Griffin Quotes in Jumper (2008)

David Rice: Why are you walking?

Griffin: I like to walk for a change. Makes me feel normal.

David Rice: Where'd the Paladin go?

Griffin: Swimming.

David Rice: Pacific?

Griffin: No, Actually, Atlantic. Nice little shark pit round Cuba.

David Rice: [jumps into Griffin's lair] I just came through your jump scar.

Griffin: What do you think you're doing here? Huh? If I were you, I'd jump back. You're not supposed to see all this stuff. Get out! So if you'd like to kindly fuck off, as in now. Maybe your girlfriend's still alive.

David Rice: [referring to bomb] What's that?

Griffin: What?

David Rice: What are you doing?

Griffin: Nothing, I was uh, you know thinking about going bowling

David Rice: What?

Griffin: Roland's in there with his whole army. I'm going to go back there and end this, what do you think? Yeah I'm gonna blow him to Timbuktu.

David Rice: Millie's in there!

Griffin: Oh yeah, there is that as well.

David Rice: You, uh, you ever read Marvel Team-Up?

Griffin: Yeah, I've read it. And?

David Rice: Two superheroes joining forces for like, uh, a limited run.

Griffin: You see, I see what you're trying to do, yeah? I'm not buying it. For your own sake, just go home.

David Rice: You live in a cave.

Griffin: It's called a lair. And what's the point?

David Rice: I'm just saying, you know. We, uh, kind of have this common thing.

Griffin: [after Mille is taken by the Paladins] Crap, I uh, I didn't expect that. I didn't know.

David Rice: [sees Griffin taking a pee] Whoa!

Griffin: Eh, little privacy over here, yeah?

David Rice: yeah, ok

Griffin: Big coliseum, guy peeing... it's not a fashion show, can you give me some space?

David Rice: Sure, place is all yours.

Roland: You always go bad.

David Rice: Maybe I'm different.

Roland: You're not different.

Griffin: I'm different, boo!

Griffin: You can't just keep following me.

David Rice: Actually, I'm the only one who *can* keep following you.

Griffin: If it moves, I can jump it. Actually, I knew this Jumper once - crazy bastard - tried to hop a whole building. Won't be trying that again.

David Rice: Why's that?

Griffin: That's 'cause he's dead. Killed him. Still managed to shake it a little though.

David Rice: So how long you been doing this for?

Griffin: Doing what? Driving?

David Rice: No. Jumping.

Griffin: Since I was five.

David Rice: Five?

Griffin: Yeah.

David Rice: How'd you keep it a secret from people? Like your parents.

Griffin: It's pretty easy when they're not around.

David Rice: Where were they?

Griffin: Not around.

David Rice: Who are these people?

Griffin: Paladins. Paladins kill Jumpers, I kill Paladins. Class dismissed.

Griffin: Paladins have been killing Jumpers for years. Way back since medieval times. They're fanatics. Religious nut jobs. Inquisition, witch hunts. That was them. Look, they're smart. They're fast, they're organized. No matter what, they'll kill anyone that gets in their way. Like your family, your friends. That little girlfriend you're traipsing around with you. They're dead. All of them. Get used to it. It's just a matter of time.

Griffin: Welcome to the war.

Griffin: You're not a hero David, you're a jumper. You don't save the girl.

Griffin: [about David] Rookie, no idea.

Griffin: There's no other way for this to work, K has to be the one to go. K is the only one who can save the world.

Agent J: If he does this, is there ANY future where he lives?

Griffin: Yes. But where there is death, there will always be death.

Griffin: A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

[last lines]

Griffin: This is my NEW favourite moment in human history... unless this is the one where K forgets to leave a tip...

[sees a meteor about to hit the Earth in the distant future]

Agent K: Almost forgot...

[leaves a tip - a satellite appears and collides with the meteor, rendering the Earth safe]

Griffin: That was a close one!

Griffin: The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.

Griffin: I lost my world. I don't want you to lose yours. It's only the most infinitesimal of chances, but if it works, it'll be my most favourite moment in human history.

Agent J: Hey, ain't you coming?

Griffin: [falling behind] No, I'm done here. J, as soon as K blows Boris's arm off everything will be back to the way it was, K will not remember anything that happened here.

Agent J: I got it: arm blown off, history's reset. Okay, thanks G!

[goes on ahead]

Griffin: [to himself] I can never bear to watch this part...

Griffin: Any future where you succeed, is one where you tell the truth.

Agent J: The TRUTH?

Griffin: Sir, if I may...

[touches the Colonel's arm]

Agent J: Hey, I saw you doing that whole future thing with the Colonel. What did you show him?

Griffin: Only what he needed to know.

[Griffin shows K and J the future, from his viewpoint]

Agent J: So this is how you see things? This is amazing!

Griffin: It's a gigantic pain in the ass, but it has its moments.

[J meets Griffin]

Agent J: How's it going?

Griffin: How's it going? Well, that depends. For me personally, it's good. Things are good. Unless, of course, we're in the possible future where the muscle boy near the door gets into an argument with his girlfriend, which causes her to storm away and bump into the guy carrying the stuffed mushroom, who then dumps the tray onto those sailors on leave and a shoving match breaks out and they crash into the coffee table here. In which case, I gotta move my plate like right now.

