Hailey Quotes in Men in Black II (2002)


Hailey Quotes:

  • Newton: A neuralize...

    [Agent J neuralizes Newton]

    Agent J: Ok. First, get some contact lenses, cause those jaunts look like they could pick up cable. Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner. Pay more than a dollar. Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, move your bum ass outta your mom's house. Boy, you like forty years old.

    Kevin Brown/K: Agent J?

    Agent J: Aight! Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black.

    [J leaves]

    NewtonHailey: You wanna go to Cambodia?

    Hailey: Yeah.

    Newton: Hey, Mom?

    [Newton picks up a shovel]

  • Newton: [to Hailey] There's a huge rat in the toilet, it's all stopped up so you're gonna have to pee in the sink...

    [spots agents J & K]

    Newton: Gentlemen! Seen any... aliens lately?

    Agent K: Son, you need professional help.

    Hailey: He's getting it, it's not working.

  • Newton's Mother: [from downstairs] Newton! What are you doing up there?

    Newton: I'm up in my room with some friends, Mom!

    Hailey: I want to have your baby.

  • Denise: Oh, my God... Peter's got a boyfriend!

    Hailey: And I don't.

    Denise: Oh God, why does everything have to be about you?

    Hailey: Because I'm single.

  • Hailey: And I know there's a reason why everybody wants it so much.

    Aquamarine: And what's that?

    Hailey: It's the closest thing we have to magic.

  • Aquamarine: Let's go find Raymond!


    Aquamarine: [she runs off]

    Hailey: Wait! You need shoes!

    Claire: And undies!

  • Marjorie: You're never going to get a tan wearing all of those clothes!

    Hailey: Or Skin Cancer.

    Patty: Please, we don't even smoke!

  • Hailey: I just want you to know, if Leonard comes in here and chops us up into a million pieces, that you are totally, completely, and eternally my best friend.

    Claire: You're my best friend, too.

    Hailey: And I broke your ipod.

    [Claire shoves Hailey, then they both start giggling]

    Hailey: [the door opens]

    [Hailey & Claire scream]

    Grandma Maggie: [walks in through the door in a raincoat] What are you girls doing out here in this weather?

  • Aquamarine: Her dad makes the weather?

    Claire: No, he just reports it.

    Aquamarine: And she's a princess?

    Hailey: No, just a royal bitch.

  • Aquamarine: You have to help me make him love me.

    HaileyClaire: No way!

    Hailey: He's way too popular! You should pick someone else.

    Claire: She right. I mean all the girls are after him. Even a few boys.

  • Hailey: O Gods of hurricanes, makers of thunder and lightning and majestical waves. Useth your power to keep my mom from moving to Austrailia. Maketh her to see the error of her ways, and keepeth us in Baybridge!

    [Grabs popcorn box, picks out a piece, and throws it over her shoulder]

    Hailey: Amen.

    Claire: You're insane!

    Hailey: That's what they tell me!

    [Hailey laughs evilly]

  • Aquamarine: [excited] First time on land, first time with legs. Can you believe it?.

    Hailey: [sarcastically] Oh, you'd never know.

  • Hailey: [walking past Leonard with Claire] he knows what you did last summer!

  • Hailey: We begin where every girl starts with her first crush - we call him.

    Aquamarine: Call him? What? What?. No, I can't. What am I supposed to say to him?

    Hailey: Nothing. We just call and hang up. We do it all the time.

    Aquamarine: Why?

    Hailey: I don't know. It's just what you do.

  • Hailey: When you find love, I guess it's really beautiful. I mean, that's what I've read in magazines.

  • Hailey: Maybe we could wish for something else?

    Claire: Something else, like what, like a new best friend? A new person to tell everything to.

    Hailey: Claire - don't...

    Claire: How could you even think that way?

    Hailey: I mean, maybe we could learn to stand on our own for a change...

    Claire: You mean me don't you.

    Hailey: I mean, I'm not your mom.

    Claire: You think I need you all the time, when the truth is, you're so mad at the world, that nobody but me even wants to talk to you.

    Hailey: Oh, so you're the one who's lived here your whole life. How do you figure I'm your only friend?

    Hailey: [Hailey then goes]

  • Claire: [about why they can't get Ray's attention] Well, all these articles say we've been way too available. We need to be more coy.

    Hailey: We are so coy, he barely knows we exist.

  • Hailey: Who ordered "broom" service?

  • Hailey: [to Claire] How do you figure that I'm your only friend?

Browse more character quotes from Men in Black II (2002)