Guy Quotes in The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

Boy: Did you rob that liquor store in Galveston?

Binx: Yep, that was us.

Billie Jean: We did not.

Guy: What about that school in Laredo? You burn it down?

Binx: No way, guy. We don't do schools.

Guy: By the way, who're you waitin' for anyway?

Girl: I'm waitin' for Dolemite!

Guy: For who?

Dolemite: Dolemite, motherfucker, ya heard?

Reverend Mother: How does it feel to be the last man on Earth?

Guy: How does it feel to be the ugliest thing around?

[Ted enters the New York Comic-Con and bumps into Guy, who is dressed as The Tick]

Guy: Hey, Ted!

Ted: Guy?

Guy: I thought that was you. What's happening, man? Hey Rick! It is Ted.

[Rick appears, dressed as Lt. Worf]

Rick: Hey, how are you doin'?

Ted: Hey, what's going on?

Guy: What are you doing here?

Ted: [sighs] You know, I just feel at home among the outcasts. What are you guys doing here?

Guy: Well, you know, uh, Rick and I, we just come here as a gag.

Rick: Yeah. Dress up like we're into this shit and fuck with the nerds.

[Guy stops a guest passing by]

Ted: Hey, spaz. Uh, why don't you go get me some Big League Chew. How about that, huh?

[Guy gives the guest a wedgie. He and Rick laugh as the guest runs away]

Ted: Ha-ha. All right, well, good luck with your dick, there.

[noticing the bulge on Guy's costume before walking away]

Guy: Right on. You too, man.

[Guy looks at his hands]

Guy: Goddammit, that underwear had shit on it!

[Guy throws his soda at a black guest wearing glasses]

Guy: Thirsty, Urkel?

[looks at Rick]

Guy: I fuckin' love this place.

[Donny and Jessup leave the Hasbro panel with an unconscious Ted]

Donny: Come on, there's an empty supply room downstairs.

Tom Jessup: Is that him?

Donny: Uh, yeah, there was an issue, so he's unconscious now. This is him.

Tom Jessup: Jesus! Why did you bring him here?

Donny: Well, I've been following him around since yesterday. This was the only chance I could get him alone. I had to move fast.

[Guy and Rick appear behind them]

Guy: Hey, Ted!

[Donny and Jessup turn around]

Guy: Is that you?

Donny: Uh, yeah, he had a little too much to drink. He puked a pile of cotton all over this little girl in a, in a stroller, so we're gonna take him back and sober him up.

Guy: [pointing at them] Ah, rock on, Ted.

Donny: [pointing back] Eff yeah.

[Donny and Jessup proceed down the hallway]

Rick: Hey guys, be careful out there. Some nerd spilled his lunch.

[Guy trips a Starfleet Redshirt cosplayer]

Guy: Hey, watch that floor. Comes up fast, man.

Guy: Hey, check it out. Nerd fight.

Guy: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful tiger. She lived in a cave with the rest of her family. Her father and mother told her: "You may go anywhere you want, but never go near the cliff, for you could fall."

Grug: And fall. Good story.

Guy: But when no one was looking, she go near the cliff, for the closer she came to the edge, the more could she hear, the more could she see, the more she could feel. Finally, she stood at the very edge. She saw a light. She leaned out to touch it... and she slipped.

Grug: And she fell.

Guy: And she flew.

Thunk: Where did she fly?

Guy: Tomorrow.

Eep: Tomorrow?

Guy: A place with more suns in the sky than you can count.

Thunk: It would be so bright!

Guy: A place not like today, or yesterday. A place where things are better.

Grug: Tomorrow isn't a place. It's-it's-it... Ugh! You can't see it!

Guy: Oh, yes, yes it is. I've seen it. That's where I'm going.

Grug: What is this stuff that saves you from my punches?

Guy: Tar.

Grug: No!

Guy: Please...

Grug: I have to get back to them.

Guy: Stop struggling!

Grug: No!

Guy: Grug, STOP! No one gets out of this. Believe me... I know.

Grug: Your...

