Herman Quotes in Groundhog Day (1993)

[sitting outside the local bank]

Phil: A gust of wind.

[a gust of wind blows]

Phil: A dog barks.

[a dog barks in the distance]

Phil: Cue the truck.

[an armored truck drives up]

Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.

[Herman gets out of the armored truck and walks into the bank]

Phil: Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.

[Felix gets out of truck and stands there]

Phil: All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better.

[Doris walks up fixing her outfit]

Phil: [impersonating Doris] Felix.

[Doris says, "Felix"]

Phil: [impersonating Felix] How ya doin' Doris?

[Felix asks Doris a question]

Phil: [impersonating Doris] Can I have a roll of quarters?

[Doris asks Felix for a roll of quarters]

Phil: [Phil stands up and begins to walk towards the armored car, counting to himself]

Phil: 10, 9, 8, car...

[a car drives in front of Phil]

Phil: ...6, 5, quarters...

[roll of quarters breaks open, hitting the ground]

Phil: ...3, 2...

[Phil reaches over Felix and takes a bag of money out of the back of the armored truck]

Herman: Felix, did I bring out two bags or one?

Felix: I dunno.

[scratches his head]

Herman: Boy, that Dick sure knows how to drink, huh?

Frank Cross: Why do you keep calling me "Dick"?

Herman: I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, I guess we don't know you well enough yet to call you Dick.

Herman: Nancy, did you finish the celebrity scene page?

Nancy Kendricks: Oh, tickity-boo.

Herman: I don't know what that means.

Nancy Kendricks: It means I'll have it soon.

Herman: Well, if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say I'll have it soon? I mean, tickity-boo is just confusing for everybody!

Herman: Where'd you learn to chop wood like that?

Angela: I've never chopped wood before. But I've chopped other things.

Herman: Maria, give me a chance! My old lady don't give me no nothin' no more!

[Angela starts whacking him with a tree branch repeatedly]

Herman: The last two men on Earth, they would kill each other.

Herman: "Car 54, Where Are You?" - when finally discovering the secret of Munster Hall.

Herman: I want to go to the party and put on funny hats and be obnoxious and talk too loud and get stoned- uphold the American image abroad.

Eddie Munster: Mom, how come Pop inherited an English title? I thought he was made in Germany.

Lily Munster: Well you see, Eddie, at an early age, your father left Doctor Frankenstein's lab in Germany...

Herman: [Herman puts a monocle over his eye and looks in the mirror, which promptly shatters] That's right, son.

Lily Munster: ...and then he arrived in England and he was adopted by a family called Munster, who gave him their name.

Lily Munster: Marilyn, if you should happen to meet any strange men on board, be sure and speak to them.

Herman: That's right, dear. Don't let your... unattractiveness make you self conscious.

Cruikshank: Can I get you a bite of breakfast, governor?

Herman: Oh, thank you very much, Cruikshank, eh, but I am not a governor. I never even made Alderman.

[chuckles]

Herman: I'm a simple man, a man of the people. You may call me: Lord.

Herman: Goodbye Spot, don't eat anybody till we get back!

Lee Morgan: If Mike catches you back there, he'll crown you.

Herman: Yeah, but he isn't here.

Herman: He's no good, Miss Lee.

'Bugs' Fenner: She knows it.

Herman: So do I.

Inspector Mike Waldeck: [to Goldie] All right, son, I'm releasin' yuh, but first I want a description of the man you saw that night.

Jonathan G. 'Goldie' Locke: Ah, naw, naw, naw, naw.

Gay Lawrence: [Gay raises a reproving finger to Goldie] Now, Goldie...

Jonathan G. 'Goldie' Locke: All right! You'll get it!

Inspector Mike Waldeck: Take it, Herman.

Herman: What was the contour of his face?

Herman: [Goldie gives Gay a knowing look and Herman becomes annoyed] The contour!

Jonathan G. 'Goldie' Locke: White.

Herman: [Frustrated] Not the color... the contour!

Jonathan G. 'Goldie' Locke: Break it down, buddy.

Herman: The shape of his face then! Full, square, oval?

Jonathan G. 'Goldie' Locke: Kinda flat and full.

Gerard Reve, Herman: [are confronted with a sudden shower]

Herman: Damn weather!

Gerard Reve: [yelling and pointing to trees] There!

Gerard Reve, Herman: [ran to the trees]

Herman: We all get soaked!

Gerard Reve: That one's open!

Gerard Reve, Herman: In that tomb?

Gerard Reve: Dead men don't bite, only live ones do.

Gerard Reve, Herman: [going inside]

Herman: [got licked by Gerard and turns towards him] Do you want to get hit?

Gerard Reve: It wouldn't be the first time. But you won't.

Herman: Won't I?

Gerard Reve: No...

[pulls up Herman's shirt, touches his breast]

Herman: Do you think I'll like it?

Gerard Reve: I'm gonna try...

Herman: Keep going, Gerard.

Gerard Reve: [kisses Herman] I saw you at the station... and your picture later on... such a beautiful boy.

Gerard Reve: [after French kissing] I thought I've got to have him, even if it kills me.

Herman: I like your spiel... nobody's ever told me that before.

Gerard Reve: Spieling is my profession. I kept lobbying with Christine... and hoping that you would come.

Herman: I like you going for me, Gerard.

[going down on him]

Gerard Reve: I, dirty old man.

Eric: So.. um.. time to die?

Herman: Can I have Breakfast first?

Harry: I was just telling these guys about that accident last night. Find out who that guy was?

Dan Gillis: Not a thing. No ID. No license plates. No nothing.

Ernie: Dan, old buddy, with that fancy salary the city of Potters Bluff pays you, and the amount of money the state spends getting you educated, you ought to be able to find some clues.

Herman: If you can't solve a traffic accident, what are you gonna do if a crime happens?

Harry: Now boys, don't be riding Danny too hard. He's out to lead this town. We're lucky to have him. A Masters Degree in Criminology. Big cities fighting over him, and he comes back to his old home town to help us poor folks out.

Rudy: Get a dog.

Herman: I never had a dog. I wouldn't know what to do with it.

[first lines]

Herman: [poking his knife alternately at two names] Eeny - meeny - miny - moe. / Catch a - tiger - by his - toe. / If he - hollers - let him - go. / Eeny - meeny - miny - *moe*.

[ends on Rudy]

Dudley Hawks: How many times must I warn you to stay away from girls?

Herman: But she was someone to talk to.

Dudley Hawks: Oh yes, it all starts with talking, yakity-yakity-yak. But the moment the talking stops, my boy. you're in trouble.

Herman: You have an evil mind.

Dudley Hawks: I'm old enough to enjoy it. You're not. And keep the door locked.

Herman: My son's Herman too. He's learning the business.

Fran: Following in his father's fingerprints?

[Rose straps on a six-shooter]

Herman: Hey, are you going to wear that cannon?

Marshal Rose Hood: I don't imagine a bank robber will change the rules just for me.