Hercules Quotes in Hercules (2014)

[from trailer]

Amphiaraus: No matter how far you go, man cannot escape his fate. Who are you? Are you a murderer? Are you a mercenary who turns his back on the innocent? We believe in you! We have faith in you! Remember the deeds you have performed, the labors you have overcome! Are you only the legend, or are you truth behind the legend? Now, tell me, WHO ARE YOU?

Hercules: I AM HERCULES!

[from trailer]

[a javelin comes at Amphiaraus]

Amphiaraus: My time...

[Hercules stops the javelin]

Amphiaraus: Do you mind? I was having a moment!

Hercules: You're welcome.

Hercules: Fucking centaurs!

Hercules: You want forgiveness? Ask my family for forgiveness.

King Eurystheus: When the people called out your name louder than mine, you see, when they saw you as a god, how long... before they saw you as their king?

Hercules: I wanted nothing!

King Eurystheus: Precisely! Your sin, Hercules, was that you had no ambition! I can deal with an ambitious man! He can be bought! But a man who wants nothing has no price!

Hercules: In this moment, on this day, become the man you were born to be. You have it within yourself to write your own legend. Let it be to death, or Victory!

Hercules: Aren't you... a damsel in distress?

Meg: I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.

Hercules: You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.

Meg: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?

Hercules: Everybody's not like that.

Meg: Yes, they are.

Hercules: You're not like that.

Meg: How do you know what I'm like?

Hercules: Uh, so how'd you get stuck with the...

Meg: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

[Hercules doesn't understand]

Meg: Don't worry, maybe Shorty here can explain it to ya.

Hercules: Meg, when I'm with you, I-I don't feel so alone.

Meg: Sometimes it's better to be alone.

Hercules: What do you mean?

Meg: Nobody can hurt you.

Hercules: [as she lies dying] Meg, why did you... You didn't have to...

Meg: People do crazy things... when they're in love.

Hercules: You like making deals. Take me in Meg's place.

Hades: Hmm. The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death.

Hercules: Going once...

Hades: Is there a downside to this?

Hercules: Going twice...

Hades: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. You get her out. She goes, you stay.

[Hercules dives in to save Megara]

Hades: Oh, you know what slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to her.

[calls out as Hercules goes deeper]

Hades: That's not a problem, is it?

Hercules: But, Father, I've defeated every single monster I've come up against. I-I'm... I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm... I-I'm an action figure!

Hercules: People are... are gonna get hurt, aren't they?

Hades: Nah. I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya. Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh?

Meg: Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?

Hercules: Oh gee, I don't know. Phil has the rest of the day pretty much booked.

Meg: Aw, Phil, Schmil. Just follow me, out the window, round the dumbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.

Phil: Kid, listen to me. She's...

Hercules: A dream come true?

Phil: Not exactly.

Hercules: More beautiful than Aphrodite?

Phil: Aside from that.

Hercules: The most wonderful...

Phil: She's a fraud! She's been playing you for a sap!

Hercules: Stop kidding, Phil.

Phil: I'm not kidding.

Phil: I know your upset about today, but that's no...

Phil: You're missin' the point!

Hercules: I love her!

Phil: She don't love you! She's nothing but a two-timin'...

Hercules: Stop it!

Phil: Low-down, lyin', schemin'...

Hercules: Stop it!

[hits Phil]

Hercules: Pardon me. It seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.

Tall Thebian: Yeah? And who are you?

Hercules: I'm Hercules, and I happen to be... a hero.

[All laugh]

Elderly Thebian: Is that so? Have you ever saved a town before?

Hercules: Uh... no, not exactly. But...

Tall Thebian: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?

Hercules: Well... no.

Tall Thebian: Will you listen to this? He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.

Hercules: Uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, uh, uh, uh...

Meg: Are you always this articulate?

Hercules: Hercules. My... my name is Hercules.

Meg: Herc... huh. I think I prefer Wonderboy.

Meg: Hercules! Thank goodness.

Hercules: Wha-Wha-What's wrong?

Meg: Oh! Outside of town. Two little boys! Th-They were playing in the gorge! Th-There was this rock slide, a terrible rock slide! They're trapped!

Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!

Meg: You're really choked up about this, aren't ya?

