Gib Quotes in True Lies (1994)


Gib Quotes:

  • Harry: [holding Simon at the edge of an aquaduct] Son of a bitch, Did you think you can elude us forever, Carlos, huh?

    Simon: Hey, you got the wrong guy! My name's Simon! Just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...

    [Harry and Gib remove their masks]

    Simon: face. No, no, no I didn't see it, I didn't see it!

    [realizes that it is Harry]

    Simon: Oh, it's you! Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?

    Gib: Hey, Carlos? Game's over. Your career as an international terrorist is well documented.

    Simon: No...

    Gib: -Oh, yeah.

    Simon: No...

    Gib: Oh, yeah!

    Simon: No!

    Gib: OH, YEAH!

    Simon: No, I sell cars! That's all! C'mon, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun, I'd...

    Harry: [Harry takes his gun out and points it in Simon's face]

    Simon: [Whining and pleading] Oh God, no, please don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!

    [Harry and Gib gave Simon a weird look, then Simon pees his pants]

    Simon: Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh? Please, I'm not worth a bullet. Oh, mercy sir!

    Harry: [Disgusted] Get the fuck out of here. Just go, just beat it.

    Simon: No, no, as soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me!

    Gib: [Gib and Harry get into their van] Get lost, dipshit.

    [fires a few rounds into the ground near Simon]

  • Gib: [to Harry] Same thing happened to me with wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?

  • Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!

  • [last lines to himself, inside a surveillance van ]

    Gib: You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for 15 years, Harry.

  • [to Dana, who's wearing a helmet,]

    Gib: [as she leaves the kitchen] Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.

  • Simon: [in a Chinese restaurant] Did you read the papers yesterday?

    Helen Tasker: [whispers] Yes.

    Simon: Sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. See "Two men killed in a restroom and two unidentified men in a running shootout ending at the Marriot."

    Helen Tasker: That was you.

    Harry Tasker: [listening to their conversation with Gib]

    Simon: You see...

    Harry Tasker: [whispers to Gib] That was me.

    Simon: You're very good. You recognize my style. You're a natural at this.

    Gib: The guy's a fake, man. He's taking credit for our moves.

    Helen Tasker: What happened?

    Simon: Hardly worth talking about. Two of them won't bother me again.

    Gib: Unbelievable!

    Helen Tasker: You chased one?

    Simon: Something came over me. I just had to nail this guy no matter what the risk. Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a couple of times. But I can't take credit.

    Helen Tasker: Why not?

    Simon: It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react in a microsecond without thinking.

    Gib: [laughing] I'm startin' to like this guy.

    [Harry gives him a mean look]

    Gib: [gets serious] We still gotta kill him. That's a given. You know.

  • Faisil: [the van is slipping on ice] Hey, watch it.

    Gib: It's called ice, and it gets a little slick.

  • Harry: [driving in their SUV] You tell on me, I tell on you.

    Gib: What are you talking about, I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm as clean as...

    Harry: What about that time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?

    Gib: You knew about that?

    Harry: Uh-huh.

  • Harry: [over the radio, riding in the middle of a park] Make it quick because my horse is getting tired.

    Gib: [over the radio] Your horse?

  • Gib: [over radio] All right twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?

    Harry: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.

    Gib: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.

  • [about Harry's daughter, just having entered the fake computer company]

    Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin?

    Harry: Dont be ridiculous, she's only - -what is she now?

    Gib: She's fourteen!

    Harry: She's fourteen years old!

    Gib: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.

  • [Harry has just returned from Helen's office and is shell-shocked]

    Harry: Helen... Helen...

    Gib: Helen...?

    Harry: Helen...

    Gib: It's got something to do with Helen, I'm guessing.

    Harry: Helen...

    Harry: [on the sidewalk next to their SUV] Helen... is having an affair!

    Gib: [hugs him] Welcome to the club, man!

  • Gib: Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.

  • Gib: [in their SUV, following Simon and Helen, arrived at Simon's used car dealership] The guy is a goddamn used car salesman!


    Gib: I mean, this just keeps getting better and better!

    [Harry gives him a dirty look]

    Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this has got to be painful. But you gotta admit, it's pretty damn funny. I mean, if it was just some idiot and not you, you'd be laughing your ass off.

    [starts to laugh]

  • Gib: So your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!

  • Gib: [on the floor of the fake computer company] Care to tango?

    Faisil: Yes, I would.

    Harry: [they start dancing] Assholes.

