Hilary Faye Quotes in Saved! (2004)

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Hilary Faye Quotes:

  • Hilary Faye: You know, secondhand smoke kills.

    Cassandra: I'm counting on it.

  • Hilary Faye: Mary, turn away from Satan. Jesus, he loves you.

    Mary: You don't know the first thing about love.

    Hilary Faye: [throws a Bible at Mary] I am FILLED with Christ's love! You are just jealous of my success in the Lord.

    Mary: [Mary holds up the Bible] This is not a weapon! You idiot.

  • Hilary Faye: [the day after "saving" Cassandra] Hey Cass! How do you feel?

    Cassandra: Oh, I'm a whole new girl Hay-Faye.

    Hilary Faye: I TOLD YOU! How great is Jesus?

    Cassandra: Yeah, um, about that... I've decided to devote my life to Satan instead. Thanks though!

  • Veronica: Roland is so blessed to have such a thoughtful sister. You know, in countries like China, Hilary Faye would probably have been killed at birth.

    Hilary Faye: And then where would you be, Roland?

    Roland: China.

  • Pastor Skip: I think the Christian thing to do would be to let them stay.

    Hilary Faye: The Christian thing to do? I have been doing the CHRISTIAN THING my whole life! I did not have sex with a gay and try to blame it on Jesus!

    Mary: Hilary Faye...

    Hilary Faye: Oh, shut up, you fornicator!

  • [Mary is about to confess that Dean is gay]

    Mary: I need to tell you guys something.

    [Van suddenly haults]

    Hilary Faye: Eew.

    Veronica: Eew.

    Roland: WHAT? Wasn't like it was some kind of secret. The guy was like a one-man gay pride parade.

  • Cassandra: I always get this really left out feeling at Christmas time

    Hilary Faye: [to Patrick] Jewish.

    [Back to Cassandra]

    Hilary Faye: Well, if you decided to accept Jesus into your heart you and your people could join in on the fun!

    Cassandra: You know what you're right! I want to join in on the fun. I don't want a Hannukah bush this year, I want a Christmas tree.

    Hilary Faye: You're playing me again?

    Cassandra: No, I want to start a personal relationship with Jesus. I want to be saved!

    Hilary Faye: Oh wow!

    [Gestures to Patrick]

    Hilary Faye: Patrick! Oh, I don't have all my equipment! Ok, first, you have to confess all of your sins out loud.

    Cassandra: Well, there's all the swearing, I mean, I have a Goddammed dirty mouth. And the sex I mean, are we talking oral

    Hilary Faye: [claps hand over Cassandra's mouth]

  • Roland: Are you okay?

    Hilary Faye: No, Roland... I crashed my van into Jesus! Okay? I have a pimple the size of Jupiter! I am NOT okay! This is not how I wanted to remember my Prom. This is not how I wanted to remember my life.

    Roland: Well maybe we can fix it... with some glue, or something

  • Hilary Faye: Well, if it isn't the Heathens.

    Cassandra: Burn in hell, you narrow-minded, tacky-ass bitch!

  • [doing stretches in gym class, Mary spots Patrick running laps around the girls. Patrick smiles at Mary]

    Hilary Faye: I know what you're looking at, Mary. And Jesus does too.

  • [during the school assembly, Cassandra stands up and begins yelling in Spanish]

    Tia: [thinking] Oh my god, the Jew girl's speaking in tongues!

    [Cassandra rips open her shirt]

    Roland: She's going to show her boobs! Thank you Jesus!

    Patrick: [thinking] She is, she's going to show her boobs!

    [looking horrified, Hilary Faye stands up at the podium]

    Hilary Faye: She's saying she has a hot pussy!

    [the word "pussy" is bleeped out by microphone feedback]

  • Mary: How was your summer, Roland?

    Roland: What?

    Mary: Your summer. How was it?

    Roland: Oh, it was great. I went roller-skating, water-skiing, learnt to kickbox. The usual.

    Hilary Faye: Roland, why do you always have to make everyone feel so awkward about your differently-abled-ness?

  • Cassandra: You can tacky up prom on your own, cause I quit.

    Hilary Faye: Quit? You can't quit!

    Cassandra: Watch me. Watch me walkin' away. Watch me walkin' away from Jesus!

  • Hilary Faye: [at a shooting range] Us Christian girls have got to learn to protect ourselves. I mean, sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some

    [cocks gun]

    Hilary Faye: rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary.

  • Pastor Skip: [to the Christian Jewels] Listen, I'm concerned about Mary. Something's going on.

    Hilary Faye: Yeah, me too.

    Pastor Skip: Well, she's part of your posse, and I think that you could help her. I'm gonna need you to be a warrior out there on the front lines for Jesus.

    Tia: You mean like shoot her.

    Pastor Skip: No, I was thinking of something a little less gangsta.

  • Hilary Faye: Roland, does Jesus still love me?

    Roland: Probably not.

    [pause]

    Roland: Yeah, why not.

  • Tia: Stop being so stingy!

    [eats chocolate]

    Hilary Faye: What? They're my Valentine's day chocolates.

    Tia: Hilary Faye, you bought them for yourself so it doesn't count.

  • Cassandra: [Drunk] Hey Roland. Wanna get outta here and you can take me for a spin on that thing... RELEASE HIS PARKING BRAKE HILARY FAYE!

    Hilary Faye: Oh, God, you smell like Tia's dad, have you been drinking?

  • Cassandra: I should kick your fat Christian ass right now.

    Hilary Faye: You know what? Whatever!

    [walks away]

    Hilary Faye: And I'm not even fat!

    Cassandra: Your head is fat! Oh! And your ass is fat!

    Hilary Faye: WHATEVER!

  • Hilary Faye: I knew Mary was hiding something. The thought of her humping that pervert... I still can't believe Roland never showed up.

    Veronica: I can't believe your brother called you the "c" word.

    Tia: I can't believe we have to go to Prom in this van.

    Hilary Faye: Look, when I tried to pay for my hair, my credit card was mysteriously maxed out and the limo driver wouldn't take a personal check. Get off my back.

    Tia: [pause] It's bad enough we don't even have dates.

  • [repeated line]

    Hilary Faye: PASTOR SKIP!

  • Tia: JESUS DIED FOR YOUR SINS!

    Hilary Faye: Tia, calm down!

  • Hilary Faye: [to Cassandra while putting up Prom decorations] You better be wearing underpants this time.

  • Hilary Faye: I mean you're not born a gay, you're born again!

  • Hilary Faye: Want to get something to eat with us?

    Patrick: We're going to DQ.

    Cassandra: Why? So we can watch Hilary Faye try to get into your Easter basket? No thanks.

  • Hilary Faye: Lay off the tiara, Tia!

  • Hilary Faye: You better be wearing underwear this time.

    Cassandra: [looks over shoulder and down ladder at Hilary Faye] Heh.

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Characters on Saved! (2004)