Guy: Family. Yeah.

Grug: Sorry.

Guy: I was little when it happened. Last thing my parents told me was: "Don't hide. Live. Follow the sun. You'll make it to Tomorrow."

Grug: You followed the light. My daughter is a lot like you.

Guy: No. She's like you. She loves you, but always forgets to say it. Just like you forget to tell her.

Grug: No more dark. No more hiding. No more caves. What's the point of all this? To follow the light. I can't change. I don't have ideas. But I have my strength. And right now, that's all you need.

Ugga: No, we don't know what's over there. Maybe nothing! It's too risky!

Grug: It's a chance.

Guy: I'll take that chance.

Grug: You know, I've wanted to throw you away ever since I met you.

Guy: Heh. That's a joke, right?

Grug: [jokingly] What's a "joke"?

[throws him over to the other cliff]

Guy: You're really heavy.

Eep: [flattered] Really? Thank you!

Eep: Hey, do you have a minute? How did the tiger fly?

Guy: I only share when I'm outside the log. I'm funny that way.

Eep: So how did the tiger fly?

Guy: She jumped on the sun. Rode it to tomorrow.

Guy: Okay, open them. I call them shoes.

Eep: [Opens her eyes and screams in panic and excitement] I *LOVE* them! Where are my feet!

Guy: Don't worry! They're still there.

Guy: [Referring to Belt] Don't eat him! He will cut you! He's a pet! My pet!

Gran: What's a "pet"?

Guy: It's an animal you don't eat.

Gran: Ha! We call those "children".

Ugga: [Wearing a wig] Honey, what's that on your head?

Gran: It's called desperation.

Grug: I call it a rug. Rhymes with Grug.

[points to boulder]

Grug: And this is a ride. Also rhymes with Grug.

Guy: That doesn't rhyme.

Guy: I can't believe your family has never seen rain!

Eep: We don't get out much.

Grug: I guess I was just busy keeping them all alive.

Guy: It's okay. That's what dads do.

Grug: That's right! But we can't do that from here. We need one of your ideas. Come on, you can do it.

Guy: Belt! Emergency Idea Generator, activate!

[Belt hits him in the head with a rock]

Guy: OW! Ooh! I've got it!

Grug: Don't. It could be dangerous.

Eep: Dad, you always say that.

Guy: Careful.

Eep: Oh, okay.

[Grug sighs in exasperation]

Guy: I can help you, but we're gonna have to make a few changes around here. The log ride is over. Drop the log.

[Grug drops the log]

Guy: Now, kick it away.

[Grug kicks it one feet away]

Guy: Farther.

[Grug roars out of frustration and kicks the log so far it goes into the horizon, fading out of sight]

Guy: Really?

Guy: [watching Grug and Thunk "hunting"] What're they doing?

Eep: Hunting

Guy: No seriously, what're they doing?

Guy: Stay here if you want, but let me go! I've got a dream! A mission! A reason to live!

Eep: Not anymore!

Gran: What's a *pet*?

Guy: It's an animal you don't eat.

Gran: We call those *children*.

Eep: Hi fire.

Guy: [laughing] It's not actually alive.

Eep: But you said it was dying.

Guy: [pause] Sorry.

Guy: You're being irrational and counter-productive!

Grug: Big words make me angry, c'mon, keep talking.

Guy: [sees Eep watching Grug and Thunk hunt] You look tense.

Eep: [in denial] I'm not tense

Guy: Your call, Grug.

Grug: Take us to Tomorrow.

Guy: Now, shake it! Come on!

[Rachel scowls]

Lil: Don't do it, Rach. He's a big guy and you're still on probation.

Rachel: Don't worry, those classes are really paying off!

[slams the back of her fist into the guy's face]

Lenny: "Skitch", how did we get here?

Guy: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.

Faye: Was she a good kisser?

Guy: Yeah.

Faye: Yeah?

Guy: It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.

Faye: Gentleman. I'd forgotten what you fellas looked like.

Guy: Hey, Uncle Bob, when are we gonna get these records?

