Huckleberry Haines Quotes in Roberta (1935)

John Kent: You don't appreciate her. I know she seems a little hard and sophisticated, but underneath she's a pearl.

Huckleberry Haines: And a pearl so I'm told, is the result of a chronic irritation on an oyster.

Huckleberry Haines: John, everyday you act worse, but today you're acting like tomorrow.

Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: You may call me Tanka.

Huckleberry Haines: Tanka.

Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: You're welcome.

Huckleberry Haines: What's the racket Liz? Did you marry the title or just lift it?

Lizzie Gatz: Be a pal, will ya, Huck? Its just a stage name. You've got to have a title to croon over here.

Huckleberry Haines: How long ya gonna stay?

Sophie Teale: Oh hello, Huckleberry.

Huckleberry Haines: Hello, Soph.

Sophie Teale: Mother and I are going to Switzerland on Saturday.

Huckleberry Haines: Goodbye, John, I'll see ya Sunday.

Voyda: Indians? Indians? Are you the Wabash Indians Band?

Huckleberry Haines: Are you Voyda?

Voyda: I am Alexander Petrovitch Moscovitch Voyda.

Huckleberry Haines: Let's pick it up from there. We're the boys you hired to play at your cafe: The Wabash Indianians.

Voyda: Indianians? Is this the same as Indians?

Huckleberry Haines: Um, well, yes, in a sense, you see we don't, we don't wear our feathers in warm weather. Do we boys? Well, when do we start, Mr. Voyda?

Voyda: You don't start! I cable for Indians and I want Indians! No pay American faces when they make me a fool of myself.

Huckleberry Haines: What was her name? Gee, I could find her like that if I could only remember her name.

John Kent: Anybody else you know, you can't remember?

Huckleberry Haines: Yeah, but, I can't think who they are.

John Kent: They tell me in Paris, if you don't buy your gown from Roberta, you're not dressed at all.

Huckleberry Haines: I see. Nude if you don't and nude if you do.

Huckleberry Haines: All right, boys, let's swing it!

Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: These Americans are, what you call, eh, fresh guys!

Roberta: No, no, no! Refreshing!

Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: Oh, mais oui, refreshing, pardon, Monsieur.

Huckleberry Haines: No, poof. It is nothing - toots!

Huckleberry Haines: Do you remember the valentine I sent you? The one with the arrow piercing the heart and dripping blood?

Lizzie Gatz: [laughing] Oh, yeah, I remember that. I think that's the only valentine I ever received.

Huckleberry Haines: Its the only one I ever sent.

Lizzie Gatz: Oh, those were the happy days, weren't they. You know, I think I was in love with you then, Huck.

Huckleberry Haines: I know you were.

Lizzie Gatz: You!

Huckleberry Haines: Me! And what's more I was madly in love with you.

Lizzie Gatz: Remember that beauty contest I won?

Huckleberry Haines: Oh, you got a trip to Kansas City.

Lizzie Gatz: Well, you won it for me. How did you get all those men from the overalls factory to vote for me?

Huckleberry Haines: That was easy, I showed them a picture of Lillian Russell.

Lizzie Gatz: Lillian Russell? Well, what was the matter with my picture?

Huckleberry Haines: Well, if you must know, we got a lot of votes from the farmers with a picture of a prized heifer.

Lizzie Gatz: Oh, you!

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Do you plan, eh, fitting the ladies yourself, John?

Huckleberry Haines: What a picture: tape measure around the neck and pin cushion on the hip?

John Kent: I ought to spank the two of you.

John Kent: Why don't you let a guy alone when he's trying to figure things out!

Huckleberry Haines: She just wants to know what you're going to do.

Lizzie Gatz: That's all.

John Kent: I'm going home.

Lizzie Gatz: But, you can't! You're Mr. Roberta.

Huckleberry Haines: Oh, John, look, we've had a brainstorm. Instead of you going home, why don't you and Stephanie become partners.

