Gil Quotes in Bubble Boy (2001)

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Gil Quotes:

  • Gil: Yes, the Round One. A holy messenger trapped in a living globe. We must find him and release him so that he will carry us, the only true believer, to the Kingdom of Heaven, while those who reject him will mutate and burn eternally on Planet PX41, and Planet PX42 if they run out of room. Now, if there are no further questions, let's move on to the buffet.

  • Gil: I have just seen your first needy motorist.

  • Gil: A boy your age should be out, oh, splitting atoms, or whatever it is boys do.

  • Gil: Before you make those kinds of demands you should put a note on your door that says, "Do not come into my room and read my diary and wear my clothes."

  • Man Ray: A man in love with a woman from a different era. I see a photograph!

    Luis Buñuel: I see a film!

    Gil: I see insurmountable problem!

    Salvador Dalí: I see rhinoceros!

  • Gil: Would you read it?

    Ernest Hemingway: Your novel?

    Gil: Yeah, it's about 400 pages long, and I'm just looking for an opinion.

    Ernest Hemingway: My opinion is I hate it.

    Gil: Well you haven't even read it yet.

    Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it because I hate bad writing, and if it's good, I'll be envious and hate all the more. You don't want the opinion of another writer.

  • Adriana: I can never decide whether Paris is more beautiful by day or by night.

    Gil: No, you can't, you couldn't pick one. I mean I can give you a checkmate argument for each side. You know, I sometimes think, how is anyone ever gonna come up with a book, or a painting, or a symphony, or a sculpture that can compete with a great city. You can't. Because you look around and every street, every boulevard, is its own special art form and when you think that in the cold, violent, meaningless universe that Paris exists, these lights, I mean come on, there's nothing happening on Jupiter or Neptune, but from way out in space you can see these lights, the cafés, people drinking and singing. For all we know, Paris is the hottest spot in the universe.

  • Gil: These people don't have any antibiotics!

    Adriana: What are you talking about?

    Gil: Adriana, if you stay here though, and this becomes your present then pretty soon you'll start imagining another time was really your... You know, was really the golden time. Yeah, that's what the present is. It's a little unsatisfying because life's a little unsatisfying.

    Adriana: That's the problem with writers. You are so full of words.

  • Gil: That's what the present is. It's a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying.

  • Gil: Gil Pender.

    Ernest Hemingway: Hemingway.

    Gil: Hemingway?

    Ernest Hemingway: You liked my book?

    Gil: Liked? I loved all of your work.

    Ernest Hemingway: Yes. It was a good book because it was an honest book, and that's what war does to men. And there's nothing fine and noble about dying in the mud unless you die gracefully. And then it's not only noble but brave.

  • Helen: We saw a wonderfully funny American film last night.

    Inez: Who was in it?

    Helen: Oh, I don't know. I forget the name.

    Gil: Wonderful but forgettable. It sounds like a film I've seen. I probably wrote it.

  • Gil: Hi Mr. Hemingway.

    Ernest Hemingway: The assignment was to take the hill. There were four of us, five if you counted Vicente, but he had lost his hand when a grenade went off and couldn't fight as could when I first met him. And he was young and brave, and the hill was soggy from days of rain. And it sloped down toward a road and there were many German soldiers on the road. And the idea was to aim for the first group, and if our aim was true we could delay them.

    Gil: Were you scared?

    Ernest Hemingway: Of what?

    Gil: Of getting killed.

    Ernest Hemingway: You'll never write well if you fear dying. Do you?

    Gil: Yeah, I do. I'd say probably, might be my greatest fear actually.

    Ernest Hemingway: It's something all men before you have done, all men will do.

    Gil: I know, I know.

    Ernest Hemingway: Have you ever made love to a truly great woman?

    Gil: Actually, my fiancé is pretty sexy.

    Ernest Hemingway: And when you make love to her you feel true and beautiful passion. And you for at least that moment lose your fear of death.

    Gil: No, that doesn't happen.

    Ernest Hemingway: I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well, which is the same thing. And when the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face like some rhino hunters I know, or Belmonte, who's truly brave. It is because they love with sufficient passion to push death out of their minds, until the return that it does to all men. And then you must make really good love again. Think about it.

