Gwen Anderson Quotes in Eating Out (2004)

[Joey states he might be just a little bit gay, so Gwen tests him]

Gwen Anderson: Can you list any tracks on Madonna's "Like a Prayer" album?

Joey: [going quickly] Um, "Express Yourself," "Cherish," "Oh Father..."

Gwen Anderson: "Vogue?"

Joey: No, honey, "Vogue" was on "Dick Tracy."

Gwen Anderson: It's not a fucking phase! You're a full-fledged homo!

Gwen Anderson: [to Caleb's parents] You know, you guys seem really nice.

Marc: Oh, my God. Gwen, don't.

Gwen Anderson: Caleb, honey, I'm gonna do you a really big favor.

Kyle: Oh, shit.

Gwen Anderson: You'll hate me now but you'll love me later.

Marc: Gwen, please.

Kyle: Shit.

Gwen Anderson: Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, your son is gay.

Jamie Peterson: [punching Caleb's arm] Fag, you're it!

Tiffani: I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.

Jamie Peterson: No fag-backs.

[as she has sex with Caleb]

Gwen Anderson: Eat it, little gay boy!

Gwen Anderson: You never mentioned Tiffani.

Susan Petersoon: Tiffani was a bitch.

Jamie Peterson: I liked her.

Frank Peterson: She was cute.

[while sketching Troy in class]

Tiffani: [drooling] I wanna hit that harder than Ike hit Tina.

Kyle: [ditto] I wanna be wrapped in his arms forever and ever.

Gwen Anderson: I wanna see him get it on with his boyfriend.

Kyle: You think he's gay?

Gwen Anderson: Does Whitney want crack?

Gwen Anderson: Oh, don't even think you're breaking up with me. I'm breaking up with you.

Shane: Huh?

Gwen Anderson: I've sat in millions of bedrooms and listened to millions of boys tell me they're leaving me for the poll. I'm not gonna sit here and have one leave me for pussy.

Shane: What!

Gwen Anderson: I'm leaving you, Shane! Go NOT suck all the dick ya want!

Kyle: Hey, I'm a catch.

Gwen Anderson: Says who, your mom?

Marc: Gwen was my last girlfriend.

Gwen Anderson: And Marc was my first. After him, all I ever wanted to date were fags.