Goose Quotes in Top Gun (1986)

Maverick: I feel the need...

Maverick, Goose: ...the need for speed!

Carole: Hey, Goose, you big stud!

Goose: That's me, honey.

Carole: Take me to bed or lose me forever.

Goose: Show me the way home, honey.

Slider: Goose, whose butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?

Goose: The list is long, but distinguished.

Slider: Yeah, well so is my Johnson.

Goose: The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.

Viper: Good morning, gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees.

Wolfman: Holy shit, it's Viper!

Goose: Viper's up here, great... oh shit...

Maverick: Great, he's probably saying, "Holy shit, it's Maverick and Goose."

Goose: Yeah, I'm sure he's saying that.

Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?

Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.

Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?

Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a...

Goose: We!

Maverick: Uh, sorry, Goose. *We* happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.

Charlie: Where did you see this?

Maverick: Uh, that's classified.

Charlie: It's what?

Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Charlie: So, lieutenant, where exactly were you?

Maverick: Well, we...

Goose: Thank you.

Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.

Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?

Maverick: Because I was inverted.

Iceman: [coughs whilst saying] Bullshit.

Goose: No, he was man. It was a really great move. He was inverted.

Charlie: You were in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28?

Maverick: Yes, ma'am.

Charlie: At what range?

Maverick: Um, about two meters.

Goose: It was actually about one and a half I think. It was one and a half. I've got a great Polaroid of it, and he's right there, must be one and a half.

Maverick: Was a nice picture.

Goose: Thanks.

Charlie: Eh, lieutenant, what were you doing there?

Goose: Communicating.

Maverick: Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. You know, giving him the bird!

Goose: [Charlie looks puzzled, so Goose clarifies] You know, the finger

Charlie: Yes, I know the finger, Goose.

Goose: I-I'm sorry, I hate it when it does that, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Maverick: [spots Charlie for the first time] She's lost that loving feeling.

Goose: She's lo... No she hasn't.

Maverick: Yes, she has.

Goose: She's not lost that lo...

Maverick: Goose, she's lost it, man.

Goose: Come on!

Goose: [to himself] Aw sh... I hate it when she does that.

Stinger: Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane! You don't own that plane, the tax payers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral's daughter!

Goose: Penny Benjamin?

[Maverick shrugs]

Stinger: And you asshole, you're lucky to be here!

Goose: Thank you, sir.

Stinger: And let's not bullshit Maverick. Your family name ain't the best in the Navy. You need to be doing it better, and cleaner than the other guy. Now what is it with you?

Maverick: Just want to serve my country, be the best pilot in the Navy, sir.

Stinger: Don't screw around with me Maverick. You're a hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I still can't believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to Top Gun.

Goose: (checking out the plaque with names of the best of the best) No, boys. There's two "O"s in Goose.

Goose: No. No, Mav, this is not a good idea.

Maverick: Sorry, Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower.

Goose: Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit!

Goose: [flying above MiG upside down] Is this your idea of fun, Mav?

Goose: Yeeha, Jester's dead!

Wolfman: Won this bullshit?

Goose: Didn't everybody?

Hollywood: Hell no, man. We got our butts kicked.

Wolfman: Thirty seconds. We went like this, he went like that. I said to Hollywood, "Where'd he go?" Hollywood says, "Where'd who go?"

Hollywood: Yeah, and he's laughing at us, right on the radio, he's laughing at us.

Slider: That was me laughing, dickhead.

Maverick: This is what I call a target-rich environment.

Goose: You live your life between your legs, Mav.

Maverick: Goose, even you could get laid in a place like this.

Goose: Hell, I'd be happy to just find a girl that would talk dirty to me.

Goose: It's the bottom of the 9th, the score is tied. It's time for the big one.

Iceman: You up for this one, Maverick?

Maverick: Just a walk in the park, Kazansky.

Goose: [after Goose and Maverick get chewed out by Viper] Thanks, Mav, that was really great. Oh, shit! Maybe I should become a truck driver. Mav, do you remember the number of that truck driving school that was on TV the other night, Truck America or something like that?

Goose: Great balls of fire!

Jester: Maverick, you and Goose get your butts outta that flight gear and up to Viper's office now.

Slider: Remember, boys, no points for second place.

Goose: You're a lot brighter than you look.

Slider: Oh, you shut up.

Maverick: There's Viper.

Goose: Hey Mav, stay with Hollywood.

Hollywood: Yeah Mav, stay with me.

Maverick: Hollywood, you look good. I'm going after Viper.

Hollywood: God dammit, Maverick.

Goose: [via radio] Max.

Max: [via radio] Go ahead.

Goose: We are 100% SNAFU.

Max: You ok?

Goose: Nothin' a year in the tropics wouldn't fix.

Max: Much damage?

Nightrider: [via radio] You should see the damage, bronze. Huh? metal damage, brain damage. Heheheh. You listen bronze. I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! I'm the Nightrider, baby,

[unintelligible]

Nightrider: , and we ain't never comin' back!

Goose: Jimmy the Goose, larger than life and twice as ugly!