  • Gil: Yes, but you're a surrealist! I'm a normal guy!

  • Gil: I'm jealous and I'm trusting. It's cognitive dissonance. F. Scott Fitzgerald talked about it.

  • Inez: You're in love with a fantasy.

    Gil: I'm in love with you.

  • [first lines]

    Gil: This is unbelievable! Look at this! There's no city like this in the world. There never was.

    Inez: You act like you've never been here before.

    Gil: I don't get here often enough, that's the problem. Can you picture how drop dead gorgeous this city is in the rain? Imagine this town in the '20s. Paris in the '20s, in the rain. The artists and writers!

    Inez: Why does every city have to be in the rain? What's wonderful about getting wet?

  • Gil: You can fool me, but you cannot fool Ernest Hemingway!

  • Gil: 500 francs for a Matisse? Yeah I think that sounds fair! You know, I wonder if actually I can pick up 6 or 7?

  • Gil: I'm a huge Mark Twain fan. I think you can make the case that all modern American literature comes from Huckleberry Finn.

    Ernest Hemingway: Do you box?

    Gil: No. Well... Not really, no.

  • Ernest Hemingway: I think a woman is equal to a man in courage. Have you ever shot a charging lion?

    Adriana: Never.

    Ernest Hemingway: Would you like to know how that feels?

    Adriana: I don't think so.

    Ernest Hemingway: You ever hunted?

    Adriana: No.

    Ernest Hemingway: You?

    Gil: Only for bargains.

  • Adriana: Well, good luck with your book and your wedding

    Gil: Thanks, I think you would like Inez she has a, a very sharp sense of humour and attractive, I wouldn't say that we agree on everything

    Adriana: But the important things

    Gil: Yeah, or actually maybe the small things, sometimes there is a little bit of a disconnect with the big things. She wants to live in Malibu and wants me to work in Hollywood... but i will say that we both like Indian food, not all Indian food, but the pita bread, we both like pita bread, I guess its called naan

  • Gil: You're very kind, but I wouldn't call my babbling poetic. Although I was on a pretty good roll there.

  • Gil: Thomas Stearns Eliot? T.S. Eliot? T.S. Eliot? Prufrock is like my mantra.

  • [last lines]

    Gabrielle: By the way, my name is Gabrielle.

    Gil: I'm Gil, nice to meet you. It's a pretty name.

  • Gil: You know how I think better in the shower, get all those positive ions flowing.

  • Gil: He's a pseudo-intellectual. Just a little bit.

    Inez: Ah, Gil, I hardly think he'd be lecturing at the Sorbonne if he's a pseudo-intellectual.

  • Gil: It's understated but elegant. That's what you always say.

    Helen: Cheap is cheap. That's what I always say.

  • Ernest Hemingway: You'll never be a great writer if you fear dying, do you?

    Gil: Yeah, I do. I would say it's my greatest fear.

  • Gil: I'm having trouble because I'm a Hollywood hack who never gave real literature a shot.

  • Gil: That was Djuna Barnes? No wonder she wanted to lead.

  • Gil: What is it with this city? I need to write a letter to the Chamber of Commerce.

  • Gil: They are your friends and I have to admit I'm not quite as taken with them as you are.

  • Gil: She's right, I recently read a two-volume biography of Rodin, and Rose was the wife, Camille the mistress.

  • Gil: Wow! Didn't take Gauguin long to start steaming in.

  • Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.

    Gil: Yeah, if she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?

  • [Gil has been complaining about his complicated life; Grandma wanders into the room]

    Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.

    Gil: Oh?

    Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!

    Gil: What a great story.

    Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

  • Gil: What's the matter, honey? You don't feel so good?

    Taylor: Yeah.

    Gil: You feel like you wanna throw up?

    Taylor: Okay.

    [vomits all over Gil, and starts crying]

    Karen: Oh Taylor, baby... Gil, why are you standing there?

    Gil: Waiting for her head to spin around.

  • Student 1 at College: Someone's gone to the roof of the bell tower with a rifle!

    Dean at College: It's Kevin Buckman! His father totally screwed him up!

    Student 2 at College: What's he yelling?

    Kevin Buckman Age 21: YOU MADE ME PLAY SECOND BASE!