  • Harry: [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, notices something, and quickly pulls the car over to the side of the road and up onto the curb]

    Gib: [getting out of the passenger side] My turn to drive?

    Harry: Give me the page!

    Gib: What?

    Harry: This jumps from page 9 to page 11, where's page 10?

    Gib: [looks at paper] Must be a typo.

    Harry: [shouts, breaks the window with his bare fist] Give me the goddamn page!

    Harry: ok

    [Gib looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat]

    Harry: OK.

  • [talking about Harry Tasker's wife, in a car with Simon]

    Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.

    [to Harry Tasker]

    Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.

  • Gib: [to Harry, referring to Juno Skinner, over the radio] Seconds count buddy. Ditch the bitch.

  • [Harry becomes angered when he discovers that Helen may be having an affair]

    Gib: What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was only a matter of time.

  • Faisil: [sitting next to Albert, hacking into a computer inside their surveillance van] Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt, and I AM GOIN...

    Gib: [covers his microphone so Harry wont hear him] Just copy the goddam files, OK?

  • [Harry returns to the van after escaping the castle]

    Harry: Hi guys.

    Gib: Well that worked real good. Right out the old front gate.

    Harry: Can you lean back a second...

    [Harry shoots two remaining pursuers]

  • [Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter]

    Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?

    Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.

  • Gib: Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy?

  • [Harry lights up a cigarette and starts coughing]

    Gib: [over the radio] Dickhead.

    Harry: [over the radio, walking on the street] Blow me.

  • Gib: You aren't her parents anymore, her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna, you can't compete with that kind of bombardment.

  • Gib: [talking to Helen in a disguised voice] If you don't complete your mission, the deal is off

    [hangs up the phone]

    Gib: I'm going to hell.

  • Gib: [shouting to civilians after pursuing Aziz throughout the hotel] Federal officer! Get down now! Duck or Die!

  • Gib: [to Harry, who thinks his wife is having an affair] Hey, Harry. Listen, Helen still loves you. You know, she just wants to bang this guy for a while. You know? It's nothing serious. You'll get used to it soon...

    Harry: [slams him up against a car] Stop cheering me up!

  • Gib: [helping Harry into their SUV] You know what? I say we concentrate on work, buddy. That's what I do every time my life turns to dog shit. I concentrate on work, and that gets me by. All right, buddy? This is gonna be great. You know what? We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of them, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.

  • Harry: Put a tap on her phone.

    Gib: What are you talking about? I already did that.

    Harry: I'm talking about Helen's. Put a tap on her office line and the line to my house. Do it NOW.

    Gib: Okay. All right. Just come over her. Sounds great. I just wanna ask you about something.

    [takes him aside]

    Gib: I got two words to describe that idea, in-sane. An unauthorized wire tap is a felony, pard...

    Harry: [slams him up against the wall] And we're doing it twenty times a day! So don't give me that crap.

  • Gib: [encounter a padlocked trailer while attempting to get out of the rain] It's locked! Good! This is very good! It's important that this place should have an air-tight security system... in the middle of nowhere!

    Alison: [digs through her bag] I might have a nail file... I have a credit card. I have a credit card!

    Gib: Credit cards work on a completely different kind of lock.

    Gib: No, you don't seem to understand. I have a credit card!

    Gib: You have a credit card?

    Alison: I have a credit card!

    Gib: [relieved] You have a credit card.

    Alison: [suddenly crestfallen] Oh. My dad told me *specifically* I can only use it in case of an emergency.

    Gib: [sarcastically] Well, maybe one will come up.

  • Gib: [opening lines] Consider outer space. You know, from the time of the first NASA mission, it was clear that outer space has a clear effect on the human psyche. Why, during the first Gemini mission, thought was actually given to sending up a man and a woman... together.

    Julie: [interested] Really?

    Gib: A cosmic 'Adam and Eve,' if you will. Bound together by fate, situated on the most powerful rocket yet known to man. It's giant thrusters blasting them into the dark void, as they hurtle towards their final destination: the gushing wellspring of life itself.

    [she is entranced]

    Gib: How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense it could conceivably change your political views?

  • Alison: You'll never believe what I wanted to be when I was six.

    Gib: A classics professor?

  • Gib: [talks to Alison while she swims] I flunk English, I'm outta here. Kiss college goodbye. I don't know what I'll do. Dad will be pissed off. Mom will be heartbroken. If I play my cards right, I get maybe a six-month grace period and then I gotta get a job, and you know what that means.

