Genie Quotes in Aladin (2009)

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Genie Quotes:

  • Aladin: Magic lamp? Genie? Three wishes? How is it possible?

    Genie: Like this...

  • Aladin: Magic lamp? Genie? Three wishes? How is it possible?

    Genie: Anything is possible!

  • Genie: I'm Genius, man!

  • Genie: Bom bili bom bili-bili bom-bom bili bom bili bom bili-bili bom-bom...

  • Aladdin: Genie, I wish for your freedom.

    Genie: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I... What?

    Aladdin: [holds the lamp up to Genie] Genie, you're free!

  • Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

  • Genie: I'm free. I'm free. Quick. Quick. Wish for something outrageous. Say, "I, I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that!

    Aladdin: Uh... I wish for the Nile.

    Genie: No way!

    [laughs]

    Genie: Oh, does that feel good!

  • Genie: [as a group of cheerleaders] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!

    Jafar: [as a snake] You stay out of thisss!

    Genie: [weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!

  • Genie: So, what'll it be, Master?

    Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?

    Genie: [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos.

    Aladdin: Like?

    Genie: [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody.

    [cuts his head off]

    Genie: So don't ask.

    Genie: [fixes his head] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.

    [turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin]

    Genie: You little punim there.

    Genie: [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!

    [he returns to normal]

    Genie: Other than that, you got it.

  • Genie: [as Jack Nicholson] All right, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?

    Aladdin: What?

    Genie: [pointing to each word on a blackboard] Tell her, the TRUUUUUUTH!

  • Aladdin: You're a prisoner?

    Genie: It's all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.

    [grows to a gigantic size]

    Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers!

    [shrinks down inside the lamp]

    Genie: Itty bitty living space!

  • [Genie and Carpet are playing chess]

    Genie: So, move.

    [Carpet makes a move]

    Genie: Hey! That's a good move.

    [as Rodney Dangerfield]

    Genie: I can't believe it. I'm losing to a rug.

  • Genie: But, oh, to be free! Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?", "Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, it's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.

  • Genie: [as a female flight attendant] Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye now. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Goodbye.

    Genie: [back to normal] Well, how about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?

    Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now, about my three wishes.

    Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by one, boy!

    Aladdin: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave, huh. You did that on your own.

    [Genie's mouth drops]

    Genie: Oh, I feel sheepish.

    [he turns into a sheep]

    Genie: All right, you ba-a-a-ad boy. But no more freebies.

  • Genie: [leaving to travel the world] I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am. I'm free-hee!

  • Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh.

    [to Abu]

    Aladdin: Some all powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like we're gonna have to find a way outta here.

    Genie: [stomps his foot to stop Aladdin, Abu, and Carpet from leaving] Excuse me?

    Genie: [scoffs]

    Genie: Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now! YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR WISHES, SO *SIDDOWN!*

  • [last lines after credits, special edition only]

    Genie: You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!

  • Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?

  • Genie: [as a bee] Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.

    Aladdin: Huh?

    Genie: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.

  • Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.

  • Genie: [sniffs tearfully] No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me.

    Sultan: That's right! You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem.

    Princess Jasmine: Father?

    Sultan: Well, am I Sultan or am I Sultan? From this day forth, the Princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy.

    Princess Jasmine: Him! I choose... I choose you, Aladdin.

    Aladdin: [chuckles] Call me Al.

  • Genie: [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!

  • [last lines]

    Genie: Made you look.

  • ["Snake" Jafar has Aladdin in a tight squeeze]

    Jafar: You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth.

    Iago: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a- Awk!

    [Genie elbows Iago and knocks him into the air]

    Jafar: Without the Genie, boy, you're nothing.

    Aladdin: The Genie... The Genie! The Genie has more power than you'll ever have!

    Jafar: What?

    Aladdin: He gave you your power. He can take it away.

    Genie: [smiling uncomfortably] Al, what're you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?

    Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best!

    Jafar: [slightly shocked] You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.