    Gil: [Yelling through a megaphone] Son, I'm sorry. I did all the best I could.

    [Kevin shoots the megaphone from his hands]

    Gil: Nice shot, son! It's important to be supportive. Come on, let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea..."

  • Karen: Do you really have to go?

    Gil: My whole life is "have to."

  • Gil: Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.

  • Gil: We'll throw away the TV. We'll perform Shakespeare in front of him.

  • Gil: Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.

  • Frank: [on parenting] It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and it's just as frightening.

    Gil: That's true.

    Frank: There is no end zone. You never cross the goal line, spike the ball and do your touchdown dance. Never.

  • Justin: Who's that?

    Gil: It's my kid brother, Larry, your uncle. Don't give him any money.

    Justin: I won't.

  • [after his wife just told him she's pregnant with their 4th child]

    Gil: Well, great! Let's see how I can screw the fourth one up! Hey, let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts!

  • Frank: Gil, you have a good memory. Uh, was it yours or Helen's or Susan's wedding I got drunk at?

    Gil: It was all three, Dad. Congratulations.

    Frank: Well, which one did I punch the band leader?

    Gil: That was mine. We have photos. I'm having them blown up for the commitment hearings.

    [Susan laughs]

    Frank: [mimics Susan laughing] Well, you think he's funny. Well, when he was a kid, he wasn't as funny. Stayed in his room all day. Boy, you were a moody little son of a bitch.

    Gil: [sarcastically] Gee, I wonder why.

  • Gil: They call me Cowboy Gil, as in guil-ty. I saw Cowboy Dan. I didn't like the look on his face. It was like this...

    [smiles goofily]

    Gil: ... so I killed him. I blew a hole in him this big. Actually it was about this big. You know, when I think about it, that hole was about THIS BIG! And his guts were spilled out all over the floor. As I was walkin' away, I slip around on his guts. A couple of other people came by and started slippin' on his guts too. After I blow a hole in somebody and slip around on their guts... afterwards, I always like to make balloon animals. That's mighty courteous of you. Here we go!

    [holds up jumbled of twisted balloons]

    Gil: Your lower intestines.

  • Gil: [Frank has asked Gil for advice about Larry] And you want my advice? Why me? Why now?

    Frank: Because I know you think I was a shitty father.

    [Gil is silent]

    Frank: Thank you for not arguing. And I know you're a good father.

  • [after Gil and Karen get into an accident when she tries to "relax" him]

    Highway Policeman: So, how did this happen?

    Gil: [gives Karen a look] Show him, honey.

  • Nathan: Did he say "Cool"?

    Gil: Cool.

  • [In the car after the baseball game, Kevin is singing "The Diarrhea Song" while Taylor laughs]

    Kevin Buckman: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy, diarrhea, diarrhea.

    Karen: Kevin, honey, where did you learn that song?

    Kevin Buckman: Last summer at camp, Mom.

    Gil: Ah, that was money well spent.

    JustinTaylorKevin Buckman: When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhea, diarrhea.

  • Gil: [Gil and Larry are reuniting] How long has it been? Three years?

    Larry Buckman: Something like that.

    Gil: You stopped wearing your turban!

    Larry Buckman: [laughs] Yeah!

  • [Gil sees Justin wearing nothing but a gunbelt]

    Gil: That's what you're wearing to bed? You'll catch a cold!

    [Justin puts on a cowboy hat]

    Gil: Perfect!

    [Karen enters]

    Gil: Karen, how about after the kids are asleep...

    [referring to Justin]

    Gil: I wear this outfit?

  • Gil: They're bad dudes. That's why they call the game "Bad Dudes."

  • Lou: Hey, Gil, our boys finally gonna win one game?

    Gil: Way to be supportive, Lou.

  • Gil: [lights went out unexpectedly and have just been turned on. Gil thinks he has a flashlight but is holding a vibrator] What's this?

    [switches vibrator on]

    Gil: [lights come up, Gil laughs and leaves the room]

    Taylor: Mommy, what was that?

    Karen: That was... an electric ear cleaner.

    Taylor: It was kind of big.

    Grandma: It sure was!

  • Frank: You know, when you were two years old, we thought you had polio. Did you know that?

