Gord Quotes in Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Jim: Hey, Gord, the water cold enough for ya?

[Turns the water temp level down, then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet]

Jim: Don't tell me this boy's so stupid he doesn't know the difference between hot and cold.

[opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in Scuba Gear]

Jim: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?

Gord: Look, I found a treasure.

Jim: That's a soap on a rope!

Gord: SHhhhhhhhhh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.

Gord: Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.

Gord: Don't touch my shoulder, I saved the day.

Darren: [Gord is working on his skate ramp in the middle of the night, hammering nails loudly] Gord, don't hammer them so loud! Jeez, it's late, you're gonna wake your parents up.

Gord: You're right, I should probably use the electric nail gun.

Darren: Well, yeah.

Jim: [Gord uses the nail gun, making even more loud noise. Jim wakes up] Oh, boys, will you faggots stop making so fucking much noise? We're trying to sleep!

Jim: [Gord contimues to use the nail gun] Goddammit!

[shouts]

Jim: Stop the fucking hammering!

Mr. Malloy: Hey, I got a kid sleeping over here!

Andy Malloy: Hey, Gord, can I play on your ramp tomorrow?

Gord: Sure, Andy, anytime!

Jim: [shouts at the top of his lungs, and goes back inside the house]

Darren: Does your dad have, like, bowel problems?

Gord: Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy.

Freddy Brody: Is that um...

Jim: Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?

Freddy Brody: How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right poP? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Gord: Yes, I'd like to start off by saying that this girl's argument is ridiculous! Vegetarians who eat fish are hypocrites! She thinks because fish may feel no pain they don't value their lives. Absurd! And notice how she expresses almost no sympathy for chickens. That's because Americans hate chickens. For example, KFC serves popcorn chicken to assure the customers that the chicken was blown to bits, yet the meatball sub at Subway isn't called "popcorn cow." Americans want chickens to die! Lame! Personally, I do feel sympathy for animals, which is why I choose to only eat baby animals. They have not lived as long, and they are not leaving as much behind. Baby clams, chicken wings, baby seals - no... big... loss! If we don't eat meat, we lose out place in the food chain. Eating animals gives us confidence as humans.

Gord: We have rules of conduct. Your ticket is a contract.

Male Theater Patron: [from back row of the theater] Shut up, lumberjack!

Riley Jones: Rebuttal: What is the contract?

Gord: Rebuttal: There's to be no illegal photography inside of Galaxy Cinemas.

Riley Jones: Rejoinder: That is NOT the way a capitalist society functions.

Gord: When you take illegal photography inside of cinemas, you take money away from carpenters who are just trying to feed and clothe their families. Any closing statement?

Riley Jones: Um...

Gord: Silence is compliance.