Haley Graham Quotes in Stick It (2006)

Haley Graham: Can you believe this? Did you see it?

Poot: Yeah, I saw it. Are you... totally covered in soda, or what?

Haley Graham: Oh, yeah, great. Thank you.

Frank: I'm so pissed at that kid. We were totally gonna throw drinks on you. I feel so upstaged.

Poot: I mean, what? They think they can just hate on you like that?

Frank: I know! Dude, who do they think they are?

Poot: They're fakers, that's who. I can't stand fake Haley-haters!

Frank: It's a bloody outrage, I tell ya!

Poot: [Yelling] We hate Haley more, people, so *get in line*!

Haley Graham: Would you shut up?

Haley Graham: Can't I be upset?

Haley Graham: Can I go compete now?

[Walks away]

Frank: Can I eat? I'm so hungry.

Poot: [Rubs his head] Let's get some nachos.

Haley Graham: [V.O] Gymnastics tells you 'no' all day long. It mocks you over and over again, telling you that you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like running full speed towards a stationary object, vault's for you. If you like peeling pieces of skin the size of quarters off your hands, bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun than rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor? Are you serious? I mean, who doesn't wanna parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is the sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees and your pride! Good thing I didn't like falling. I *loved* it!

Haley Graham: [V.O] Elite gymnastics is like Navy SEALs, only harder. There are like, 2000 Navy SEALs, but there are only like, 200 elite gymnasts. I guess that's because most kids would rather have a life than spend six hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Look, don't be fooled by the leotards, people. The things gymnasts do make Navy SEALs look like wusses. And we do them *without* a gun!

Joanne: [Three good-looking guys walk past them into the arms of some girls] What do they have that we don't have?

Wei Wei Yong: Uh, lives.

Mina Hoyt: Time?

Haley Graham: [Shakes her head] Boobs.

[Mina and Wei Wei look down at their chests]

Haley Graham: [Mina and Wei Wei look at their chests]

Burt Vickerman: [after Haley's first scratch] Way to stick it. Next time you should stick out your tongue, too.

Haley Graham: I would, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks.

Burt Vickerman: You gonna be ready soon?

Haley Graham: Yup.

Burt Vickerman: You gonna hurt yourself?

Haley Graham: Probably.

Burt Vickerman: Just don't get any blood on the equipment.

Haley Graham: [Clicks tongue] Too late!

Haley Graham: [about Joanne] Dude, she's hot.

[Haley and Frank both stare at him]

Haley Graham: What? You don't think she's hot? I think she's hot.

Poot: Dude, she has an apple butt.

Haley Graham: A what?

Poot: An apple butt.

Haley Graham: Stop being so nasty, Joanne.

Joanne: It's not called gym-nice-stics.

Haley Graham: [about the girls Burt picked for the Classics] They just get their spots handed to them? What about the rest of us?

Joanne: I don't like what you're 'instimulating', Haley.

Haley Graham: [Whispers to herself] 'Instimulating'?

Joanne: I have totally earned my spot.

Burt Vickerman: Girls.

Joanne: I'm practically a Dalmatian.

Haley Graham: Dalmatians are born with spots, they don't earn them. Which is exactly my point.

Joanne: Dogs are people, too, Haley!

Burt Vickerman: Very nice, Joanne! Touche!

Joanne: Thank you!

Burt Vickerman: I haven't had four girls qualify for Championships in a long time.

Haley Graham: Define long.

Burt Vickerman: Actually, I haven't had four girls qualify... ever.

Haley Graham: Are you gonna cry?

Burt Vickerman: No, I'm not gonna cry! It's just, it's, it's, it's a nice thing. It's beautiful. Jesus, Hay.

[walks away]

Haley Graham: [Walking after him] What? You can cry. It doesn't make you any less of a man, Vicky! Come on, I won't tell the parents!

Haley Graham: I heard you were strict about diet, but this is just rude.

Burt Vickerman: Hey, you piss where I eat, you don't eat.

