Greg Quotes in Red Dawn (2012)

[the group just ate stolen Subway]

Daryl Jenkins: Oh, ho, I missed this.

Julie: You know what else I miss? Pizza.

Greg: Toilets that flush.

Daryl Jenkins: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

Robert: Dude, we're living Call of Duty. And it sucks.

Greg: It's coffee time! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee! Cappuccino, java, YES!

Greg: [pointing on a zombie in the water] Shoot it!

Capt. Victor Kirk: What do you think I am trying to do, you fucking moron?

Simon: [Rudy and Simon just freed Greg from the knocked-over porta-potty as he runs around covered in feces]

[In the verge of laughter]

Simon: Dude, what the fuck happened to you?

Greg: I was in there and then frickn'- the banging, an the frickn' thing fell over and I was stuck inside!

Simon: You're in deep shit, huh?

Cynthia: [Greg and Cynthia are about to have sex] Wait, what if the others come back?

Greg: I can be quick.

Cynthia: [sighs] What else is new?

Greg: They say, "salesmanship is ninety nine perspiration and one percent inspiration," but for me it's the other way around - when it comes to sincere marketing. This is a passion for me. And passion gives birth to inspiration. Inspiration to heal lost souls. Thirsty souls. They quench their thirst with the wrong substances. They sell supplements for everything today, but they still haven't cured deficiencies in spirit. What folks need is vitamin water of a much greater nature. I submit to you that every Catholic family should have Holy Water in their home. And it is the role of the church to put it there. Some people say that the church has fallen from grace. No sir, that's a lie. They say there is a crisis of faith. I say there's always been a crisis of faith. Too many forces are fighting against the side of heaven. The church shall prevail, but it needs to be fortified. What is the answer? We know the answer. But there's too much heresy blocking the airwaves. Good people are deeply lost in the realms of the unholy. "Forgive them for they know not what they do." No sir - that just won't cut it. We can forgive them but we cannot forgive ourselves for not showing them the way. They go with the flow? We have another flow to offer, and it is a mighty and holy river. Genesis Holy Water, from the River Jordan. The church should not only endorse it, but sell it. Wholesale. And believers will cross over to our side, as those who crossed the river Jordan to hear the lord preach - and they were healed! They say our flock is weak of heart, I say they're thirsty. Thirsty for holy water as they are for The Word. When the enemies of the lord sought to capture him, Jesus took refuge in the river Jordan, in the place John had first baptized him. "When all people were baptized, and Jesus was at prayer after likewise being baptized the skies opened and the holy spirit descended." Luke chapter three verse twenty one.

Billie: He knows his lines.

Casper: You got a bible here to test him?

Billie: No.

Casper: So you are the fool who walketh in the darkness - book of Casper, chapter nine verse nine.

Billie: It sounds good to me.

Casper: Of course it sounds good, he's a con artist, and he's fucking brilliant at it. Hats off!

Greg: You have no idea who I am, and you talk too much.

Casper: Yeah? How much do you make a year?

Greg: None of your business.

Casper: That fuckin' much, eh?

Greg: Could piggyback on the elevator cables.

Ed Oswald: You planning to go down there, why not go down in style?

Greg: What, this old shit still works?

Ed Oswald: Sonny, let me tell you, this old shit-bucket will be working long time after that MP3 of yours.

Greg: Hey, you want to share a sleeping bag?

Cath: [sniff] What's the cologne you're wearing? Yeah, six hours of sweat and dirt and all other kinds of shit. I think I'll pass.

Chuck Wheeler: Say hi to Greg, he'll be hurting you today.

Greg: Hi there!

Matt Douglas: That went a little too easy. You guys are getting soft.

Greg: Mr. President, once again, we really wish you wouldn't do that. You put yourself at great risk, sir.

Matt Douglas: Oh, yeah, right. Let me ask you something. In all the years ex-presidents have had Secret Service protection, has there ever been even one assassination attempt on any of 'em?

Chet: Uh, no, sir.

Matt Douglas: I find that sad. The minute you're out of office they don't care enough about you to kill you anymore. People are FICKLE.

Greg: Sir, uh, before we go in, Chet and I would really like to know how you got out of that bathroom stall without us seeing.

Matt Douglas: Why don't you guys just relax? Take a night off. Go rent "In The Line of Fire" again.

Stewart: When we were in high school together... did you like that time in your life?

Greg: Well, it wasn't exactly what John Hughes said it would be. But, then again, college isn't quite what John Belushi said it would be, either.

Manny Heffley: I'm texting.

Susan Heffley: Oh, no. No devices on this trip.

Greg: What do you mean?

