Gordon Cooper Quotes in The Right Stuff (1983)

Alan Shepard: Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck up.

Gordon Cooper: I didn't quite copy that. Say again, please.

Alan Shepard: I said everything's A-OK.

[an argument rages, primarily between Shepard, Glenn, Carpenter and Cooper]

Scott Carpenter: John's right! Now, whether we like it or not, we're public figures. Whether we deserve it or not, people are going to look up to us. We have got a tremendous responsibility here.

Alan Shepard: You cannot tell a pilot what he's doing when he's not flying!

[Argument continues]

Gus Grissom: Wait a minute, wait a minute!

[turns Glenn toward him]

Gus Grissom: You've got it all wrong, the issue here ain't pussy. The issue here is monkey.

John Glenn: What?

Gus Grissom: Us. We are the monkey.

Deke Slayton: What Gus is saying is that we're missing the point. What Gus is saying is that we all heard the rumors that they want to send a monkey up first. Well, none of us wants to think that they're gonna send a monkey up to do a man's work. But what Gus is saying is that what they're trying to do to us is send a man up to do a monkey's work. Us, a bunch of college-trained chimpanzees!

Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.

Deke Slayton: Alright, so what Gus is saying is that we've got to change things around here. He's saying that we are pilots. And we know more about what we need to fly this thing than anybody else. So what we have to do is to alter the experiment. And what that comes down to is who is gonna control this thing from here on out.

Gordon Cooper: What Gus is saying here is that we've got to stick together on this deal.

Alan Shepard: Request permission to relieve bladder... Gordo... Gordo?

Gordon Cooper: Look, the man has got to go! Now it's either that or we get out the lug wrench and pry him out...

Chief Scientist: [with resignation] Do it... in the suit.

Gordon Cooper: José, permission to wet your diapers anytime son.

[the Mercury Seven walk through the space center after the response to Yuri Gagarin's space shot]

John Glenn: I'm tired of being forthright, gracious and magnanimous.

Gordon Cooper: Yeah.

John Glenn: I'm tired of these stupid questions from the press.

Gordon Cooper: mm-hmm

John Glenn: I'm tired of smocks, I'm tired of engineers telling us what we can't do, I'm tired of everybody that says we are not pilots!

Gordon Cooper: You tell 'em, John.

John Glenn: I'm tired of monkeys.

Alan Shepard: Yeah.

John Glenn: And most of all, I am sick and tired of being second to those... those darn Russians!

Gus Grissom: There ya go.

John Glenn: Now I think it's about time we...

Wally Schirra: got someone up there!

[the others voice their approval]

John Glenn: Let's f-f-f...

Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.

John Glenn: That's right! Exactly!

Gordon Cooper: You boys know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up.

Gus Grissom: He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.

Gordon Cooper: [during the lung capacity test] Ha! 93 seconds. Read it and weep

[notices Glenn and Carpenter are still exhaling]

John Glenn: [Glenn has run out of breath well past Gordo's time] Congratulations, Scott. Darn good.

Scott Carpenter: [shaking Glenn's hand] You were probably just getting warmed up, John. Next time I doubt I'll be the one to win.

Gus Grissom: [to Gordo] You hear that? We were competing with Archie and Jughead

Gus Grissom: [listening to the NASA recruiter] Say, Hot Dog; what the hell does "astronaut" mean, anyway?

Gordon Cooper: [thinks for a moment] "Star Voyager"

Gus Grissom: "Star Voyager" Gus Grissom. I kinda like the sound of that.

Pancho Barnes: What are you two rookies gonna have?

Gordon Cooper: Rookies? Now hold on, sis. You are looking at a whole new ballgame here now. In fact, in a couple of years, I bet you're even gonna immortalize us by putting our pictures up there on your wall.

[unwittingly referring to the dead pilot memorial over the bar]

Gordon Cooper: What? I say somethin' wrong here?

Pancho Barnes: I tell you, we got two categories of pilots around here. We got your prime pilots that get all the hot planes, and we got your pud-knockers who dream about getting the hot planes. Now what are you two pud-knockers gonna have? Huh?

Gordon Cooper: Who was the best pilot I ever saw? Well, uh, you're lookin' at 'im.

[Gordo has been ordered to provide a sperm sample]

Gordon Cooper: Yeah, but uh, nurse, how am I supposed to uh...

Nurse Murch: The best results seem to be obtained through fantasization, accompanied by masturbation, followed by ejaculation.

Gordon Cooper: Well, that sounds easy enough.

Trudy Cooper: [Trudy has just finished talking to Nurse Murch about Gordo] You're all set. I told her you were stable, well-adjusted, attentive, persevering... I lied.

Gordon Cooper: That a girl! What'd she say?

Trudy Cooper: She laughed! She knows you too well, Gordo.

Gordon Cooper: Yeah, well some women just have a problem with men, you know?

Trudy Cooper: [Shake her head ruefully as Gordo walks off] Yeah; I know.

[Shepard, loaded with a barium enema, is being escorted to the john in a very undignified manner]

Gordon Cooper: [mockingly] Good day Commander SIR!

Alan Shepard: You PRICK!

Gordon Cooper: As you WERE!

Gordon Cooper: I'm not one of those hot dog pilots, I am *the* hot dog man Himself.

Gordon Cooper: You know something, Gus? I got me a new house, new furniture. Got me $25,000 a year on a magazine contract. Got me a Corvette. Got free lunch from one end of America to the other - and I ain't even been up there yet.

Gus Grissom: Yeah, I noticed that.

Gordon Cooper: Oh, you noticed that, did you? Well I guess they're just saving the best for last.

Gus Grissom: Yeah, I guess so, Hot Dog. Just be sure you don't screw the pooch.

Gordon Cooper: Hey honey, want a hot dog?

Trudy Cooper: I'm leaving you, Gordo.