Hale Caesar Quotes in The Expendables 3 (2014)

Hale Caesar: 'Bout time you boys showed up!

[from trailer]

Hale Caesar: Time to mow the lawn!

Hale Caesar: [wreaks havoc with a mini-gun]

Pilar: Who you are?

Barney Ross: We're Americans.

Lee Christmas: Since when?

Gunner Jensen: Swedish.

Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.

Maggie: Chinese.

Toll Road: Retards.

Barney Ross: [to Toll Road] You done?

Trench: I need a weapon. Something big.

[looks at Caesar's gun]

Trench: Yours.

Hale Caesar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.

Barney Ross: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.

[Caesar reluctantly hands over his gun]

Hale Caesar: If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench: In your dreams.

Toll Road: [eating some bad food] Oh. This tastes like shit.

[to Caesar]

Toll Road: How's yours?

Hale Caesar: Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? One choice.

Toll Road: One choice?

Hale Caesar: It'd probably be cereal for you, huh?

Toll Road: What the hell's wrong with cereal?

Gunner Jensen: It's cliché.

Hale Caesar: You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.

Toll Road: For the record, my hearing is 20/20.

Hale Caesar: Barney?

Barney Ross: Donuts and most food that kills ya.

Hale Caesar: That's deep, man.

Barney Ross: [chuckles] You think so?

Hale Caesar: Maggie?

Maggie: Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce. Very sexy.

[short pause]

Maggie: But I like Italian, too.

Hale Caesar: I'm starting to think Italian's overrated.

[everyone laughs]

Gunner Jensen: Hey. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be, baby seal, and whale ass, in the summer.

[to Maggie]

Gunner Jensen: But I'd really die for some Chinese.

Barney Ross: Then you're gonna starve to death.

[everyone laughs]

Lee Christmas, Barney Ross, Gunner Jensen, Hale Caesar, Toll Road: Beware, beware, walk with care / Care for what you do / Or mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Boom-lay, boom-lay, boom-lay boom!

Hale Caesar: [driving around abandoned war-torn streets] This is weird.

Gunner Jensen: It's like home.

Gunner Jensen: [the bomb's fuse goes out] Well, the phosphorus must have been damp.

Lee Christmas: Yeah, right.

Toll Road: Or you suck.

Hale Caesar: There's that.

Maggie: Don't cry, Gunner.

Barney Ross: You almost had an idea.

Hale Caesar: Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Hale Caesar: Great, they got a small army. What have we got?

[looks at Yin Yang]

Hale Caesar: Four and a half men.

[Everyone but Yin Yang laughs]

Yin Yang: Not so funny.

Barney Ross: What the hell's he doing?

Lee Christmas: Hanging a pirate.

Barney Ross: Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?

Gunnar Jensen: Hanging a pirate!

Toll Road: That's seriously demented.

Yin Yang: This is no good.

Hale Caesar: Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.

Hale Caesar: [after taking out a number of soldiers while his team is behind cover] Remember this shit at Christmas!

Hale Caesar: [holding his AA-12 shotgun] You know, the enemy's always been terrified of noise, especially shotguns. With this big boy spitting out 250 rounds a minute, you tell me who's tolerating that. Absolutely zero.

Hale Caesar: What happened to you?

Barney Ross: I got my ass kicked.

Lee Christmas: What's he saying?

Hale Caesar: He said we're dead with an accent.

Barney Ross: We ain't dead.

Hale Caesar: [Discussing his weapon with Toll Road] You know what? I trust you. I want you to meet my girlfriend.

[Pulls out an improvised shotgun shell]

Hale Caesar: Omya Kaboom.

[shows Toll Road a miniature warhead]

Hale Caesar: When Omya's prime is struck, she gets off a miniature warhead that arms itself. And when that happens, anything that gets in my lady's way becomes instant red sauce and Jell-O. And if that doesn't work...

[leans over and pulls out a straight razor]

Hale Caesar: ...her sister will.

Pirate leader: I'll kill them all! I don't care.

Hale Caesar: There are more fools in this world than people. So back off, cuz.

Pirate leader: You back off! Huh?

Hale Caesar: You know, you're gonna be dead anyway. So I'm gonna shut up.

Hale Caesar: [Yang is all shaken up from his fight with Gunnar] What happened to you?

Yin Yang: It's too sad to talk about.