  • Genie: Al, I can't help you. I work for Senor Psychopath now.

  • Aladdin: Hey... can you make me a prince?

    Genie: [opens 'Royal Recipes' book] Uh, let's see. "Chicken à la King"?

    [chuckles]

    Genie: Nope. "Alaskan king crab".

    [pulls out a crab clamped to his finger]

    Genie: [flicking it off] Ow. I hate when they do that. "Caesar salad-"

    [arm with a knife raises from the book trying to stab him]

    Genie: Aah! Et tu, Brute? No. Aha! "To make a prince."

  • Jafar: [from inside the lamp] Get your blasted beak out of my face!

    Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron!

    Jafar: Don't tell me to shut up!

    Genie: [taking the lamp off Aladdin] Allow me. Ten thousand years in a Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out!

    [flicks them into the distance]

  • Genie: Oh, Al. I'm getting kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.

  • Genie: [as tailor] First, that fez and vest combo is much too third century. These patches. What are we trying to say? Beggar? No. Let's work with me here.

    [after taking measurements, turns Aladdin's rags into fine clothes]

    Genie: Ooh, I like it! Muy macho!

  • Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?

    Aladdin: Uh... uh, Aladdin.

    Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?

    [turns into a Scotsman]

    Genie: Sounds like, 'Here, boy!'

    [whistles]

    Genie: 'C'mon, Laddie!'

    [turns into a dog]

    Aladdin: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.

  • Genie: [whispers] Psst. Your line is "I'm going to free the Genie." Anytime.

  • Aladdin: Jasmine? I'm sorry I lied to you about being a prince.

    Princess Jasmine: I know why you did.

    Aladdin: Well, I guess... this... is goodbye?

    Princess Jasmine: Oh, that stupid law. This isn't fair! I love you.

    [Genie wipes away a tear from his eyes]

    Genie: Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word, and you're a prince again.

    Aladdin: But, Genie, what about your freedom?

    Genie: Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love! Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.

  • Genie: What would you wish of me?

    [as Arnold Schwarzenegger]

    Genie: The ever impressive...

    [as if trapped in a box]

    Genie: ... the long-contained...

    [as SeÃ’or Wences]

    Genie: ... the often immitated, but never...

    [multiplies himself]

    Genie: ... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp!

    [as Ed Sullivan]

    Genie: Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you.

  • Aladdin: Wait, wait a minute. I'm... your master?

    Genie: [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma] That's right! He can be taught!

  • Aladdin: Wish fulfillment?

    Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

  • Aladdin: So, three wishes. Hm, I want them to be good. What would you wish for?

    Genie: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case... Ah, forget it.

    Aladdin: What?

    Genie: No, I can't tell you.

    Aladdin: C'mon, tell me.

    Genie: Freedom!

  • [Aladdin is close to drowning, and his unconscious body falls and rubs against the lamp]

    Genie: [appearing with a bathing cap and washing his back] Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.

    [squeaks rubber duckie]

    Genie: Hello!

    [sees Aladdin]

    Genie: Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life." Got it? Okay!

    [shakes Aladdin]

    Genie: Come on, Aladdin!

    [Aladdin's head droops]

    Genie: I'll take that as a yes.

    [he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]

  • Genie: [on Carpet] In case of emergency, the exits are here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here - anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet!

    [zapping Carpet out from the cave]

    Genie: We're... outta here!

  • Genie: Do you mind if I kiss the monkey?

    [kisses Abu's head then coughs up small ball of fur]

    Genie: Oh! Hairball.

  • [Aladdin has tricked Jafar into wishing to be a more powerful genie than Genie]

    Jafar: The universe is mine to command! To control!

    Aladdin: Not so fast, Jafar! Aren't you forgetting something?

    Jafar: Huh?

    Aladdin: You wanted to be a genie? You got it!

    [cufflinks form on Jafar's wrists]

    Jafar: What?

    Aladdin: And everything that goes with it.

    [Aladdin holds up a black genie lamp, which sucks Jafar in]

    Jafar: No! No!

