Grace Quotes in Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Grace: Oh, Lord.

[Jigsaw and his gang break into the Donatelli home]

Grace: Mommy!

Loony Bin Jim: Boo.

Billy Russoti: Hello, Mrs. Donatelli or will you be calling yourself "Miss" from now on?

Angela: What do you want from us?

Billy Russoti: I'm looking for my money, which your rat of a husband stole from me.

Angela: But we don't have it, I swear to God!

[Jigsaw considers that, then lunges down, putting his face next to Grace's]

Billy Russoti: How about you, sweet cheeks? Would you also like to swear on an imaginary friend?

Grace: You're standing in my light.

Frank Castle: [hands her a flashlight] Here you go, for the next time someone is standing in your light.

Angela Donatelli: [aiming a pistol] Step the fuck away from my little girl!

Grace: Mom, that's a Dad word.

Angela Donatelli: Go inside, Grace!

[Grace goes inside]

Angela Donatelli: You're messing with the wrong family on the wrong day, asshole.

[Frank turns to face her]

Angela Donatelli: You! You look... what are you doing here? What makes you think you can come here?

Frank Castle: You have a scared little girl.

Angela Donatelli: Shut up, just shut your mouth.

Frank Castle: I'm sorry.

Angela Donatelli: I said shut up!

[He pushes the bag at his feet toward her]

Angela Donatelli: What's this?

Frank Castle: Something to help out.

Angela Donatelli: No. No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to shoot my husband in cold blood and then stop at the ATM.

Grace: It's for your daughter.

Angela Donatelli: [takes aim at his chest] This is what you deserve. What you did to Nick! Who punishes *you*?

Frank Castle: He taught you how to shoot. A good agent keeps his family safe, they can't always be here. Took you out to the range, showed you what to do.

[he takes the gun and presses the muzzle to his chest]

Frank Castle: This is what you do. Squeeze, don't pull.

Grace: [from inside] I can't find my red pen. Mom, I need it.

[Long, tense silence. Angela backs off and lowers the gun]

Angela Donatelli: Take it.

[she goes inside whilst he takes the money and leaves]

Ivan Korshunov: I know what you're thinking, First Lady. You want me dead. Well, it might come to that. In the war, people die.

Grace: This isn't war! You just murdered an unarmed woman.

Ivan Korshunov: You, who murdered a 100,000 Iraqis to save a nickel on a gallon of gas. Are going to lecture me about the rules of war? Don't!

President James Marshall: Did you hear my speech?

Grace: Yeah.

President James Marshall: Yeah?

Grace: You're gonna get yourself re-elected.

President James Marshall: That's what I keep telling them.

Ivan Korshunov: You've been very busy downstairs, haven't you? Killing my men?

Ivan Korshunov: [Slaps President Marshall's face after been tied with tape]

Ivan Korshunov: [Punches President Marshall's stomach]

Ivan Korshunov: [Lies down President Marshall against a desk and takes his gun and points it at his head]

Grace: NO!

President James Marshall: You don't want to do that. I'm what you came for, don't forget that.

Ivan Korshunov: Then i'll kill them. Or just one, you pick. That's what you do in the White House? you play God.

Grace: She couldn't stay your little girl forever Jim.

President James Marshall: I know. But I was hoping she could wait until she was 14 or 15... or 50.

[Ivan has just killed Melanie Mitchell]

Ivan Korshunov: I know what you're thinking First Lady,you want me dead. Well we may come to that. You see people do die in wars.

Grace: This isn't war! YOU JUST MURDERED AN UNARMED WOMAN!

Grace: You still have faith... that's good.

Sarah: Gotta name?

Grace: Grace. So what?

Sarah: My name is Sarah. Listen, Grace, maybe you wanna get some hot coffee and a little bit of food.

Grace: What do you want?

Sarah: Nothing.

Grace: Nice knife.

Scott: Yeah. Got it off an East German fella.

Grace: He give it to ya for a gift?

Scott: No. As I recall, he was... rather reluctant to part with it.

Grace: Yeah, I always knew you Marines were a weepy buncha motherfuckers.

Scott: I got something in my eye.

Grace: I know the forest like the back of my hand. I wouldn't have missed a dragon.

Meacham: You missed Pete.

Grace: Guess you heard about the boy.

Meacham: I did. You know, word travels fast in this town. How long has he been out there?

Grace: Six years.

Meacham: Six years? Nobody can survive in that forest for six years. At least not alone.

Grace: Well... He says... He says he wasn't alone.

Grace: [from trailer] You don't have to run anymore, Pete. You can stay with us.

Grace: [to Pete] You're very brave. Did you know that? You might be the bravest boy I've ever met.

Grace: I finally meet a guy who likes me for me. And I'm not even me.

Maggie: It's payback time! Cover me!

Grace: With what?

Grace: [on Buck] Definitely bi-polar.

Grace: [singing badly off key] She'll be coming 'round the mountain she'll be coming 'round the mountain, she'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes...

Maggie: She'd better hurry up around that mountain, 'cause I can't take this much longer.

Grace: [to a bull] Let me guess, you're a Taurus?

Grace: Now, let's not play the shame and blame game. This is an organic problem, and there's a holistic solution.

Jeb: You don't get this whole farm concept, do you, sister?

Grace: Maggie is some fun, isn't she?

Mrs. Calloway: [scoffing] Teaching pigs to throw food. As if they weren't sloppy enough.

Grace: What kind of sheriff's office was that?

Mrs. Calloway: Saloon girls? Gambling? How does he ever get any work done?

Maggie: If that's the sheriff's office, this town rocks!

[last lines]

Grace: All I've wished for in life is to belong, to love and be loved, without doubt, without judgement, without condition.This will be my fairytale.

Grace: The idea of my life as a fairytale is itself a fairytale.

Grace: Maybe I'm naive, but I believe in fairytales. I do, I believe they can exist if we really want them to. If, if we're prepared to work hard enough. I believe that the world will not always be full of hatred and conflict, if we're willing to sacrifice enough.

Francis Tucker: You belong here.

Grace: [panicking] I can't do this without you.

Francis Tucker: If your family is to survive, you need to give them an ideal they can protect. And you need to do it alone.

Grace: Do you believe in fairytales, Tuck?

Francis Tucker: No, I believe in "happily ever after."

Count Fernando D'Aillieres: You must know exactly where to place each of these individuals in the pecking order, because almost every single one of them makes a profession to flatter and deceive.

Grace: So how will I know who to trust?

Count Fernando D'Aillieres: You won't. You're the Princess in Europe's oldest court, the target of all those hidden agendas. To rule is such a privilege.

Count Fernando D'Aillieres: It's another role for you to play.

Grace: I've reached my decision. I've thought about it, and... you'll have to find someone else to do the role.

Hitchcock: Is everything all right, Gracie?

Grace: Yes, everything's fine. I'm sorry, and good luck.

Hitchcock: Just remember, darling, don't stand too close to the edge of frame.

Princess Antoinette: And how long do you think you will last here?

Grace: Long enough to see the back of you.

Grace: Every achievement was a disappointment.

Grace: He loves an image of me.

Ed Rooney: Ed Rooney.

Cameron: [disguising voice as George Peterson] Ed. This is George Peterson.

Ed Rooney: How are you today, sir?

Cameron: [voice disguised] Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard.

Ed Rooney: Yeah I heard, and man, I'm all broken up, boy, what a blow.

Cameron: [disguised] Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it's been a tough morning and we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane, I'd appreciate it.

Ed Rooney: Uh, yeah, sure, no I'd be happy to, yeah you, uh, you you just produce a corpse, and uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand.

Grace: Ed?

Ed Rooney: It's alright, Grace, it's Ferris Bueller the little twerp. I'm gonna set a trap and let him fall right in it.

