Gretchen Quotes in The Drowning Pool (1975)

Lew Harper: I'd just like to try a little conversation first.

Gretchen: Sure, you wanna call me dirty names?

Lew Harper: No, I didn't say that.

Gretchen: You want me to call you dirty names?

[last lines]

Gretchen: Harper, you're not such a tough guy.

Gretchen: I've been studying the moon with the 200-inch telescope at the observatory, and I've discovered some peculiar eccentricities in it's orbit.

Counselor: You know, Gretchen, maybe you should try out one of these neat anti-gravity harnesses. The other kids love 'em, and look - you can do backflips, just like real astronauts.

Gretchen: But...

[Counselor flips away. Gretchen sighs]

Gretchen: Why do I bother?

TJ: [from space suit] Because you're driven by a passionate desire for knowledge.

Ashley: Hey, remember that summer after the second grade when we went down to the pond every day to catch minnows?

Gretchen: Or how about that summer we all carved our initials in that big tree in the Wilson's backyard?

Vince: And Spinelli spelled her's wrong.

Ashley: Hey, I was seven. And "S's" are tricky.

[Gus begins sobbing]

Ashley: What's your problem? This is the first summer you've lived here.

Gus: I know, and I'll never have any of those memories.

Gretchen: 18,000 dollars?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: A total of $19,000 now?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Mark Zuckerberg: Hang on.

[Mark sarcastically adds up the 2 amounts on his notepad]

Mark Zuckerberg: I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

Gretchen: What was Mr. Zuckerberg's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Dustin Moskovitz's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Sean Parker's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Peter Thiel's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: And what was your ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: .03 percent.

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?

Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Gretchen: That is so fetch!

Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Gretchen: Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!

Cady: [voiceover] Gretchen Wieners had cracked.

[Gretchen arrives at Karen's house, dressed in a cat suit with cat ears. Karen's in a skimpy short dress]

Gretchen: What are you supposed to be?

[Points to her headband]

Karen: I'm a MOUSE. DUH.

Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.

Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.

Karen: What? He's a good kisser.

Gretchen: He's your cousin.

Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.

Gretchen: Right.

Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...

Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.

Karen: That's not right, is it?

Gretchen: That is so not right.

Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.

Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?

Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!

[Regina leaves, Gretchen follows]

Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!

Regina: No one understands me...

Gretchen: I understand you!

[Regina & Gretchen's voices fade out]

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.

Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!

Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.

Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?

Cady: No no no... Anything else?

Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.

Cady: What do you mean?

Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.

Cady: Really? That's amazing.

Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.

Gretchen: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm popular.

Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.

Regina: Is butter a carb?

Cady: [Rudely] YES.

Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.

Regina: So...?

Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.

Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.

Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!

Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!

Gretchen: You can't sit with us!

Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.

Regina: [after being ignored] Fine! You can walk home, bitches.

Karen: God. My hips are huge!

Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.

Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.

Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.

Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.

Regina: My pores are huge.

Karen: My nail beds suck.

[pause. All look at Cady]

Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.

Karen: Ew!

Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch.

Regina: Still true.

Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.

Regina: Still half-true.

Karen: Amber D'Alessio . She made out with a hot dog.

Gretchen: Janis Ian-DYKE.

Karen: [pointing to Damien in background of picture] Hey, who is that?

Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damien.

Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function.

[Karen & Gretchen chuckle]

Regina: That's funny, put that in there.

Gretchen: [to Cady] If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and... it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!

[begins to cry]

Regina George: Wedell on South Boulevard.

Gretchen: Caller ID

Regina George: Not when you connect from information.

Taylor Wedell's Mom: Hello?

Regina George: Hello, may I please talk to Taylor Wedell?

Taylor Wedell's Mom: She's not home yet who's calling?

Regina George: This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It's urgent, Thank You.

[Taylor Wedell's mom faints]

Regina George: She's not going out with anyone.

Regina: [referring to Cady's bracelet made in Africa] I love it!

Gretchen: So Fetch!

Regina: What is fetch?

Gretchen: Oh, it's like slang, from... England.

Cady: [voiceover] The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.

Regina: [to Cady] Okay... you have really good eyebrows.

Cady: Thanks.

Regina: [pushing Gretchen] Move.

Gretchen: Ooh.

Cady: [voiceover] Same with Gretchen: the meaner Regina was to her, the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. She knew it was better to be in the plastics, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being with the plastics was like being famous... people looked at you all the time and everybody just knew stuff about you.

Girl: That knew girl moved here from Africa.

Girl: I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.