Haley Graham: Oh, but you do? Does this mean you're eating my piss? Cause that's disgusting.

Haley Graham: [Making a phone with her hands] Mina, right?

Mina Hoyt: [Makes the phone as well] Yeah, Mina.

Joanne: Mina, put down the phone!

Haley Graham: Can you tell Joanne that I'm gonna take over and do a *real* dismount?

Mina Hoyt: Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She says she's gonna do a real dismount.

Joanne: I heard her, thank you!

Haley Graham: How about a double back?

Burt Vickerman: You will not throw a double back without training it first, Haley!

Haley Graham: Close your eyes.

Burt Vickerman: Over my dead body.

Haley Graham: A little CPR might do you good.

Haley Graham: Haley!

Burt Vickerman: Go get changed, warm up and join vault rotation.

Haley Graham: Uh, sorry. I accidentally burned all my leotards last year. Hope this is okay!

Haley Graham: I'm so jealous of Joanne that I've actually already memorized her preschool beam routine.

Dorrie: Hey, easy. I choreographed that routine.

Dorrie: [Mocking her russian accent] Your secret is safe with me!

Haley Graham: [in response to Vickerman's gold-medal promises to several parents] Yeah, um, you've got a lot of people going to the Olympics. Just curious, what country will they be representing? The state of delusion?

Joanne: So is Frank your, like, boyfriend or something?

Haley Graham: Like, no.

Joanne: Is Poot?

Haley Graham: No.

Joanne: Why not?

Haley Graham: Ew!

Joanne: So they're, like, fair game?

Poot: [Runs up and pushes Haley away] Hey, Stupid.

[to Joanne]

Poot: I prefer the term 'meat', please.

Joanne: That was spastic.

Poot: Thank you. May I accompany you to the jelly beans?

Joanne: You may.

Poot: After you, milady.

Haley Graham: [V.O] There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. God, I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me that we weren't crazy. That we weren't being stupid. Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back. No matter what."

Burt Vickerman: [Haley is walking out on another meet] Haley, don't do this again. Let's go back in there and finish this meet. Come on. Don't bail again! Finish this meet. Finish it for yourself.

Haley Graham: For me? Yeah, you know, you said something about the fact that this was about me. You know, helping me, my freedom. You forgot to tell me about the part you were cashing in on it!

Burt Vickerman: Haley, I meant everything I said. I never lied to you.

Haley Graham: Everything you said was an insurance policy to get those fat checks from my father!

Burt Vickerman: Haley, you're not leaving like this. You're gonna go back in there, finish this meet. Don't make this another Worlds! Don't do it, don't bail!

Haley Graham: You don't know the first thing about Worlds.

Burt Vickerman: All right, fine. I give up. You know, we gave it a shot. I'm gonna talk to your father. Maybe you should go back to Chris DeFrank's.

Haley Graham: Chris DeFrank's? You want me to go back to DeFrank's?

Burt Vickerman: Well, you don't listen to me. You know? Clearly you listened to him long enough for...

Haley Graham: Yeah, long enough to hook up with my mom.

[Whimpers]

Haley Graham: Long enough for him to... rip my family apart.

Burt Vickerman: Oh, hey. When did, when did you find this out?

Haley Graham: Before floor... At Worlds.

Burt Vickerman: Aw, Haley, I... I had no idea. I'm sorry.

Haley Graham: You didn't owe it to me to be a decent coach. You owed it to me to be a decent human being.

Haley Graham: [to Mina and Wei Wei] You're new. You can make a splash. Let it rip.

Mina Hoyt: Let what rip?

Haley Graham: Make the judges look! I'm not talking about putting a cute little smile on your face as if they're doing you a favor. Make them look! If you're gonna eat mat, you're gonna eat mat hard. Don't play it safe. You gotta throw your best tricks as hard as you can.

Haley Graham: If you think I'm getting back on the competition floor with some stupid, watered-down, cookie cutter routine, you are seriously senile!

