Hondo Quotes in S.W.A.T. (2003)

Street: So why'd you pick me?

Hondo: To piss off the captain.

Hondo: You still want to work S.W.A.T?

Chris: No. I just enjoy applying all the time.

[about Hondo's S.W.A.T. selection]

Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my shit list

Hondo: Hey! I'm on your shit list too and I'm the team captain.

Hondo: How can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hotdog?

Street: [smiling] He's a vegetarian.

[From the first trailer]

Hondo: Let's try to get in the killing mode.

Chris: I am in killing mode.

Hondo: So why you smiling?

Chris: Because it tickles me.

[last lines]

Hondo: Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.

Street: So?

Hondo: Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.

Hondo: You know what they say, you're either SWAT or you're not.

Hondo: The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.

Deke: So what if he's Polish?

Hondo: No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.

McCabe: [lying in the disabled learjet] How's Boxer?

Hondo: What do you care?

McCabe: C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.

Hondo: He's going to make it.

McCabe: Good.

Hondo: Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?

McCabe: Goddamnit, Sarge.

[McCabe shoots himself dead]

Hondo: Street, you have a driver's license?

Street: Got a library card.

Hondo: Good enough. So get your uniform on. You're driving me around today.

Hondo: 10-David, this is 70-David.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: 70-David, where the hell are you?

Hondo: We are somewhere around Sixth and Trenton. We lost communication in the tunnels. Where's our backup?

Capt. Thomas Fuller: [**POSSIBLE SPOILER**] Everything I have is going to Hawthorne Airport. That's where your friends Gamble and T.J. McCabe are headed.

Hondo: That's the other side of town! Send a couple units to pick us up.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: PICK YOU UP? For all I know you're in on this! I got a good mind to bring you in!

Hondo: [to Street, Sanchez, and Deke] Like hell. Come on, let's go.

Hondo: Street. Don't beat him so badly I can't get a rematch, all right?

Street: I won't make any promises.

Hondo: It's my money, man.

Hondo: [Deke shoots a card] 10 of Spades. Spade flush.

Street: Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?

Hondo: Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!

Deke: Beats four Aces in Compton any day!

McCabe: What? No roll, Hondo?

Hondo: How do you know I didn't?

McCabe: You didn't, did you?

Hondo: They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.

[to Captain Fuller]

Hondo: Shame you're not playing a terrorist.

Hondo: You look like you need a Band-Aid.

Street: Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.

Hondo: Sorry. Wrong room.

Chris: Who are you looking for?

Hondo: Chris Sanchez.

Chris: I'm Chris Sanchez.

Hondo: YOU'RE Chris Sanchez?

Chris: Look, if you're Internal Affairs, that guy had razorblades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard. I'm sick and tired of these bullshit complains because some vato doesn't like getting thrown to the pavement by a woman.

Hondo: [Raises eyebrow] I look like IAD to you?

[Sanchez shrugs]

Capt. Thomas Fuller: Nice job.

Hondo: Don't sound so happy.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: Still got a problem. He's still here.

[Gestures towards Alex Montel]

Chris: Road trip?

Street: [Beaten up from the fight with Gamble] Road trip.

Hondo: Yeah... road trip. Guess you'll have to fire us later.

[Street spits blood out of his mouth, team walks away toward arriving SWAT truck with Fuller smiling at the team for once in the whole movie]

Hondo: Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.

Hondo: Oh look, they got their own airport security.

Hondo: I need your A-game boys... and girl.

[after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]

Hondo: Flip a bitch!

Deke: Flippin' a bitch!

Hondo: Drop Fruit of the Loomski in the A-car.

Hondo: [Deleted Scene: Hondo Reviews Files at Home outside, hears a noise on the ground, then looks down at a deer from his balcony] Hey! Get the hell off my damn property.

Hondo: [Deer looks at him] There's coyotes up here.

Hondo: As a rule, they're punks, but if I was you, I'd watch my back.

Velasquez: [Deleted Scene: Hondo's Introduction- Lt. Velasquez says to Officers of SWAT Division] Gentlemen! Our new 70-David has just made his first stealth entry. If you don't know him, you've probably heard of him: Sergeant Dan "Hondo" Harrelson!

[Officers cheer and applaud, with Boxer and McCabe's voices louder than the others]

Velasquez: Here is a man who will outrun, outfight, outshoot

[Hondo raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Velasquez]

Velasquez: , outsmart, out-paperwork, ALL OF YOU.

McCabe: I got 20 bucks says otherwise.

Boxer: I'll cover 10 of it for you.

Velasquez: Now you know gambling's not allowed, and I shouldn't have to tell you that... but I'll cover that 10.

Boxer: Done.

Velasquez: Few words, Sergeant?

Hondo: As a matter of fact...

[Pretends to smack TJ with his book]

Hondo: Let's go make the Captain look like a hero.

Hondo: Deke, the frog's runnin'!

Capt. Thomas Fuller: The Chief is *making* me take you back. He's concerned about losing all his best officers to other cities.

Hondo: He thinks that I'm one of his best officers?

Capt. Thomas Fuller: But, he's given me complete oversight, and trust me, you've got no room for error.

[Looking at the files]

Capt. Thomas Fuller: So, I will give you Boxer, T.J. McCabe and this new guy, uh, Deacon Kay. I'm gonna pass up the other 2. Sanchez is a woman and Street? Well, Street's on my shit list.

Hondo: Hey, *I'm* on your shit list too, and I'm the team leader.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: You work for *me* now, and it's *my* team to choose.

Hondo: With all due respect, Captain, other leaders get to pick their teams.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: And you can too, just pick two new people.

Hondo: Look. Just give me the team I asked for. You can even call it your *shit list* team. That way, if anything goes wrong, you can put all the blame on me. It'll be just like old times.

Capt. Thomas Fuller: Okay. Okay, you got your team.

[Puts the files together]

Capt. Thomas Fuller: But, when you fail, and you probably will fail, Sanchez goes back to Traffic, and you and your boy Street are plain gone.

[Hondo shrugs in disgust]

Capt. Thomas Fuller: No, not just off S.W.A.T., off the force. You *feel* me?

Hondo: Oh yeah, I *feel* you.

Hondo: How the hell can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hot dog?

Hondo: [last lines, sitting in the front passenger seat of a SWAT truck, after hearing a diamond robbery taking place over the radio, turns head back to see Street] technically our watch has been over for twelve hours

Street: [turns his head back to see Hondo, then turns his head back to face forward, smiles, while putting on his radio headset] so?

Hondo: [sits up straight] yeah, what the hell?

Hondo: [grabs underneath his seat to get the rifle ready] Mount up !

Hondo: You know what? I think he might be Polish.

Deke: Unbelievable.

Hondo: Remember that cop who took down the big man? We took care of his stupid bitch wife.

Sean Vetter: So you took care of his stupid bitch wife?

Hondo: Yeah. Any bitch who marries a cop has got to be stupid. The keys are in the car. Take care.

Sean Vetter: You killed my wife, you motherfucker?

[Sean beats him to death]

Taryn: [naked in the Jacuzzi after Hondo, who is also naked hands her a glass of Champaigne] Thanks.

[takes a sip]

Hondo: Spend the weekend with me.

Taryn: You know I can't. I'm on assignment.

Hondo: Is it dangerous?

Taryn: Yes. But I can handle it.

Hondo: Can you handle me?

Taryn: I'll give it my best shot.

[Taryn leans forward and gives Hondo a kiss]

Hondo: [after almost killing Barbara thinking she is a zombie] Jesus, Goddamn, holyloving, shit! What in the name of Jupiter's balls are you doing out here alone little lady?