    Iago: I'm getting out of here!

    Aladdin: Phenomenal cosmic powers...

    [Iago tries to flee, but Jafar grabs him]

    Iago: Come on, you're the genie. I don't want, I don't...!

    [both Jafar and Iago disappear in the lamp]

    Aladdin: ...itty bitty living space.

    Genie: Al, you little genius, you!

  • Aladdin: They wanna make me Sultan. No, they wanna make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.

    Genie: Al, you won!

    Aladdin: Because of you. The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own. I... I can't wish you free.

    Genie: [disappointed] Fine, I understand. After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master!

    [disappears into lamp resentfully]

  • Genie: [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really...

    [notices Jafar]

    Genie: I don't think you're him.

    Genie: [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.

    Jafar: I am your master now!

    [crushes Genie under his foot]

    Genie: [muffled] I was afraid of that.

    Jafar: Genie, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on high, as Sultan!

  • [Genie is trying to organize an appropriate mode of transport for "Prince Ali" aka Aladdin and puts Abu the monkey through a series of transformations]

    Genie: [finally... ] Yes! Esalalumbo shimin Dumbo!

    [he turns Abu into an elephant]

    Genie: Talk about your trunk space. Check this action out!

  • [Jasmine has rejected "Prince Ali's" first advances toward her]

    Genie: [as a bee] Stop her! Stop her! Want me to sting her?

    Aladdin: Buzz off.

    Genie: OK, fine. But remember, "bee" yourself.

  • Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you're very...

    Genie: [as a bee] Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious! Punctual!

    Aladdin: Punctual!

    Princess Jasmine: Punctual?

    Genie: Sorry.

    Aladdin: Uh, beautiful!

    Genie: Nice recovery.

  • Genie: Well, l can't do any more damage around this Popsicle stand. l'm... outta here!

  • Genie: Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves / Scheherazade had a thousand tales / But master you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeves / You got a brand of magic, never fails / You've got some power in your corner now / Some heavy ammunition in your camp / You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how? / See, all you gott do is rub that lamp / And I'll say: Mr Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be? / Let me take your order, jot it down, you ain't never had a friend like me! / Life is your restaurant / and I'm your maitre'd! / Come on, whisper what it is you want / You ain't never had a friend like me! / Yes, sir, we pride ourselves on service / You're the boss, the king, the shah! / Say what you wish, it's yours true dish / How bout a little more baklava? / Have some of Column A / Try all of Column B / I'm in the mood, to help you dude / You ain't never had a friend like me!

    [performs tricks]

    Genie: Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that? / Can your friends pull this out their little hat? / Can your friends go poof? Well, looky here! / Can your friends go Abrakadabra, let her rip, and then make the sucker disappear? So don'tcha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed / I'm here to answer all your midday prayers / You've got me bona-fide, certified / You got a genie for your charge d'affaires / I've got a powerful urge to help you out / So what's your wish, I really wanna know! / You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt / Well, all you've gotta do is rub like so, and OH / Mister Aladdin sir, have a wish or two or three / I'm on the job, you big nabob / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend / You ain't never... had a... friend... like... ME! You ain't never had a friend like me!

  • Genie: Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar! Hey you! Let us through! It's a bright new star! / Oh come! Be the first on your block to meet his eye! / Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! / Are you gonna love this guy! / Prince Ali! Fabulous he! / Ali Ababwa / Genuflect, show some respect / Down on one knee! / Now, try your best to stay calm, brush up your Sunday salaam / Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!

    Genie: [takes on various forms] Prince Ali! Mighty is he! / Ali Ababwa / Strong as ten regular men, definitely! / He faced the galloping hordes, a hundred bad guys with swords / Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Prince Ali! / He's got 75 golden camels / Purple peacocks, he's got 53 / When it comes to exotic-type mammals / Has he got a zoo? I'm telling you / It's a world-class menagerie!

