Hobo Quotes in Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Hobo: [to a group of newborn babies] A long time ago I was one of you. You're all brand new and perfect. No mistakes, no regrets. People look at you and think of how wonderful your future will be. They want you to be something special... like a... a doctor or a lawyer. I hate to tell you this, but if you grow up here, you're more likely to wind up selling your bodies on the streets, or shooting dope from dirty needles in a bus stop. And if you're successful, you'll make money selling junk to crackheads. And you won't think twice about killing someone's wife, because you won't even know what was wrong in the first place. Or, maybe... you'll end up like me - a hobo with a shotgun! I hope you can do better. You are the future.

Hobo: You and me are goin' on a car-ride to Hell.

Drake: You're gonna miss me.

Hobo: You're riding shotgun!

Hobo: I'm gonna sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight!

Abby: You can't solve all the world's problems with a shotgun.

Hobo: It's all I know.

Abby: This isn't the only place grass grows.

Hobo: Are you serious?

Hobo: Put the knife away, kid, or I'll use it to cut welfare checks from your rotten skin.

Slick: Well, you better cut one to Mother Theresa so you can give it to her while she's finger-banging you in Hell!

Hobo: I thought this was a police station, not the fuckin' circus.

Hobo: Lock him up with the sodomites and get me the god-damned chief of police, now.

Hobo: Well, Abby, can I tell you something about bears?

Abby: Sure.

Hobo: The bear is a solitary animal. They like their space. They live in a magic circle. They don't mind if you're like a mile away, but if you get inside their circle, they will maul you. If a bear's claw would ever strike your face, it would take your whole face right off your skull - your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything - and you would die from it.

Abby: Wow. Didn't know bears could be so vicious.

Hobo: Get your hands off me, demons! You're crushing my smokes!

Hobo: Hallelujah.

[first lines]

Hobo: Spare some change?

Hobo: There's something else about bears not many people know. If a bear gets hooked on the taste of human blood, it becomes a man-killer. He'll go on a rampage and has to be destroyed. And that's why you should never hug a bear.

Hobo: Look at her. What do you see?

Large Man: I don't know, man. She's just a fuck-tube.

Hobo: You're a fool... and a shitty father.

Hobo: Mother Teresa was a goddamn saint!

Hobo: I think I'm okay now. I just tell my brain when I know I'm hurting... I just say, "I got nothing for you buddy... nothing to make it go away, so just go to hell," and he goes. He's like a brother to me now, and brothers fight sometimes.

Abby: Well, I think it's time to put you and your brother to bed.

Hobo: Bears don't belong in a zoo.

Hobo: Well, I think you're gonna need a lot of dump trucks.

Chief of Police: Dump trucks? I-I don't follow you.

Chief of Police: You get out there, get all the criminals, put 'em in dump trucks, take 'em to a landfill site and bury them.

Hobo: Jerk off to THIS, you child molesting shitlicker!

[he shoots Santa Claus]

Hobo: First I've got to wash this guy's arse off of my face.

Hobo: Guess who, Shack? It's the big bad 'bo, Shack. And he's gonna bite your big bad ass!

Hobo: Don't worry, Shack. We'll keep a place for you in the jungle. Six feet down.

Hobo: What exactly is... is your persuasion on the Big Man, since you brought him up?

The Boy: Well, I... I want to believe... but...

Hobo: But you don't want to be bamboozled. You don't want to be led down the primrose path! You don't want to be conned or duped. Have the wool pulled over your eyes. Hoodwinked! You don't want to be taken for a ride. Railroaded!

[Hobo puts out fire with the joe]

Hobo: Seeing is believing. Am I right?

Hobo: One more thing... do you believe in ghosts?

The Boy: [shakes head no]

Hobo: [in a sinister tone] Interesting...

The Boy: Are you saying that this is all just a... dream?

Hobo: You said it, kid! Not me.

Hobo: That skirt you're chasing must've moved on ahead. We got to high tail it to the hog, pronto!

Hero Boy: The hog?

Hobo: The engine. The engine, you tenderfoot. We've got to make it before we hit Flat-Top Tunnel.

Hero Boy: Why?

Hobo: [sighs] So many questions. There's but one inch of clearance between the roof of this rattler and the top of Flat-Top Tunnel. Savvy?

The Boy: I'm looking for a girl.

Hobo: [after a pause; bursts out laughing] Well aren't we all?

Harry: [Harry has just hauled Natty into the boxcar, where she was dangling dangerously over the edge] You know, uh, you can get hurt that way.

Hobo: I thought *that* one was a goner.

Hobo: *Rail* meat.

Hobo: Little bits of blood and busted...

Harry: Leave the kid alone!

[first lines]

Will Haney: You fool.

[dragging him off the railroad tracks]

Will Haney: You pretty near bought the farm, you drunken old son of a bitch.

Hobo: The hell I did.

[laughing and drinking]

Will Haney: You lay around on them railroad tracks and you'll have no legs, by golly.

Hobo: Well, at least I would have matched set.

[laughing boisterously]