Uncle Bob: [thinks] Ah... Luke 21:19.

The Bass Player: And your patience possess ye your souls.

Lenny: Luke? Who's Luke? When are we gettin' the records?

Uncle Bob: Wednesday.

Guy: If Jimmy's a genius, I'm U Thant.

The Bass Player: Who's U Thant?

Guy: He's the Secre... forget it.

[Asked whether his shades are prescription or just to look cool]

Guy: Well, I am the drummer.

Mr. White: He was joining the Marines in August anyway. It was gonna happen sooner or later. Guys, say hello to Scott Pell, Wolfman.

Jimmy: How you doing?

Guy: Uh, replacement?

Mr. White: Yes.

Jimmy: Who's he player with?

Mr. White: The Techniques, uh...

Scott 'Wolfman' Pell: Roy Maxwell and the Corsairs.

Lenny: Ha-ha... really?

Mr. White: He's your new bass player.

Guy: Mr. White... no offense, but I... we've been together a long time.

Mr. White: There aren't a lot of options here, Guy.

Guy: Can he handle our tunes?

Scott 'Wolfman' Pell: I think I can handle them, junior.

[plays some wicked bass licks]

Jimmy: Ok.

Lenny: Ok.

Guy: Fine.

Guy: Yeah, we were pretty wild up in Erie, Penn.

Lenny: There was this one time, we stayed up *way* past midnight, and...

[starts laughing]

Faye: But I thought you already decided on The Echoes.

Jimmy: Nah, some band in Buffalo's the Echoes. And I wasn't wild about that.

Lenny: Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear.

Chad: How about The Corvettes?

Jimmy: Is that The Corvettes, or the Chordvettes?

Chad: No, Corvettes, like the car.

Jimmy: Well see, I was thinking like the Chord...

[writes Chordvettes]

Jimmy: *Chord*vettes, like chords in our music.

Lenny: [Guy walks in] Is that "Skitch" Patterson?

Chad: Here he is, Erie's lone beatnik.

The Bass Player: How about the Tempos? Ya know, tempos?

Lenny: Not the Tempos, Tempos. I was in a band already called The Tempos, and we were... terrible.

Chad: Hey Guy, weren't you the drummer for the Tempos?

Guy: Heard that.

Jimmy: We were wondering if you'd like to fill in for Chad just for tonight.

Guy: Why?

Lenny: Asshole... just broke his arm!

[starts laughing]

Guy: I hadn't played in front of people in so long, so I was nervous, but it sounds better fast. Jimmy wanted it slow, but he was wrong, it's an up-tempo number. And we won!

Phil Horace: [after the mantinee at Orpheum] Guy, I keep telling you, you are the drummer. The backbone, the timekeeper. You can't let a tepid reaction from one matinee house affect your dedication to the band.

Guy: I was playing like one of those little wind-up monkey toys. They booed us off the stage, Phil! Jimmy couldn't even hear how off-key he was.

Phil Horace: You're gonna get it all back tonight, I promise you.

Guy: [first lines; phone rings at Patterson's] Patterson's.

Mr. Patterson: What's going on down there?

Guy: Dad?

Mr. Patterson: Harriet Priestly just called your mama. Her husband drove by the store and said the lights are still on. What are the lights still doing on?

Guy: Cookin' the books as usual, Dad.

Mr. Patterson: The sign, Guy, the sign is still on. Are we open for business all night now?

Guy: No. Sorry, I'll uh, turn that right off.

Mr. Patterson: Is that music playing on one of them store hi-fis?

Guy: I'll turn that right off, too.

Mr. Patterson: [mimicking] 'Turn that off, too.'

Mr. White: [after Jimmy leaves the studio after the Hollywood Television Showcase] Jimmy just quit. Your band is falling apart, Guy. Where's Lenny?

Guy: I have no idea.

Guy: [trying to call the Bass Player to bring him back to the TV studio] Now I've left 50 messages!

Guy: [hangs up] WHERE THE HELL IS HE?