Phil: Listen to me. I've seen 'em all, and I'm telling you - and this is the honest to Zeus truth - you got something I've never seen before.

Hercules: Really?

Phil: I feel it right down to these stubby bowlegs of mine. There is nothing you can't do, kid.

[the door bursts open and a swarm of fan girls mobs Hercules]

Fan Girl #1: There he is!

Fan Girl #2: I touched his elbow!

Fan Girl #1: I GOT HIS SWEAT BAND!

Hercules: [goes down] Phil... help!

Hercules: Halt!

Nessus the River Centaur: Step aside, Two-Legs.

Hercules: Pardon me, my good, uh... uh... sir!

[as Hercules is welcomed onto Olympus, Meg turns away sadly]

Hercules: Father, this is the moment I've always dreamed of.

[goes to her]

Hercules: But a life without Meg, even an immortal life, would be... empty. I... I wish to stay on earth with her. I finally know where I belong.

Meg: [Hercules starts toward the Cyclops] What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed!

Hercules: There are worse things.

Hercules: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay. And then that, that play, that, that, that Oedipus thing. Man, I thought *I* had problems.

Hercules: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun!

Meg: Yeah, neither did I.

Hercules: So what's in Thebes?

Phil: A lot of problems. It's a big, tough town. Good place to start building a rep.

[Suddenly, a woman's scream is heard]

Phil: Sounds like your basic DID: a damsel in distress.

[the Hydra appears]

Hercules: Phil, what is that thing?

Phil: Two words:

[Hydra shrieks]

Phil: Am-scray!

Phil: Kid, kid, kid. How many horns do you see?

Hercules: Six?

Phil: Ah, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.

[after Hercules cuts his way out of the Hydra's belly]

Hercules: Gee, Phil, that... that wasn't so hard.

[collapses]

Hercules: How can I come down there, when I'm feeling so up?

Hercules: If I meet a girl with a firm leg, a full bosom and a warm heart, let no man try and stop me.

Hercules: [Grabs forklift truck, stopping it dead] A fine chariot... but where are your horses?

Hercules: Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules.

Hercules: Bucks? Doe? What is all this zoological talk about male and female animals?

Rod Nelson: Hey, Mister! Watch your talk!

Hercules: I can hear my talk. I cannot watch it.

Hercules: Hercules hides from no man!

Hercules: Hercules has no need of money!

Hercules: [throwing an attacking robber aside] How dare you touch Hercules!

Mercury: You could do great harm.

Hercules: Ahm To Oom?

Hercules: PUT THAT DISCUS DOWN!

Helen Camden: [noticing a poster for a "Hercules" stage show] Oh look, you're famous.

Hercules: That is not Hercules! And who is that monster who looks as if he has come straight from the kingdom of the underworld?

Helen Camden: Oh no, this is a motion picture, a play! Really, you mustn't take yourself so seriously.

Hercules: He doesn't even look like me! Look...

[takes his sweater off]

Helen Camden: What... what are you doing?

[noticing his impressive muscles]

Helen Camden: Oh wow!

Hercules: [flexing] Does he? Hahahah. Does he?

Helen Camden: I... I... I... I really wish you'd put your shirt back on. He isn't supposed to look like anyone other than the actor who plays the part.

Hercules: What is the name of that imitator? Who gave him permission to pretend to be Hercules?

Helen Camden: I think we outta go.

Hercules: Insolent!

Queen Deianira: My father has paid with his life for the murder of your wife. I have given my people orders not to fight. If you still seek revenge, take my life. But spare my people, they are innocent.

Hercules: Your people need not be afraid of me. And I would not avenge myself on a defenseless woman; even if you are the daughter of a man who was my greatest enemy.

Hercules: I don't want to make war on Acalia. My only enemy is Eurysteus. I will allow him to defend himself. But if he possessed of too much cowardice, I will ask his people for the Trial of Themis.

Achilles: I am displeased at you having kept from your friend the fact of our forthcoming marriage. Well, now you know.

Hercules: Have you promised yourself to this man?

Queen Deianira: I have been vowed to Achellos in marriage. It was my father who wanted it.

Hercules: Your father committed many errors in his life. In my opinion, this one is the worst of them.

