Grumpy Quotes in The Dark Knight (2008)

Grumpy: That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car.

[promptly draws his gun and points it a Bozo]

Grumpy: I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.

Bozo: [looks at his watch, checking it. He sighs] No, no no no. I kill the bus driver.

Grumpy: [as Bozo moves a few paces to one side] Bus driver? What bus driver?

[a yellow school bus reverses through the bank's doors and knocks Grumpy down. The driver jumps out]

Bus Driver: School's out! Time to go!

[laughs]

Bus Driver: Cat's not gettin' up, is he?

[loading duffels]

Bus Driver: That's a lot of money. What happened to the rest of the guys?

[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]

Gotham National Bank Manager: Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

Bozo: [putting a gas grenade in the banker's mouth] I believe, whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...

[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]

The Joker: ...stranger.

[During the bank heist, the bank manager produces a shotgun and starts blasting away. Bozo and Grumpy dive for cover]

Gotham National Bank Manager: Do you have any idea who you're stealing from? You and your friends are dead!

Grumpy: He's out, right?

[Bozo thinks a moment, then nods. Grumpy stands and takes aim, only to take the manager's last round in his shoulder, allowing Bozo to shoot the manager in the leg]

Grumpy: Where did you learn to count?

[first lines]

Grumpy: [with Chuckles, picks up Bozo on the street] Three of a kind, let's do this!

Chuckles: Huh, that's it? Three guys?

Grumpy: Plus two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share. Five shares is plenty.

Chuckles: *Six* shares. Don't forget the guy who planned the job.

Grumpy: He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice? I know why they call him "The Joker".

Happy: [up on the roof, breaking open the alarm box with Dopey] So why do they call him "the Joker"?

Dopey: I hear he wears makeup.

Happy: Makeup?

Happy: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

Grumpy: [On the street, Bozo, Grumpy and Chuckles get out of their car and run inside the bank. Grumpy fires off a round into the air to grab the attention of the customers and tellers] All right, everybody! Hands up, heads down!

[In the background, Chuckles overpowers one of the guards]

Grumpy: Let's put hands up, heads down!

[grabs a teller by his collar and pulls him over his desk]

Grumpy: Let's go, pal! I'm making a withdrawal here!

[He then points his gun at a female teller]

Grumpy: I said hands up!

Dopey: [waiting eagerly with Happy on the roof] Here comes the silent alarm...

[presses a button to disable it]

Dopey: ... and there it goes!

[Downstairs, Grumpy has managed to pull the female teller over the counter]

Dopey: That's funny. It didn't dial out to 911 - it was trying to reach a private number.

Happy: Is there a problem?

Dopey: Nah, nah. I'm done here.

[Happy shoots him, steals his bag, and rushes downstairs into the vault. In the lobby, Bozo is sticking gas grenades in the hostages' hands and pulling the pins]

Grumpy: Obviously we don't want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on to dear life!

[During a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on]

Grumpy: I'm betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.

Bozo: No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.

Grumpy: [confused] Bus driver? What bus dri-?

[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]

Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that?

Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?

Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right?

Grumpy: Funny, he told me something similar.

Happy: What...?

[turns]

Happy: No, no, no-!

[Grumpy shoots him]

[during the bank heist, Bozo subdues the terrified customers and employees by putting grenades in their hands and pulling the pins]

Grumpy: Obviously, we don't want you doing anything with your hands except hanging on for dear life!

[an angry midget runs under Giselle's dress]

Grumpy: Hey! Watch it, will ya?

Giselle: Grumpy!

Grumpy: Geez, lady! Are you for real?

Giselle: I-I think so.

Grumpy: Ask her who she is, and what she's a-doin' here!

Doc: Ah, yes. Now what are you, and who are you doin' here?

Grumpy: A fine bunch of water lilies you turned out to be. I'd like to see anybody make me wash, if I didn't wanna.

Grumpy: Now, I'm warnin' ya. Don't let nobody or nothin' in the house.

Snow White: Why, Grumpy, you do care.