    [Alison ignores him]

    Gib: That's right, they start me at the drive-up window and I gradually work my way up from shakes to burgers, and then one day my lucky break comes: the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job! But the day I'm supposed to start, some men come by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can make a quick 300 just for driving a van back from Mexico! When I get out of jail I'm 36 years old. Living in a flop house. No job. No home. No upward mobility. Very few teeth. And then one day they find me, face down, talking to the gutter, clutching a bottle of paint thinner. And *why*? Because *you* wouldn't help me in English, no! You were too busy to help me! Too busy to help a drowning man!

    [he falls into the pool]

  • Gib: You know, I've never met anyone like you before. Usually when I meet someone new I feel awkward and shy. But with you it's different. I can talk to you. You know what I'm thinking without my having to explain to you in fancy terms. We speak each other's unspoken language... fluently. I love you.

  • Gib: What the hell's wrong with being stupid once in awhile? Does everything you do always have to be sensible? Haven't you ever thrown waterballoons off a roof? When you were a little kid didn't you ever sprinkle Ivory flakes on the living room floor 'cause you wanted to make it snow in July? Didn't you ever get really shitfaced and maybe make a complete fool of yourself and still have an excellent time?

  • Alison: What are you doing?

    Gib: I'm going to bed.

    Alison: Not with me you're not.

    Gib: I'm not going to bed with you, I'm going to bed in a bed you happen to be in also.

  • Cop: [reading off citations to Gary Cooper] Indecent exposure, driving as so to endanger...

    Gib: ...Driving with the load not properly tied down.

  • [after seeing Alison]

    Gib's friend: Forget her, I hear she only likes intellectuals

    Gib: So? I'm intellectual and stuff.

    Gib's friend: You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff.

  • Fat Guy in Bar: What's wrong with me? I'm a good-looking guy.

    Gib: You are. You are a good-looking guy. And I'm a good-looking guy.

    Fat Guy in Bar: You are.

    Gib: I am.

    Cowboy Guy: We're all three good-looking guys.

    Gib: That's right. We are. And it's Christmas time, and I'm gonna buy you a drink.

    Fat Guy in Bar: Something light...

    Gib: What, like a nice Chablis?

    Fat Guy in Bar: No... Spritzer.

    Gib: Spritzer?

    Fat Guy in Bar: Yeah.

    Gib: Barkeep! Get this man a trough of Spritzer. And you, Cowboy Guy, what do you wanna drink?

    Cowboy Guy: I'll have a beer.

    Gib: Get Cowboy Guy a beer.

  • Gib: You know, junk food doesn't deserve the bad rap that it gets. Take these pork rinds for example. This particular brand contains two percent of the R.D.A. - that's Recommended Daily Allowance - of riboflavin.

  • Gib: Sorry I'm late. There was this big problem... and I'm late because of it.

  • Alison Bradbury: [checking her calendar] Let's see, Friday. 5:30, dinner. 6:00, Calculus. 7:00, news. 7:30, shower. 7:45, phone call. Eight o'clock?

    Gib: [sarcastic] Gee, I don't know. That's when I rearrange my sock drawer.

  • Gib: [slams Lance against a wall after a conversation with the Sure Thing] You told her I was a virgin?

    Lance: So I exaggerated a little. Girls like virgins. They find them a challenge.

    Gib: She thought I was gay!

    Lance: It's a bigger challenge.

  • Alison: You can't go in there.

    Gib: Yes I can. This is America, you can go anywhere.

  • Alison: You didn't sleep with her?

    Gib: Still seeing Jason?

    Alison: Broke up.

    Gib: That's too bad.

    Alison: You didn't sleep with her.

    Gib: Wasn't my type.

  • Gib: I'm gonna miss you, Lance.

    Lance: It's your own fault, you know. You should be coming out to California with me.

    Gib: Yeah, right. Get a totally bitchin' education out there, dude. California. You could be coming to New England with me, you know.

    Lance: Are you crazy? The Ivy leagues stink. All they got there are those ugly intellectual girls with Band-Aids on their knees from playing the cello. No thank you.

  • Gib: How's this for an opening line: "Did you know that Nietzsche died of syphilis?"

    Jimbo: How do you spell zucchini?

    Gib: Z-u-c-h-i-n-i. No, Nietzsche's too obscure. Umm... how about: "Did you know that Shakespeare died of syphilis?" No, she probably knows that isn't true. I don't know what to say.

Browse more character quotes from True Lies (1994)