Harold Vilmes Quotes in Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Hank Vilmes: Harold, are we on COPS? Are we on COPS? Are we on COPS, Harold?

Harold Vilmes: Shut up, Hanky, this here's business.

[Harold gives Hank a smack on the head]

Hank Vilmes: Ow! Harold, Mom said not in the head!

Harold Vilmes: Well, Mom's dead, so shut your fly trap.

Hank Vilmes: I will if you shut your piehole.

[Harold starts fighting with Hank]

Harold Vilmes: Don't make me kick ya where the good Lord split ya!

Jenelle Betz: [at the contestant interviews] The tard's pants are completely off

Harold Vilmes: [everyone looks at Hank who is obviously spanking his monkey] Close up shop! Close up shop!

Harold Vilmes: [to Hank] Here's your paint can. And the next time you drink window cleaner, I'm just gonna leave it in you!

[during the pageant interview]

Harold Vilmes: Are you Amber Atkins?

Amber Atkins: [smiling] Yes, yes I am. Thank you. Hello.

Harold Vilmes: [checking his clipboard] Name and spell all the United States in alphabetical order.

Amber Atkins: Seriously?

Harold Vilmes: So, who gets the crown? How are you going to figure this all out?

John: Well, you know, we'll, uh, compare scores and, uh, figure out a winner because, I mean, we don't know who the winner is yet. I mean, I have no idea who Jean picked, or Harold... No idea.

Hank Vilmes: I know who da winner is. I know who da winner - Harold! I know who da winner is!

John: That's it... You shut your Goddamn mouth, you shut your Goddamn mouth you Goddamn retard!

[he climbs over the table and jumps onto Hank, wrestling him to floor]

Harold Vilmes: [pulling John away and pushing him into chair] Come on! Back off, college boy, now listen...

[he pulls John's tie and it rips off - it's a clip-on]

Harold Vilmes: Hanky here can't help it if he was born crazier than a shit house rat!

John: Well, for fuck's sake, why didn't you leave him with a sitter?

[Hank starts to cry]

Harold Vilmes: Nice, John. That's real nice... You know the babysitter's dead!