Grace: Ooh!

Cameron: [disguised] I'm sorry, Ed, did you say you wanted to see a body?

Ed Rooney: Yeah, that's right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I'll dig up your daughter. You know that's school policy.

Cameron: [disguised] Oh.

Ed Rooney: Was this your mother?

Cameron: [disguised] Uh, no my wife's mother.

Grace: [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney's office.

Ferris: Hi this is Ferris Bueller, can I speak to Mr. Rooney please? Thank you.

Grace: [caught off-guard] Uh... hold.

Ed Rooney: Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole' white butt.

Grace: ED!

Ed Rooney: Pucker up butter-cup.

[to Grace]

Ed Rooney: What?

Grace: Ferris Bueller's on line 2.

Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

[hearing a fake phone message]

Sloane: [crying on machine] We can't come to the phone right now. We've had a... death in the family.

Ed Rooney: Grace, Ferris Bueller is behind this. There is no doubt in my mind, and now, he's got Sloane Peterson involved in this thing.

Grace: Her grandmother, too.

Ed Rooney: You pinhead.

Sloane: [sobbing] If you need to reach us, we'll be at the following number...

[sobbing becomes hysterical and over the top]

Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.

Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... It's true.

Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas.

Grace: Mmm-hmm.

Ed Rooney: Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body.

Grace: Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.

Ed Rooney: Thank you, Grace. I think you're wrong.

Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

Ed Rooney: That is why I have got to catch him this time- To show these kids the example he sets is a first class ticket to nowhere!

[he hands Grace some papers]

Grace: Oh, Ed, you sounded like Dirty Harry just then.

Ed Rooney: Really?

Grace: Uh-huh

Ed Rooney: [scoffs lightly] Thanks, Grace.

[Jeannie enters Mr. Rooney's office]

Grace: Hello, Jeannie. Who's bothering you now?

Jeannie: Is Mr. Rooney in?

Grace: No, I'm sorry. He's not. May I help you?

Jeannie: I seriously doubt it. When's he back?

Grace: Well, I don't know. He's left the school grounds on personal business.

Jeannie: What's that supposed to mean?

Grace: Well, I believe that it's personal and it's none of your business, young lady.

Jeannie: [scoffs] Nice attitude.

Grace: Isn't Mrs. Hagel expecting you in Consumer Ed. class?

Jeannie: Probably.

[Departs]

Grace: Mmm-mmm-mmm. What a little asshole.

Grace: [a while after the first time Rooney yelled at "Sloane's Dad"] Peterson home on line one. And watch your mouth this time.

Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.

Grace: Well with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.

Grace: Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then.

Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.

Grace: You love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back...

Miss Hannigan: You can have any orphan in the whole orphanage... except Annie.

Grace: Well, why?

Miss Hannigan: Because she's got it comin' to her; and I *don't* mean 'a week in the lap of luxury'!

Grace: The swimming pool is down the stairs.

Annie: Inside the house? Oh. boy.

Grace: The tennis court is in the rear.

Annie: I never even picked up a racket.

Grace: What? Have an instructor here at noon. And get that Don Budge fellow if he's available.

Annie: I think I'm gonna like It here.

Grace: We got Annie!

Asp: We got Annie!

Punjab: We got Annie!

Daddy Warbucks: Your teeth are crooked.

Grace: I'll get them fixed.

Daddy Warbucks: I like them crooked.

Grace: [whispering] I'll leave 'em.

Grace: What about this child?

Miss Hannigan: Annie?... Oh, you don't want Annie.

Grace: Why not?

Miss Hannigan: Because... Because she's a drunk!

Grace: Miss Hannigan. I am the private secretary to Oliver Warbucks.

Miss Hannigan: The Oliver Warbucks? Oliver Warbucks, the millionaire?

Grace: Oh no. Oliver Warbucks, the billionaire.

Miss Hannigan: Mary, mother of God.

Miss Hannigan: What did you say your name was?

Grace: Grace Farrell

Miss Hannigan: Ah, Grace, aptly name.

Grace: Annie, how would you like to spend a week with Mr. Warbucks at his house?

Annie: Oh boy! I would love to. I would really, really love to.

Annie: Who would want to kill Mr. Warbucks?

Grace: The Bolsheviks, dear. He's living proof that the American system really works and the Bolsheviks don't want anyone to know about that.

Annie: The Bolsheviks? Leapin' lizards!

Bruce: [breaking out of a freeze] Hi, Susan!

Grace: Oh, thank you, God.

Bruce: Bruce Nolan here, aboard the Maid of the Mist in fabulous Niagara Falls, New York.

Bruce: First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the "blue heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?

Grace: [gasps in disbelief]

Bruce: Hmm. I guess that's how life is, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid hat, while others are in a comfy news studio, suckin' up all the glory. Oh, well. No big deal.

[mashes and discards stupid umbrella hat]

Control Booth Operator: Oh, boy.

Bruce: Oh, look! It's the owner of the Maid of the Mist. Let's have a talk with him, shall we? Come on in here, Bill...

Bill, Ferry Owner: That's all right.

Bruce: No, no, no, no. No, no. Come on, let's have a talk.

Grace: Come on. What are you *doing*?

Bruce: Bill, you've been running the Maid of the Mist for 23 years now. Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?

Bill, Ferry Owner: Hey, man, I don't want any problems...

Bruce: [messes his hair] Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, is the bedrock

[shouts]

Bruce: of my life, eroding beneath me?

[sticking his face into the camera]

Bruce: Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding.

Jack: Cut the feed. Cut to black.

Control Booth Operator: I'm on it.

Bruce: I'm Bruce Nolan for Eyewitness News. Back to you, fuckers!

Grace: Debbie won the lottery.

Bruce: Oh, yeah? You're kidding.

Grace: But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.

Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.

Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.

Bruce: [Grace is in the kitchen washing up. Bruce grabs her from behind and pulls her into a kiss] Morning.

Grace: [Cheerful and giggly] Good morning. I made you grilled cheese.

Bruce: [He sits down at the dinner table] Ooo, my favey.

Grace: Honey last night was just...

Bruce: Heavenly? I know, I know...

Grace: I mean, you know, I woke up this morning and I felt like... like my boobs were bigger. I mean, do they look bigger to you?

Bruce: [Accidentally squirts ketchup all over his sandwich] Uh, what? Your... uh... bigger?

Grace: Oh come on!

[She jiggles her boobs for him]

Grace: Look at them, please! They are definitely bigger, I mean, look, they feel huge to me!

Bruce: Listen, I uh, have to go. But this has been the breast beck... breast... thank you.

[Kisses her]

Grace: Where are you going?

Bruce: [He turns around, confident] To get my job back.

Bruce: Love me. Love me.

Grace: ...I did.

Bruce: [Grace is sat on the sofa, putting together a photo album. She hears Bruce singing from outside the door] What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on a us, tryin' to make his way...

[She opens the door, and Bruce is stood there]

Bruce: .hooooOOOOOOME!

Grace: Oh my God.

Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

Grace: What happened you you? You seem so-

[He interrupts her with a kiss]

Grace: ... happy.

Bruce: Why shouldn't I be? On a night like this.

[He presents her with some flowers]

Grace: Ooooh... those are amazing! What are these?

Bruce: They're a new breed. Cross-pollination between tulips and daisies. I call them... tudaisies.

Grace: Okay...

[She walks away into the kitchen to get a vase]

Grace: Honey, these flowers are really beautiful. But last night...

Bruce: Last night I was only human.

[He backs away seductively]

Bruce: Barry help me out here.

[the stereo magically turns on to Barry White's "Never Never Gonna Give You Up]

Grace: I'll be out in a minute!

Bruce: Don't rush yourself! Sometimes anticipation can heighten the... pleasure.