Némée: Once you set eyes on her, you will abandon any intention of ever leaving.

Hercules: I cannot stay. My honor is at stake.

Hippolyta: Did you hope I'd be more beautiful? So it seems. You think that my face does not match my fame and you are disappointed.

Hercules: Whoever you may be, Hippolyta or Deianira, you are the woman I want.

Hercules: Oracle, you who see truth in shifting sand, in the moving tides of the sea, in the flight of birds across the sky, you to whom the stars reveal their secrets and the fates disclose their mysteries we mortals see only in our admonishing dreams. Tell me if the gods have been placated at last; if of their endless trials I shall have peace.

The oracle: Hercules, I see the ocean in madness. I see a raft dragged along and tossed in the wake of a mighty vessel. This vessel I see is the wrath of the gods you've brought upon yourself by killing the sacred serpent of the goddess Hera. Your whole life, Hercules, will be as this raft. Swept by wind and wave, tossed by the tempest.

Hercules: What more, oracle? What new sufferings must I endure?

Hercules: Why am I stronger than other men? Why does my strength bring so many sorrows upon my head?

Hercules: I must find a way to overcome the fire monster's radiant hate.

Hercules: Who art thou?

Hercules: I'm so sleepy, I can't seem to keep awake!

Hercules: Deianira, what's the matter with you? Don't you recognize me?

Princess Deianira: I recognize no one. We here do not even know ourselves.

King Lico: Can one fight against shadows? Can one fight against winds? Against bolts of lightning? Can one fight against terrible storms that ravage the Earth?

Hercules: The stormy winds, the bolts of lightning, are sent from Heaven by the gods. But evil is spawned here on Earth. So it is that I shall have to ask the gods to help me find a weapon to fight it.

Princess Deianira: When I think of what has happened, happened because of me, I almost wish you'd left me here to die.

Hercules: You mustn't speak like this. If anybody's at fault, it's certainly not you. All this is brought about by a terrible destiny that hangs over me and over all those who are near me.

Princess Deianira: I don't care whatever fate may come your way.

Hercules: Without you, life does not exist.

Thesus: It's strange that you should talk to me this way. You, Hercules, who challenged the divine gods themselves for love of a woman. And I was there at your side. I'm amazed to have to defend my love against you.

Hercules: It's just this which rends my mission so painful.

[last lines]

Hercules: As long as Theseus steals other men's girls, I have nothing to worry about.

Hercules: It's strange. I haven't seen a wheel since I've been in your country. Do you know what a wheel is?

Professor Echo, the ventriloquist, aka Mrs. 'Granny' O'Grady: [about Regan] That dick has a line on us. We gotta think fast.

Tweedledee, the dwarf, aka Little Willie: He's got a hunch Hector turned this trick. Let's plant the jewels in the boob's room!

Hercules: That's it! Make him the fall guy!

Professor Echo, the ventriloquist, aka Mrs. 'Granny' O'Grady: [At Midnight, talking to Hercules and Tweedledee] You see, my plan is so ridiculous... so simple... that it scares you. But... if you come with me, we'll clean up millions.

[Tweedledee smiles]

Hercules: It's spooky! It sounds... unholy!

Professor Echo, the ventriloquist, aka Mrs. 'Granny' O'Grady: That's it! We'll be the Unholy Three!

Hercules: That guy bossin' me... me and my strength!

Tweedledee, the dwarf, aka Little Willie: He's too jealous to leave her with that boob. Come on... we'll turn this trick alone!

Hercules: They're going to make you one of them, my peacock!

Cleopatra: [Invites Hercules into her circus wagon for a meal. Picks up an egg] How many?

Hercules: Oh, I'm not very hungry. About six.

Cleopatra: [Hands on her hips, chest out] How do you like them?

Hercules: Not... bad.

[Grabs her]

Cleopatra: Oh, you are strong. You are squeezing me to death.

Hercules: And you'll like it!

Cleopatra: Oh, you are taking my breath away.

Hercules: Ungrateful little tramp!

Hercules: I'm tired of spending time and money on somebody like you.

Venus: Yeah, your time, but my money.

Hercules: You will have a baby - a monster, an evil monster conceived in your womb as big as I am small and possessed by the devil himself!