Gordon Bombay Quotes in D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)

Gordon Bombay: [to priest] Excuse me, one second.

[takes Hans' jersey and lays it on the coffin, then addresses the 'Ducks']

Gordon Bombay: Every time you touch the ice, remember that it was Hans who taught us to fly.

Gordon Bombay: [to the board] You know why I'm so good? Because I had a good education, you gave it to me. And you're going to give it to these kids.

Coach Orion: [to Charlie] He *is* good.

Charlie Conway: Just getting started.

Gordon Bombay: I was like you, Charlie. When I played hockey, I was a total hot shot... tried to take control of every game. I wound up quitting. So I tried the law. Same thing. I ruled the courtroom, but inside I was a mess. Started drinking. Man, I was going down. But then this great thing happened, maybe the best thing ever: I got arrested and sentenced to community service. And there you were: Charlie and the Ducks. And as hard as I fought it, there you were. You gave me a life, Charlie, and I want to say thank you. I told Orien about all this when I talked to him about taking over. I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man.

Charlie Conway: [astonished] You did?

Gordon Bombay: [nods] So be that man, Charlie. Be that man.

Charlie Conway: [Gordon has set Charlie's alarm for 6AM] Go away.

Gordon Bombay: Can't do that. Come on.

[flips Charlie and his mattress over]

Gordon Bombay: Get dressed, Charlie.

Gordon Bombay: [walking down the hall with Charlie, he leads him to a trophey cabinet and motions to a picture of himself] Check this out. Look at that hair.

[chuckles]

Gordon Bombay: I look like Greg Brady.

[the kids aren't thrilled about being named the Ducks]

Gordon Bombay: I didn't have a choice, we're being sponsored.

Les Averman: By who, Donald and Daisy?

Gordon Bombay: Hey, you don't wanna be Ducks? You'd rather be District Five? Some stupid number?

Peter Mark: Better than some stupid animal.

Gordon Bombay: I'll have you know, Peter, that the Duck is one of the most noble, agile and intelligent creatures in the animal kingdom.

Connie Moreau: But they're wimpy!

Guy Germaine: They don't even have teeth.

Gordon Bombay: Neither do hockey players. Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It's beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I'm proud to be a Duck, and I'd be proud to fly with any one of you. So how about it? Who's a Duck?

Fulton Reed: [pause] I'll be a duck.

Charlie Conway: Yeah, me too.

Gordon Bombay: SHUT UP! You guys stink! I thought we came here to play hockey.

Peter Mark: [sarcastically] You know, I knew we forgot something.

[Coach Bombay has taped Goldberg to the goal]

Goldberg: My mother is not gonna approve of this, Coach! She wants me to live to be Bar Mitzvah'd!

Gordon Bombay: This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg. Today, you become a man.

Goldberg: No. I think you've got the ceremonies mixed up. This is more like a CIRCUMCISION.

Police Officer: Could you turn down the stereo?

Gordon Bombay: [drunkenly] Sure. I guess it was a 'widdle' noisy.

Police Officer: A 'widdle'? OK, I'm taking down to precinct. Breath, blood or urine?

Gordon Bombay: [drunkenly] No, thanks. I'm full.

Gordon Bombay: You may make it. You may not. But that doesn't matter, Charlie. What matters is that we're here. Look around. Who ever thought we'd make it this far. 1 2 3 Triple Deke. Take your best shot. I believe in you, Charlie. Win or lose.

Charlie Conway: Thanks coach!

Gordon Bombay: Go get em.

Gordon Bombay: Did you really Quack at the Principal?

Ducks: Yeah.

Gordon Bombay: Are we Ducks or what?

Charlie Conway: You know, she has many fine qualities that men find attractive.

Gordon Bombay: I'm aware Charlie, that fact has not escaped me.

[Gordon has just been fired]

Gordon Bombay: Yes sir, Mr. Ducksworth. Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth. Quack, quack, quack, Mr. Ducksworth!

Mr. Gerald Ducksworth: Gordon, stop quacking!

Gordon Bombay: Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!

Dave Karp: [after blocking a shot with his head knocks him senseless] I don't want to go to school today, Mom.