[Growls]

Grace: [Grace's vagina is filled with pleasure, and her knees buckle, causing her to hold onto the sink for support] Oh God! Oh!

Bruce: It's a funny thing about pleasure.

Grace: Wow.

Bruce: It can be quite...

[yells]

Bruce: PLEASURABLE!

Grace: [Grace's vagina is filled with even more pleasure, and she falls onto the toilet seat, knocking over several bottles as she does] Oh my God.

Bruce: [Bruce thrusts his hands in Grace's direction, and starts sending pleasure to her with his mind] Pleasurable pleasurable pleasurable...

Grace: [Grace writhes in sexual ecstasy on the seat, as she suddenly has the most powerful orgasm of her life] Oh God!

[Moaning]

Grace: Oh Good God!

[She collapses onto the floor, overcome with sexual delight]

Bruce: ...pleasurable pleasurable.

[the bathroom door opens, and Bruce quickly stops chanting, and adopts a casual pose. Grace is stood in the doorway, using it for support. She runs at Bruce, who grabs her by the ass, and throws her down onto the bed]

Grace: [Outside their apartment, we see their lights flickering, and hear Grace's loud moans of sexual bliss]

Bruce: [Bruce cries out triumphantly]

Grace: So God is picking on you?

Bruce: No, he's ignoring me completely!

Grace: Honey, hi , wow!

[Gasps as she looks up at the sky, seeing the moon, which Bruce has brought closer to the Earth]

Grace: I've never seen the moon that big!

Bruce: Yeah...

[Bruce starts running his hands through Grace's hair sensually]

Bruce: We really shouldn't waste it.

[Bruce and Grace start making out passionately, as a divinely-caused meteor shower lights the sky behind them]

Bruce: Bedroom?

Grace: [Grace breaks the kiss] Five minutes!

[Grace runs into the bathroom to prepare for sex]

Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.

Bruce: See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush.

Bruce: [Bruce turns around from a mirror and sees the dog urinating on a chair] Grace, the dog!

Grace: I'm in the shower!

Bruce Nolan: Newsflash! I'm not okay. I'm not okay with a mediocre job. I'm not okay with a mediocre apartment. I'm not okay with a mediocre life!

Grace: Is that what you think we have? A mediocre life?

Bruce Nolan: Don't make this about you.

Grace: About me? This isn't about me. It's about you. It's always about you!

Bruce Nolan: Perfect. PERFECT! I'll have the worst day of my life with a side order of guilt please!

Mother: [Bruce drives up in his fancy car] What the heck is that?

Grace: Oh, Bruce's new car.

Mother: Ok...

Grace: [Bruce gets out of the car and walks towards her] I am mad at you.

Bruce: I know you are, and you have every right to be.

[He pulls out a bouquet of flowers]

Bruce: But I have flowers.

Grace: What are those?

Bruce: They're a hybrid of sunflowers and lilies. I call 'em "sillies". 'Cause they're a little mixed up like me.

Grace: [after Bruce was attacked by hoodlums] Oh, thank God you're all right.

Bruce: Yeah, let's thank God, shall we? For his blessings are raining down upon me. Wait, that's not rain!

Bruce: [He finishes his report, and Grace comes up to him] Hey...

[They kiss]

Bruce: How was that?

Grace: That was great.

Bruce: Yeah?

Grace: That was really great.

[They kiss again]

Grace: Now you still have to go over there. They nurse is waiting.

Bruce: Oh... do I have to?

Grace: Oh it's not gonna hurt. In fact I think you'll find it quite pleasurable.

Bruce: Ooo baby.

Bruce: [Grace has walked out angrily after catching Bruce kissing Susan Ortega. Bruce is running after her] Grace! Grace, come here! Grace, this is so weird, I was just calling you!

Grace: Oh yeah, what, and you thought like Susan's mouth was the phone?

Bruce: She kissed me! I'm the kissee!

Grace: Yeah, you were putting up a really big fight!

Bruce: I tried to fight her off. I tried to stop her, but she's really strong. Okay, I screwed up! Can I make it up to you?

Grace: Yeah! Why don't you get me a boat, Bruce?

Bruce: What?

Grace: Yeah, a big boat! And then maybe two big bags of cash? Then, then I'll be happy. Lots of money and lots of stuff! Other people want idiotic crap like getting married or having babies with the man that they've loved for 5 years, but not me Bruce! Just gimme the boat!

[She gets in the car]

Bruce: No wonder you stayed single! Grace, don't do this!

Grace: I'm not doing it! I'm undoing it. I'll be at Debbie's, you take care of Sam until I can make arrangements.

[She drives off]

Bruce: You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'm the Omega, baby! Okay fine. I don't need you!

Bruce: [He finds a particular photo amongst the others] Woah, hold the phone. I like this one. Our weekend at the lake.

Grace: How did you get that? That's supposed to be in our private stash.

Bruce: [Staring at it] You look perky, hun. Must've been cold.

Grace: Alright just give it to me.

Bruce: You know I think I'll put this on my computer and use it as a wallpaper.

Grace: Okay, Bruce, give it to me! Come on!

[She tries to get it off him]

Bruce: Hey! Hey! No no no!

Grace: Alright fine. Do with it what you will. I don't care.

Bruce: I will do with it what I will. You know, I might even send this into Playboy. I hear their layouts can be quite tasteful.

Grace: Give that to me, right now!

[She pounces on him]

[from deleted scene]

Grace: I don't want a dog that craps in a toilet!

[Fred is moaning, the male cop knocks on the window]

Male Cop: Are you okay?

Grace: Don't worry. This isn't what it looks like.

Fred: Yeah, it isn't.

Grace: I was giving him a faux-job.

Male Cop: A faux-job?

Female Cop: Yeah, that's when a woman goes south on a man but she doesn't use her mouth. So she uses her hands and makes noises.

Fred: Wait, what?

Maggie: The way I see it, husbands are like a couple of cats. They're completely domesticated, and the first time you let them out they're so paralyzed with fear they'll come running back inside.

Grace: Yeah. But we're not talking about cats, we're talking about dogs!

Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.

Jeff: Wow, was he silent?

Grace: Not after I got through with him.

Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...

Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!

Grace: Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!

Grace: [as Bea and Lilly are transfixed by the Food Network] Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin.

Jeff: You're the reason Alex has been tired all week?

Grace: Well, we have been sort of rough on him. But, he is kind of soft if you know what I mean.

Grandma Lilly: We're not used to having a man in the house, so I guess we ride him pretty hard.

Barry: Ohh, that is so gnarly.

Bea: I'm an antique!

Grace: Yes you are.

Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.

Grace: What's that?

Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.

Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my...

[thinks hard]

Grace: 3,000-something.

Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.

Grace: So how much time do we have?

Jeff: Oh, at least enough time to 69.

Grandma Lilly: Grace you remember my grandson Alex - our new "roommate."

Alex: [waves]

Grace: How long you stayin'?

Alex: Um, just until I find a new apartment.

Grace: Have a girlfriend?

Alex: No.

Grace: How old are you now?

Alex: I'll be 36 in October.

Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.

Alex: I'm not gay, but, thank you?

Grace: Denial.

Bebe: [Referring to the stink bomb] We did it!

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: Great! Did you pull the tab?

Grace: [Confused] We didn't pull anything.

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: [Angrily] You were supposed to pull it, you freaks!

Grace: She's a hermit?

Bebe: Isn't that some kind of animal?

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: PERMIT, you IDIOTS!

Grace: [Distracts Mary Anne so Cokie can talk to Logan] Mary Anne

Bebe: Mary Anne!

Mary Anne Spier: [Confused] Hi!

Grace, Bebe: [Sarcastically] Hi!

Mary Anne Spier: Yeah.

[about to leave]

Grace: [Stops her] Wait! What, um, classes are you taking next year?

