Henri Quotes in I Am Number Four (2011)

Henri: [quizzing John on their cover story] What's your name?

John: John Smith.

Henri: Where are you from?

John: Toronto.

Henri: Seem kinda tan for Toronto.

John: Santa Fe, New Mexico. I know the drill, okay?

Henri: [holding a cell phone] Keep this on you, I'll call you every hour. You don't pick up, I'll know something's wrong.

John: Every *hour*?

Henri: That, or you can homeschool, and I'll be your teacher.

Henri: We don't love like the humans. With us it's forever. You will never forget.

John: [trying to convince Henri to allow him to keep a dog] Come on! Another pair of eyes and ears watching the house? I'm going to need somebody to talk to.

Henri: Talk to me... yeah, keep the dog.

Charles: Sheeta, can you make pudding? I *love* pudding!

Louis: I get to lick the spatula!

Henri: And I like chocolate cake with that... Oh, what's that frosting? It's kinda pink and swirly with...

Dola: Will you shut up?

[to Pazu and Sheeta]

Dola: Ah, what can I tell ya? They just really like dessert.

[after Dola decides to let Pazu and Sheeta become pirates]

Louis: [overjoyed] YES! No more swabbin' the decks! Hooray!

Henri: I won't have to wash the dishes!

Charles: I've peeled my last potato! YEE-HAW!

Louis: WHOOPIE!

Henri: WHEE!

[they all fly around and start celebrating]

Louis, Henri: [encouraging Charles to fight Boss] He said Mom was ugly, now go get him!

[in the galley; Sheeta is cooking when Louis happens by, standing idly around her]

Louis: Ahem.

Sheeta: Uh, yes? What is it?

Louis: [speechless] Uhm...

Sheeta: Yes?

Louis: [blurts out] I-I-I finished my work for the moment, and I've come to offer you my help.

Sheeta: Well, that's kind of you. Will you hand me those plates over there?

Louis: With pleasure, my little ang...

[scowls when he notices one of his brothers peeling a potato]

Louis: What are YOU doing here?

Pirate: Helping.

Louis: I thought you said you had a stomachache!

Charles: [throwing open the door with a rose in hand] I'm in love with you!

Louis: YOU?

Charles: [sheepishly] Hello.

[later, when all the pirates are helping Sheeta in the galley]

Henri: [entering the room casually] Hi, is there anything I can do?

[Dola comes thundering into Pazu's town on her automobile where her boys are brawling with the citizens]

Dola: Full speed ahead!

[to Louis and Henri in the distance]

Dola: Hey, boys!

Louis: Wha - ? Hey, it's Mom!

Louis, Henri: [Dola drives up to Louis and Henri] Hi, Mom!

Dola: [incensed] You chowderheads! Get your brother and hop on!

Louis: [dumbfounded] Huh? But Sheeta's hiding inside that house!

Dola: Lamebrain! They made an escape! Now step on it!

Louis: [jumping onto Dola's car] They ESCAPED?

Henri: [jumps on after Louis] Hey, I wanna come!

Charles: [grabbing onto the back of Dola's car] Mommy!

Henri: [Pazu has just returned home; he is about to open the door when suddenly hands reach out to grab him] Well! Ahoy there, matey!

Pazu: Ahh! What's going on?

[he is thrown into his house; cut to Pazu struggling as Henri ties him up]

Henri: Stop wriggling, ya little worm!

Dola: [seated at the dinner table, noisily munching on a steak] Welcome home, sonny!

Pazu: [as Henri pulls a bound Pazu to the wall] Get out! Get out, or I'll throw you out! This is MY house!

Dola: [disdainfully] Oh, ya can't scare me! You can't even protect one small girl!

Pazu: Whaddaya mean?

Henri: [taking out the gold coins Muska gave Pazu] Hey, Mom! Can I keep this money?

Dola: Up and sold a little girl, did ya? I know your type!

Pazu: [protesting] You don't know what you're talking about!

Dola: They offered ya money, and ya took it, didn't you?

Pazu: I only left because Sheeta told me to!

[sighing]

Pazu: That's why.

Dola: [spits in disgust] So ya believed her and ya came back here, right? You're just a SCARED LITTLE BOY WHO RUNS AWAY!

[slams her fist on the table]

Pazu: Says you! You don't even have the guts to stand up to Muska and the army!

Dola: He who turns and runs away can steal the treasure ANOTHER DAY!

Charles: [underneath Dola's line] Mm-hm.

Louis: [dryly] That's so true.

Dola: Don't ya think it's kinda strange that the army has gotten into the kidnapping business?

[takes another big bite on her steak]

Dola: You really think they'll keep her alive? Don't ya see that they forced her to make a deal?

Pazu: [surprised] Huh?

Dola: [downs the rest of her steak] She *saved your life*! Get it?

Louis: [as Pazu hangs his head] Mommy, you amaze me. How do ya know these things?