Burt Vickerman: Have you ever seen anyone blow a knee?

Haley Graham: No.

Burt Vickerman: You wanna keep it that way, or should we have an ambulance on call for you?

Burt Vickerman: [Whispers] Call 'em up!

Burt Vickerman: This is not the real world. This is my world. You don't have to like me or like it here, but you do have to respect it.

[Ivan throws Haley on some mats]

Haley Graham: Respect? Is this how you respect people? I mean, you throw 'em over a shoulder and violate their personal space?

[thumbs up]

Joanne: Vick? When can we scrap the old long-sleeved leotards? We need new ones for Championships. Every college will be scouting me!

[Haley scoffs]

Joanne: Not that *you* have to worry about any of that.

Haley Graham: New leotards might disctract, you know, the judges and scouts from you... lack of talent. It's a solid strategy.

Joanne: Gee, *Pariah* Carey, I wonder why no one's scouting you. Oh, I forgot! You don't matter!

[Walks away]

Haley Graham: [to Burt] That she can even say the word 'college' is an indictment against the whole institution.

Burt Vickerman: Hey, filibuster, no one cares.

Joanne: You know boys?

Haley Graham: Yes. They're called 'friends'. You should try it sometime.

Haley Graham: [Ivan has thrown her over his shoulder forcibly] Put me down, Shrek!

Haley Graham: [Spying on Haley practicing bars] Can you imagine making it all the way to Worlds and walking out? It's totally insane.

Wei Wei Yong: I heard she was tanking her double pikes in warm-ups. I think she just choked.

Haley Graham: I can hear you! and I'll kill you!

[the girls slink behind a stack of mats]

Burt Vickerman: [Haley does a skill and tumbles on her landing] Shall we share out philosophy with Haley, ladies? Speak my mind. What are we about?

Joanne, Mina Hoyt, Wei Wei Yong, Devon, Lacey, Brooke: Clean, safe routines, guaranteed to stick.

Haley Graham: [Gags] Is he keeping your brains in jars? Or should I be concerned about the water?

Haley Graham: Listen, I'll stay on one condition.

Burt Vickerman: Oh, this I gotta hear. Does it involve you and self-imposed silence?

Frank: Hey guys? I have a gut feeling something bad's gonna happen.

Haley Graham: What?

Poot: What do you mean, dude?

[Frank farts]

Poot: Oh, dude! keep it over there!

[He and Haley stick their heads out the window]

Poot: Why do girls wear so much glitter and clippage in their hair? I mean, that is some uptight friggin' hair, right?

Frank: And how do those leotards not ride up their butts?

Poot: Oh, yeah.

Haley Graham: Tuff-Skin.

Frank: Aw. They have ass calluses?

Haley Graham: No. It's just this sticky stuff you spray on your butt so the leotard doesn't ride up.

Poot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I get that job? I wanna be Tuff-Skin.

Frank: Hey. What would happen if you put some of that Tuff-Skin stuff, on tough skin?

Poot: Your head would stick to your butt.

Frank: Why would my head stick to my butt?

Poot: Cause your head's already up there! Ahh!

Haley Graham: Don't worry, Frank. My head's up my butt, too. Far.

Burt Vickerman: You're popping your clutch, losing traction.

Haley Graham: I'm not popping shit.

Burt Vickerman: Are you sure?

Haley Graham: I'm so sure I'm practically deodorant.

Haley Graham: [V.O] The only reason I'm doing these tricks is because somebody somewhere said "I don't care if this is nuts, and I don't care if it hurts. I'm doing it. I'm gonna climb this insanely high mountain. Watch me". And when you're the first to climb a new mountain in gymnastics, they name it after you. A Geinger. A Rulfova. A Tchusovitina. A Shaposhnikova. They all rocked. And we salute you.

Joanne: [Yawns at Tricia's mind-numbing beam routine] Is this how you feel when you watch my routines?

Haley Graham: Uh, yeah.

Joanne: I am *so* sorry.

