Hector Cyr Quotes in Lake Placid (1999)

Sheriff Hank Keough: I... I... I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean.

Hector Cyr: Well, they conceal information like that in books.

[Hector Cyr is preparing to SCUBA dive to look for the crocodile]

Sheriff Hank Keough: I brought a pork chop for luck. Maybe you could hang it around your neck.

Hector Cyr: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log.

Hector Cyr: What'd Bickerman say?

Jack Wells: Well, she didn't want to tell us about the second croc 'cause she was afraid we'd blow its head off.

Sheriff Hank Keough: Women's intuition.

Sheriff Hank Keough: Crocodiles can't swim in salt water.

Hector Cyr: Yeah, well, that'll be your little secret.

Hector Cyr: Sheriff, think about being rich. My parents had the added luxury of ditching me off at karate school on a regular basis. I *am* a brown belt, go ahead, take your best shot, take your best...

[Hank punches him in the nose, knocks him down]

Sheriff Hank Keough: [to Jack] He said he knew karate.

Jack Wells: You hit him.

Sheriff Hank Keough: I did, yeah.

Hector Cyr: Did he say "go"? Aren't you supposed to say "go" in karate? You're supposed to say "go"!

Hector Cyr: He bit me! He bit me! There's two! There's two!

Sheriff Hank Keough: I can count.

[the second crocs rears up out of the water and the sheriff blows his head off with the grenade launcher]

Sheriff Hank Keough: Back to one.

Hector Cyr: [after the death of a deputy] I'm sorry about your deputy... whenever someone dies, I always feel like it's such a waste that I didn't know them any better.

Sheriff Hank Keough: [sarcastic] I'm sorry for your loss, Hector.

Hector Cyr: That's not really what I meant.

Sheriff Hank Keough: [shaking his head] His head was just... bitten off.

Hector Cyr: I used to have a recurring nightmare that I was headless. I'd be down on the ground looking up at my headless body, watching myself walk around the yard bumping into things, and my parents wouldn't let me in the house because they'd just bought all these antique lamps didn't want me to knock them over, the fuckers. Then the neighborhood kids came by, saw my severed head lying on the ground and started a game of kickball, and as I was being kicked around, I actually just felt grateful for being allowed in the game... What are your thoughts?

[Hector Cyr is dancing with a female Deputy Sheriff]

Hector Cyr: Law enforcement is very dangerous work isn't it?

[She nods]

Hector Cyr: And you have such big, wonderful boobs.

Deputy Sharon Gare: Ha! Thank you!

Kelly Scott: [on the phone with the wildlife services] Thank you, it's so rewarding to imagine my tax dollar finding its way to you, you fuckshit!

Hector Cyr: You are a saucy flirt.

Hector Cyr: [after being startled by Hank and his revolver] Jesus fucking Christ!

Sheriff Hank Keough: What the hell are you doing?

Hector Cyr: What the hell are YOU doing? I'm laying a spring trap.

Sheriff Hank Keough: I could have shot you!

Hector Cyr: This could end up saving your life, which is meaningful to you, because the longer you live, the more sex you get to have with your sister!

Jack Wells: [comes running over] What's going on here?

Hector Cyr: [about Hank, who'd been out for a bathroom break] He's waving his little wang around scaring the shit outta me!

Sheriff Hank Keough: [holds up his revolver] How big is *this?*

[to a game warden]

Hector Cyr: I'm a civilian, not a trout - you have no authority over me whatsoever.

Sheriff Hank Keough: Who are you?

Hector Cyr: Hector Cyr, I said it once, lemme know when it sinks in, OK?

Sheriff Hank Keough: Look. He's suffering. I get to be humane.

[Aims grenade launcher]

Hector Cyr: No! No. No, no, no look, he's trapped. We've done it. So what it's not a net but, but, but he's trapped. Mission accomplished.

Jack Wells: Shoot him!

Hector Cyr: I've got more drugs. He's half dead.

Jack Wells: He's half alive! Shoot him!

Kelly Scott: His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile.

Sheriff Hank Keough: Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?

Hector Cyr: Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.

Hector Cyr: Let's not overlook the fact that he didn't eat me.

Jack Wells: 'Cause he just ate a cow, stupid!

Hector Cyr: She tell you that we had sex together? So vigorous!

Kelly Scott: I never had sex with you!

Hector Cyr: I'm horrible in bed. They never remember.

Hector Cyr: You're supposed to say 'go' in karate. You face each other, you bow, and you say go!

Sheriff Hank Keough: Yeah, as in go fuck yourself!

Deputy Sharon Gare: Seems like we're getting lower.

Hector Cyr: That's what happens when I land.

Kelly Scott: Did you want to be killed by it?

Hector Cyr: You think I'm that nuts?

Kelly Scott: Hector, what you just did, there had to be some sort of death wish going on.

Hector Cyr: In ancient Malenesia people suspected of crime's would be thrown to the crocodiles. Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge.

Kelly Scott: Oh, so that was you wanting to be judged out there?

Hector Cyr: Maybe I was, and so what? Is that too arbitrary? Better to be measured by my wealth? Better for me to get my self-esteem looking into the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket? There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes. There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes...

Kelly Scott: Jesus, Hector cut the shit.

Hector Cyr: Aw, fuck it.

[Hank has been caught in another of Hector's traps. He hangs from a tree by his ankles]

Hector Cyr: I could probably cut him down but there's this odd look of mayhem on his upside-down face

Deputy Sharon Gare: Come on, Hector. I know you're crazy, but you can't do this.

Hector Cyr: I need to see his habitat up close, Deputy Gare.

Deputy Sharon Gare: Then watch NOVA, OK? But don't go in the water, please.