Dola: Oh, well, ya can't be a sensitive woman like me without learnin' a few things. Sheeta and I are exactly alike: all warm and mushy and sensitive!

[belches]

Dola: Now, so when you boys get married, you go find a gal like her!

Louis: [dumbfounded] Huh? She's gonna end up... like Mama?

Charles: Good question.

Fievel Mousekewitz: Henri, what's that over there?

Henri: Oh, that is more America.

Fievel Mousekewitz: Can we go see it?

Henri: You will, my little American. Someday, you will.

Henri: Where is your mama, your papa, huh?

Fievel Mousekewitz: I don't know. They were on a boat to America.

Henri: Then you are in luck, my little immigrant. This is America.

Fievel Mousekewitz: America. But I thought it was bigger.

Henri: It is bigger. All of that is also America.

Henri: I know, my little immigrant. You want to find your family. And you will.

Fievel Mousekewitz: But how? They're so far away, and it's so big. I'll never find them.

Henri: Excuse moi, pardon, did you say never? So young, and you've already lost hope! This is America, the place to find hope. If you give up now, you will never find them. So never say never.

Henri: Now, are you going to find your family?

Fievel Mousekewitz: Yes!

Henri: Chantal! Take this little one to Immigration. You will find your family there. Everyone goes through Immigration. I would take you there myself, but then I would never finish my statue.

Fievel Mousekewitz: Henri, you said never.

Henri: Oh, so I did!

Henri: Qu'est-ce que c'est? A little immigrant. Now they are coming by bottle.

Fievel Mousekewitz: But that's impossible! I'll never find my fam...

Henri: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Never say never! Now say that! Go on!

[as Henri and Margot walk down the aisle after being married]

Henri: Your mother hates me.

Margot: Yours hated me.

Henri: Yours *killed* mine.

Margot: La Mole would die for us!

Henri: For *us*?

Margot: Yes, for us.

Henri: He'd die for another night with you.

Le Cardinal: Henri de Bourbon, do you take Marguerite de Valois as your wife?

Henri: I do.

Le Cardinal: Marguerite de Valois, do you take Henri de Bourbon, King of Navarre, as your husband?

[there is a pause]

Le Cardinal: Marguerite de Valois, do you take... In the name of God, and His Holy Church, I join you in matrimony.

Henri: Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning. I have it on the very highest authority.

Jane Avril: What is wrong with me, Henri? Other women find love and happiness. I find only disenchantment.

Henri: But you find it so often.

Henri: [while walking past kissing couples] On the Bateaux Mouche, the only polite direction in which to look is up... at the moon.

Henri: Will you to the opera go with me tomorrow night, mademoiselle? While you make up your mind, let me remind you of the ladies of the Spanish court, who always kept their pet apes by their side so that they themselves would look more beautiful.

Myriamme Hayam: Is your wit always turned against yourself, Monsieur Lautrec?

Sarah: You should not drink so fast, Monsieur Lautrec. It burns your stomach.

Henri: I'm thirsty. Please.

Sarah: Wine is for thirst.

Henri: At least you did not say water.

Sarah: Water is for Americans.

Henri: Some men can swing by their heels on the flying trapeze. Some men can become president of the republic. I can drink cognac.

Jane Avril: Have you ever had contact with a legal mind, Henri? It's beyond belief. I wasn't the vision of his dreams, I was the party of the first part. He didn't declare his love for me, he merely acknowledged that as a state of affection exists... Oh Henri, why couldn't you be tall and handsome?

Henri: Two more of these and I shall be.

[He drinks]

Jane Avril: You are the only man who has never bored me.

Henri: I am the only man who has never loved you.

Jane Avril: Henri, over there. There is the most beautiful creature. Look at those shoulders.

Henri: For your sake, I pray that they are not padded.

Georges Seurat: Drink your drink, Henri, and then we will go to the Louvre and refresh our souls, eh?

Henri: The Louvre. That graveyard.

Gauzi: Graveyard! The home of the Mona Lisa, and he calls it a, a graveyard!

Anquetin an Artist: Ah, the Mona Lisa. Only the greatest painting in the world. At this moment I could kneel down and give thanks to Leonardo.

Henri: And how do you know it is the greatest painting in the world? And how do you know it was by Leonardo?

Anquetin an Artist: Because I feel it! I feel it here, in my heart.

Henri: I feel in my heart that you are a pompous ass, but that does not make it so.

Gauzi: Only Leonardo could have painted that smile. She smiles with her eyes!

Henri: I don't care if she smiles with her navel, that still doesn't say that Da Vinci painted it.

The Comte de Toulouse-Lautrec: You should be horsewhipped for smearing the name of Toulouse-Lautrec over every kiosk in Paris. That revolting poster is a disgrace.

Henri: I am sorry you do not like my work, Father. But I shall continue to sign it as I please, for it is my name and it is my work.

The Comte de Toulouse-Lautrec: Work? A pretext to hang about cheap dance halls and drink all night. You call that pornographic trash work?