Gordon Bombay: Karp, how many fingers am I holding up?

Peter Mark: He wouldn't know that, anyway.

Gordon Bombay: Shut up, Peter.

Gordon Bombay: A team isn't a bunch of kids out to win. A team is something you belong to, something you feel, something you have to earn.

Gordon Bombay: Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.

Peter Mark: What's this supposed to be, a pep talk?

Gordon Bombay: I'm sure this will be a real bonding experience. One day, maybe one of you will write a book about it in jail.

Gordon Bombay: [talking about Casey's date life] So what kind of guys does she date?

Charlie Conway: Jerks. Not because of her, but when they take a glimpse of me, POW! WARP SPEED! They are gone!

Gordon Bombay: Don't take it personally, Charlie.

Charlie Conway: Oh, I don't care, except it's not fair to my mom.

Coach Reilly: You got somethin' to say to me, Bombay?

Gordon Bombay: To think, I wasted all those years worrying about what you thought. You're going down, Reilly.

Dave Karp: What about the things you said, you said we didn't deserve to live.

Gordon Bombay: Karp, I was being sarcastic do you know what that means?

Dave Karp: [sarcastically] Noooo.

Gordon Bombay: Okay, then you do.

Gordon Bombay: You think losing is funny?

Les Averman: Well, not at first, but once you get the hang of it.

Jesse: We're the ones out there gettin' our butts kicked.

Terry Hall: Yeah, it's not like you coach us or anything. At least we tried.

Les Averman: Just so you know, we really suck.

Gordon Bombay: Hey, I'll decide who sucks around here.

[Cut to the kids playing, badly]

Gordon Bombay: They really suck.

Lewis: Rink's gotta be around here someplace.

Gordon Bombay: Just look for a sign that says 'Personal Hell'.

[under his breath]

Gordon Bombay: How can he do this to me? I hate kids. They're barely human.

Gordon Bombay: Is there a goalie?

Goldberg: Only for a little while. I'm moving back to Philly with my mom.

Gordon Bombay: Thank you for sharing that.

Gordon Bombay: Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth! Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Mr. Ducksworth!

Connie Moreau: [referring to a duck] But they're wimpy!

Guy Germaine: They don't even have teeth!

Gordon Bombay: Neither do hockey players.

Gordon Bombay: You didn't listen to a word I said. I said keep your heads up, you put your heads down. I SAID HUSTLE, YOU WENT SLOWER. That was the sloppiest playing I've ever seen! Why the hell don't you just listen to me?

Jesse: Why the hell should we?

Gordon Bombay: I don't care. You wanna lose? Fine. You're the ones who look like idiots out there.

Gordon Bombay: Concentration, not strength.

Les Averman: Like the Karate Kid, right? Wax on! Wax off!

Connie Moreau: Just shut up and try it, Averman!

Gordon Bombay: I hate kids. They're barely human.

Frank Huddy: [Gordon has defeated Frank at court] You really stooped to an all-time low on this one, Bombay.

Gordon Bombay: I'm insulted by that, Frank, you have no idea how low I can stoop.

Frank Huddy: I mean, I don't mind losing; I'd just like to lose fairly.

Gordon Bombay: Losing fair is still losing, Frank. Gotta go for the "W" every time!

Frank Huddy: And what about justice, huh? That man, he should be in jail.

Gordon Bombay: It was your job to put him there, so don't take it out on me! Next time do your job, Franky-Boy.

Gordon Bombay: Keep swingin'. Maybe you'll give them a cold.

Goldberg: [after Bombay ties him to the net] My mother would not approve of this, coach. She'd like to live to be Bar Mitzvahed.

Gordon Bombay: This is your Bar Mitzvah, Goldberg. Today, you will become a man.

Goldberg: Coach, I think you got the ceremonies mixed up. It's more like a circumcision!

Connie Moreau: Hi, coach. I'm Connie. Do you play?

Gordon Bombay: No. So, what's our record anyway?

Connie Moreau: 0-9. One was pretty close, though, we only lost by five. And we almost scored a goal, too.