Hoover Quotes in Animal House (1978)

Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.

Boon: Every one?

[looks at Bluto and D-Day]

Boon: Those assholes must have stolen the wrong fucking exam!

Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up?

Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure!

Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!

Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.

Boon: I thought you were pre-med.

Otter: What's the difference?

[Addressing the room]

Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did.

[winks at Dean Wormer]

Otter: But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]

Hoover: Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman.

Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically.

Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case.

Otter, Boon: Like Fred.

Dean Vernon Wormer: Have you boys seen your grade point averages yet?

[the Deltas are silent]

Dean Vernon Wormer: Well, have you?

Hoover: I have, sir. I know it's a little below par...

Dean Vernon Wormer: It's more than a little below par, Mr. Hoover. IT STINKS! It's the lowest on campus. It's the lowest in Faber history!

Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Hoover: Hey are you guys coming down?

[Boon and Otter look at Hoover]

Hoover: There happen to be 50 people downstairs waiting to try and get into this fraternity. Otter, you are the rush chairman. I think you should be present at the rush party.

Greg Marmalard: [at the trial of Delta House V. Omega House] Robert Hoover will speak on behalf of Delta House.

Hoover: [the Deltas cheer as he stands up] I don't think you can fully judge a fraternity without looking at the positive qualities of the people in it. The Delta House has a long standing tradition of existence to its' members and to the community at large.

Dean Vernon Wormer: [to Marmalard] I think we've heard enough.

Hoover: I was told I would have a chance to speak?

Greg Marmalard: We've heard enough.

Hoover: But I was told I would have a chance to speak!

Doug Neidermeyer: HE SAID THAT'S IT! ARE YOU DEAF?

Dean Vernon Wormer: [to Marmalard] Let's finish this damn thing.

Bluto: [in the background] BULLSHIT!

[the other Deltas start chanting "bullshit"]

Hoover: I don't think it's fair!

Dean Vernon Wormer: [angry] I'll tell you what's fair!

Bluto: [in the background] EAT ME!

[the other Deltas start chanting "Eat me"]

Hoover: Hey will someone tell those assholes to shut up?

Boon: Hey shut up you assholes!

[shows Katy laughing hysterically]

Otter: [stands up] Point of parliamentary procedure!

Hoover: Don't screw this up, they're serious this time.

Otter: Take it easy man, I'm in pre law.

Boon: I thought you were pre med?

Otter: What's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.

Dean Vernon Wormer: What's he doing?

Otter: The issue here is not that we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests. We did.

[winks]

Otter: But you can't hold an entire fraternity responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is to blame, then is this not an indictment of our education system in general? I put it to you, Greg! Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but I will not stand by and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!

[they cheer, walk out humming the US National Anthem]

Dean Vernon Wormer: You're not walking out of this one mister! You're finished! No more Delta! You've bought it this time, buster! I will call your national office! I will revoke your charter! And if you wise guys try one more thing, I am kicking you out of this college! No more fun of any kind!

Hoover: Why do you eat while you're working? Why do you eat all the time?

Coolidge: It's all psychological, Max. I eat so I don't think about food.

Hoover: Here's something that doesn't cost you 25 bucks an hour: You carry your own water, Ellery. You understand? You carry your OWN water.

Hoover: How come you got a hot dog in your mouth while you're threading the projector? Why do you eat while you're working? Why do you eat all the time?

Coolidge: It's all psychological, Max. I eat so I don't think about food.

Hoover: Oh... So you eat so you don't think about food.

Coolidge: Yeah.

Hoover: I don't want to butt into your business, but this psychiatrist, the guy you're going to, I think he's in worse shape than you are.

Hoover: Jack Flynn?

Jack Flynn, Mafia Mobster: [hands him money] Here ya go buddy, buy yourself a good time.

[turning away]

Jack Flynn, Mafia Mobster: They'll let anybody in here.

Hoover: [throwing bills down] Mr. Flynn, I'm Maxwell Hoover. I'm with the Los Angeles Police Department.

Jack Flynn, Mafia Mobster: Oh, that means I get change back.

Coolidge: [riding in the car] You know, I've been thinking, why is it we always sit in the same place? And why is it you're always the one that drives, Max?

Hoover: I guess it's 'cause I got the keys.

General Timms: These tiny particles of matter, which are so small that no one's ever seen them - never - they contain enough energy to blow up this house, an entire city, every person on Earth. Now that is inconceivable.

Hoover: General, I really don't think much about those things. I'd probably see too much.

General Timms: What do you see?

Hoover: People dead before their time.

General Timms: That's the history of the world, Lieutenant. Some people die before their time so that others can live. It's the cornerstone of civilization. War, religion, democracy. A hundred die so that a thousand may live.

Hoover: We go where the case takes us.

Fitzgerald: Not if it takes you here you don't.

Coolidge: Max, I'm shot.

Hoover: Oh my God. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Coolidge: My psychiatrist is not gonna like this, Max.