Gilderoy Lockhart Quotes in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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Gilderoy Lockhart Quotes:

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Hello. Who are you?

    Ron: Um... Ron Weasley.

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Really! And,uh, wh-who am I?

    Ron: Lockhart's memory charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!

    Gilderoy Lockhart: It's an odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?

    Ron: No.

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Really?

    [knocks Lockhart unconscious with a rock]

  • [after using a spell to mend Harry's broken arm, Lockhart inadvertently removes all the bones in it]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Ah... yes, well, that can sometimes happen. Um, but, uh, the point is, uh, you can no longer feel any pain. And, very clearly, the bones are not broken.

    Hagrid: Broken? There's no bones left!

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Much more flexible, though.

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?

    Professor Snape: Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

  • [after the attack on Mrs. Norris]

    Professor Snape: If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don't recall seeing Potter at dinner.

    Gilderoy Lockhart: I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Spooky how the time flies when one's having fun.

    Harry: ...Spooky...

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: [whilst flying out of the Chamber of Secrets with Fawkes, Harry, Ron, and Ginny] AMAZING! This is just like magic!

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me to answer my fan mail?

    Harry: Not really.

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: [Echoing from the bottom of the entrance shaft] it *really* is quite filthy down here!

    Harry: [Preparing to follow Lockhart] Here we go.

    Moaning Myrtle: Oh Harry - if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet!

    [Quick shot of Ron looking pained before cutting to Harry]

    Harry: Urr, thanks, Myrtle!

  • [after Harry pushes him down into the Chamber]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: It's really quite filthy down here.

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: [Looking down the pipe leading to the Chamber of Secrets] Well... well done!, Well,

    [turns and tries to leave]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: there's no need for me to stay!

    Harry: [Pushing Lockhart back with Ron's help] Yes there is!

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher... me. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.

  • [after Lockhart reveals his ineptness at fighting the Dark Arts]

    Ron: Is there anything you CAN do?

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, you see, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. And I'd never have sold another book.

  • Harry: You're running away? After all that stuff you did in your books?

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Books can be misleading...

    Harry: You wrote them!

    Gilderoy Lockhart: My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think *I'd* done all those things!

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: [to class] I must ask you not to scream, it might REMOTE THEM!

    [pulls cloth off of cage, which reveals pixies]

    Seamus Finnigan: Cornish pixies?

    Gilderoy Lockhart: [Draco Malfoy and Crabbe snigger] Freshly caught Cornish pixies.

    [more people chuckle]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Laugh after you, Mr. Finnigan. The pixies can be devilishly tricky little things. See what you make of them.

    [releases pixies, which attack students]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Round them up! Round them up! Round up the pixies

    [pixies ruin Lockhart's books and two of them lift Neville by the ear and drop him on the light on the ceiling]

    Neville Longbottom: Hey, get me down!

    Hermione: Get off me!

    Harry: No, stop, hold still!

    [hits pixie with book]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: Peskipiksi Pesternomi!

    [pixie grabs Lockhart's wand and cuts off chain of dinosaur skeleton, which falls]

    Gilderoy Lockhart: [to Harry, Ron, and Hermione] I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into your case.

    [runs away]

    Ron: What do we do now?

    Hermione: [takes out wand] Immobulus!

    [freezes pixies]

  • Gilderoy Lockhart: Yes, well, the point is the bones don't hurt anymore.

    Hagrid: Bones? There aren't any bones left!

Browse more character quotes from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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