Haley Graham: [V.O. She's running from the police] This isn't the first time I've made out with law enforcement. We've kinda had this ongoing flirtation. We've been on some dates. You know, broken up, got back together. But honestly, until now, I haven't been ready for anything steady.

Officer Ferguson: [Over the speaker] You're pushing it, Haley.

Haley Graham: But you know, people change. And I felt like maybe I was ready for a more serious courtship.

[Scene changes to Haley in front of a judge]

Haley Graham: Meet the court.

Judge Westreich: Haley, I leave it to you to decide. Where would you like to go?

Haley Graham: Texas Military Academy, Your Honor.

Judge Westreich: VGA, is it.

Haley Graham: What?

[Gavel slams]

Brice Graham: You used to be such a good kid.

Haley Graham: That's so interesting. You used to be a good dad. Guess we're even.

Haley Graham: [Kicks open the doors to the old, vacant gym at VGA] Anybody home? Anybody care?

Haley Graham: [V.O] V... G... A. Otherwise known as the Vickerman Gymnastics Academy. There's only one thing worse than having no control over your life. It's being forced to live it with people who hate you. And I was suddenly the filling in the middle of an 'I-Hate-You' sandwich. Meet the bread.

Burt Vickerman: [Watching over the practice] Ladies, read my mind. Read my mind, ladies.

Haley Graham: Burt Vickerman *used* to whip up the best gymnasts west of the Mississippi. That is, until his gym started producing more injuries than champions. We'd never met, and I'd been hoping to keep it that way.

Burt Vickerman: Is my mind saying 'relax'? Maybe you can read my mind, and it's completely lost. Have I lost my mind? Is that why you're staring off into space?

[Sees Haley]

Burt Vickerman: Ah. Join us.

Joanne: What is *she* doing here?

Haley Graham: Joanne Charis. Four time National Team member. Five time National Haley-Hater. Why all the hate? Well, when you walk out on Worlds and lose Team USA some team gold, it's not personal. It's national. And in the world of gymnastics, hating me was practically a sport, in and of itself.

Mina Hoyt: We're warming up Yourchenkos.

Haley Graham: Super. I'm going for a 'Butt-ahara'.

Devon: You mean a Tsukahara?

Haley Graham: No, I mean a 'Butt-ahara'.

Haley Graham: [Claps sarcastically as Joanne finishes her beam routine] Wow.

Joanne: Deja jealous, Haley? Bring back memories? We trained together at DeFrank's for how long?

Haley Graham: That would be... *too* long.

Joanne: And he'd give you so much attention because... you sucked.

Haley Graham: [laughs] Right. Yeah, I *sucked* my way to Worlds. Glad to see you haven't lost your love of accuracy, Joanne.

Joanne: Well, at least I didn't make it all the way to Worlds and um,

[Gags]

Joanne: choke.

Haley Graham: Here. Let me show you how, you little...

[Starts choking Joanne]

Burt Vickerman: Listen, I don't suppose college gymnastics is on your To-Do list, right?

Haley Graham: Correct. College gymnastics is one big fat To-Don't.

Poot: Juvie, huh? You call this juvie?

Haley Graham: Okay, trust me, Poot. This is hard time, okay? He's crazy.

Burt Vickerman: Okay, boys, time to go.

Frank: We're cool, man. Thanks.

Haley Graham: Come on. I mean, even prisons have visiting hours.

Burt Vickerman: Yeah, and they're scaring the, the mini-vans out of the moms next door.

Frank: Please, those mommies were totally hitting on us.

Poot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hitting on *us*? Mommies and *me*, dude. Mommies and *me*.

Burt Vickerman: It's the devil's candy, boys. Trust me. Say good-bye.

Haley Graham: I'm not the one selling tickets to the Olympic podium, Burt.

Haley Graham: [about the judges] Whatever you do, don't picture them naked. It's really gross.

Wei Wei Yong: Too late!

