Hitchhiker Quotes in Vanishing Point (1971)

Hitchhiker: Patiently. That's the only way to wait for somebody.

Hitchhiker: Yep...goin' to the Super Bowl. Gonna sell me some cocaine.

Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?

Hitchhiker: Hell no.

Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?

Hitchhiker: No.

Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?

Hitchhiker: What?

Raoul Duke: Never mind. Let's get right to the heart of this thing. Twenty-four hours ago we were sitting in the Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Heights Hotel, in the patio section of course, drinking Singapore Slings with mescal on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord, nineteen-hundred and seventy one...

Hitchhiker: Hot damn. I never rode in a convertible before.

Raoul Duke: Is that right? Well... I guess you're about ready, then, aren't you?

Dr. Gonzo: We're your friends. We're not like the others, man, really.

Raoul Duke: No more of that talk or I'll put the fucking leeches on you, understand?

Dr. Gonzo: Heh heh heh...

Raoul Duke: [as the Hitchhiker stares at them nervously] Get in.

Raoul Duke: My attorney understands this concept, despite his racial handicap. But do you?

Hitchhiker: [nodding] Heh heh...

Raoul Duke: [narrating] He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't.

[to hitchhiker]

Raoul Duke: He was lying to me!

Hitchhiker: I'm a Level 4 Vegan: I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?

Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.

Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.

Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.

Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?

Ted: I would go for the 7.

Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.

Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?

Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".

Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

[Hitchhiker convulses]

Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.

Ted: That - good point.

Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

Ted: Why?

Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

Hitchhiker: [explaining why he gives head for rides] Have you seen the price of bus tickets lately. There's no way I'm gonna cough up 200 bucks just to get to Chicago.

Jay: Fuck that, I don't wanna cough up some dude's sperm.

Hitchhiker: Don't be so suburban. It's the new millennium. Gay, straight... it's all the same now. There are no more lines.

Video Interviewer: So, did you vote in the most recent election?

Hitchhiker: Hell, no... I've got less important things to do.

Hitchhiker: Every single commodity you produce is a piece of your own death!

Hitchhiker: I may live badly, but at least I don't have to *work* to do it.

Hitchhiker: Well, that'll be fifty bucks.

Salesman: Fifty bucks! I thought you said twentyfive?

Hitchhiker: Well I'm only fifteen. You wouldn't wanna have it know that you raped a fifteen year old child.

[defeated, he turns to the camera, Oliver Hardy style]

Hitchhiker: My family's always been in meat.

Hitchhiker: You could have dinner with us... my brother makes good head cheese! You like head cheese?

Franklin: Hey man, you ever go in that slaughter room or whatever they call it? The place where they shoot cattle in the head with that big air gun?

Hitchhiker: Oh, that gun's no good.

Franklin: I was in there once with my uncle.

Hitchhiker: The old way... with a sledge! You see, that way's better. They die better that way.

Franklin: Well, how come? I thought the gun was better.

Hitchhiker: Oh, no. With the new way... people were put out of jobs.

Franklin: Did you do that?

Hitchhiker: [digs through pouch for a few pictures] Look!

[hands them to Franklin]

Hitchhiker: I was the killer!

Franklin: [looking at the pictures] Damn...

Hitchhiker: You just shut up and remember you're just the cook! And me and him'll handle this!

Old Man: Shut your mouth!

Kirk: So, where you heading, man?

Hitchhiker: South.

Franklin: You work at that place? The slaughter house?

Hitchhiker: Uh... no.

Sally: How'd you get stuck way out here?

Hitchhiker: I was at the slaughter house.

Franklin: I got an uncle who works in a slaughter house.

Hitchhiker: I used to work there. My brother did too. My grandfather too. My family's always been in meat!

Franklin: [quietly to Sally] A whole family of Draculas!

Hitchhiker: [to Sally] And, and I thought YOU was in a hurry!

Hitchhiker: [to Leatherface, who investigates Sally at the dinner table] You like this face?