Guy: Hey, Lamarr. Is there any place around here with really good jazz?

Lamarr: [skeptical] Oh, you want good jazz? GOOD jazz? Lemme ask you a question. Who played cornet for Jacques St. Claire on "Vital Stats"?

Guy: Scotty MacDonald.

Lamarr: Get in the cab. GET in the CAB.

[to driver]

Lamarr: Take this young man to the Blue Spot.

Guy: He's been going out for four years. My longest relationship was, like, six months, and then she farted in her sleep. I'm like: I'm out of here, man, and I was gone before she woke up.

[Garth plays an astonishing drum solo in the music store]

Guy: You are like... amazing... dude.

Garth Algar: Thanks. I like to play.

Guy: [after watching Adam walk to Emma's room naked] Yup, I'm definitely gay.

Adam: I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle. This is very exciting. Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.

Shira: Nice memorization. Did you Google that?

Adam: I may have. Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Oh...

[takes out a CD]

Adam: I also made you this.

[hands it to Emma]

Adam: To help soothe your womb.

Patrice: It's a mix!..."Even Flow." "Red, Red Wine."

Shira: "Sunday Bloody Sunday"?

Emma: Adam. You made me... a period mix?

Guy: That's so romantic!

Patrice: Frank Sinatra, "I've Got the World on a String"!

Adam: It's a classic.

Guy: I love it when we're all on the same cycle. We all get to be passive-aggressive and fight.

Patrice: You are not even a woman.

Adam: [to Shira] Listen, I want you to know that I respect you.

Shira: Thank you!

Adam: Normally I would remember the name of someone that I've

Shira: [interrupts] What? Oh my God. Did you think we had sex? We did not have sex!

Guy: Hey Adam. You left your socks in my room.

Adam: Did I?

Guy: You did.

Adam: Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?

Guy: No. When we met you weren't wearing pants.

Hannigan: There have been worse politicians than him.

Guy: I know. And I got them elected.

Girl: Can you sign a copy of your book for me? I got it on eBay.

Uncle Ben: They sell my shit on eBay?

Guy: You wrote a book?

Uncle Ben: Yeah. That was back when I was drinking.

Guy: [after throwing Guy's TV set into the canal] It floats!

Stephane: Yeah, it floats.

Guy: Now the fish can watch crappy shows from below.

Guy: Are you interested in Martine ?

Stephane: Martine from work ?

Guy: No, Martin Scorsese.

[giving advice to Stéphane in a ski dream]

Serge: Stéphane, talk with the heart!

Martine: Yeah, be gentle!

Guy: Fuck her!

Guy: fuck, an artist, he'll never last

Buddy: What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that shit isn't going to work around here.

Guy: I, I just thought...

Buddy: You thought. Do me a fucking favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.

Buddy: Get me packed up, I gotta get to services.

Guy: What services? Who died?

Buddy: No one... yet. It's Yom Kippur, you idiot.

Guy: Oh, I didn't realize Ackerman was a Jewish name.

Buddy: It's Jewish enough, especially when the big players are involved. Besides, I have a sudden need to atone for my sins.

[chuckles]

Dawn: How about lunch?

Guy: Well, I'm not allowed to take lunch, Buddy doesn't believe in it.

Buddy: You wanna talk big directors? Think Attenborough, think Spielberg, think Lean.

Guy: Lean's dead.

Buddy: No he's not, don't you ever say that. He's just unavailable.

Guy: That's a bagel stain.

Dawn: Bagel stain?

Guy: I put too much cream cheese on Buddy's bagel and he threw it at me. But I learned a very valuable lesson... never put too much cream cheese on Buddy's bagel.

Guy: I've handled the phones, I've juggled the bimbos, I, I've put up with the tyrants, the yellers, the screamers. I've done more than you can even imagine in that small mind of yours. I paid my dues!

Guy: I didn't spend *one year*...

Buddy: and I spent ten!

[Buddy has just chewed Guy out for giving him a packet of Equal when he asked for Sweet 'N' Low]

Guy: Fuck! Fuck! That's it, I'm screwed. It's over.

