Henderson Quotes in You Only Live Twice (1967)

Henderson: [Hands Bond a martini] Oh, that's stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?

James Bond: Perfect. Cheers.

Henderson: Cheers.

James Bond: Russian vodka. Well done.

Henderson: Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy - amongst certain other things.

Henderson: For some time our astronomers have noticed an unusual amount of atomic activity on the moon. Atomic activity on the moon, atomic blasts on the earth: the two known facts fit together.

Henderson: You live here all alone?

Otis B. Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.

Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.

Otis B. Driftwood: That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.

Henderson: What's a hermit doing with four beds?

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you see those first three beds?

Henderson: Yes.

Otis B. Driftwood: Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?

Henderson: What is that bed doing there?

Otis B. Driftwood: I don't see it doing anything.

Otis B. Driftwood: That's the fire escape. And, uh... that's a table, and this is a room, and there's the door leading out, and I wish you'd use it, I... I vant to be alone!

Henderson: You'll be alone when I throw you in jail!

Otis B. Driftwood: Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?

Henderson: Hey, who were you talking to?

Otis B. Driftwood: I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it. I've had three of the best doctors in the East.

Henderson: Say! Now, how did those two beds get together?

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you know how those things are, they breed like rabbits.

Henderson: The last time I was in this room there were four beds here.

Otis B. Driftwood: Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.

Henderson: Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?

Otis B. Driftwood: Now which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?

Henderson: Do you, Ben...

Cassie: Benjamin Reynolds.

Henderson: Benjamin Reynolds, take this young woman...

Cassie: Cassie Kennington.

Henderson: [Henderson wipes eyes, takes off hat] Do both of you promise to treat each other with dignity and love until one or the other drops dead?

Cassie: I do.

[looks at Ben]

Ben: I do.

Henderson: [Henderson, Cassie, and Ben put their hands in the center and "break"] Well, looks like you're both married now.

[grins]

Ben: [looks at Cassie, laughs nervously and grins] That's great.

[Henderson nods]

Cassie: [whispers] Oh, the ring.

[Ben gets a straightened paper clip and wraps it around her finger, then pats her hand]

Henderson: Congratulations to you both.

[gets up]

Cassie: Well, I feel good about this whole thing.

[to Henderson]

Cassie: How about you?

Henderson: [grins again] Yeah. I feel good about it.

[Cassie looks at Ben and their eyes meet]

Ben: [nervously] Uh, well, I don't have a lot to compare it to, but, uh, yeah...

[gulps]

Ben: I feel good.

Henderson: Oh and if you wanna kiss the bride, you can do that now, 'cause I forgot to say it.

Cassie: How much do we owe you? For room and board and water.

Henderson: Hmm... well, waking up to the smell of pig shit ought to do it.

Henderson: Don't I know you from somewheres?

Robert Teller: No, I-I don't think so.

[Turns around and leaves]

Henderson: Queer?