[as he speaks, the events he narrates occur]

Griffin: ...or if it's the possible future, in which the pastrami sandwich I'm eating causes me gastric distress. But thankfully your friend, sir, will offer some of the antacids he carries in his right pocket. So I'll be good, I'll be good. Except in the case of the possible future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes, just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids. So, on the whole, I'd have to say, not good. I'm not good.

[J stares at Griffin]

Griffin: But that depends.

Agent J: [looks for his partner] K!

Griffin: Oh, dear. I forgot about this part...

[gets captured by Boris]

Griffin: [afterGriffin and Miltie have joined the Rollerboys, much to Speedbagger's obvious dismay] Speedbagger... Don't hate me, okay?

Speedbagger: I don't hate nobody, son. Hate's the root of all evil... And evil's goddamn tempting, ain't it...? I just hope there's something left of what I saw in you two boys.

Griffin: Well, we love you very much.

Speedbagger: I don't want your LOVE! I just want you to THINK about what you're DOING! Please!

Gary Lee: [at a Rollerboy office-building, he explains to Griffin why the Rollerboys don't use their own designer-drugs] I am very strict on this: We have to remain pure. Let the others indulge their weaknesses.

Griffin: Why sell it, then?

Gary Lee: Because we have to, for now; It's just a phase. Besides, some people just aren't worth saving... Do you remember when we were kids? Blood Brothers? Penknife and a couple drops of blood?

Griffin: Yeah... We're lucky we didn't get tetanus, huh?

Gary Lee: It's more serious now. Once in, never out. That's how we live. But you ought to know, I have this thing about betrayers... They tick me off.

Griffin: ...Sounds fair to me.

Griffin: [upon discovering that he's been helping the Rollerboys beat up Speedbagger] Don't touch him again. Get your hands off him.

Gary Lee: Back off! I like a man who stands by his friends...

Griffin: Why the Speedbagger?

Gary Lee: ...You just can't have friends like THAT.

Bullwinkle: [at Gary Lee's office building, he and Bullwinkle are interviewing Griffin as a potential Rollerboy] I have one more question, Griffin: when and why did you change your mind about us, all of a sudden?

[Griffin levels an empty assault rifle at him]

Griffin: ...I *never* changed my mind about *you*.

[he passes the rifle to Bullwinkle]

Gary Lee: Same old Griffin, huh? Good to have you with us...! You'll have to excuse Bullwinkle; he's terribly loyal, just not very sophisticated.

Capt. Apache: I don't suppose you remember the combination?

Griffin: I never had a head for figures.

Griffin: Why do you always insult people who might kill you?

Capt. Apache: I like to see a man enjoy his work.

Griffin: You're at the wrong table, Captain... and the wrong hotel and the wrong town. And you might even be in the wrong line of business.

Griffin: Give me the ring.

Landis: I can't give you this ring! My Dad gave it to me!

Griffin: I don't care if Moses gave it to you. Give me the ring.

[sitting in a Cuban jail cell as bombs are being dropped]

Griffin: Bay of Pigs.

Griffin: If you need any help, my friend here can fly. He'll spell ya.

Griffin: Hi. Sorry to bother you. We're animal trappers and we're lookin' for wolves. Relocating the damn things.

Debbie: Well, i'm no wolf, but i've been called a fox in my time.

[she giggles]

Griffin: [fake laugh] Ha ha ha... so no wolves?

Debbie: No.

[she hides the bowl of dog food behind her legs]

Griffin: Hmmm. Got pets, huh?

Debbie: Oh yes. Well, thanks for stopping by. I'll keep my eyes pealed.

[from trailer]

Frankenstein: We're gonna need more time. Uh-oh.

[the tower falls down, explodes, then Frank is on fire, and runs around crazy, destroying every camp cabin]

Frankenstein: FIRE!

Griffin: Frank, calm down!

Murray: Stop, drop and roll!

Frankenstein: FIRE!

Wayne: Frank, no!

Murray: Stop, drop and roll!

Wayne: Frank, slow down!

Frankenstein: FIRE!

Wayne: Frank, wait!

[Camp kids takes out marshmallows on sticks, cheer and start coming to the fire to roast them]

Phoenix: [while they're sitting on a bench waiting for the sun to rise] You ever not want a new day to start?

Griffin: Why do you think we're facing in this direction?

Griffin: [after phoenix rejected his invitation for a date] Don't flatter yourself Phoenix. My life is a little bit complicated right now, you may not know this about me but I only get bold about every 5 years.

Phoenix: [showing up for their date] You're a very strange person.

Griffin: That maybe true, but you're here.

Griffin: What's left of my life is not gonna be spent in a hospital.

Griffin: [refuses to see who's knocking in his door] You got the wrong door, nobody you know lives here.

Griffin: [after telling phoenix that he doesn't want to see her in his last remaining days] No long drawn out goodbyes...

Griffin: I was talking to this idiot the other day and as he looked back from the mirror I realized I was right about one thing. There is an answer... and the answer is being with you. I love you for better or for worse, this time we that we have, this can be part of the better part, because we'll be together and that way everything even this is better... good even.

Griffin: [after letting his son drive his car for the first time] Well son, I'll tell you this for free. You're one super driver.

Griffin: [camera is on him in the shower] You know, I hope that's a wide-angle lens.