Rex: Ah, relax. He always does that. That's his thing. Tomorrow, he'll ask you for an Equal. You can't win. It's a lose-lose situation. The trick is to have everything ready.

Dawn: Let me ask you a question: why do you want this?

Guy: I don't know. It's just something I've always wanted to do.

Dawn: Oh bullshit. Is it the money? There are easier ways to get rich. Girls? I'll float you a twenty and give you a number to call right now. Why the movies?

Cleon Salmon: Who is Guy... Meatdrapes? What kind of name is that?

Guy: It's, um, it's Metdrapedes, sir. It's Greek.

Cleon Salmon: I think you're pronouncing it wrong. This says Meatdrapes.

Guy: It's actually pronounced Metdrapedes.

Cleon Salmon: Well, why doesn't it sound like that when I say it? Meatdrapes.

Cleon Salmon: Well, if a trip to the Bahamas ain't gonna get the molasses out your asses, maybe $10,000 will do the trick. That's right, new prize. Top waiter leaves here tonight with ten grand in his pocket. You know what ten grand feels like in your pocket? It feels like a third cock.

Guy: Ha! Jesus, how many cocks you got, Champ?

Cleon Salmon: Are you lampooning me, Meatdrapes?

Guy: Of course not, sir.

Cleon Salmon: Do you want a punch in the eye, Guy?

Guy: No, please.

Cleon Salmon: I can make your face look like a pie, Guy.

Guy: Oh God, no.

Cleon Salmon: [the Champ throws several feints at Guy's face, then accidentally punches him in the stomach] Excuse me, I didn't mean to do that.

The John: I am gonna stuff it in your ass tonight.

The Escort: Whoa, that's gonna be an extra fifty bucks.

The John: That's okay, shellfish makes me horny.

The Escort: Good, 'cause I got crabs.

The John: [scratches beard] Who doesn't?

Guy: Excuse me, sir?

[presents bottle of champagne]

Guy: Compliments of the house.

[customers cheer and applaud]

The John: [looking around] What is this, some kind of hidden camera thing? Are you miked?

The Escort: [taking offense] Are you miked?

The John: [addresses customers] I was just kidding about the anal.

[customers gasp]

The John: I was just bored at the hotel. I was looking for something to do with my cock. Perfectly natch. Come on, take a look at her, you wouldn't kick in that back door?

The Escort: I'm not ashamed.

The John: Fuck this!

Guy: What'd you do last night, playboy?

Nuts: I too had a wild night. I made sweet, hot love to an orangutan.

Guy: Really? What'd that smell like?

Nuts: Bananas mostly.

[pauses]

Nuts: Guy, I'm pulling your leg, I did not fuck an orangutan last night.

Easy: What the hell are you doing up there?

Guy: I didn't get the mail til this morning. I would have been here, I've been on the road.

Easy: I know.

Guy: There's a hole in mom's sewing room.

Easy: I know.

Guy: What happened?

Mimi: I don't care what you did as a boy.

Guy: Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood.

Mimi: You?

Guy: [looking around] Yes. It's me.

Waiter: I have an unnatural passion for rocks.

Guy: You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Guy: Hey, you cute little greasemonkey, how would you like to tickle my carburetor?

Diane: Sorry, exhaustbreath, I don't work on compacts.

Guy: [song finishes] Well, what do you think? Do you like it? It's just a demo, you know...

Guy's Dad: It's fucking brilliant.

Guy: Really?

Guy's Dad: Fantastic stuff. That'll be a hit, no question.

Guy: What's the Czech for "Do you love him"?

[first lines]

Heroin Addict: Fuckin' deadly you are, man.

Guy: Don't fucking... don't fucking go near that case.

Heroin Addict: What? I'm just tying me laces, man.

Girl: How come you don't play during daytime? I see you here everyday.

Guy: During the daytime people would want to hear songs that they know, just songs that they recognize. I play these song at night or I wouldn't make any money. People wouldn't listen.

Girl: I listen.