    Genie: [as a woman] Prince Ali! Handsome is he! / Ali Ababwa / That physique! How can I speak? / Weak at the knee / Well, get on out in that square, adjust your veil and prepare / to gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali! / He's got 95 white Persian monkeys / And to view them he charges no fee / He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies / They bow to his whim, love serving him / They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!

    [enters the caste]

    Genie: Prince Ali! Amorous he! / Ali Ababwa / Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see / And that good people is why, he got dolled up and dropped by / With 60 elephants, llamas galore / With his bears and lions / A brass band and more / With his 40 fakirs, his cooks, his bakers / His birds that warble on key / Make way for Prince Ali!

  • Genie: The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk - one too many hits with the snake.

  • Louie: I'm going to wish for a million wishes!

    Genie: Get serious! That never works!

  • Genie: [looks through an encyclopedia] Las Vegas must be some place if Caesar built his palace there!

  • Huey: Gee, I guess one of us has got to wish for peace and happiness all over the world.

    Genie: Hey. These are wishes, not miracles.

  • Dewey: [referring to Merlock] He can't still be alive.

    Louie: He'd be ancient.

    Huey: Yeah, older than Uncle Scrooge, even.

    Genie: Yes, except his first wish was to live for ever.

    Huey: Oh! Good wisher!

    Genie: [bursts into tears] No, BAD wisher! You don't know! He made me do the worst things!

    Dewey: Like what?

    Genie: Did you ever hear of Atlantis? It was everybody's favorite resort until Merlock couldn't make any reservations! Then down she went!... And poor Pompei! Mount Vesuvius would never had blown its top if Merlock hadn't blown his!

    Louie: But what are you worried about? He used up all his wishes.

    Genie: But that's just it - Merlock has unlimited wishes, because he has a magic talisman. It's what gives him all his powers... and when he puts it on the lamp, he gets as many wishes as he wants! Now you see why I'm a little jumpy?

    Louie: Well, maybe we should wish for the talisman?

    Genie: No, that's the one wish I can't do. You'll have to steal it from him yourself, and good luck!

    Louie: Well, don't worry about that mean old master now.

    Dewey: Yeah, he has no idea you're here with us.

    Huey: And that's the way it's going to stay.

  • [for her first wish, Webby wished for a baby elephant and the genie grants it against his will; a baby elephant appears in the room]

    Genie: Now look what you've gone and done!

    Webby: What's wrong? She's cute.

    Genie: And big! Big wishes always big trouble! The bigger the wish, the bigger the trouble!

    Louie: He's right. One look at that elephant, and Uncle Scrooge will want to know what's up.

    Genie: Everyone who sees it will, and pretty soon, everyone will be fighting over me, the wishes will get out of control, and I'll end up being in the lamp for another thousand years!

    Louie: Jeepers! I hadn't thought of that!

    Genie: So please, please! Make small wishes!

  • Genie: Hey, Pop! Give me a five! Get down! Get back! Get real! Get a haircut!

  • Mrs. Beakley: Children, I think your uncle has something to say to you.

    Scrooge McDuck: Aye... Welcome home! Can I get you and Gene anything? Cookies? Milk? Ice cream?

    Huey: Oh, no thank you, Uncle Scrooge.

    Louie: Yeah, we're kind of full.

    Webby: And sleepy.

    Scrooge McDuck: That's because it's past your bedtime. Now, scoot along, little ones.

    HueyDeweyLouieWebby: Good night, Uncle Scrooge.

    Genie: Nighty-night.

    Scrooge McDuck: Sleep tight.

    Duckworth: That's telling them, Sir.

  • Genie: Do you have to yell at me all the time?

    Scrooge McDuck: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess. Thanks to you, I've got this crazy animal act on my tail.

    Genie: That's it, blame the genie. I only saved your life.

  • Huey: How about a small speedboat?

    Genie: Oh, sure. You want that with or without an ocean?

    Huey: A little much, huh?

    Genie: Well, just a tad.

