Grace Hawkins Quotes in Keeping Mum (2005)

Gloria Goodfellow: You can't just go 'round killing people just because you don't approve of them!

Grace Hawkins: You know, that's what my doctors used to say. It was the one point we could never agree on.

[Holly opens the video camera to find Lance had filmed her undressing]

Holly Goodfellow: Who the hell is this guy? I'll kill him!

Grace Hawkins: Oh, that won't be necessary, dear.

Grace Hawkins: This is Grace speaking. Would you like to come out from under the bed?

Gloria Goodfellow: Um... Coming.

Gloria Goodfellow: Aren't we forgetting the small matter of dead bodies?

Grace Hawkins: How did you know about the other bodies?

Gloria Goodfellow: What other bodies?

Grace Hawkins: Oh. You didn't know about the other bodies...

Gloria Goodfellow: WHAT other bodies?

Grace Hawkins: Oh, just Mr. Brown's dog. And... and Mr. Brown.

Gloria Goodfellow: You killed them too?

Grace Hawkins: I did it for you, dear.

[Petey has just seen his bullies' bikes give way under them, not knowing that Grace cut the brake cables]

Petey Goodfellow: Billy Martin's dead! Mummy! Mummy! Billy Martin came after me, but Grace was there and all I said was "broccoli" and now he's dead! Billy Martin's dead! Woo Hoo!

[Petey runs inside cheering]

Gloria Goodfellow: [whispering to Grace] Could we have a word? Is Billy Martin really dead?

Grace Hawkins: [whispers back] No, just unconscious if I'm any judge. But please don't tell Petey; he's so excited.

Grace Hawkins: [on meeting Grant the Goth] Oh, is it Halloween?

Holly Goodfellow: Grace,could you come and look at the pie?

Grace Hawkins: Of course dear.

Holly Goodfellow: I fucked up big time

[closes kitchen window]

Grace Hawkins: I don't think she should use that language dear, I really don't.

Grace Hawkins: She said herself she had a dicky heart.

[Gloria sees Lance's dead body in his car]

Gloria Goodfellow: Oh Jesus Christ.

Grace Hawkins: It's all right. I didn't chop him up or anything grisly like that. Where are you going?

Gloria Goodfellow: I'm not doing it.

Grace Hawkins: But I can't drive.

Gloria Goodfellow: I'm not getting in the car.

Grace Hawkins: I'm a learner. Officially I need someone with me.

Gloria Goodfellow: I would say under the circumstances the normal rules do not apply.

Gloria Goodfellow: This cannot go on mother, I've had enough.

Grace Hawkins: I understand you're upset.

Gloria Goodfellow: Too bloody right I'm upset, I've got two dead bodies. One in the pond and one in the sitting room.

Grace Hawkins: No, you've got three dead bodies in the pond because you're forgetting...

Gloria Goodfellow: Grace, this has gone far enough. And I mean it.

Gloria Goodfellow: I wonder if he's found that dog yet.

Grace Hawkins: Oh, Mr Brown's on holiday.

Gloria Goodfellow: Oh? Where?

Grace Hawkins: I think he said 'down under'.

Grace Hawkins: It was a simple misunderstanding. It could happen to anyone.

Grace Hawkins: You know, men do sometimes lose their way, dear. I mean, Walter is a sweet soul, but he's a bit slow-witted like the rest of them.

Gloria Goodfellow: So you were married too?

Grace Hawkins: Yes I was. A long time ago.

Gloria Goodfellow: Did he lose his way?

Grace Hawkins: With a little help from another woman.

Gloria Goodfellow: Ohh...

Grace Hawkins: Completely lost his head over her.

Grace Hawkins: It's not as though anyone's going to miss her.

Grace Hawkins: Have you thought about sex?

Reverend Walter Goodfellow: What?

Grace Hawkins: The Bible. It's full of sex, haven't you noticed? Song of Solomon?

Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Ah yes, but that's a song between a devout man and God.

Grace Hawkins: No. It's about sex. You read it again vicar.

Grace Hawkins: Good old broccoli, eh? Shall we have some for supper?

Grace Hawkins: Oh my. Aren't you a busy bee?

Holly Goodfellow: Is she...?

Grace Hawkins: Yes, I believe she is.

Holly Goodfellow: Oh God, oh God, oh God.