[repeated line]

Guy: For fuck's sake...

Guy: Cool.

[repeated line]

Guy: Brilliant.

Girl: [glad] You fix vacuum cleaners!

Guy: I do.

Girl: I have a broken vacuum cleaner. You fix it for me?

Guy: Yep.

Girl: I bring it tomorrow then?

Guy: Okay.

Girl: This is great. Tomorrow?

Guy: Right.

Girl: K. Bye.

Guy: Just come and hang out.

Girl: But we done our work. Why would I go over? We'd just hanky-panky if I come now.

[Guy laughs]

Girl: What?

Guy: Hanky-panky? It won't be for hanky-panky.

Girl: I know it would. And that would be nice.

[Guy is looking for a goat to milk to feed the baby]

Guy: Oh, you're a billy goat. I need a Biljana.

Guy: Don't any of the tits in this country work?

Guy: Sorry about your family.

Vera: It's war.

Vera: Why do you need to help me?

Guy: Need?

Vera: Yes. I can see you need that.

Guy: [gives Girl a dirty look after she just gets off the phone]

Girl: What?

Guy: If I have to drive, you have to talk to me.

Girl: What, I'm the in flight entertainment?

Guy: That's how this ride sharing thing works, okay? Division of labor. We split everything 50/50

Girl: Oh, well, I got news for you, I don't get much more entertaining then when I'm on the phone.

Clerk: Remember the highway's your best bet.

Guy: Don't worry about it man, I got it all covered.

Girl: Are we lost or something?

Guy: No, I've done this drive a million times.

Guy: Okay, so let me get this straight, you think I intentionally arranged for us to get stranded out here?

Girl: I don't know!

Guy: It was an accident, goddammit! You saw the other guy! You think he was in on it too?

Girl: Maybe!

Guy: You're crazy!

Girl: I'm crazy?

Guy: Yes!

Girl: You know what, while you were supposedly unconscious, I got through to a friend's voice mail and I'm sure she's called the cops.

Guy: Would you listen to yourself? What kind of a psycho do you think I am?

Girl: Exactly!

Guy: [after they get stranded] I think I remember losing a candy bar down the seat cushions the other day. God, I'm starving.

[gets pulled down]

Guy: Ahhhh!

Girl: What? What is it?

Guy: Ahhhh!

Girl: What?

Guy: [gets up grinning] It's a candy bar.

Girl: You're an asshole.

Guy: I was going to tell you everything eventually.

Girl: The next gas station you see, do me a favor and pull over, I gotta pee.

Guy: Yeah, okay, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

[Girl gives him a look]

Guy: What?

Girl: It's that phrase, keeping your eyes peeled. It's just kinda creepy.

Guy: Yeah, it is, sorta.

Girl: Yeah?

Guy: Yeah. Speaking of uh, peeling eyeballs. Did you know that's how they do the corrective eye surgery?

Girl: Yeah, they use a laser.

Guy: Yeah, they do, but there's also peeling involved.

[Girl looks at him]

Guy: I saw it on Discovery Health. You know if more people knew about the whole peeling part, they might think twice before going under the knife.

Girl: It's a laser. They use a laser.

[pause]

Girl: I'm having corrective eye surgery over the break.

Guy: Why?

Girl: Because I hate wearing my glasses, okay?

Guy: But they look so good on you.

Girl: How would you know? I never wear them outside my dorm.

Guy: Hey, here's your gas station.

Girl: [after having been locked in the gas station bathroom and unable to get out or be heard by anyone] Hey, didn't you just hear me banging in there?

Guy: [bewildered laugh] When?

Girl: Oh, that's funny to you? Me locked in, you think that's funny?

Guy: What are you talking about? Locked in where?

Girl: You're telling me you didn't just hear me banging on the door? I could hear you.

Guy: Listen, I don't know what you're talking about.

Girl: [pauses] Forget it, it doesn't matter, let's just get back on the road.

Guy: So, did your parents do the whole traditional family Christmas?

Girl: Yeah.

[pause]

Girl: You?