  • [Upon Merlock's arrival, a bear's claw comes smashing through the door]

    Scrooge McDuck: He's got a bear?

    Genie: He IS the bear!

  • Genie: What's more important - a fortune or your life?

    Scrooge McDuck: [thinking] Well...

    Genie: Hey! It's not exactly a trick question.

  • Dewey: Quick, get back in the lamp!

    Genie: No! Not the lamp! Put me in a dog house, a madhouse, even a house of pancakes! Anywhere but the lamp!

  • Huey: Can't he stay with us, Uncle Scrooge?

    Dewey: Yeah.

    Scrooge McDuck: Oh no! I'm not letting this wee gold mine out of my sight!

    Dewey: But he's our friend.

    Scrooge McDuck: Nonsense! A genie's not a person! A genie is a-a-a... a thing!

    [holds up lamp]

    Scrooge McDuck: Inside.

    Genie: Bye, guys. It was great while it lasted.

  • Genie: Finally, room to stretch! My foot's been asleep for six centuries.

  • Huey: You read the whole encyclopedia?

    Genie: Cover to cover to cover... what's this? Baseball? Bowling ball? Cinderella's ball?

    Huey: No, it's a globe of the Earth.

    Genie: Get back. You mean the Earth isn't flat? I must have missed that part.

    Louie: Boy, he HAS been in that lamp for a long time!

  • Huey: I wish for the world's biggest ice cream sundae. Uh, but not too big.

    Genie: Ice cream sundae, come on down!

    [Ice cream and whipped cream fall from the sky and land in the kiddie pool, but a giant cherry lands on Huey's head]

    Genie: Better watch out for that wind sheer.

  • Genie: You call these party animals? They're lifeless!

  • Genie: Music! Food! Guacamole! It's a party! Gotta boogie! Gotta Bingo! I gotta get out of this lamp!

    Scrooge McDuck: Can you keep quiet at all?

    Genie: If you let me out, I'll be as quiet as a mouse and just as small.

    Scrooge McDuck: Oh, all right!

    [lets the genie out]

    Genie: Hey! Look at that! A couple of single guys out on the town!

    Scrooge McDuck: Guess again.

    [puts genie in a little plant]

    Scrooge McDuck: You can watch the ball from here. Otherwise, you go back in the lamp.

    Genie: But what if I win the door prize?

  • Genie: It's not my fault Merlock's after me. I don't just want to be Mr. Popularity. All I wanted was a life of my own... like your nephews. My own bike, stack of comic books, a sled, maybe some ski equipment, a CD player, my own home video entertainment system...

    Scrooge McDuck: All right! All right!

  • Dijon: Good morning, Scrooge sir.

    Scrooge McDuck: What's going on?

    Dijon: At the urging of MY Genie, I have decided to seek my fortune.

    Genie: I-I never thought he'd wish for your fortune, Mr. McDuck, I swear!

    Scrooge McDuck: [looks at his lamp] But th-the lamp?

    [he sniffs the lamp, and gravy dumps out]

    Scrooge McDuck: Gravy?

    Dijon: [holds up the real lamp] That's right! I get the loot, you get the boot!

  • Genie: Shouldn't we be bird watching?

    Dijon: Don't worry about Merlock. He would not dare to confront the great and powerful Dijon!... Anyway, I don't think he knows about me yet.

  • Genie: I'm a boy! I'm a real boy! Now I can do all the things real boys do! Run through fields, play catch, roll over... wait, that's a dog.

  • Genie: How can I ever thank you, Master?

    Scrooge McDuck: I'm not your master anymore!

    Genie: That's right! Can I call you "Uncle Scrooge"?

    Scrooge McDuck: You're a sweet kid, but don't press your luck.

    Dewey: So, what do you want to do as your first day as a boy?

    Genie: Well, let me put it this way... you'll never catch me, coppers!

    Huey: Quackarooney!

    Louie: Oh boy!

    Dewey: I'm gonna get you!

