Graham Quotes in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Graham: Cover Optimus!

Graham: No... Eve doesn't see the world like that, good guys and bad guys

Franklin: Yeah well maybe she's been stabbed in the fucking head with a knife... and now she does!

Graham: I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.

Graham: And what did you say?

Iris: I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?

Graham: I can hold while you speak to her.

Iris: Really?

Graham: Find out how she is.

Iris: Okay.

[Iris switches call]

Iris: My brother wants to know how you are.

Amanda: Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?

Iris: I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?

Amanda: Uh, sure.

Iris: Okay. Hold please.

[Iris switches call again]

Iris: I can't believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!

Amanda: [Gasps] He told you that?

Iris: Oh, my God!

Amanda: Oh, my God!

Iris: Oh, my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry.

[Iris switches calls again]

Iris: I can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!

Amanda: Still me.

Iris: Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.

[Call waiting beeps]

Iris: Can I call you back?

Amanda: Sure.

Iris: Okay, bye.

Graham: Call me old fashioned but one doesn't have sex with women who are unconscious.

Sophie: Daddy, she has more marshmallows than I do.

Graham: No she doesn't, you each have five.

[to Amanda]

Graham: You have five too.

Amanda: Thanks

Graham: Well, I cry all the time.

Amanda: You do not.

Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you've ever met.

Amanda: You don't have to be this nice.

Graham: It happens to be the truth.

Amanda: Really?

Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.

Amanda: Shut up.

Graham: I'm a major weeper.

Amanda: You know, I was just thinking why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve? That makes no sense at all. I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out... but you did say you loved me... so I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.

Graham: I have the girls New Year's Eve.

Amanda: Sounds perfect.

Graham: I have a cow and I sew. How's that for "hard to relate to"?

Graham: Long distance relationships can work, you know.

Amanda: Really? I can't make one work when I live in the same house with someone.

Amanda: Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it... makes it complicated.

Graham: That's why it's better to have it... some say.

Amanda: Who is it?

Graham: It's me. Hurry up. It's freezing.

Amanda: Who are you?

Graham: Iris, open the door or I swear I'm gonna take a leak all over your front...

[Amanda quickly opens the door]

Graham: You're not Iris. Or if you are I'm much drunker than I realized. I'm sorry for my profanity. I wasn't expecting you.

Amanda: No, I wasn't expecting you either.

Amanda: Okay, let's say we just make this happen. We each commit to flying back and forth as much as we can.

Graham: Yes! It's doable, definitely.

Amanda: And then let's say in 6 months we hit a wall. Like I can't constantly be away from work or the girls can't deal with you leaving so often. Then we start to feel the tension, we know this isn't going to work, so we start fighting because we don't know what else to do. And after a long, tearful- at your end...

Graham: I like it

[sarcastically]

Graham: .

Amanda: -phone call we say goodbye. And that'll be it, for real. It's not like we're ever going to bump into each other. And then what's left? Two miserable people feeling totally mashed up it hurts. Or...

Graham: Thank you.

Amanda: Or maybe we should just realize that what we've had these past few weeks has been perfect. And maybe it won't get any better than this. And maybe we're trying to figure this thing out because it makes us feel so good to feel this way, and maybe the fact that I'm leaving in 8 hours makes this far more exciting than it might actually be.

Graham: You're seriously the most depressing girl I have ever met.

Amanda: You know Graham, I just broke up with someone and considering you just showed up and you're insanely good-looking and probably won't remember me anyway... I'm thinking we should have sex... If you want.

Graham: Is that a trick question?

Amanda: I'm not going to fall in love with you, I promise.

Graham: Okay. Nicely put. Thank you.

Amanda: No, it's just that I know myself. I'm not sure I even fall in love. Not like the way other people do. How's that for something to admit?

Graham: Well, like I said, Most Interesting Girl Award.

Amanda: I'm gonna try to see that as a compliment.

Graham: You should. Absolutely.

Graham: I'm a full-time dad. I'm a working parent. I'm a mother and a father. I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep. I spend my weekends buying tutus. I'm learning to sew. I'm Mr. Napkin Head!

Graham: I have another scenario for you.

Amanda: Good.