Guy: No, my grandparents are Dutch. So I was raised on salted licorice and Sinterklaus.

Girl: How is that different from regular Santa Claus?

Guy: Well, instead of the North Pole, he lives in Spain and instead of elves, he's got this enforcer named Black Pete. So he's basically like your Santa Claus, only scarier.

[drops voice on "scarier"]

Girl: That's charming.

Guy: Give me Le Guen.

L'Admiral: No.

Guy: What will you do with him?

L'Admiral: I'm awaiting orders from Paris.

Guy: Let me question him. What he knows about the communist networks and leaders is of major interest to us.

L'Admiral: Three points, Mr. Asselin. One: Le Guen doesn't talk. He hasn't spoken since his arrest. Not even to my chief of staff - his classmate. Two: If I hand him over to you, he might talk. But I'd rather not. We know your methods. Three: Le Guen is a sailor. His case will be tried by sailors. Any relevant information will be passed along to you.

Guy: Thanks. Another example of Navy-Police cooperation. That's what makes empires great.

Guy: So where are you from?

Alan Joseph Zuckerman: Forest Park.

Guy: [surprised] Forest Park?

Alan Joseph Zuckerman: Yeah, off Liberty Heights.

Guy: That's, uh, Jewish, right?

Alan Joseph Zuckerman: [nervous pause] Damn near, yeah... Seems, uh, more's moving in too, y'know? So it's really... it's really getting that way.

Guy: Hi... What are you wearing?

Jill Johnson: Combat boots and a parka, you jerk. Who is this? This isn't funny!

Guy: Yes it is!

[Guy unzip's trousers]

Kate: What are you doing?

Guy: Just Breaking the ice.

Guy: Come on, you know you want it

Kate: Guy - you're mentally ill, do you know that? Freak

Guy: Kate - where you going?

Kate: Out of here

Guy: [sweetly] Good luck!

Kate: Now... what is that supposed to mean?

Jimmy: [They have discovered a barely alive Guy on the tracks] What you lookin at me for?

Kate: I don't know. Can we just get him off the rails?

Jimmy: He tried to rape you - let him rot!

Guy: Please - help!

Jimmy: FUCK off!

guy: [after seeing Christina swimming nude] You shouldn't go around showing your ass!

Christina Benton: And why not?

Guy: Why do you do this to yourself? Don't even get paid, risk getting arrested, for what?

Ernie: You don't know?

Guy: No.

Ernie: The Nod.

Guy: The Nod?

Ernie: Happens to me at least once every party. Some guy comes up to me and says "Thank you for making this happen... I needed this. This really meant something to me." And they nod... and I nod back.

Guy: [scoffs] ... That's it?

Ernie: That's it.

[the party organizers are discussing the area surrounding their warehouse]

Guy: Oh, wait a minute, I got one more thing.

Ernie: What's that?

Guy: Police station's three blocks away.

Ernie: Remember: no obstacles... only challenges.

Guy: Why is love like Rasputin? Because you can poison it. And you can stab it! And you can knock it down in the mud. But it will always get up. Don't you think that's good? Don't you think that's funny? Love will not die. It simply will not die. Just like Rasputin.

[first lines]

Vicki: My name is Vicki Curtis. And you are here to be Seat Fillers. Your job is to make sure the audience never looks empty. Because without you it would look like missing teeth. We, ladies and gentlemen, we complete the smile of Hollywood. All right ya bunch of nobodies, pull out your Seat Filler rule books and read along with me. No chewing gum. No bright colors. No hats, cellphones, or pagers. No gassy foods the night before. And never ever remove your blue ribbon, it's how we identify you.

Vicki: You. Stand up. That's right, you.

[approaching]

Vicki: You're crowding me.

[feels his seat]

Vicki: Be gone. Hit the bricks.

Guy: What did I do?

Vicki: Your ass is too hot! Go, you've lost your seat.

Lucinda: What's that?

Guy: A Joseph Smith Sphinx.

Lucinda: I know, but what is it?

Guy: A Joseph Smith Sphinx.