    Webby: Are you coming with us, Uncle Scrooge?

    Scrooge McDuck: You go ahead, Webby dear. We quad-zillionaires have our own ideas of fun.

  • Genie: Oh no! It's Merlock! Hide me! Hide me!

    Scrooge McDuck: I've got to get you to my vault. It's the only safe place. Time to go back.

    Genie: But you saw what a dump it is.

    Scrooge McDuck: Sorry, Genie, but the party's over.

    Genie: [sighs] And just when we were getting to be buddies.

  • Scrooge McDuck: You maniac! Return the bin before I stuff that lamp down your throat!

    Genie: Uh-uh! Bad move! Bad!

    Merlock: You threaten me?

    Genie: [runs to Merlock] Please, Merlock. He's had a lousy day. Maybe a hot bath and a warm glass of goats milk oughta do...

    Merlock: [shouts] Silence! I wish you to cast him out of my house!

    Genie: No! No! I can't!

    Merlock: [shouts] Do it

    [he points the lamp at Genie causing him to spin around]

    Genie: [in pain] I have no choice!

    Scrooge McDuck: I... I understand.

  • Genie: [looks in a fridge] Whoo, cold food closet! Where do you hang the chickens?

  • Merlock: You remember our magnificent old home?

    Genie: Yeah, Casa De Coo-Coo.

  • Genie: I don't hear anything. I think they're gone.

    Scrooge McDuck: Where are we?

    Genie: Well, it's not exactly the Ritz...

    Scrooge McDuck: Not the lamp?

    Genie: I'm sorry about the mess. But you'll get used to it after a couple of thousand years. Could you move your elbow, please?

    Scrooge McDuck: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

  • Huey: Wait a second. What about our wishes?

    Genie: Wishes? Do I look like a birthday cake?

    Huey: Oh, come on! You can't fool us! A genie is supposed to grant wishes.

    Webby: That's three wishes for every master.

    Genie: Oh, geez! Everyone remembers that part.

  • Webby: Genie, you're gonna love playing tea party.

    Genie: I know. I read all about it. Can I be the guy who dresses like an Indian and throws the tea off the boat?

    Webby: No silly, not a Boston Tea Party.

  • Genie: Wish them back, please!

    Webby: I can't! That was my last wish!

    Genie: I wish you hadn't said that!

  • Genie: Wait, wait! Why give him the lamp?

    Dijon: Because the master wants it so badly.

    Genie: But don't you see, with the lamp you'll be the big chief? The hot falafel? The most powerful person on Earth? Oh, great master!

    Dijon: Master? Master? Master Dijon? Oh, I like it! I really like it!

  • Huey: This is Geni... Gene, yeah, Gene.

    Scrooge McDuck: You're new around here?

    Genie: Yeah, kinda. I pretty much pop up every now and then.

  • Genie: First, you have to hold the lamp...

    Louie: Yeah?

    Genie: Then, say, "I wish."

    Huey: Yeah?

    Genie: Then wish for something.

    Huey: That's all?

    Dewey: Boy! It's even user-friendly!

  • Genie: Shabooey!

  • Genie: You're a clever little man little master of the universe, but mortals are weak and frail. If their stomach speaks, they forget their brain. If their brain speaks, they forget their heart. And if their heart speaks

    [laughter]

    Genie: ... they forget everything.

  • Abu: How can you be so ungrateful?

    Genie: Grateful? Slaves are not grateful. Not for their freedom!

  • Abu: Where are we now ?

    Genie: Above the roof... of the world

    Abu: Has the world got a roof ?

    Genie: Of course. Supported by seven pillars, and the seven pillars are set on the shoulders of a genie whose strength is beyond thought, and the genie stands on an eagle, and the eagle on a bull, and the bull on a fish, and the fish swims in the sea of eternity...

  • Walter Buckell: [while using the Genie to imitate Dave] Sorry, it's my brother's cell phone. It's malfunctioning.