Huckleberry Haines: Oh, that one's a honey. That's the one I'd take.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Do your references refer to de gown or de girl?

Huckleberry Haines: Oh-oh, I hadn't noticed the girl. But, now that you mention her, I'd take...

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Yes?

Huckleberry Haines: The gown - less upkeep.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: [Referring to a Roberta-designed gown] Mmmm, dat is de one I would take. And tall, handsome gentlemen with large bank accounts will be asking for my telephone number - and getting it!

Huckleberry Haines: Hah! And won't they be surprised when I answer?

Huckleberry Haines: Well, so long. Tell the Countess I'll be waiting for her.

John Kent: Where?

Huckleberry Haines: Oh, either on the right-side of the left bank or the left-side of the right bank.

Huckleberry Haines: Mr. Kent's idea is to introduce the football motif into dress designing. The outdoor flavor will make the evening clothes look healthier. Oh, wait till you see our end-around-end evening creation. You know, the one with the dash off-center.

Huckleberry Haines: Mr. Kent's main idea is to design women's dresses the way men think they should be.

Miss Jones - Newspaper Reporter: And how do you men think they should be?

John Kent: Not so naked.

Huckleberry Haines: Well, he means that if clothes are to clothe they should clothe. It's more stimulating to the imagination if - clothes clothe.

Huckleberry Haines: Pockets in all dresses - especially in the evening ones. So, the women can pack their own junk. The bulging pockets of the male will disappear forever. Women will not have to depend upon their male escorts, they'll be much more independent. As a matter of fact, eh, as a matter of fact, pockets will make the female more - female.

Huckleberry Haines: How was I, toots?

Huckleberry Haines: Is Miss Teale's personality in there?

Stephanie: Yes, right in there.

Huckleberry Haines: I'll go and torment her for awhile.

Huckleberry Haines: This is a bit of international diplomacy that I shall boast about to my grandchildren, the nasty little loons.

Sophie Teale: Don't you think this dress does something for me?

Huckleberry Haines: It'll do something for me.

Sophie Teale: Oh, now, Huck. A dress like this depends on...

Huckleberry Haines: I know, it depends on that shoulder strap.

Sophie Teale: I bet you a hundred dollars he says, "Gee, that looks swell".

Huckleberry Haines: Make it francs and its a bet.

Sophie Teale: Sold!

Huckleberry Haines: Is there anything I can do for you? No.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: [singing] Think of what you're losing, while constantly refusing, to dance with me. You'd be the idol of France, with me. And yet you stand there and shake your foolish head romantically, while I wait here so ecstatically. You just look and say emphatically...

Huckleberry Haines: [singing] Not this season, there's a reason. I won't dance, don't ask me. I won't dance, don't ask me. I won't dance, madame with you. My heart won't let my feet do things they should do...

Huckleberry Haines: People in love are always quarreling with each other. Now, you take Liz and myself, for instance.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Liz? Who is this Liz?

Huckleberry Haines: Oh, a little country girl from back home that I'm thinking of marrying. You know, big feet, dumb, simple, oh, very simple.

Stephanie: Well the simple and the dumb ones make the best wives sometimes.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: The fashion show next week will be a colossal flop!

Huckleberry Haines: Maybe we should call off the fashion show.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Oh, I think so.

Stephanie: We might better put on a good one!

Huckleberry Haines: Now, you're talking, Stephanie! We'll put on a better than good one and we'll give them some entertainment, too.

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: How about your band?

Huckleberry Haines: That's a great idea! We'll bring over my band...

Stephanie: A musical fashion show!

Huckleberry Haines: Yeah, that's it!

Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Marvelous!

Huckleberry Haines: [Talk/Singing the introduction to the Musical Fashion Show] Tis the hour for dry martinis... The Ritz bar is serving caviar and weenies. Madame, is there. And from Roberta's she has something that's too divine on, the sort of thing your jealous friends would love to spill their wine on. For your inspection, our cocktail collection...