Mary Anne Spier: I don't really know yet. Why?

Grace: [Bebe and Grace look at each other] Can I try on your riding pants?

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: [flirting] Logan, I meant to call you.

Logan Bruno: Oh, yeah?

Kristy Thomas: [Arrives with Jackie] Get lost, Cokie.

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: Hello, Kristin.

[Referring to Jackie]

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: Oh, you have a date. And I can see his age is the same as your I.Q.

Kristy Thomas: Who let you out of that bat cave, Margarite?

Bebe: She hates to be called that.

Grace: [Laughs] That's your real name?

Margarite 'Cokie' Mason: No... it's the mumbling of an idiot.

Grace: You've never worked a day in your life. How can you be exhausted?

Anthony: You told, you told your friend Bernice I'm some kind of jet pilot?

Grace: What was I supposed to say, they stuck you in an insane asylum?

Anthony: It wasn't an insane asylum, Grace. I explained to you back then that it was for exhaustion.

Grace: Exhaustion?

Anthony: Yes, exhaustion.

Grace: You haven't worked a day in your life. How could you be exhausted?

Grace: When are you coming home?

Anthony: I can't come home, Grace, I'm an adult.

Grace: [while visiting an Asian arranged apartment] This place is heaven! It has been photographed for magazines.

David Abbott: I think I told you I need something furnished.

Grace: Oh, it is furnished.

David Abbott: Where's the couch?

Grace: So, you want to get a drink here or go out? Do you need to eat?

Burt Farlander: Oh, we don't want to go out there. Not right now. No, it's like an oven.

Grace: Yeah, it's pretty hot.

Burt Farlander: No, no, I mean literally, like an oven. Like if you were in an oven, that's what it would be like. It's almost like God's trying to melt us all down and make something better.

Grace: Wow, Burt, that's so stoney.

Burt Farlander: Well, it's just the Bible.

Daughter: Mom, when are we gonna get a real Christmas tree?

Grace: When they're free!

Frank Cross: Grace, put yourself down for a towel, too.

Grace: What about my bonus?

Frank Cross: Towel and a facecloth.

[Frank notices a picture of Santa and Mrs. Claus on the wall]

Frank Cross: Grace, what in the hell is this?

Grace: Oh, it's a painting, one of my kids did. See, there's Santa Claus and there's Mrs. Claus.

Frank Cross: Honey, how many fingers does Mrs. Santa Claus have here?

Grace: Eleven.

Frank Cross: Eleven. Right.

[rips it down]

Frank Cross: It's crap. Lose it. I don't want it on the wall.

[tosses it in the wastebasket]

Frank Cross: You're staying here with me. We're working late.

Grace: But I have to take my son to the doctor.

Frank Cross: GRACE! When I work late, YOU work late!

Grace: But I made the appointment two months ago!

Frank Cross: [Inconsiderately] I DON'T CARE!

Frank Cross: [grabbing Grace]

Frank Cross: We're indivisible. If I'm working late, you GOTTA work late! If you can't work late, I can't work late! If I can't work late, I CAN'T WORK LATE!

Grace: Sometimes in art, like in life, you have to accept the fact that your things aren't going right, and you don't quite know where you're going, and you have to accept that. Because that's when transformation can happen.

[last lines]

Jude: Hey, the men are doing all the heavy lifting. Seems a little sexist to me. How about you, Zoe?

Zoe: It's not about equal division of labor. It's about an equitable and efficient allocation of resources.

Grace, Diane: Right on!

[laughter]

Diane: They hate me.

Grace: It's difficult for kids to accept that their parents are human.

Grace: It may be you are from old people, or from offspring taken soon out of their mothers' laps. And here you are, the mothers' laps. It is not chaos or death. It is form, union, plan. It is eternal life. It is happiness.

Grace: Exclusion is an necessary violence, don't you think?

Grace: Why does the past mean so much to you?

Diane: This coming from a woman who still thinks it's 1967.

Diane: In truth, there's no record of my being born at Woodstock.

Grace: I don't need a record. The truth is writ on my soul... among other places.

Grace: [driving for a hug] Oh, oh, I suppose my little chicks are getting ready yo fly the coop.

Jake: I thought we were peacocks.

Grace: Speaking of fertility, you know what tonight is, don't you? Full moon!

Diane: Oh, no... no...

Grace: Why not? Zoe's real excited about it.

Diane: No, she has to take Jake on his date with Tara, she has to chaperon.

Grace: Diana, honey, don't be a cock block. He creates enough obstacles on his own.

Diane: Mom, could you please not say "cock block"?

Grace: Emma Rae, I have a cookbook to put out, and a daughter to raise, and the God damn winter Grand Prix. And I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve, so please, don't ask me to stop and think!

[Emma Rae knees Eddie in the groin]

Emma Rae: Grace, the lying cheating sack of shit is here.

Eddie Bichon: [on the floor] Can't... breathe...

Grace: Oh, my God. Emma Rae, what did you do?

Emma Rae: Well, you said to keep him busy. He's busy holding his nuts.

Grace: Oh, my God. Eddie, are you all right?

Eddie Bichon: No!

Grace: Help me get him up.

Eddie Bichon: No! You stay the hell over there!

Emma Rae: Don't worry. I wouldn't walk that far to help you up.

Grace: My God, Emma Rae. What is the matter with you?

Emma Rae: Consider it a blow for your dignity.

Grace: What is dignified about kicking somebody in the balls?

Emma Rae: Well, I feel better.

Eddie Bichon: If you didn't want to get married why did you?

Grace: Why'd you ask me?

Eddie Bichon: Why'd I ask you?

Grace: Yeah, you're the one who hasn't even stopped dating yet!

Grace: Oh don't you lay that on me! I have orgasms everyday I've just gotten so use to having them when you're not in the room.

Eddie Bichon: Well that's just GREAT!

Wyly King: You understand what I'm saying?

Grace: I think so.

[clears throat]

Grace: You're telling me that if I just, eat shit politely with a knife and fork, and just learn to swallow the handfuls of bullshit that he serves up to me then everything will be just a-okay. Is that it daddy? I mean that's what you're saying isn't it daddy? I mean isn't-

[spills food, gets up and walks away]

Grace: Daddy, I'm sorry.

Wyly King: Don't be.

Grace: I'm not.

Grace: Yeah, I just want to ask how many people here has NOT had sex with my husband?

Robbie: Why are you doing this for us?

Grace: Someone gave me a chance once and it changed my life. And it sure sounds like you two could do with some luck.

Tibet: [Tibet is running an improbably sophisticated film-making class for 10-year-olds] Gracie, would you mind briefing our guest on today's project?

Grace: We are doing a shot for shot remake of a scene from "The Birds."

Grace: Alex thinks I'm insane.

Robyn Graves: It's his favorite diagnosis.

Robyn Graves: Why do we waste our time with men!

Grace: [who is a lesbian] Not all of us do.

Joseph: What's going on? Whose dog is this?

Grace: Mom's. She saved his life.

Beth: He's not mine. I'm just gonna find him a home.

Joseph: Why is he here?

Beth: I just couldn't let them take him to the pound. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna call a few rescue societies tomorrow and somebody's gonna want him.

Joseph: Yeah, but not us, right? We're not getting a dog, right?

Grace: I think you should keep him. I'll help.

Joseph: You're at school. She's not gonna come back every morning and walk the dog and neither am I.

Beth: I wouldn't mind doing that.

Joseph: Beth, I don't want a dog.

Beth: I told you, I'm gonna find him a home.

Joseph: Yeah, I know you.

Beth: And what's that supposed to mean?

Grace: That was Dr. Bhoola.

Joseph: Who?

Grace: The veterinarian. He's gonna stop by.

Beth: What is he... He's coming here now?