Boy: That Cady girl is hot... she might even be hotter than Regina George.

Mr. Duvall: I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. The 2 were seen canoodling at Chris Isen's halloween party... they've been inseparable ever since.

Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?

Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?

Regina George: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.

Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.

Regina George: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.

[repeated line]

Gretchen: That was so fetch!

Gretchen: [in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just *stab* Caesar!

Cady: [Voiceover] Gretchen Wieners had cracked.

Jason: Is your muffin buttered?

Cady: What?

Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Cady: My what?

Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?

Jason: I'm just being friendly.

Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!

Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?

Cady: No, thank you.

Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.

Jason: [whispers] Bitch...

Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.

Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".

Regina: What are "frenemies"?

Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them "frenemies".

Karen: Or "enemends".

Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them "fraitors".

Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.

Karen: [gasps] What if we called them "mean-em-aitors"?

Regina: [scoffs]

Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word "friend" in it.

Karen: Oh...

Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.

Regina: I know, right?

Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.

Gretchen: [Talking to Cady] And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.

Cady: I think I'm joining the Mathletes.

Regina, Gretchen, Karen: No! No, no!

Regina: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. *Damn*! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.

Gretchen: Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.

Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.

Cady: I wouldn't?

Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

Gretchen: Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.

Gretchen: Growing up female in this world is not easy. In China, baby girls are routinely put up for adoption. And in parts of Africa, women are still made to live in tents during the time of their menses.

Karen: Ew!

Gretchen: And even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten girls have a negative body image.

Regina George: Who cares? Six of those girls are right!

Karen: [thinks she flashed over] Oh my god, she's so annoying.

Gretchen: Who is?

Karen: Who's this?

Gretchen: Gretchen...

Karen: Right... hold on.

[Karen flashes over]

Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying.

Regina: [Cady and the Plastics are getting into their start positions for Jingle Bell Rock] Uh, Gretchen? Switch sides with Cady.

Gretchen: But I'm always on your left!

Regina: Well, that was when we were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle.

Gretchen: But the whole dance will be backwards! I'm always on your left!

Regina: And right now, you're getting on my last nerve! Switch!

[Gretchen reluctantly swaps sides with Cady in the positions]

Regina: [On the phone] I know your secret.

Cady: [to herself] Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.

[to Regina]

Cady: Secret? What are you saying about?

Regina: Gretchen told me you like Aaron Samuels. I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want, but lemme just tell you something about Aaron, all he cares about is school and his mom and his friends.

Cady: Is that bad?

Regina: But if you like him, whatever. I mean I could talk to him for you if you want.

Cady: Really? You would do that? I mean nothing embarassing though, right?

Regina: Oh no, trust me, I know exactly how to play it. But wait, aren't you *so* mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing for her to do.

Cady: Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad, I mean I guess she just likes the attention.

Regina: See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you!

Gretchen: [Suddenly appears in the same phone conversation] I can't believe you think I like attention!

Regina: [to both Cady and Gretchen] Ok, love you, see you tomorrow!

Gretchen: I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.

Stuart: It is no more crazy than a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are colourblind, Gretchen. They don't see colour. Just like we don't see time. We can feel it, we can feel it passing, but we can't see it. It's just like a blur. It's like we're riding in a supersonic train and the world is just blowing by, but imagine if we could stop that train, eh, Gretchen? Imagine if we could stop that train, get out, look around, and see time for what it really is? A universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as colour to a dog, and as real, as tangible as that chair you're sitting in. Now if we could see it like that, really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws as well as the form. And that's it; it's that simple. That's all I discovered. I'm just a... a guy who saw a crack in a chair that no one else could see. I'm that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me.

Gretchen: I believe you.

Oliver Fry: [introducing himself] Hello. Oliver Fry.

Elliot Garfield: Oliver Fry the director?

Oliver Fry: Yes, I believe so.

Elliot Garfield: [excitedly] It's nice to meet you. Oliver Fry, what'd you know! Would you like to come in? Here, uh... Yeah, come on in. Hi!

Gretchen: Pleased to meet you.

Oliver Fry: Well...

Elliot Garfield: [flustered] Hi, it's very nice to...

Oliver Fry: We won't keep you. There was just one question that I wanted to ask. Would you be interested in a movie?

Elliot Garfield: You mean making one?

Oliver Fry: Or we could go to one, but I think working is much more fun.

Gretchen: Hey Japan! I was fired tonight! On Christmas Eve!... Heartless japanese! Cold blooded Japan!

Gretchen: [to Abby] I'm so freakin' wasted I'm about to collapse. You got any beer?