Henri: Yes, I call it work. On this I am more of an authority than you, Father. You've never worked. Our kind never did. We are the grand seigneurs, we are above work.

Henri: Big crowd tonight.

Zidler: Too big, thanks to your poster. Oh, I know I'm making millions, but I liked the Moulin Rouge as she was, lighthearted and hot-blooded, a little strumpet who thought only of tonight. Now she is grown up and knows better. She has money in her stocking, wears corsets, and never drinks a drop too much. Worst of all, she never sees her old friends anymore. She has gone into society. Last night she entertained a cabinet minister and his wife and daughter. It's *disgusting*!

Henri: The morning wind is cold, but not so cold as the waters of the *Seine*.

Myriamme Hayam: You are mistaken, monsieur. I am *not* a candidate for the river.

Henri: We are *all* candidates, when driven by the mania of *love*.

Prudish woman: Are you Monsieur Joyant?

Maurice Joyant: Yes, madame.

Prudish woman: You should be arrested. To hang such a thing on your wall! Look at this woman. She is undressing, with a man looking on! Disgusting!

Henri: Forgive me, madame, the lady is not undressing, she is dressing. The gentleman happens to be her husband. They are celebrating their twenty-seventh wedding anniversary. They are going to have dinner with their oldest son. He is a taxidermist. I am appalled that you should thus malign these good people. It goes to prove what I have always maintained, that evil exists only in the eye of the beholder. I will thank you to stop looking at my pictures.

Henri: Well, Jane, what a long road you have traveled. Only a few years ago you were singing for your supper, and here you are a full-fledged star at twenty-nine.

Jane Avril: Twenty-five!

Henri: Of course, I beg your pardon. Twenty-five.

Jane Avril: I have been twenty-five for four years, and I shall stay there for another four. Then I'll be twenty-seven for a while. I intend to grow old *gracefully*!

Henri: One should *never* meet a person whose work one admires; What they *do* is always so much better than what they *are*!

Henri: Love is a state of confusion in which the victim can not distinguish between spiritual aspiration, carnal desire, and pride of ownership.

Myriamme Hayam: Do you drink for pleasure, Monsieur Lautrec?

Henri: Is there any other reason?

Myriamme Hayam: Many. My father, for instance, because he sought oblivion. Mercifully, he found it, quickly.

Henri: Your father was very fortunate.

Myriamme Hayam: Then, do you too seek oblivion?

Henri: I meant, to have so understanding a daughter.

Henri: We each have our own escape, you see. Mother her prayers. You, your horses your falcons and your dreams of an age that is no more. And I, mine is cognac.

La Goulue: One day I'll go right down her throat, pull her heart out, and feed it to my cat!

Henri: If you can get at her. She has long arms, Aicha.

La Goulue: I'll crack them, I'll - ...

[Aicha kicks her]

La Goulue: You kick me!

Aicha: *You* kicked *me*!

Henri: This calls for a drink. Cognac?

La Goulue: Thank you.

[she throws the drink in Aicha's face]

Henri: Aicha?

Aicha: [Aicha accepts the glass and throws the contents in La Goulue's face] Thanks.

Henri: [smiles] Now, we're all *friends* again.

[the women fight]

Myriamme Hayam: Tell me about Marie Charlet.

Henri: What do you want to know?

Myriamme Hayam: Were you in love with her?

Henri: Let us say that she opened doors for me that might better have remained closed. It's a long time ago.

Myriamme Hayam: And have you never loved since?

Henri: My dear Myriamme, any man can only play the fool once, no more. Unless he enjoys the role.

Henri: Maman, I am leaving here. I am going to Paris. I shall become a painter. I shall try to make a life for myself.

Countess Adèle de Toulouse-Lautrec: You will... you will be lonely there, Henri!

Henri: I will be lonely anywhere, Maman.

Henri: Tourists bring out the killer in me!

Henri: Yeah! I can see you. Child on your hip, born to be a mom.

Deena: And I see you. Mustache on your face, profiled on To Catch a Predator.

Jenkins: We have been together for quite some time, now; I see no reason to discontinue the association?

Jackson: I got the idea: Pie four ways is better than no pie at all.

Jenkins: Then we are in agreement?

Henri: Totally, completely, in every which way.

Babbette: Yes, yes, because pie is my most favorite dessert.

Henri: Hi, I'm Henri.

Lily: I'm Lily, this is...

Kat: Kat.

Henri: Will you drown him, too, when you're fed up?

Henri: Are you married?

Franck: No.

Henri: But you live with a woman?

Franck: No, I'm gay.

Henri: You only sleep with men?

Franck: [smiles] Can we speak frankly?

Henri: It's unusual.

Franck: What is?

Henri: Guys who sleep together, sure, but they've got a wife or girlfriend. Guys who are gay - I mean, really gay - are pretty rare.

Franck: [smitten by Michel] I really like him.

Henri: [warily] He does have a nice body.

Franck: It's typical. The guys I like are always taken.