Grandpa Fred Quotes in Sixteen Candles (1984)

Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.

Grandpa Fred: [chuckles] I better go get my magnifying glass.

Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so Perky.

Grandma Helen: [reaches to cup them]

Samantha: [cut to Sam's bedroom] I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.

Randy: [talking on the phone with Samantha] Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.

Samantha: [screams] Aah!

Howard: [Her grandparents are startled by the scream] Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!

Grandpa Fred: Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.

Long Duk Dong: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.

Mike Baker: It's a quiche.

Long Duk Dong: How do you spell?

Grandpa Fred: Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.

[laughs]

Grandpa Fred: Hey Howard, there's your Chinaman.

Howard: Thanks, Fred.

Grandpa Fred: [interviewing Brain Gremlin] Creature what is it that you want?

Brain Gremlin: Fred, what we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you and your viewers have: civilization.

Grandpa Fred: Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?

Brain Gremlin: The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized.

[a Gremlin with a beanie cap acts goofy next to Brain]

Brain Gremlin: You take a look at this fellow here.

[Brain shoots the Gremlin in the head. The Gremlins in the bar laugh. Grandpa Fred and Kujitsu leave]

Brain Gremlin: Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now, bear in mind, none of us has been in New York before. There are the Broadway shows - we'll have to find out how to get tickets. There's also a lot of street crime, but I believe we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes. Complete bedroom groups. Convenient credit, even though we've been turned down in the past.

Grandpa Fred: They put me on at 3am. People who are awake at 3am aren't afraid of the Wolfman. The only thing that frightens those people is sobering up and going to work.

[Stopping Katsuji]

Grandpa Fred: Hey, hey, hey. Can you work a TV camera?

Katsuji: Work a camera? I AM the camera.

Grandpa Fred: Hey, you two, the building's completely screwed up today.

Billy Peltzer: Yeah, we know, Fred.

[Billy and Kate leave]

Grandpa Fred: [smiling, chuckling to himself] Heh heh, you're young. You know everything.