Grace: Yeah, he has some medicine or something. I'm gonna use your shower 'cause it's filthy in here.

Joseph: The veterinarian makes house calls?

Beth: He's very attractive.

Grace: [to Freeway] Ooh. Here is a giraffe. What kind of assholes have left you out here all alone? Huh?

Joseph: [on the phone] Tell me about Bora Bora.

Grace: Amazing. You gotta come here someday. Dad, Sam and I can't stop talking about the wedding. It was just what we hoped. And I know you didn't want Freeway in the ceremony, but you have to admit it was sweet.

Joseph: [Last lines]

[answers his phone]

Joseph: Gracie?

Grace: Dad. Are you guys still up on the mountains? What's going on?

Joseph: Oh, well, we were having so much fun.

Grace: I'm so glad you guys took a few days to unwind. We've been having the best time. I love being married. Oh and dad, how's Freeway?

Joseph: Freeway? Freeway's fine.

Sir Charles: Are you sure you can handle the situation? Marrying a man who thinks he is god?

Grace: Happens all the time.

Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Anything you care for? The Grand Canyon? A disused banana factory? Absolution?

Grace: A white wedding.

Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Would next Tuesday suit you?

[first lines]

Grace: [answers the door in her robe]

John Person: Hi. Oh, Grace, I'm sorry. I thought I heard you moving around in there. Um, listen, I can't decide.

Grace: Did you hear - about the callback?

John Person: No, not yet. I've got some new head shots.

Grace: What happened to your furniture?

John Person: I had to sell it all.

Grace: Even Your bed?

John Person: Yeah. I'm not gonna need it.

[last lines]

John Person: You look different tonight.

Grace: It's the tenth frame, you get one more chance. Make it count. Then we start a new game.

Dorian Spitz: Are those the kind of people you usually hang out with?

Grace: Well, I don't usually hang out. Why?

Dorian Spitz: Well, you just don't really fit the type.

Grace: Oh, what's the type?

Dorian Spitz: Spoiled and obnoxious, and totally removed from reality.

Dorian Spitz: I knew we should go into business together... I can see it on your face, you know. I can see it in your eyes. You need to escape your world just as much as I do.

Grace: Except that you're trying to escape down, and I'm trying to escape up.

Dorian Spitz: No. There's no up or down, man. There's just free and trapped.

Grace: Okay, I'll just wait out here.

Dorian Spitz: Why? Why don't you want to go outside?

Grace: I just don't feel like it.

Dorian Spitz: Why? What do you have to hide?

Grace: ...What? Nothing.

Dorian Spitz: Well, are you scared of these people?

Grace: People?... Is this about Ben?

Dorian Spitz: I don't know, is it about Ben? Is that why you're not going outside? Is it Ben?

Grace: Oh my God, please don't be that stupid...

Dorian Spitz: I'm not being that stupid, okay? I just want to know what you see in this guy, alright? Like, it is that deep, sort of pseudo soulful look that he's always got in his eyes, when he's just really staring at nothing? Or the fact that he looks like he hasn't taken a shower in a week? Maybe it's his Jesus hair!

Grace: You know, I'm not going to have this conversation with you right now, okay! Fall apart on your own time...

Dorian Spitz: Do you understand that he's never, ever, in his whole life going to understand how special you are? You are so smart, and beautiful and cool and fun to hang out with, alright? And you've gone through so much in your life, and he hasn't struggled a single day! He hasn't worked for anything that he has! He's gotten everything that he has from his parents!

Grace: Oh yeah, and you're so different?

Dorian Spitz: ...Well I'm doing something about it!

Dorian Spitz: Don't you wanna go to college?

Grace: Yeah, that's why I don't wanna go to jail.

Dorian Spitz: Aw, they don't put pretty, white girls with nice smiles in prison.

[Grace drives away. Dorian cups his hands and shouts]

Dorian Spitz: Hey, virtue is its own punishment baby.

Rhonda Berry: All I'm saying is, you don't have to go to college to get an education.

Grace: ...To be a doctor? To be a doctor, you have to go to college, mom!

Water Park Boss: This is going to be the best summer ever, right? We're here to have fun and to make friends. Because the more you have fun, the less it feels like work. I want every one of you to ask yourself - How am I going to live today, in order to create the tomorrow I am committed to?

Grace: ...I've got to get out of here.

Dorian Spitz: I'm Dorian.

Grace: Grace.

Dorian Spitz: Pleasure to meet you, Grace. I knew someone named Grace in pre-school, and she was just sort of good and sweet and lovely, you know?

Dorian Spitz: So, you work here long?

Grace: Uh, yeah. Forever.

Dorian Spitz: Forever, huh? Forever's a long time.

Ben Pretzler: Would it be weird if I asked you out?

Grace: Why?

Ben Pretzler: ...Why?

Grace: I mean, why would it be weird?

Grace: ...That's because pots illegal.

Dorian Spitz: That's because the tobacco and liquor company want to maintain their monopoly, and the prison industries thrive in the war against pot. And it's far too difficult to control and therefore far too difficult to tax and will remain illegal... until the government can turn a profit.

Grace: I have to come up with twelve *thousand* dollars by august 10th or I'll loose my spot.

Jean: It's a lot of blowjobs.

[Both laugh]

Taylor Elizabeth Berry: Are you sleeping with Dorian?

Grace: No. Are you?

Taylor Elizabeth Berry: No. Is mom?

[Both laugh]

Ben Pretzler: This is weird. Usually, when I meet a girl, um, it's always weird at first but I feel oddly comfortable with you.

Grace: I thought you just said it was weird.

Ben Pretzler: It is... because it isn't. You know what I'm saying?

Grace: Yeah.

[They kiss]

Grace: Rejecting great things doesn't make you noble, Dorian; it just makes you naive and stupid.

Grace: My sister thought we were sleeping together.

Dorian Spitz: Hmm, I like that.

Grace: Yea, I thought you would.

Grace: You know, you promised me you were making those payments.

Rhonda Berry: What payments?

Grace: What payments? On the credit cards you took out in my name, that you swore you would pay back?

Rhonda Berry: I know, but sweetheart - When I get the settlement from my accident, Then I'm going to give you the money.

Grace: ...Did you buy a new dress today?

Grace: You seem like such nice people. Such nice people!

Ben Keller: We're still nice people, Grace, but we're also in love. And love's kinda scary. I'm starting to realize that now.

Grace: Mumsy, Freddy is bashing his head against the wall and if he opens a vein it will ruin the drapes.

Freddie Munster: By the way, where's my darling mumsy?

Grace: I don't know. I don't understand her missing this, she so enjoys a good killing.

Grace: You're a little tense, don't you think?

Al: Who wouldn't be tense? This music could make Will Rogers punch a nun.

Grace: Oh, well. I suppose publishers have to hobnob with all sorts of queer people.

Grace: Well, I guess I'd better be barging along, as they say. I, er, I am sure it's getting cold by the minute.

Tom Collier: Yes, it's almost cold enough to... You know, I, I think we'd best bring in the brass monkeys tonight, don't you?

Grace: I read the new book you published last week, Tom.

Tom Collier: Oh, yes? What-what do you think of it?

Grace: Superlative, my dear. I was simply ravished.

Grace: There's a family with kids. Do the kids and make the mother watch. Tell her you'll stop if she can hold back her tears. I *owe* her that.

The Big Man: Rapists and murders may be the victims according to you, but I, I call them dogs. And if they're lapping up their own vomit, the only way to stop them is with a lash.

Grace: But dogs only obey their own nature, so why shouldn't we forgive them?

The Big Man: Dogs can be taught many useful things, but not if we forgive them every time they obey their own nature.

Grace: I think the world would be better without Dogville.

Grace: But I've got nothing to offer them in return.

Tom: Oh, I think you have plenty to offer Dogville.

