Hildy Johnson Quotes in His Girl Friday (1940)

Sheriff Hartwell: Aiding an escaped criminal and a little charge of kidnapping.

Fred, the Mayor: Well, looks like about ten years a piece for you two birds.

Walter Burns: Does it?

[unimpressed]

Hildy Johnson: If you think you've got The Morning Post licked it's time for you to get out of town.

Fred, the Mayor: Whistling in the dark. Well that isn't going to help you this time. You're through.

Walter Burns: Listen the last man that said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking to Walter on the phone] Now, get this, you double-crossing chimpanzee: There ain't going to be any interview and there ain't going to be any story. And that certified check of yours is leaving with me in twenty minutes. I wouldn't cover the burning of Rome for you if they were just lighting it up. If I ever lay my two eyes on you again, I'm gonna walk right up to you and hammer on that monkeyed skull of yours 'til it rings like a Chinese gong!

Bruce Baldwin: [Concerning Walter] I like him; he's got a lot of charm.

Hildy Johnson: Well he comes by it naturally his grandfather was a snake.

Hildy Johnson: I suppose I proposed to you?

Walter Burns: Well, you practically did, making goo-goo eyes at me for two years until I broke down.

[impersonates Hildy, flutters his eyelashes]

Walter Burns: "Oh, Walter." And I still claim I was tight the night I proposed to you. If you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. But not you!

Hildy Johnson: [hurls her purse at him] Why, you - !

Walter Burns: [ducks and her purse barely misses him] You're losing your eye. You used to be able to pitch better than that.

Walter Burns: Look, Hildy, I only acted like any husband that didn't want to see his home broken up.

Hildy Johnson: What home?

Walter Burns: "What home"? Don't you remember the home I promised you?

Hildy Johnson: Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

Louis: What's the matter, Hildy?

Hildy Johnson: Don't give me that innocent stuff! What did you pull on Mr. Baldwin THIS time?

Louis: Who, me?

Hildy Johnson: Yes, you and that albino of yours!

Louis: You talkin' about Evangeline?

Hildy Johnson: None other!

Louis: She ain't no albino.

Hildy Johnson: She'll do 'till one comes along!

Louis: She was born right here in this country!

Hildy Johnson: [Hildy's on the phone telling Walter how Earl Williams escsaped] Of course he had to have a gun to re-enact the crime with. And who do you think supplied it? Peter B. Hartwell. B For brains.

Walter Burns: Sorta wish you hadn't done that, Hildy.

Hildy Johnson: Done what?

Walter Burns: Divorced me. Makes a fella lose all faith in himself. Gives him a... almost gives him a feeling he wasn't wanted.

Hildy Johnson: Oh, now look, junior... that's what divorces are FOR!

Walter Burns: There's been a lamp burning in the window for ya, honey... here.

Hildy Johnson: Oh, I jumped out that window a long time ago.

Walter Burns: What do you think I am, a crook?

Hildy Johnson: Yes.

Walter Burns: Bruce, I, uh... let me get this straight. I must have misunderstood you. You mean you're taking the sleeper today and then getting married tomorrow?

Bruce Baldwin: Oh, well, it's not like that.

Walter Burns: Well, what's it like?

Hildy Johnson: Poor Walter. He'll toss and turn all night. Perhaps we better tell him Mother's coming along, too.

Walter Burns: [to Hildy] Mother? Why, your mother kicked the bucket!

Bruce Baldwin: No, my mother, my mother.

Walter Burns: Oh, your mother. Oh, well, that relieves my mind.

Hildy Johnson: [to Walter] It was cruel of us to let you suffer that way.

[to Bruce]

Hildy Johnson: Isn't Walter sweet? Always wanting to protect me.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking to Walter on the phone] Did you hear that? That's the story I just wrote. Yes, yes, I know we had a bargain. I just said I'd write it, I didn't say I wouldn't tear it up! It's all in little pieces now, Walter, and I hope to do the same for you some day!

[hangs up emphatically]

Hildy Johnson: [to the other reporters] And that, my friends, is my farewell to the newspaper game.

Hildy Johnson: Walter!

Walter Burns: What?

Hildy Johnson: The mayor's first wife, what was her name?

Walter Burns: You mean the one with the wart on her?

Hildy Johnson: Right.

Walter Burns: Fanny!

Walter Burns: [On the phone with Duffy; Walter and Hildy are getting remarried and going to Niagara Falls on their honeymoon] What? A strike? What strike? Where? Albany? Well, I know it's on the way, Duffy, but I can't ask Hildy to...

Hildy Johnson: All right, we'll honeymoon in Albany.

Walter Burns: Okay, Duffy.

[to Hildy]

Walter Burns: Well, isn't that a coincidence, we're going to Albany! I wonder if Bruce can put us up.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking on the phone to Bruce] There's an old newspaper superstition that the first big check you get, you put in the lining of your hat. In your hat! It brings good luck.

Murphy: I've been a reporter for 20 years - I never heard that before.

Hildy Johnson: [to Murphy] Neither did I.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking of her fiance] He treats me like a woman.

Walter Burns: Oh he does, does he? Mm-hm... how did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?

Walter Burns: What were you when you came here five years ago - a little college girl from a school of journalism. I took a doll-faced hick...

Hildy Johnson: Well, you wouldn't take me if I hadn't been doll-faced.

Walter Burns: Well, why should I? I thought it would be a novelty to have a face around here a man could look at without shuddering.

Hildy Johnson: A big fat lummox like you hiring an airplane to write: "Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter." Delayed our divorce 20 minutes while the judge went out and watched it.

Bensinger: Are we invited to the wedding?

Hildy Johnson: Well, I might use you for a bridesmaid, Roy.

Bruce Baldwin: [Speaking of Walter] You know, Hildy, he's not such a bad fellow.

Hildy Johnson: No, he should make some girl real happy.

Bruce Baldwin: Uh-huh.

Hildy Johnson: [Under her breath] Slap-happy.

Bruce Baldwin: He's not the man for you. I can see that. But I sort of like him. He's got a lot of charm.

Hildy Johnson: Well, he comes by it naturally - his grandfather was a snake.

Hildy Johnson: All I know is that instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom, I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Krupsky. You don't deny that, do you Walter?

Walter Burns: Deny it? I'm proud of it. We beat the whole country on that story.

Hildy Johnson: [shouting] Well, suppose we did. That isn't what I got married for!

Hildy Johnson: [to Walter] Listen to me, you great big bubble-headed baboon!

Hildy Johnson: I wouldn't cover the burning of Rome for you if they were just lighting it up!

Walter Burns: Well well... how long is it?

Hildy Johnson: How long is what?

Walter Burns: You know what... how long is it since we've seen each other?

Walter Burns: Let's see this paragon! Is he as good as you say?

Hildy Johnson: Why, he's better!

Walter Burns: Well then, what does he want with you?

Hildy Johnson: Ah-ha-ha, now you got me!

Walter Burns: You've got the brain of a pancake. This isn't just a story you're covering - it's a revolution. This is the greatest yarn in journalism since Livingstone discovered Stanley.

Hildy Johnson: It's the other way around.

Walter Burns: Oh, well, don't get technical at a time like this.

Walter Burns: We've been in worse jams than this, haven't we, Hildy?

Hildy Johnson: Nope.

Hildy Johnson: Take your hands off me! What are you playing osteopath?

Sanders: Where'd ya get the hat?

Hildy Johnson: Hey! I paid twelve bucks for that hat.