Susan Heffley: This is an unplugged road trip. No phones. No iPads. No internet. Everyone, hand over the devices.

Greg: You tricked us!

Rodrick Heffley: This is totally not cool!

Greg: You want me to read. I'm reading texts! What's the difference?

Greg: Without devices, there's absolutely nothing to do.

Susan Heffley: Look at the scenery. Read a book.

Greg: Read a book? It's summer vacation!

[from trailer]

Greg: Are you kidding?

Greg: [Greg closes the car door]

[to Alex]

Greg: See ya.

Alex Stewart: [after Greg left with Rosie]

[thinking to himself about Greg and giggles]

Alex Stewart: Wanker!

[after hitting a fisherman crossing the road]

Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!

Ray: No way! I ain't going to jail!

Greg: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?

Ray: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.

[the guys picking up the dead guy's body]

Greg: I'll grab one arm.

Bobby: I'll grab the other arm.

Ray: I'll grab his ass.

Buffy Gilmore: Oh my god, we hit a boot!

Greg: Where's the foot?

Ray: [displaying a yellow sleeveless shirt] Does this shirt make me look gay?

Greg: Naw, man.

Ray: [tucks the bottom of the shirt over so it looks like a bra] How 'bout now?

Greg: No.

Cindy Campbell: Greg, you're not the only one who got one.

Greg: What do you mean, Bobby's got a baby-dick too?

Cindy Campbell: No, the note.

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!

Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."

Greg: Who didn't?

Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin

[Begins to cry]

Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...

Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!

Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...

Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!

Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...

Greg: Stop.

Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...

Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Greg: Ugh, tests... I've been there.

Greg: One last thing. Hot girls destroy your life. That's just a fact.

Greg: You know I'm terminally awkward and I have a face like a little groundhog. I just feel like, you know, for a kid like me in high school best case scenario, just survive. You know? Survive without creating any mortal enemies or hideously embarassing yourself forever.

Limo Driver: So you love this girl?

Greg: Uh, no. I wouldn't go that far.

Greg: So again, if this was a touching, romantic story we'd obviously fall in love and she'd say all the wise, beautiful things that can only be learned in life's twilight or whatever. And then she'd die in my arms. But again, that's not what happened. She just got quieter and unhappier.

Greg: So if this was a touching romantic story this is probably where a new feeling would wash over me and suddenly we would be furiously making out with the fire of a thousand suns. But this isn't a touching romantic story.

Greg: Summer. What does that word even mean, right? More "summ." Winter, same deal. More "wint"?

Greg: The idea behind each one was we took a film that we like and made the title stupider. And then made a new film to reflect the new stupid title. It's a formula that only produces horrible films, but for some reason we kept using it.

Rachel: Is that a black power salute?

Greg: No, I was going in for a fist bump.

Rachel: I can't fist bump you from up here.

Greg: Yeah, I realize that.

Greg: Can I put some flowers on you?

Greg: I remember visiting Rachel too. Sometimes she talked, and sometimes she didn't want to. When she didn't want to I talked. Or we watched movies. Sometimes she laughed, sometimes she didn't.

Greg: We make films. We've been making them since we were little...

Greg: We're on drugs.

Earl: Oh shit!

Rachel: Why are you on drugs?

Greg: We, uh, we make films.

Rachel: Movies?

Greg: Yeah, we've been making them for a few years now.

Greg: It doesn't matter if kids love you or not. It's not their *job* to love you. It's your job to love them.

Greg: This is the most amazing night of my entire life.

Mark Bellison: Think how amazing if you didn't smell of vomit.

[Josh comes into the gym for the first tryout]

Greg: Check out the new kid.

Larry Willingham: It looks like he stole that ball from the Harlem Globetrotters.

[Josh climbs up the bleachers past Larry]

Larry Willingham: How you doin', buddy?

Coach Barker: All right, listen up!

[Josh takes his seat as Coach Barker approaches]

Coach Barker: Now, you're here today to try out for the school's finest tradition: basketball. Now, I've got five of my boys back from last year, including leading scorer Larry Willingham. Raise your hands, gentlemen.

[Larry, Greg and three other boys raise their hands]

Coach Barker: This year, we are going all the way. Why's that, Willingham?

Larry Willingham: Because we're winners, sir.

Coach Barker: That's right. We are here to win, because if you can win on the courts, you can win at life. Get your butts out here and let's see if you can play ball.

[Coach Barker blows his whistle and everyone comes out on the court and begins playing except Josh]

Coach Barker: What team you playing for? What team you playing for?

Players: [in unison] Timberwolves!

Coach Barker: Who's gonna win?

Players: [in unison] Timberwolves!