[after Chuck sees Grace teaching his kids]

Chuck: How is it going otherwise with the fooling act?

Grace: I wasn't trying to fool anyone.

Chuck: I mean Dogville. Has it got you fooled yet?

Grace: I thought you were implying that I was trying to exploit the town.

Chuck: Wishful thinking. This town is rotten from the inside out and I wouldn't miss it if it fell into the gorge tomorrow. I see no charm here. But you seem to. Admit it, you've fallen for Dogville. The trees, the mountains, the simple folk. And if all that ain't got you fooled yet, I bet the cinnamon has. That damned cinnamon in those gooseberry pies. Dogville has everything that you ever dreamed of in the big city.

Grace: You're worse than Tom. How do you know what I dreamed of? You're from the city yourself, aren't you?

Chuck: That was a long time ago. I'm not that stupid anymore. I've found out that people are the same all over. Greedy as animals. In a small town they're just a bit less successful. Feed 'em enough, they'll eat till their bellies burst.

Grace: That's why you want to get rid of me... Because you can't stand that I remind you of what it was you came here to find.

Grace: Some things you have to do yourself.

Grace: What? What is it?

Tom: A man can't really be blamed for being scared, now can he?

Grace: No.

Tom: No. I was scared, Grace. I used you and I am sorry. I'm stupid, I am, maybe even arrogant sometimes.

Grace: You are, Tom.

Tom: Although using people is not very charming, I think you have to agree that this - specific illustration has surpassed all expectations. It says so much about being human! It's been painful, but I think you'll also have to agree it's been edifying, wouldn't you say?

Grace: Not now, Tom. Not now.

[Grace walks away and reenters The Big Man's car]

Grace: If there is any town this world would be better without, this is it.

Grace: Goodbye, Tom.

Grace: All I see is a beautiful little town in the midst of magnificent mountains. A place where people have hopes and dreams even under the hardest conditions.

Chuck: God only knows what that woman is capable of.

Grace: You know she's not capable of anything.

Grace: I think we've talked long enough about the things we remember seeing.

Grace: You shouldn't play games with people's lives.

[shoots Tom]

[Tom offers a piece of bread to Grace]

Tom: You want to eat? You must be hungry.

Grace: I can't. I don't deserve that bread. I stole that bone. I've never stolen anything before. So now, now I have to punish myself. I was raised to be arrogant. So, I... I had to teach myself these things.

Tom: Well, it may be for your education. Grace, in this town... In these times... It's very impolite not to eat what's set before you.

Grace: Stroke a man's dick, you get him for one night. Stroke a man's ego, you get him for life.

Grace: [having accidentally shot Mike] I just shot him...

Franklyn Madson: Thank you!

[looks at Mike, then back at her]

Franklyn Madson: Less work for Frankie!

[Grace tries to shoot Franklyn but the gun jams]

Franklyn Madson: [sighs] Antiques!

Grace: I bet right now, you don't know if you want to kill me... or fuck me.

Grace: [sitting on a bed, appearing as if she is about to seduce Bobby] Come here. You know what I wanna do? I wanna hang drapes...

[gets up and walks off]

Grace: And here I made you all hot and sweaty...

Grace: Don't you want to know? Was Jake my father? Was I fucking my daddy? Yes, I was! I was fucking my daddy! And I married him! I married him, okay? I just wanted to be a kid. And they took that from me. They treated me like meat. A piece of meat. Fuck him! Fuck the whole town, they deserve to die!

Grace: [laughing insanely] You hit me... Bobby!

[stops laughing]

Grace: You motherfucker!

Jake McKenna: [walks in on Bobby and Grace kissing] Grace!

Grace: Jake! I thought you were in Phoenix.

Jake McKenna: Who the hell is this?

Bobby: Who the hell are you?

Jake McKenna: I'm her husband!

Bobby: Husband?

Bobby: [looks at Jake] What about him?

Grace: Let him watch. I want him to know what he's missing.

Grace: Fuck you, Superior!

Grace: You're pretty full of yourself.

Bobby: Yeah, I like that about me.

Grace: I don't want to go to Mexico, Bobby. I want to stay with you. Don't you think I care about you?

Bobby: I think you're a lying, backstabbing, psycho bitch... and one day you'll kill me. But it's nice to know you care.

Grace: [indicates his two missing fingers] You should be more careful.

Bobby: Yeah I know...

Bobby: What do you do?

Grace: A little of this, a little of that. Mostly I tell fortunes.

Grace: [Martin slaps Grace on the butt] Don't you eva do that again!

Jennifer: [reading her own headstone] Let's see here: Beloved daughter and friend. She was the wind beneath our... Really, mom, Bette Midler? You're gonna send me off to the Pearly Gates to the soundtrack of Beaches?

Grace: Why don't you go haunt her!

Jennifer: I'm not a ghost, Gracie, I'm the manifestation of your guilt.

Jennifer: [handing back her necklace] You should keep this.

Grace: It belongs to you.

Jennifer: The afterlife is kind of a leave-your-personal-effects-at-the-door kind of place.

Grace: So is prison.

Jennifer: Don't force it. Just let it be.

Grace: Oh, I didn't know Zen was so popular amongst the dead.

Jennifer: Oh yeah, we're all about parables.

Rochelle: All these songs are by Connie Francis.

Grace: Yeah, isn't that great? Since I was a little girl all I've wanted in life was a jukebox that played nothing but Connie Francis records.

Bonnie: That's great.

Rochelle: Who's Connie Francis?

Grace: Who's Connie Francis? Honey, listen and learn! Connie Francis!

Grace: How's my nephew?

John Koestler: Decided to become a vegetarian.

Grace: A what?

John Koestler: Why? You got a problem with that?

Grace: You're not feeding him Dad's famous Sunday night hot dogs again, are you?

Grace: [hugging John] I know there's something you're not telling me.

John Koestler: [about Caleb] Don't let him watch the news.

Grace: I like your name, Jayden.

Jayden: It's a boy's name.

Grace: Really? I don't think so.

Jayden: Will Smith did.

Grace: Why are you so nice to me?

Mason: You being serious now? Well, it's easy. It's because you are the weirdest, most beautiful person that I've ever met in my whole entire life.

Jayden: Why?

Grace: My mom died, I went to live with my dad and it's impossible to worry about anything else when there's blood coming out of you.

Sammy: Can we play Big and Small?

Grace: Is that a real game, or is that a game you just made up?

Sammy: It's a real game that I just made up.

Mason: Marcus is going to get better.

Grace: I think I am too.

Mason: So, 3 years ago, right, we have this girl here named Liza Green. She's 17,older than everybody else on the unit at the time, and I don't mean this in a pervy way or anything, but she's real pretty.

Grace: She was gorgeous.

Mason: All the guys on the unit want her but she won't give any of them the time of day because she was busy. She was always studying.

Grace: She was very smart. Mmm-hmm.

Mason: Really smart. So, two weeks before she turns 18 and leaves, we get this new intake. It's a 15 year old guy. He's really tough. He's really quiet. But, he's cool. He's just kind of like kicking back, checking out the scene. And I swear I didn't hear him say a word, the whole first week he was here. But, then one day, we were doing community meeting and we ask for announcements. And this guy raises his hand, and he looks directly at Liza Green, then he says, I know you don't know me. I just got here. But I just want to say that I've been watching you. I think you're the most interesting thing about this place, and I'm really sad I'm not going to get to know you before you leave.

[Jessica gets surprised]

Mason: I just wanted to tell you that.

Nate: What a pimp! What'd she say?

Mason: Nothin.

[Everybody laughs]

Grace: It was so awkward.

Mason: It was so fuckin awkward I couldn't stand it. And then she left and never talked to him. The kids teased him for like a year about it.

Nate: Oh, that blows.