Gretchen: So why did the "gene dupes" ban it? Back travel?

Ruby: Uh, well, brain drain, apparently. Too many anachronists were disappearing into the past. They banned it in 2467, except for the terminally ill.

Gretchen: That's fun, isn't it? Playing along?

Ruby: Yeah, I mean, he's a freak, but he tells a good story!

Gretchen: Oh, I'll bet he does!

Gretchen: You have to listen to me. We are over. Completely and totally over.

Sam: The next time you break up with me, you want to do it before I give you a ride home.

Gretchen: We are over!

Sam: Oh, no. You can't do this to me now.

Gretchen: [to Michael] How can you teach History and have such a short memory?

Gretchen: I'll tell you what, Mrs. Burgess, why don't I make you some lunch?

Cecelia Burgess: Sure! Some poisoned food would just finish me off!

Michael Burgess: Well, they were all out of poisoned food today. We got the other kind.

Gretchen: [having just had sex with Sonny] Oh, my God. That was... amazin'. You know, you should do that for a livin'. Oh...

Sonny: I do.

Gretchen: You're weird.

Donnie: Sorry.

Gretchen: No, that was a compliment actually.

Gretchen: "Donnie Darko." What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something.

Donnie: What makes you think I'm not?

Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.

Donnie: Oh, I have those, too. What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?

Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.

Donnie: Oh.

Gretchen: And what if you could go back in time and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?

[last lines]

Gretchen: Hey. What's going on?

David: Horrible accident. My neighbor, he got killed.

Gretchen: What happened?

David: Got smushed by a jet engine.

Gretchen: What was his name?

David: Donnie. Donnie Darko.

Gretchen: Hmm.

David: I feel bad for his family.

Gretchen: Yeah.

David: Did you know him?

Gretchen: No.

Gretchen: Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood.

[Donnie tries to kiss Gretchen and she pulls away]

Donnie: I - I'm sorry. I...

Gretchen: Look, Donnie, wait.

Donnie: I like you a lot.

Gretchen: I just want it to be at a time when it...

Donnie: When what?

Gretchen: When it reminds me just...

Donnie: When it reminds you how beautiful the world can be?

Gretchen: Yeah.

[turns her head]

Gretchen: And right now there's some fat guy over there staring at us.

Gretchen: Um, where do I sit?

Karen Pommeroy: Sit next to the boy you think is the cutest.

[the class gasps]

Karen Pommeroy: Quiet! Let her choose.

Donnie: Well, look... You want to go with me?

Gretchen: Where do you want to go?

Donnie: I mean, like, "go" with me. Like, you know... Like, it's what we call it here. "Going together."

Gretchen: Sure.

[pauses for a moment, turns and walks away]

Donnie: Okay. Hey, where are you going?

Gretchen: I'm going home.

Trip: Duaaagh...

[falls to his knees, his arm torn away]

Gretchen: Jesus, Trip!

Gretchen: Uh, are You ok?

Trip: [standing up] My heart's still beating... but a... my arm's gone.

Jack: You're kidding?

Trip: I wish.

Jack: Is he?

[to Gretchen]

Gretchen: Not this time!

Howard Landers: Gretchen I want you to be my date for the dance. Okay?

Gretchen: Dry up!

Howard Landers: Gretchen, you know what'd look really good on you?

Gretchen: What?

Howard Landers: Me.

Gretchen: Suck it in and zip it up, will ya?

Jessie 'T.J.' Hanniger: Hey, who busted the lock? I've got the keys right here!

Gretchen: [annoyed] Ugh, Howard did it.

Howard Landers: Nope! Harry Warden did it!

Gretchen: [Newby is hanging a notice up on the door to the union hall] Eh, what's going on?

Chief Jake Newby: The mayor's cancelled the dance, and that's all there is to it... well, in the light of Mabel's death, we had no choice.

Sylvia: Mabel would've wanted us to have the dance, I mean she worked so hard on it!

John: Yeah, you can't cancel it now!

Tommy Whitcomb: You're just looking for an excuse to cancel the dance.

Chief Jake Newby: That's the way it is! There'll be no dance tomorrow night, and no parties either, you understand me?

Margaret Elliott: Haven't you ever cried because you're happy?

Gretchen: No.

Margaret Elliott: Well, you see, some people cry when they're happy and laugh when they're mad.

Gretchen: So what's this secret business you got with Derby Milton? He stopped by Drewry's after hours last night asking about you, worked up on Harvey real good.