Grandma Lilly Quotes in Grandma's Boy (2006)

Grandma Lilly: [after drinking pot tea] I can hear my... hair growing. You want some soup?

Grandma Lilly: I hate violence, but drugs ARE bad.

Grandma Lilly: Oh listen, your father tells me that you need a place to stay.

Alex: Yeah...

Grandma Lilly: Just so you know, Sophie left us two weeks ago, so her room is available if you need it.

Alex: Oh? Where'd Sophie move to?

Grandma Lilly: Heaven.

Jeff: You're the reason Alex has been tired all week?

Grace: Well, we have been sort of rough on him. But, he is kind of soft if you know what I mean.

Grandma Lilly: We're not used to having a man in the house, so I guess we ride him pretty hard.

Barry: Ohh, that is so gnarly.

Alex: Hey, uh, Sophie didn't die on the bed, did she?

Grandma Lilly: No.

Alex: Good, good, good.

Grandma Lilly: She fell out of bed and died right here.

Alex: Eww!

Grandma Lilly: [ghostly voice] Ohhh... I died on the floor... and *nobody* helped me!

Alex: You have got to be fucking shitting me.

Grandma Lilly: Ohh it's so cold... when you're dead...

Alex: I swear to God, I would've helped you, Sophie. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. I would've helped you. I just wasn't here...

Grandma Lilly: [jumps up] Gotcha!

Alex: Ahh! Oh my God!

Grandma Lilly: You scaredy cat!

Alex: What the hell are you doing, Grandma?

Grandma Lilly: I told you we were going to have fun!

Alex: Wow. That Grace sure makes me feel warm and welcome.

Grandma Lilly: Well, you'd be bitter too if you had four husbands die on you.

Alex: Probably suicides.

[Bea looks horrified]

Alex: It was a joke.

Grandma Lilly: Grace you remember my grandson Alex - our new "roommate."

Alex: [waves]

Grace: How long you stayin'?

Alex: Um, just until I find a new apartment.

Grace: Have a girlfriend?

Alex: No.

Grace: How old are you now?

Alex: I'll be 36 in October.

Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.

Alex: I'm not gay, but, thank you?

Grace: Denial.

Grandma Lilly: Take that, you dirty dopers.

[Alex sees that his bong has become a flower vase]

Alex: Where did you get this vase?

Grandma Lilly: Oh, I found it in your laundry when I was cleaning up. It smelled awful, so I cleaned it. Doesn't it look nice?

Grandma Lilly: Once you got to high school, you just seemed to lose focus. It was probably just puberty.

Alex: [making joint smoking gesture behind her] Yeah, I'm sure it was puberty.