Mason: No, he didn't give a shit. No, didn't even faze him. It was like, he knew somethin everybody else didn't.

Nate: Who is this guy?

Mason: That was Marcus.

Jessica: What? I never heard this story.

Grace: Oh, wait. It gets so much better.

Mason: Yeah, yeah. So, check this out. Grace and I are getting coffee at Ronnie's this morning. And we walk in, and who do we see sittin there alone at a table? Marcus! Buttoned-up his shirt. He's sippin on a cappuccino.

Nate: Marcus drinks cappuccino!

Mason: So, we're talking to him. We're catchin up. And he's telling us about his new job at the aquarium and his much he tales home in tips. And now, he's going to start applying for classes next semester.

Jessica: Oh my god!

Mason: Yeah. And it's weird 'coz I'm like, I have not heard Marcus talk this much ever, since I met him, like, what is the deal? Is he excited to see us? Is he nervous about somethin? And that's when I notice, there's another cappuccino on the table and an empty chair next to him. And then just like in the fuckin movies, bathroom door flings open, out walks Liza Green.

Nate: They were on a date?

Grace: It was like their fifth one.

Mason: As soon as she sits down, dude just goes beet red. So embarrassed.

Grace: Oh... oh, it was so cute.

Mason: Oh, it was so fucking cute, I almost pissed my pants.

Grace: Mason, you have no idea what I'm going through right now.

Mason: Then tell me. That's how this works. You talk to me about it so that I can take your hand and fucking walk through this shit with you. That is what I signed up for, Okay? But I cannot do that if you won't let me in.

Grace: I can't. I'm sorry.

Grace: They're going to ask you a lot of questions. It's going to be hard.

Jayden: I'll try to leave out the part about you breaking into that house with a baseball bat.

Grace: Thanks.

Mason: Grace. Where are you going?

Grace: I can't do that.

Mason: Ok. Let's go. Let's go. I'll drive us home.

Grace: I don't wanna go home. It's not what I'm talking about.

Mason: I know it's been a really fucked up day, okay?

Grace: Mason, you have no idea what I'm going through right now.

Mason: Then tell me. That's how this works. You talk to me about it so that I can take your hand and fucking walk through this shit with you. That is what I signed up for, okay? But I cannot do that if you won't let me in.

Grace: I can't. I'm sorry.

Mason: You're sorry? Grace, are you serious? I've been waiting for you for a really long time and I wouldn't take a second of it back because I love you so goddamn much, okay? But I've been waiting for three years to as why is that you don't trust me. I've been waiting for three years for you to, just once, take the advice you give your kids every fucking five minutes and learn to talk about what's going on inside your head. You can't do that for me? Whatever it is, okay, just talk to me.

Grace: I can't do this. I can't. I can't marry you. I can't have your baby. I can't any of that. I can't do it.

Mason: So what do you wanna do? Huh? You wanna get an abortion?

Grace: I already made the appointment.

Mason: Do whatever you want, okay? Cause I'm done.

Jayden: Yep, I know the rules: no belts, no razors, no scissors, no fucking freedom.

Grace: No cussing.

Jayden: Shit, I forgot about that one.

[last lines]

Grace: Here we go.

Jack: Grace, you are a line staff. It's not your job to interpret tears. That's what our trained therapists are here for.

Grace: Then your trained therapists don't know shit.

Jayden: Are you going crazy?

Grace: Probably.

Grace: Jayden, we have to do something about this.

Jayden: Should go bash his face in with a baseball bat while he's sleeping?

Mason: We haven't had sex in 9 days and 13 hours.

Grace: Down to the hour, huh?

Grace: All right. Let's go see your room!

Jayden: Here it is. Wow, it's so inviting...

Grace: You can put whatever you want on the walls as long as it's appropriate.

Jayden: So no pictures of penises?

Grace: Not unless it's very scientific!

Tom Booker: There was a boy from the Blackfeet reservation, he used to do some work around here for a while. Sixteen, strong kid, good kid. He and I were really, really good friends. One day he went swimming and dove headfirst into the lake... and right into a rock. And it snapped his neck, paralyzed him. And after the accident I'd look in on him from time to time. But he wasn't there. It was like his mind, his spirit, whatever you want to call it, just disappeared. The only thing left was just anger. Just sort of as if the... the boy I once knew just went somewhere else.

Grace: I know where he goes.

Tom Booker: I know you do. Don't you disappear. You do whatever you have to do to hold on.

Grace: Are you afraid of anything, Tom Booker?

Tom Booker: Of growing old. Being of no use.

Grace: I've decided about Pilgrim.

Annie: Oh.

Grace: I think we should put him down. It's not fair to let him suffer.

Annie: Well I think that's a very...

Grace: And maybe we should put me down too.

Annie: Don't they believe in signs around here?

Grace: What would they say? Ten miles to big rock. Twenty miles to bigger rock.

[Upon having her leg amputated]

Grace: Who's going to want me now?

Tom Booker: Is she going to be long?

Grace: Probably, she's on the phone 23 hours a day.

Tom Booker: What does she do?

Grace: She's an editor.

Tom Booker: An editor? Ah.

Grace: Just in case she hasn't told you, which she probably hasn't, I don't want to be a part of this. Okay?

Grace: Why do you always wear that hat?

Joe Booker: Cuz it fits my head. Wanna try it on?

[first lines]

Judith: [waves] Hello!

Grace: [waves] Hello!

[first lines]

Grace: [narrating] I read about this monkey that the Russian government sent into outer space. They figured that after a few weeks it would die because the heat from the sun would become unbearable. They said he journey would prove to be invaluable to the advancement of the space program. I wondered how they choose that monkey - that specific one. And why, if he was so special, would they put him in a situation where he could die? If that monkey knew what they were choosing him for, would he have behaved differently? Did he cry when he realized what they had done to him?

Grace: Sometimes popular kids can be really cruel. They can bully you into thinking that there's nothing special about you. They tried to do that to me at Camp Tall Pine. I thank God for sending me someone who changed my life.

Grace: What if he catches us?

Howie: [seeing the clerk mopping his brow] If we can't run faster than him, then we deserve to get caught.

Grace: Tiwana, can I ask you a question?

Tiwana: Sure.

Grace: Why are you being so nice to me?

Tiwana: Why wouldn't I?

Grace: I do not know, just asking.

Grace: The Museum of Science and Industry is just a couple of miles from my house. They have lots of cool exhibitions and things. They have this big heart that you can walk in to. And they have all these little people sliced up in thin little slices. They're stuck in these glass doors, and when you turn the doors, you can see everything - all their insides.

Howie: Are they real people? Like, really real?

Grace: Yeah. There's a man and a lady, all sliced up.

Howie: Well, where'd they get the bodies? I mean, who would want to be cut up and displayed like that?

Grace: I do not know. I never really thought about it before.

Howie: I bet they didn't have families. Maybe they were war prisoners.

Grace: Maybe.

Grace: [tussling and giggling] I'm brilliant, don't you think?

Howie: I guess.

Grace: No, say it!

Howie: Okay, okay, okay.

Grace: Say it...

Howie: Okay. I'm brilliant.

[both cackling]

Grace: [leaving a phone message] Please make it okay, mommy. Please make it okay. I *am* being tough, mommy. I am, I swear.

Howie: Did you know that Bryce classifies all girls? You know, super fine foxes, foxes middle-of-the-road, dogs, and real dogs.

Grace: What was that?

Howie: He said that you were a dog.

Grace: Oh...

[taking off her glasses]

Howie: But, he didn't even really look at you, though. He couldn't have, he wouldn't have said that if he really looked at you.

Grace: I feel gross. I'm gonna go take a shower...