Graham: I am in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I am in love. With you. And I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way- which by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. Can't believe how many times I'm saying it. I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. But I realize I come with a package deal- 3 for the price of 1. And my package perhaps in the light of day isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want, and that in itself is a miracle. And what I want is you.

Amanda: I wasn't expecting 'I Love You'. Can you not look at me like that? I'm trying to find the right thing to say.

Graham: I think if the obvious response doesn't immediately come to you, uh, we can just, we should just talk about something else. Like possibly what a complete ass I am. I do recall you promising me you wouldn't fall in love with me. Must pay better attention.

Amanda: I've never met a guy who talks as much as me. But just for now, be quiet.

Iris: [Iris answers telephone] Hello?

Graham: So are you ever coming home?

Iris: Oh, my God, hi.

Graham: How's it going?

Iris: Great. I met a really nice guy.

Graham: See? And you said you'd never. What's he like?

Iris: He's really cute. I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience. And he's about ninety years old.

Graham: Come on.

Iris: He's my next-door neighbor. Or Amanda's next-door neighbor. By the way you should pop over and meet her.

Graham: Yeah, I have, actually.

Iris: [Call waiting beeps] Oh, bugger. Call waiting. Can you hold for a sec? Hold on. I really wanna talk to you.

Graham: Sure.

Iris: [Iris switches to other call] Hello?

Amanda: Iris, hi, it's Amanda.

Iris: How are you? How's it going?

Amanda: Everything's great. How are you?

Iris: Oh, I'm loving it. Listen, can you hold for a sec? My brother's on the other line.

Amanda: Graham?

Iris: Yes. He said you met.

Amanda: Yes, we did meet. How is he?

Iris: Fine, I think. Can you just hold on for a sec?

Amanda: Sure.

Iris: [Iris switches calls] Okay. Hi, sorry. That was Amanda.

Graham: How'd she sound? How's she doing?

Iris: She just asked me how you are.

Amanda: Are you D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D?

Graham: No W-I-D-O-W-E-R.

Graham: I have the classic male problem of no follow through. Absolutely never remember to call after a date - but as this wasn't a date, I guess I'm off the hook.

Graham: Bad?

Amanda: Weird. Kissing a total stranger.

Graham: Really? I do it all the time.

Amanda: [after finding out they didn't have sex] We didn't? Why not?

Graham: Call me old fashioned, but I don't believe it to be appropriate to have sex with a woman who is unconcious.

Amanda: I'm leaving in nine days and that makes this complicated.

Graham: Ok

[they then passionately kiss]

Graham: Please? Okay, I'll do it quickly.

[Olivia kisses him on cheek]

Graham: Oh, well, thank you for that.

Olivia: You're welcome.

Graham: So you were totally great.

Amanda: Yeah, this is a bitch.

Graham: I have a cow, and I sew. Now how's that for hard to relate to.

Graham: [after Megan sees Graham and Sinead dancing] Megan, it's not what you think.

Megan: That's why we came here, right? So *you* could be yourself.

Graham: I don't like Sinead that way.

Megan: Which way is that, clothed?

Graham: We weren't doing anything.

Megan: Oh, when you were going like this, you weren't doing anything.

Graham: No we, I wasn't, I wasn't doing that!

Megan: It doesn't matter.

Graham: Why are you freaking out?

Megan: It's none of my bussiness. Do what you want.

Graham: You want me to do what I want?

Megan: I could care less.

Graham: What I *really* want?

Megan: Screw you!-

[Graham kisses Megan]

Megan: [after Graham kisses Megan for the first time] I'm not supposed to like you.

Graham: But?

Megan: I wanna do that again.

[Megan kisses Graham]

Megan: Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good.

Graham: Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good.

Megan: Your parents didn't stay very long.

Graham: Well, I imagine it gets uncomfortable sitting that long with a stick up your ass.

Graham: [to Megan] I thought it was just an act, but you really are sweet as fucking pie aren't you?

Hilary: This is where we sleep, but there's no inappropriate behavior allowed.

Megan: Inappropriate? Like swearing?

Graham: No, inappropriate like fucking.

Graham: You are who you are. The only trick is not getting caught!

Megan: How'd YOU end up here?

Graham: I got caught.

Mary: Ok, then, who's left to report out their root? Andre?

Andre: Shit, Ms. Mary, I ain't the only one who ain't got no root.

Mary: Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Ok, who's next? Megan!