Coach Barker: Who's gonna win?

Players: [in unison] Timberwolves!

Coach Barker: I can't hear you!

Players: [in unison] Timberwolves!

Coach Barker: What team's gonna win?

Players: [in unison] Timberwolves!

Greg: You know, I find it fascinating that Kristin is only a month further along than you, and yet she's the size of a school bus while you're still over here looking like Kate Moss.

Thea Clayhill: Uh, different strokes, I guess.

Greg: Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it.

[reaches for Thea's stomach, Lisa swats at his hand]

Greg: What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach.

Lisa DePardo: Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg.

Thea Clayhill: And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg!

Greg: Congratulations, Thea.

Thea Clayhill: Thank you, Greg.

Greg: You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't cha? I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. It super stinks.

Lisa DePardo: Hm.

Thea Clayhill: Well, really? Do you think that it stinks that I wanna hire you to be my assistant?

Greg: Really?

Thea Clayhill: You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through.

Greg: Oh wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I- I could kiss you right now.

Thea Clayhill: You don't have to do that.

Greg: I'll see you later, boss.

Ferdy: You know, I got a worry.

Greg: Report from the front, Ferdy's got a worry.

Rick: Yeah?

Ferdy: What if these things can read our minds?

Rick: It'll be awful mad when it gets to me!

Greg: Oh! Fuck the fuchsia it's Friday!

Greg: Computer, huh? Let's go trash the fucker.

Greg: You smell like pepperoni.

Suzie Lynn: Well, if that's how you feel...

Greg: Wait a minute...

Suzie Lynn: What?

Greg: I LIKE pepperoni.

Greg: You sure you know how to handle that thing?

Ferdy: Sure I can. I saw Dirty Harry 24 times.

Greg: Hey... How much do I owe you for the beer?

Rick: Forget it. If we get out of here, you can get me a six-pack.

Rick: Greg, man, you're not thinking. We made it this far by sticking together.

Greg: Yeah, and that really helped Suzie, right...?

Mike: He's not gonna know unless you tell him. And you're not gonna tell him, ARE you?

Greg: You know Brennan, you're becoming a real candidate for prickhood.

Greg: Jesus!

Ferdy: What's that?

Rick: Robot blood!

Greg: What do you do for exercise?

Hobie: Tiddly winks. And an occasional anxiety attack.

Greg: Why'd you cheat on Chole?

Trip: Honestly? I didn't know she'd be home so early... I thought I had another day.

Harry: Why don't you get the young fella another whiskey, Jeff?

Greg: No, no really, I'm a two pot screamer.

Jeff Mitchell: I'm a bit like that myself, two and I'm anybody's.

Greg: Three and I'm everybody's.

Harry: Four and I'm nobody's.

Greg: "Baxter"?

Jeff Mitchell: It's a joke. The footy team, you know. Back's to the...

Greg, Jeff Mitchell: -wall, here comes Jeff.

Lance: [as Potter Hope walks out of the bar to the shootout] Hey listen, the man that's after you just killed my brother. Here's a tip: He draws from the left, so lean to the right.

Potter: He draws from the left so lean to the right.

Greg: Son, I'll let you in on something. Along towards sunset there's a wind from the east. So you better aim to the west.

Potter: He draws from the left so lean to the right. There's a wind from the east so better aim to the west.

Pete: I know this Joe like a book. He crouches when he shoots so stand on your toes.

Potter: [Outside in the street] He draws from the left so lean to the right. There's a wind from the east so better aim to the west. He crouches when he shoots so stand on your toes. Thanks... Growl.

[Goes out into the street]

Potter: He draws from the left so stand on your toes... There's a wind from the east, better lean to the right... He crouches when he shoots, better aim to the west... He draws from his toes, so lean toward the wind. Ah ha! I got it!

Darren: That phone call proves everything.

Greg: All the phone call proves is that you were hiding under their bed!

Greg: I'm glad to see you've learned how to burgle.

Greg: I'm sure it would be his honor to shave your back for as long as you both shall live.

Greg: Financial stability is very important.

Luce: Not as important as not throwing up when someone takes their clothes off.

Greg: It all begins with hysteria. Conversion hysteria.In the late 1800s certain patients suffered from psychic disorders like blindness and paralysis but not organic injuries. They were thought to be bluffing. But if you stick a pin into a paralyzed hysteric's leg, he feels nothing, no pain. At the time Freud began to work with a doctor named Breuer who took hysteria very seriously. By using hypnosis,he managed to return to the patient's past and discovered one or more traumatic events that caused the symptoms. In fact it's an idea a violent but forbidden desire that is so repressed it becomes totally unconscious. Then it resurfaces, but converted into a physical symptom. For example a young woman at her father's sickbed. She tends to him. An incestuous desire appears in her. She thinks Not another step in that direction. So the desire and the thought that comes with it are repressed. But the thing is, it resurfaces in physical form. Here, as a paralysis. To put it simply she can no longer walk. Or in the case of certain neurotics the appearance of phobias or obsessions.

