Hobbit Lover Quotes in Clerks II (2006)
Hobbit Lover Quotes:
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Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."
Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you fucking morons.
Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Manakin Skywalker so much, right?
[in robot voice]
Hobbit Lover: Danger danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
Elias: [chucking] Yea-Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
Randal Graves: Oh, I'm crazy? Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.
-- Hobbit Lover -
Randal Graves: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now *that* would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.
Hobbit Lover: Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!
Randal Graves: And then, right after the Sam/Frodo suckfest, right before the credits roll, Sam fucking flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth.
-- Hobbit Lover -
Hobbit Lover: I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.
-- Hobbit Lover -
Randal Graves: [describing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy] Here's the first movie.
[walks a few steps, staring blankly]
Randal Graves: And here's the second movie.
[walks a few steps again, pretends to trip]
Hobbit Lover: He is way off, loser.
Randal Graves: You ready for the third movie?
[walks yet again, stops, pretends to throw the ring into the volcano. Shrugs his shoulders and turns around]
-- Hobbit Lover -
Hobbit Lover: Hey man.
Elias: [Puts on Mooby's hat] Welcome to Mooby's, may I take your order?
Hobbit Lover: Yeah um, let's see... Give me one udderly delicious Moo-ilk shake, Skinny Calf and a, order of onion rings. Thanks.
Elias: [Typing into register. To himself:] "One ring to rule them all."
Hobbit Lover: [Surprised] "One ring to find them."
Randal Graves: [Eavesdropping] Oh Jesus.
Elias: "One ring to bring them all."
Hobbit Lover: "And in the darkness bind them!"
Elias: [Hi-5's the Hobbit Lover] Yes! How many times?
Hobbit Lover: Umm, three for 'Fellowship', two for 'Towers', *four* for 'Return'.
Elias: [Showing off] Five for return.
Hobbit Lover: Dude.
Randal Graves: Okay, look. There's only one 'Return', okay, and it ain't of 'The King', it's of 'The Jedi'.
Hobbit Lover: [to Elias] Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves: Oh I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: [to Hobbit Lover] You'll have to excuse him. He's not 'down' with the trilogy.
Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.
Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right?
[Robotic genstures and monotone, imitating Anakin Skywalker]
Hobbit Lover: Danger, danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
Elias: [Chuckles] Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
Randal Graves: Oh I'm crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano... Here's the first movie...
[Walks in a straight line, doped]
Randal Graves: ... And here's the second movie...
[Walks in a straight line and steps]
Randal Graves: ...
Hobbit Lover: He is way off. Loser.
Randal Graves: ...You ready for the third movie?
[Walks in a straight line again, and, at the end, pretends to take a ring off his finger and throw it away, then shrugs]
Diner #1: Fuckin' A.
-- Hobbit Lover -
Elias: [mumbling] "One Ring to rule them all."
Hobbit Lover: "One Ring to find them."
Randal Graves: Oh, Jesus.
Elias: [pulls a Ring necklace out of his shirt] "One Ring to bring them all."
Hobbit Lover: [pulls a Ring out of his pocket, in a dramatic voice] "And in the darkness, bind them!"
-- Hobbit Lover -
Elias: How many times?
Hobbit Lover: Well, um, three for "Fellowship," two for "Towers," four for "Return."
Elias: Five for "Return"!
Hobbit Lover: Dude!
-- Hobbit Lover
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