pokes his head through the hole] Winston and I have come to your rescue.

    Garfield: Took you long enough. What, did you finally hear my stomach growl?

    I, Claudius: [enters the dungeon] No, but we heard your tiresome monologue. Bad halibut indeed.

    [a rock moves, revealing an escape path from the dungeon]

    Winston: Let's get you out of here, your royal highness.

    Garfield: Winster.

    Winston: The solicitors are here. We have to move quickly.

    Garfield: Huh.

    Winston: Then we lunge in, your royal highness.

    Garfield: Yeah, you can drop that shtik, drool boy. I heard you and the bird. How about the "house cat" part? I love that.

    Winston: Oh, all right, all right, so we weren't exactly honest. We had to do it. What would you have done?

    Garfield: Save your breath, chubby cheeks. I shall abdicate my throne and return to my TV chair.

    Winston: You're our only hope.

    Garfield: The only hope of the hopeless.

Browse more character quotes from Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006)

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Characters on Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006)