[last lines]

Grace: [narrating] The bullies tried to make us seem small. I a weird way it did just the opposite. I wasn't afraid any more. And Howie wasn't alone. God has a way of giving you what you need when times get tough.

Howie: [cut to her opening her mail] In the fall, Howie found a family that adopted him in Connecticut. We stayed in touch, and the next summer mom took us to the museum to see the cut-up people. And then to NASA to see the rockets.

Grace: [reading his enclosed note] I am afraid I will never make it back to Tall Pine to pay our debt. Enclosed please find my half of the money. Did you find out who the cut up people were in the museum> I think about them a lot. -Howie P.S. Bryce was wrong. You were a SUPER FINE FOX.

Grace: Men have minds like moral flypaper. They will forgive a woman almost anything except the loss of her good name.

Grace: How would you tame a horse?

Luke: Break its spirit.

Grace: And how do you tame a woman?

Luke: Break her heart.

Grace: Where are you going?

Midge: Out. I got a date with a lady. You know what a lady is? Nah, how could you?

Grace: [to Midge] I'm expensive. Awful expensive. I didn't want you to think you could buy me cheap.

Grace: Charles. You look so different.

Charles: Sometimes I bleed.

Grace: I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world.

Grace: At first I couldn't understand what the pillows where doing in my hands and why you didn't move, but then I knew, it had happened, I killed my children. I got the rifle, I put it to my forehead and I pulled the trigger, nothing, and I heard your laughter in the bedroom, you were playing with the pillows as if nothing had happened, and I thought the Lord and his great mercy was giving me another chance, tell them, don't give up, be strong, be a good mother but now, but now what does this all mean? Where are we?

Grace: Where's my daughter? What have you done with my daughter?

Anne: Are you mad? I am your daughter.

Charles: I just came home to say goodbye to my wife and children.

Grace: Where are you going?

Charles: To the front.

Grace: I thought the war was over.

Charles: The war is not over.

Grace: You're not going. You left us once already. YOU CAN'T GO! Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had NOTHING TO DO WITH US? Why didn't you stay like the others did?

Charles: The others surrendered.

Grace: We are all surrendered, what did you expect? What were you trying to prove by going to war? Your place was here with your family. I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? You want to leave not because of the war, you want to leave me, remember when you told me "I know a place where no one can bother our children when they are playing"?

Grace: You told your brother there was someone else in the room.

Anne: There was.

Grace: That'll do, Anne.

Grace: This house is ours, this house is ours.

Grace: If you're dead, then leave us in peace. Leave us in peace!

Mrs. Mills: And suppose we do leave you, ma'am, do you suppose that They will?

Grace: Who?

Mrs. Mills: The intruders.

[first lines]

Grace: Now children, are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin... This story started many thousands of years ago, and it was all over in just 7 days. All that long long time ago, none of the things we can see now, the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth, the animals and plants, not a single one existed. Only God existed. And so only he could have created them. And he did.

Grace: So you say you know this house well?

Mrs. Mills: Like the back of my hand, that is assuming the walls haven't sprouted legs and moved in the meantime.

Grace: The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything.

Grace: Whoever took the curtains wants to kill my children.

Mrs. Mills: Now, why do you think the daylight would kill them?

Grace: Are you mad? I already told you my children are photosensitive. THE LIGHT WILL KILL THEM!

Mrs. Mills: Yes, but that was before. The condition could have cleared up.

Grace: No one can make us leave this house.

Anne: Mummy, I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do!

Grace: You told your brother there was someone else in the room!

Anne: There was!

Grace: You're lying!

Anne: I AM NOT!

Grace: If you see a ghost, you say "hello".

Grace: My husband went to war and did not come back. Who will do the cooking?

Mrs. Mills: I'm sorry, miss.

Grace: Who will do the cooking?

Grace: [regarding Lydia] Was she born like that?

Mrs. Mills: Beg your pardon, ma'am?

Grace: The girl. Was she born a mute?

Mrs. Mills: No.

[looks uncomfortable]

Mrs. Mills: I think I've finished here, ma'am. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and see if Mr. Tuttle needs a hand.

Grace: The Man Who Can't Breathe. The Man Who Lives In The Vents. I Heard Him Saying Your Name Last Night. I Heard Him In Your Room. While You Were Gone He's In There Standing Right Now. Standing In Your Room.

Nick: Hold up. Your dad's right outside.

Grace: I don't care about that, and neither does he. Besides, I'll just tell him to give you another raise.

Brandon: Basement door opens to an awful smell -... Something's rotting down there.

Grace: Or someone.

Brandon: I say we live a little. And stop being pussies. - Signing the cross to everyone - Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.

Freddy: Come on... This is all just bullshit! We can really conjure a demon. That's like Wes Craven shit.

Grace: Why is this bullshit? I mean, if people believe angels are real, then why can't a demon be real?

Grace: Found you!

Grace: [talking to Dr. Jamison] Quit acting like a doctor! You lost all that! They took your license away because you couldn't control what you were doing, just like you couldn't control what you were doing out there with Albert!

[after Maria has told her seduction story]

Grace: My God! I saw that picture. That blonde lady is you?

Marie: It's not a big deal.

Saira: Right! You getting muff-dived on a moving bus by a hot chick isn't a big deal? Happens all the time?

Marie: Tell me something, Saira. Do you still get all wet when you see a guy on a scissor lift?

Saira: [shrugs] Touche.

Grace: Hey, what are you doing? You two making out in there or what?

Marie: You wish, you little tart!

[Serena and Marie enter with more drinks]

Grace: Thank God! Reinforcements!

Serena: Oh, so you two are laying across each other like something out of a Madonna video and we're the ones making out in the kitchen? Sounds like someone's got transference issues.

Grace: I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'm fairly certain that when I sober up that I will be very offended.

Saira: Let's just get on with the game!

Grace: [referring to the lingerie] Marie, what are you wearing?

Marie: What? I thought this was pajama party. And these are my pajamas.

Grace: Pajamas? Yeah, right. If you're sleeping over at Hugh Hefner's house.

Marie: You're just jealous.

Grace: Tart!

Marie: Wench!

Teen Rosemary: [to her brother William:] Could you get dressed, Willie, I wanna get out of here.

Grace: Where ya goin'?

Teen Sweet William: There's a stupid dance at school.

Grace: You goin' to a dance? Oh, dear God in heaven!

[to granddaughter Rosemary]

Grace: Now, you know to count to six?

Teen Rosemary: What?

Grace: If you're gonna kiss a boy, you got to count to six while you're doin' it. And then stop! After six it's a sin.

Grace: [sending her grandchildren off to a school dance. To granddaughter Rosemary.] You got pockets? You carrying your protection with you?

Teen Rosemary: What?!

Grace: Started when your father was young. Every party dress had to have pockets.

[fetches something from her chest-of-drawers.]

Grace: Now ... Your hands. These'll keep you safe.

[lowers a rosary into Rosemary's open hands.]

Grace: Now, you feel some of that ... that hocus-pocus comin' into your body ... you don't have to worry.

Grace: You're the one who told me to have sex!

Elaine: Sex like a normal person! Not like a porn star!

Grace: Wanna know what I'd do? I'd break his balls. What you do is... you get yourself a sock, put a couple of plums in it, tie it to a doorknob, and you practice reaching out, grabbing 'em and pulling down on his balls until they pop.

Grace: In the land of the blind the one eyed girl is queen.

Grace: We're not supposed to talk about the fire.

Zoe: Your brother set the house on fire?

Tyler: No.

Zoe: Did your brother set the house on fire?

Grace: No. He made a dog go on fire and the dog made the fire.

Lieutenant Smith: Burlesque? What did you do in burlesque?

Grace: You know what you do to a banana before you eat it? Well, eh, I do it to music.

Nydia: But, how? How could you? Were there men there?

Grace: If there weren't you got fired!