Joanne: [Trying to sabatoge the Mina and Wei Wei] You know, I would be nervous if I were you, too. The judge on the end is a tumbling tyrant. You even *think* about under rotating, she'll deduct. I know. The one next to her? Obsessive compulsive about handstands. I'm talking hit your vertical or die, ladies. And please, please for me, watch out for the vault dick on the end. If you don't stick it, you pretty much don't exist. Am I right, Haley?

Haley Graham: [Walks up] You still pimping that speech?

Joanne: I don't know what you're talking about.

[Walks away]

Haley Graham: [Leaving for the Classic] Wait! Do you have a license to practice gymnastics?

Burt Vickerman: It was revoked. Get it.

Alice Graham: I need to talk to you about coming back and training with Chris. Doesn't look good having you training with somebody else.

Haley Graham: [Scoffs] No.

Alice Graham: Hey, hey, hey. You owe Chris some respect.

Haley Graham: I don't respect people who don't respect me.

Alice Graham: And I suppose you think Burt Vickerman respects you?

Haley Graham: Yeah, actually. I do.

Alice Graham: The only thing Burt Vickerman respects is money. He cares about cash and cashing in. And if your daddy hadn't paid him off, you'd be sitting at Texas Military Academy right now.

Haley Graham: What do you mean, 'Paid him off'? Everybody there pays.

Alice Graham: Your daddy called every elite gym in the country; nobody wanted you. Honey, your dad is paying four times what every other girl there is paying.

[Haley turns to walk away]

Alice Graham: You thought he was on your side? He only has one side. His.

Haley Graham: [V.O] It's the same old Championships, but I am a totally different person. And even though I'm pretty sure I'll be judged for who I was and not who I am, I know I have to face this. Four events and four judges per event. That's sixteen judges ready to tell us just how badly we suck. Sixteen people ready to tell us just how perfect we're not. But here we are, chasing perfection. The problem is, perfection doesn't exist. But just try telling *that* to the judges.

Mina Hoyt: Oh, my god. I'm the new vault champ!

Joanne: I know! And I loved not going! I mean, if we chose the winner on every event, we could actually control the results for once.

Haley Graham: Oh my God, you're right! Since when are you brilliant?

Joanne: I don't know. Since now?

Haley Graham: [about colleges scouting her] Maybe I should just tell 'em to stick it.

Burt Vickerman: Oh, yeah. Like you know how to stick it.

Haley Graham: Uh, my feet were glued!

Burt Vickerman: Yeah, to a high speed bus!

Haley Graham: You're the one that told me to floor it!

Burt Vickerman: [laughs] Yeah, you floored it, all right!

Haley Graham: [V.O] As we got our totally fake first place medals, I realized. Gymnastics wasn't there to judge me, or diss me. Only I could do that. I couldn't look back and think it was about the judges or the parents or the coaches at all. It was about us. And for us. And that felt totally first place real to me.

Haley Graham: [V.O] It doesn't matter how hard we run, or how high we flip. Leave your hands on the vault table too long? Deduction. If you use one arm instead of two, big deduction. And if your feet clip the vault before they hit the floor... You're done. So you say you want lyrics in your floor music? *Huge* deduction. Music finishes, but you don't? Two tenths deduction. It doesn't matter how well you do. It's how well you follow *their* rules. And that just blows.

Haley Graham: [Pulls Tricia aside] Tricia. I didn't mean to wreck your Worlds. Mine was disintegrating, and I wrote you a note apologizing. I don't know if you

[Tricia walks away]

Haley Graham: got it or not.

Haley Graham: [after Nastia does an amazing skill on bars] I'm so glad we picked her! I'm so glad we picked her!

Burt Vickerman: Picked her?

Burt Vickerman: [Before her final floor performance] I just want you to know...

Haley Graham: What?

Burt Vickerman: That, uh... I'm so, uh...

Haley Graham: Don't.

Burt Vickerman: No, no, no, no, no. I'm so... proud to be your coach. Now don't you dare hold back. And floor it.