Horse Quotes in Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

[Broomhilde prepares to jump on horse from the balcony]

Horse: [makes loud noise and shakes head]

subtitle: She's got to be kidding!

Darwin: Where's the bathroom?

Horse: You're standing on it!

Darwin: [sighs] I could use a hot bath and a good meal.

Horse: [Scottish Accent] You're in luck. They'll be bringing the hay down any minute.

Darwin: I'm to eat hay?

Horse: Aye, and sweet, crunchy oats from time to time too.

Darwin: Oh, that changes everything.

Horse: [Thunder expels loud farting]

Darwin: [Disgusted sigh] I'm beginning to see why they call you Thunder.

[sprays perfume, scoffs]

Darwin: Never mind.

Danny: Look at you standing there with the long, long face.

Horse: [to another horse] Hey, he must be talking to you.

Narrator: Yes, the horse, the servant of mankind, the aristocrat of the animal kingdom. Noble, faithful, obedient, and kind, most magnificent of all dumb animals

Horse: Dumb?

Horseman: [saluting] View halloo!

Horse: [also saluting] Oh, yes, definitely. A view halloo.

Fox: View halloo?

[the horseman blows his bugle and the others pursue the fox]

Fox: Faith and begora, 'tis them Redcoats again!

Woody: Nice grab, Horse. How's it hangin'?

Horse: To the floor, my friend. Now what's say we shift this baby into warp drive, huh? Wancha to feel the wind blowin' through the hair in your fine, muscular ass.

Horse: Yo, hop in, man. We got places to go, people to see, women to impregnate. Let's go.

Horse: Do you know what the coach would do to your nuts if you don't show up tonight? No, I'll tell you: He will grind them into dust - nut dust.

Dave: Well, I just pray they're a bit more understanding about us, that's all.

Horse: You what?

Dave: Well, they're going to be looking at us like that, aren't they, Eh? I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."? What happens then, eh?

Horse: They wouldn't say that, would they?

Dave: Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.

Lomper: That's different. We're... blokes.

Dave: Yeah, and?

Gerald: I think she's got nice tits, actually.

Lomper: I never said owt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.

Dave: No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither. Which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality - this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.

Horse: No, but... what I mean to say is... my willy...

Lomper: *Your* willy? *My* willy!

Dole Clerk: Have you been actively looking for work in the last fortnight?

Horse: Yes

Dole Clerk: Have you done any work, paid or unpaid in the last fortnight?

Horse: No

Dole Clerk: That's not what I've heard

Horse: No-one said anything to me about the full monty!

Gaz: So, uh, Horse... What can you do?

Horse: I dunno, really... Let's see, there's the, uh... The bump, the stomp, the bus stop... Me breakdancing days are probably over, but there's always the funky chicken.

Horse: I think I'm going to be sick

Maa: Darn silly carry-on, if you ask me.

Horse: The cat says, they call it Christmas

Ferdinand: Christmas! Christmas dinner, yeah. Dinner means death. Death means carnage! CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE!

[flies away frantically]

Ferdinand: CHRISTMASMEANSCARNAGE!