Megan: Well, I've really been thinking but I just can't think of anything.

Graham: I think our little Prom Queen is too afraid to disclose.

Megan: Oh, really? What's your root, Graham?

Graham: We're working on your issue here, not mine. You're deflecting.

Mary: Actually, I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.

Graham: My mother got married in pants.

[group applauds]

Mary: All right, let's see, uh, Dolph!

Dolph: Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.

Mary: Hilary?

Hilary: Um, all girl boarding school.

Mary: Sinead.

Sinead: I was born in France.

Mary: Clayton.

Clayton Dunn: My mom let me play in her pumps.

Jan: I like balls.

Mary: Why, thank you for that Jan.

[group applauds]

Mary: Joel?

Joel: Traumatic... bris. So... yeah.

Graham: What, would you tie her to your bed and zap her to death, or are you running low on batteries?

Megan: I'm stuck on "5, 6, 7, 8, God is good..."

Graham: "God is straight!"

Megan: Hey, that's good.

Megan: You didn't tell me you were taking me to a gay bar!

Graham: Well, where else would we go?

Megan: So it sounds stupid to you but I really love it. Cheerleading's the one thing that's kept me happy. It's exhilarating.

Graham: I would love to see you cheer.

Megan: Don't make fun of me!

Graham: No, I'm not. I'm not. Don't you think maybe I'm just jealous that you love something?

Graham: I'm Graham and I like girls. A lot.

Graham: I'm not sticking my hand up anything's arse!

Graham: [to Mikey and Gavin] You two are *so* gay!

[last lines]

Mental Patient: Graham Dorsey?

Graham: Yeah.

Mental Patient: [smiles] We've been expecting you. Welcome.

[first lines]

Graham: It's awful damn quiet.

Drew: [discussing what could happen in Paul were in the psych ward permanently] I definitely don't want any bloody kids coming here and stealing cars and such.

Graham: Well that's exactly what might happen. Or worse.

Mary: What could be worse?

Graham: What if the place were bought by an American?

[everyone gives a horrified gasp]

Drew: It's our duty as a community to gather round one of our number who has hit a dark patch on life's long and winding road.

Drew: Pretending to be a loony's wife to spring him from hospital? Yes, I suspect that's highly illegal!

Graham: Oh, so we could have you arrested for not arresting us.

Graham: So, don't go trying to kill yourself again.

Drew: Apart from anything else, it's against the law.

Graham: It's illegal see?

Paul Kerr: No, I won't. Too many interesting things going on.

[first lines]

Graham: It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk to you right now, okay? I'm having sex with a white woman.

[hangs up, and Ria gets out of bed]

Graham: OK, where were we?

Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.

Graham: Oh, shit. Come on. I would have said you were Mexican, but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.

Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?

Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.

Ria: That's just where I begin to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way, huh?

Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?

Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your fucking ass.

Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?

Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither one of those is Mexico.

Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?

Flanagan: Fucking black people, huh?

Graham: What did you just say?

Flanagan: I mean, I know all the sociological reasons why, per capita eight times more black men are incarcerated than white men... Schools are a disgrace, lack of opportunity, bias in the judicial system, all that stuff... But still... but still, it's... it's gotta get to you, I mean, on a gut level, as a black man. They just can't keep their hands out of the cookie jar.

Flanagan: Actually, we were thinking of you until we saw that. It's your brothers file. Twenty something years old and already three felonys. Three Strikes Law, the kid's going away for life for stealing a car. Christ, that's a shitty law. There's a warrant in there. But still, he had every opportunity you had. Fucking black people, huh?

Graham: So, uh... all I need to do to make this disappear is to frame a potentially innocent man.

Flanagan: What are you? The fucking Defender of All Things White? We're talking about a white that shot three black men and you're arguing with me, that maybe we're not being "fair" to him? You know, what? Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right. Maybe Lewis did provoke this. Maybe he got exactly what was coming to him. Or, maybe, stoned or not, being a black man in the valley was enough to get him killed. There was no one there to see who shot first, so there is no way way to know. Which means, we could get this wrong. Maybe that's what happened with your brother. Maybe we got it wrong. Maybe Lewis isn't the only one who deserves the benefit of the doubt. You're the one closest to all this. You need to tell us. What does your gut tell you?