Greg: It's amazing to see just how much our unconscious expresses itself in our daily lives. Through our faulty acts, our Freudian slips. And the projections we make in life. Everything has meaning. The unconscious speaks all the time. It's strange how our unconscious speaks by itself. After all, we usually speak to our entourage consciously, without really being heard. We always talk to ourselves.

Greg: My love of truth is stronger than any morality.

Greg: Are you a masochist? Then why be obedient all the time?

Mina: For the eroticism and the pleasure. It's practical. But I also find a kind of liberation in it. Freedom isn't something very easy to live with. Obedience led me to something different, more profound.To stop thinking. To stop thinking is to be free of pain. Nuns, yogis. They gave me simple advice.Crush my ego. I obeyed. Without asking myself questions. By not thinking, my inner defences fell. So, without even wanting to, I could find previously hidden realities inside myself. In fact, my pain was linked to a profound refusal to accept myself. So the pain slowly diminished. I gradually felt almost totally free. I also began to really know my body, and to use it including as an object of pleasure. I stopped thinking. My constant anxiety disappeared.

Elliott: He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship.

Greg: Well, can't he just beam up?

Elliott: This is *reality*, Greg.

Tyler: [sarcastically] Hey, Elliot, where's your goblin?

Michael: Shut up.

Steve: Did he come back?

Pretty Young Girl: Hi, Elliot.

Greg: Well, did he?

Elliott: Yeah, he came back, but he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.

Steve: Ooh, as in extra-terrestrial!

Tyler: Where is he from, Uranus? Get it? Your anus?

Greg: He doesn't get it, Ty.

Tyler: Get it, your anus?

Greg: He doesn't get it.

Elliott: You're so immature!

Greg: And you're such a cintus suprimus!

Elliott: Zero charisma!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliott: Zero charisma!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliott: Shut up, Greg!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliott: [yells as he rides off on his bike] Zero charisma!

Greg: You wimp!

[watching Elliot's house under quarantine after E.T.'s death]

Steve: Something's happening.

Greg: [sarcastically] Ooh, they're gonna die.

Tyler: Shut up, Greg.

Steve: Something is definitely happening.

[having Elliot order the pizza so he can get in the game]

Greg: And plenty of sausages and pepperonis!

Tyler: Everything but the little fishies.

Greg: Are you all right?

Jess: [staring down one of the ships corridors] I feel like I know this place. I recognize this corridor.

Greg: Well I guess they look pretty similar.

Jess: [worried] No! That's not it!

Greg: [stepping off the yacht Triangle to meet Jess] Jess. You ok?

Victor: I don't think so.

Greg: Hey! What happened?

Greg: [Jess hugs Greg] Hey what's the matter?

Jess: I'm sorry.

Greg: You've got nothing to apologize for. What is it? Are you OK?

Jess: I'm just tired.

Greg: Well listen we don't have to go today if you don't want too.

Jess: [unsure] No I do... I... I... I wanna go

Greg: You sure?

Jess: [Jess looks at the others aboard the yacht Triangle] Yea... yea

Greg: Yea? OK! Come here. Come meet the gang

Greg: [they both step aboard the yacht] This is Sally and her husband Downey. This is Heather Sally's friend. You remember Victor?

Downey: Hi.

Greg: Lets go sailing!

Policeman: Hi, Greg. What keeps you up?

Greg: Insomnia.

Sandy: I used to have a music box like this...

Greg: What's the matter?

Sandy: Beth, she gave it to me on my ninth birthday. I'll never forget it because she was so excited about it... she bought it six months before...

[breaks down and starts crying]

Leo: Sarge, this guy here says he's seen some of your flying saucers.

Fred 'Sarge' Dobbs: You've seen those flying critters. Feisty little things aren't they?

Greg: Yeah, they attacked our van.

Greg: I'm sorry, Sarah. I didn't know your father was still an issue. You don't talk about it anymore.

Sarah: So I should cry about it everyday, that way you can remember?

Greg: [as his head is squashed in a vice] Somebody let me out... somebody help me

Joe, Ray, Chi, Alby, Steve, Sean, Eli, Greg: Baldeya!

Greg: I mean, it's amazing how an idea can take a hold and really bring a person down.