[Kisses the reluctant Grumpy in the head]

Doc: Why, the whole place is clean.

Grumpy: There's dirty work afoot.

Snow White: Supper's not quite ready. You'll just have time to wash.

Dwarfs: [in unison] Wash?

Grumpy: [scoffs] I knew there's a catch to it!

Sneezy: [raising his hand and pointing to the sink] Hey, someone stole our dishes!

Happy: They ain't stole. They're hid in the cupboard.

Bashful: My cup's been washed. Sugar's gone.

Happy: Something's cooking. Smells good.

Grumpy: [shoving Happy and Dopey away] Don't touch that, you fools! Might be poison.

[the kettle spews steam at the three of them and the lid rattles]

Grumpy: See? It's witch's brew.

Snow White: [to the Seven Dwarfs] If you let me stay, I'll keep house for you. I'll wash and sew and sweep and cook.

Dwarfs: Cook?

Doc: Uh, can you make dapple lumplings? Er, lumple dapplings?

Grumpy, Sleepy: Apple dumplings.

Doc: Yes, crapple dumpkins.

Snow White: Yes, and plum pudding and gooseberry pie.

Dwarfs: Gooseberry pie? Hooray! She stays!

Doc: Shh! Not so loud. You'll wake her up.

Grumpy: Ah, let her wake up! She don't belong here nohow!

Grumpy: [During "Someday My Prince Will Come"] Ha! Mush.

Doc: The, uh, Princess will sleep in our beds upstairs.

Snow White: But, where will you sleep?

Doc: Oh, we'll be quite comfortable down here, in, uh, in, uh.

Grumpy: In a pig's eye!

Doc: In a pig's eye. Sty. No! No! I mean we'll be comfortable, won't we, men?

Grumpy: Ya crazy fool! Fine time ya picked to sneeze!

Sneezy: I couldn't help it. I can't tell. When you gotta, you gotta.

Snow White: [to the Seven Dwarfs] Please don't send me away. If you do, she'll kill me.

Dwarfs: Kill you?

Happy: Who will?

Sneezy: Yes, who?

Snow White: My stepmother, the queen.

Dwarfs: The Queen!

Bashful: She's wicked!

Happy: She's bad!

Sneezy: She's mighty mean!

Grumpy: She's an old witch! And I'm warnin' ya, if that queen finds her here, she'll swoop down and wreak her vengeance on us!

Snow White: But she doesn't know where I am.

Grumpy: She don't, eh? She knows everything. She's full of black magic! She can even make herself invisible. Pfft! Might be in this room right now!

Grumpy: [the animals are trying to get their attention] They ain't acting this way for nothing!

Sleepy: [Yawning] Maybe the old Queen's, uh, got Snow White.

Dwarfs: [In shock] The Queen! Snow White!

Grumpy: The Queen will kill her! We, we gotta save her!

Doc: Yes! Yes! We, we gotta save her!

Sneezy: She'll kill her!

Happy: What'll we do?

Doc: Yeah, yes, wha-what'll we do?

Grumpy: [Takes charge] Come on!

[leaps onto the back of the nearest deer and rides off]

Grumpy: Angel, ha! She's a female! And all females is poison! They're full of wicked wiles!

Bashful: What are wicked wiles?

Grumpy: I don't know, but I'm agin' 'em.

Snow White: [Waking up] Oh, dear! I wonder if the children are.

[Sees the dwarves peeking from the edge of the bed]

Snow White: Oh!

[the dwarves hide, then peek again]

Snow White: Why. Why, you're little men.

[the dwarfs look at each other, then reveal their whole faces before Snow White]

Snow White: How do you do?

[the dwarfs look at each other again, but don't answer]

Snow White: I said, how do you do?

Grumpy: How do ya do, what?

Snow White: Oh, you can talk. I'm so glad.

Grumpy: Hah! Women! A fine kettle of fish.

Grumpy: [watching the Dwarfs washing themselves] Next thing you know, she'll be tyin' your beards up in pink ribbons and smellin' ya up with that stuff called, uh perfume.