Graham: Well, fuck you very much. But thanks for thinking of me.

Flanagan: The D.A's squad loses its lead investigator next month. Rick is quite adamant that his replacement be a person of color. It's a high profile position, and he wants to send the right message to the community.

Graham: And the right message is look at this Black Boy I bought?

Graham: I swear to you, Mom. I'll find whoever killed him.

Graham's Mother: Oh, I already know who killed him. You did. I asked you to find your brother, but you were too busy for us. We weren't much good to you anymore, were we? You got things to do. You go ahead. I'll sign the papers.

Cop At Scene: Hey, Detective. Nice entrance.

Graham: Fuck you.

[to Detective Carr]

Graham: Hey.

Detective Carr: You okay?

Graham: I'm freezing.

Detective Carr: Shit. I heard it might snow.

Graham: Get outta here.

Detective Carr: That's what I heard.

Graham: You got a smoke?

Detective Carr: Nah, quit.

Graham: Yeah, me, too. What have you got?

Detective Carr: Dead kid.

Graham: That is a nice gun.

Ria: Well, the car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. And that's not Cindy. That is a William Lewis.

[hands him a wallet]

Ria: Found under the front seat. Hollywood Division.

Graham: Looks like Detective Conklin shot himself the wrong nigga.

Graham's Mother: Did you find your brother?

Graham: No, Ma.

Graham's Mother: Tell him to come home. Tell him I'm not mad, okay? Okay, baby?

Flanagan: Internal affairs says Conklin has two suspicious shootings on his record both black men, both times he was cleared because he cited self defense. Detective Lewis makes black man number three do you know any reason we should investigate further?

Graham: It's more complicated than we originally thought. We found three hundred thousand dollars in the trunk of the car Detective Lewis was driving. The car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. We haven't been able to get in touch with because she apparently left town.

Flanagan: So it wasn't Lewis's car he might not have even known the money was in it.

Graham: You really think you'll be able to make that fly?

Flanagan: we have attorneys for this slain police officer camping in our offices. We have his mother and half a dozen men of "the cloth" who swear that Lewis was one of the twelve apostles of Christ. We have two black city council men and a Congresswoman who called on the hour every hour demanding what the district attorney intends to do about this and you want the DA to walk into that press room and tell them all that the situation is "complicated"? Who knows about the money?

Graham: [Sensing Flanagan is implying a cover up] You've got to be kidding

Flanagan: There's only two people in this room

Graham: Myself, my partner, Jim Ferguson and Internal Affairs

Flanagan: I guess I don't see a problem here as it wasn't Lewis's fault the money isn't evidence of any wrongdoing and even if it was we aren't going to prosecute a dead man which means the money Internal Affairs is holding can't even be considered evidence.

Graham: We can do this whole dance if you want to but I'm willing to bet when the coroner's report comes back tomorrow it's going to say that Lewis was coked out of his head.

Graham: I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love.

Ann: So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right... right?

Graham: Basically.

Ann: Right. And, uh, *we* haven't had sex...

[giggle]

Ann: right?

Graham: So...

Ann: So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take your advice.

Graham: I wouldn't.

John Mullany: I'm sorry?

Graham: No, it's just, I, you know, I just think - right now I have one key and everything I own is in the car, and I just... I like that, you know? I mean, I just, if I get an apartment, that two keys, if I... get a job, you know, I might have to open or close, that's more keys, you know, buy some stuff, I'm afraid it's gonna get ripped off, or something, and I get more keys, and I just, I, you know, I just like having the one key, it's clean.

Ann: You're not gonna worry in losing them, I always lose my keys, I hate that.

Graham: You're right, I've got a lot of problems... But they belong to me.

Ann: You think they're yours, but they're not. Everybody that walks in that door becomes part of your problem. Anybody that comes in contact with you. I didn't want to be part of your problem, but I am. I'm leaving my husband, and maybe I would have anyway, but the fact is, is, I'm doing it now, and part of it's because of you. You've had an effect on my life.

Graham: This isn't supposed to happen. I've spent nine years structuring my life so this didn't happen.

Ann: Nothing's what I thought it was. John's a bastard. Let's make a videotape.

Graham: No, I... ahem... I don't think that's a good idea.

Ann: Why not?

Graham: Because I don't think it's a choice that you'd make in a normal frame of mind.