Goose: [describing the supercharged Interceptor that's idling, in particular the supercharger itself] You can shut the gate on this one, Maxie... it's the duck's guts!

Barry, MFP Garage Mechanic: [excitedly] She sucks nitro... with Phase 4 heads! 600 horsepower through the wheels! She's meanness set to music and the bitch is born to run!

Goose: [looking at Max just staring at the engine] He's in a coma, man!

Goose: We'll See you on the road, skag! We'll See you on the road like we saw The Nightrider!

Johnny the Boy: We remember The Nightrider! And we know who you are!

Goose: What a turkey! Hey, fella! You're a turkey!

Goose: It was like slow motion. He leaves his seat and goes through the windshield, headfirst straight into the tree, right? And then bounces back through the windshield. And by the time we got to him, he was just sitting there, trying to scream with his face ripped off.

[pause]

Goose: What's the matter?

Restaurant Patron: Not hungry anymore.

Goose: Give it here.

Goose: You've seen it!... You've heard it!... and you're still asking questions?

[Valentine and his gang have brought Secord and the rocket to Neville Sinclair]

Cliff Secord: [on the road leading to the Griffith Observatory] What's it like working for a Nazi, Eddie? Does he pay you in dollars or Deutschmarks?

Eddie Valentine: What's he talking about, Sinclair?

Cliff Secord: Oh, yeah, Eddie! I got it straight from the Feds. Nazi spy ring, Flying Commandos, the works!

Neville Sinclair: He's been flying where the air's too thin.

Jenny: Tell him about the secret room. Tell him about the Germans on the radio!

Goose: [pointing a gun at Lothar] Easy, Frankenstein. You ain't bulletproof!

Eddie Valentine: Start talking, Sinclair!

Goose: You're on our turf, scum fuck.

Goose: Fuck your noise!

Goose: You oughta get laid more often, Keith, you'd be less of a fuckhead.

Keith: Shit, I fuck like a bunny.

Goose: Yeah, quick.

Goose: I don't need your voodoo magic around my neck!

Goose: Christy is dead.

Christy's sister: Did you kill her?

Goose: No... I loved her.

Young Goose: Are we *there* yet?

Goose: Don't make me turn this formation around!

Goose: Just when I thought I was out. They pull me back in!

Goose: All right. Listen up, you glue factory rejects.

Goose: Oh you're good. You are. You are very good.

Goose: You see Rusty the rotatin' rooster up there. He's about to get Goosed.

Goose: You ever try swimming in cement horseshoes.

Goose: Oh... you're funny, but there's only room for one wise guy on this farm.

Goose: You wanna dance? You wanna piece of the Goose? Heeya hiya!

Goose: Jeez! I didn't know the goat was packin'!

Goose: Now you're talking, baby! Let's do this, barnyard style.

Goose: Get back here, you chicken! C'mon, I'll fight you with one wing behind my back.

[at the meeting, Charlotte is looking for a new message to write in her web]

Lamb: How about "Pig Supreme"?

Charlotte: Mmmm... no good. It sounds like a rich dessert.

[Templeton walks past with an apple core towards the trough, and Charlotte glares at Templeton]

Goose: How about terrific, terrific, terrific?

Charlotte: Cut that down to *one* terrific, and it will do nicely. I think "terrific" will impress Zuckerman.

Wilbur: But Charlotte, I'm not terrific.

Charlotte: You're terrific, as far as I am concerned.

[Templeton, while holding an orange peel in his mouth, smacks Wilbur's face with his tail and walks off to the trough]

Charlotte: [after glaring at Templeton] And does anybody know how to spell it?

Goose: I think it's T, double-E, double-R, double-R, double-I, double-F, double-I, double-C, C, C!

Charlotte: [Charlotte's remark, from shock back to the goose] What kind of acrobat do you think I am? It would take me all night to write that.

Goose: [to Templeton] You'll worry, all right, when winter comes. If Wilbur is killed and his trough stands empty, then you'll grow so thin we can look right through your stomach and see objects on the other side!

Wilbur: Will you play with me?

Goose: I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbit! I'm staying here and hatching my goslings.

[after the goose's eggs have hatched]

Wilbur: Congratulations! How many are there?

Goose: There are seven.

Charlotte: Seven is a lucky number.

Goose: Luck has nothing to do with it! It was good management and hard work!

Templeton: [looking at a solitary unhatched egg] Why didn't, uh, this one hatch?

Goose: [gloomily] It's a dud, I guess.

Templeton: What are you going to do with it?

Goose: [sternly] You can have it. Roll it away and add it to that nasty collection of yours! Be careful - a rotten egg can be a regular stink bomb!

Templeton: [patting the egg] I know what I'm doing. I handle stuff like this all the time.

[Templeton rolls the egg away and buries it in his hole]

Goose: You have a good home home here. Why aren't you happy happy happy?

Wilbur: I miss Fern.

Weed Customer: Have you ever used an ATM before, dumb-ass?

Goose: You have a problemo, amigo, huh, with me?

Weed Customer: Oh, you wanna go, Jackie Chan?

Goose: Hey, there's an old saying, "You wake up the sleeping dragon, he might have sex with your face."