    Gil: Yeah, Mom said... something about it a couple of years ago.

    Frank: Yeah, well, for a week we didn't know. I hated you for that.

    [Gil looks surprised and hurt]

    Frank: I did. I hated having to care, having to go through the pain, the hurt, the suffering. It's not for me.

  • Justin: [seeing Taylor get pushed around in a school play] They're hurting my sister!

    Gil: He's going! Get him!

    Justin: Hang on, Taylor! Taylor, I'm gonna save you.

  • Patty: [reading a book] The Penal Colony, by Franz Kafka.

    Gil: Hey, Nathan, Patty a doctor yet?

    Nathan: Mock if you will.

    Gil: All right.

    Nathan: Our children are more capable of retaining and absorbing information than we are and yet we insist on treating them like adorable little morons.

    Gil: What are you saying, Patty can learn things I can't learn?

    Nathan: [lays out four cards with lots of red dots stuck on them] Patty, which one of these is the square root of 8,649?

    Patty: [looks at the cards for a few seconds then points at one] 93.

    [Nathan picks up the card, checks the answer on the back then shows it to Gil. Patty is correct. Gil pulls an expression of disbelief and thumps his head with his palm]

    Nathan: They're like sponges, Gil, just waiting to absorb.

    Justin: [picks up one of the cards] I want this.

    Nathan: You see? Take my advice, forget about Kevin and Taylor, it's too late. Work on Justin.

    Gil: Actually, Justin is quite bright. In his preschool class, he was the only...

    [Justin picks one of the red dot stickers off the card and puts it in his mouth]

    Gil: Slow down, Justin. I'll get you some dip.

  • Gil: Let's get sour on some Krauts!

  • Gil: Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again!

  • Gil: There's a physiological as well as psychological angle in my father's relationship with Julia Wolf that the police have overlooked, and I think it settles the whole question. You see, my father was a sexagenarian.

    Reporter: He was?

    Gil: Yes, he admitted it.

    Reporter: A sexagenarian, eh?

    Gil: [nods]

    Reporter: But we can't put that in the paper.

    Gil: Why not?

    Reporter: You know how they are; sex?

    Gil: Well, then just say he was sixty years old.

    Reporter: Is that what that means?

    Gil: Of course!

  • Nora Charles: Gilbert, you've been listening on the extension again.

    Gil: Of course, what else is an exension for ?

  • Gil: Could I come down and see the body? I've never seen a dead body.

    Lieutenant John Guild: Why do you want to?

    Gil: Well, I've been studying psychopathic criminology and I have a theory. Perhaps this was the work of a sadist or a paranoiac. If I saw it I might be able to tell.

    Lieutenant John Guild: Yeah, that's a good idea. But don't you bother to come down - we'll bring the body right up to you.

  • Gil: You have an Oedipus complex and you won't admit it.

    Dorothy: Oh, please, Gilbert.

    Gil: The trouble with you is you won't face facts. Now, I know I have a mother fixation - but, it's slight. It hasn't yet reached the point of where I...

    Dorothy: Stop it, Gilbert! Stop it!

  • Gil: I've got my eye on you, Gordon.

    Charlie Gordon: You're not so bad yourself! Heh! Heh! Heh!

  • [on Gil and parenting]

    Pam: You would have been a great dad.

    Gil: We tried. It wasn't meant to be.

  • Gil: She wouldn't lie.

    Charley: She's a mother. It's a sick, sick bond. Think of yours; think of mine. It's unwholesome.

  • Gil: Are you a man or a mouse?

    Dr. Hackenbush: You put a piece of cheese down there and you'll find out.

  • Tony: [to Stuffy] Morgan fired you, huh? He wanted you to throw the race?

    Gil: Wanted Stuffy to be crooked, eh?

    Tony: Yeah, you know he's honest!

    [Stuffy's hand starts to creep into ice cream cart - Tony slams the lid of his down onto it]

    Tony: He's honest, but you gotta watch him a little.

  • Gil: Shut up, Kurt Loder.

  • Gil: You just talked with your mouth full - don't ever do that again.

  • Gil: [to village girl] You're awful pretty for... well, ya know, for one of you.

Browse more character quotes from Bubble Boy (2001)

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