Ann: And what would you know about a normal frame of mind?

Graham: So, I don't... I don't understand, uh, what made you want to come here. I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me.

Cynthia: Yeah, well, see, um, I don't really listen to Ann when it comes to men. I mean, look at John, for Christ's sake.

Ann: So, all these are... are interviews, huh?

Graham: Uh, yes.

Ann: Can we watch one?

Graham: No, I'd - uh, no.

Ann: Why not?

Graham: Well, I... promised each of the subjects that no one would see the videotapes except for me.

Ann: What are the interviews about?

Graham: The interviews are about sex.

Cynthia: If Ann got freaked out by these, there must be something sexual: are these tapes of you having sex with these girls?

Graham: No, not exactly.

Cynthia: Well, either you are or your aren't; which is it?

Graham: Why don't you let me tape you?

Cynthia: Doing what?

Graham: Talking.

Cynthia: About what?

Graham: About sex... your sexual history, sexual preferences.

Cynthia: What makes you think I'd discuss that with you?

Graham: Nothing.

Cynthia: Hmm. And you just want to ask me questions?

Graham: I just want to ask you questions.

Cynthia: That's all.

Graham: That's all.

Cynthia: Is this how you get off or something? Taping women talking about their sexual experiences?

Graham: Yes.

Ann: You know, my therapist...

Graham: You're in therapy?

Ann: Aren't you?

Ann: I want to know why you are the way you are!

Graham: And I'm telling you it's not any one thing that I can point to and say "That's why!" It doesn't work that way with people who have problems, Ann, it's not that neat, it's not hat tidy! It's not a series of little boxes that you can line up and count. Things just don't happen that way.

Cynthia: [entering Graham's apartment uninvited and unannounced] I'm Cynthia Bishop

Graham: [looking confused] Who?

Cynthia: [interrupting] I'm Ann Mullaney's sister

Graham: The extrovert

Cynthia: She musta been in a good mood when she said that; she usually calls me 'loud.'

Graham: She called you that too!

Ann: What did you think?

Graham: I thought about what you would look like having an orgasm.

Ann: I'd like to know what I look like havin' an orgasm.

[last lines]

Ann: I think it's gonna rain.

Graham: [chuckles] It is raining.

Ann: Yeah.

Ann: What kind of "personal project"?

Graham: A personal project like anyone else's personal project. Mine's just a little more... personal, I guess.

Graham: One woman used up only 3 minutes, and another used three 2-hour tapes.

Cynthia: I was eight years old, and, um, Michael Green, who was also eight, asked if he could watch me take a pee... And I said he could if I could watch him take one, too. So we went to the woods behind my house. And I got this feeling he was chickenin' out cos he kept sayin' "Ladies first!" So I pulled down my little panties and urinated, and he ran away before I even finished.

Graham: Was it a topic of conversation between you after that?

Cynthia: No! He kind of avoided me for the rest of the summer, and then his family moved away... To Cleveland, actually.

Graham: What a shame. When did you finally see a penis?

Graham: Do you have orgasms?

Ann: I don't think so. I mean, I guess, since I'm not sure, that I've never had one.

[to Ann, the first time they meet]

Graham: Have you ever been on television?

Lewis: What's the matter Graham? Mad because you blew the physics test?

Graham: I don't know Lewis. Mad because Mercedes blew the lacrosse team?

Lewis: Blow this!

Graham: [mocking Owen in a british accent] You can't convince me if you can't convince yourself.

Graham: Fame is the first disgrace, because God knows who you are. God knows who YOU are!

Graham: I never pay for sex, Ray, because Jesus Christ paid for our sins.

Graham: Come on then, Ray. Privately trained, Ray. Huh. Ray.

Ray: I could drink you under the table!

Graham: Have to be a small table!

Ray: [smiling] You're gettin' very kittenish.

Graham: [to David] Stop laughin'! You sound like a clam goin' mad!

Graham: [rhetorically to David] You know how to keep an old Englishman happy? Tell him a joke when he's young.

Graham: [to a complete stranger] Hellomanhow'sitgoingman?

[Graham examines the burned corpse that was erroneously thought to be Michael Myers]

Graham: No fillings. He's young. Maybe seventeen, maybe eighteen.

Sam Loomis: Michael Myers is 21.