    [He turns to the Genie]

    Walter Buckell: It's supposed to be generating soothing sounds and vibrations that make your erogenous zones tingle with sexual desire.

    [She nods and gives him a thumbs up]

    Brittany Wood: Ooooo...

    [She moans as she starts to feel her body be sexually stimulated by the Genie's power]

    Brittany Wood: Oh!... Oh my God... Ooooo Woooooow!

    [She moans]

    Brittany Wood: That's a pretty cool cell phone! Oh! Do you know where I can get one of those?

    [She continues moaning]

    Walter Buckell: [Awkward, as Brittany keeps on moaning in pleasure in front of him] It uh... hits the spot, huh? The uh... the G-spot?

    Genie: Locating G-spot now.

    Brittany Wood: [She feels her pleasure spike] Oh my God!

    [She squeals and moans]

    Genie: Activating G-spot.

    Brittany Wood: [She writhes as she has a sudden orgasm] OH YES! WOOO YES! OH MY GOD! Oh!

    [She calms down as her orgasm ends]

    Brittany Wood: Hey you know what that idea of yours, sounds really good. You and me, right here, right now.

    [She leans in to kiss him, and she grabs his groin. He backs away, and realises he's soft]

    Brittany Wood: What's wrong?

    Walter Buckell: Nothing...

    Brittany Wood: Well, seems like you're the one who's not in the mood!

    Walter Buckell: Just gimme a second, okay? I'll be right back.

    [He walks off into the kitchen]

    Brittany Wood: Hurry up.

    [She smiles, and takes her bikini top off, leaving her topless]

    Genie: What's wrong? Wasn't she sexually stimulated enough?

    Walter Buckell: Oh yeah, she's ready.

    Genie: So, then what's the problem?

    Walter Buckell: I'm not! I mean... it's hard. I mean it's not hard.

    Genie: I don't understand.

    Walter Buckell: I was wondering... can I use this mind control power on myself?

    Genie: Yes, but why would you want to?

    Walter Buckell: Because... I wanna give myself a...

    [He gestures to his groin, and she understands]

    Walter Buckell: You know. I want it to last a long, long time. No one-minute wonder man, not with her.

    Genie: My data states that the human brain is the most powerful sexual organ in a person's body. So it should work.

    Walter Buckell: Then start humming.

    [He relaxes, and lets the genie do her magic]

  • Genie: I wanna know about human emotion! Sexual stimulation! What an orgasm feels like!

    Agatha Miller: Woah there big girl! You can't just explain things like that. You've just gotta feel them.

    Genie: How about you feel them, and I take notes?

    Agatha Miller: I can try.

    [She concentrates, thinking about various boring aspects of human life]

    Genie: I'm still a little vague on the orgasm part.

    Agatha Miller: To tell you the truth, so am I.

    Genie: Perhaps I can help!

    Agatha Miller: Oh I don't think-

    [the Genie smirks, and works her magic on Agatha, who begins to feel pleasure. She puts the Genie down, as her face turns from one of confusion to one of pleasure]

    Agatha Miller: Oh... wow.

    Genie: Just lie back and let me observe.

    Agatha Miller: [Agatha's moaning increases now, as her pleasure begins to increase. She lets out a loud howl as it erupts into a full orgasm. She pulls her jacket off, and lays back in pleasure, as the Genie enjoys the sensations that Agatha is feeling. Agatha is in full sexual bliss now, her face of of ecstasy, and she writhes around on the bed, moaning loudly] Oh my God! Oh I need a cold shower!

    [She lets out a series of pleasurable squeels, and rolls off the bed as her orgasm ends]

  • Dave Buckell: [He logs onto the Playpen live feed] Okay... Now, can you...

    Genie: Yes, and I am already making the connections.

    Dave Buckell: Alright. But how did you...

    Genie: Know what you were thinking? And how do I know what you're thinking now? I am picking up your thought patterns through that earpiece.

    Dave Buckell: You can read my mind?

    Genie: No, I can interpret your thoughts.

    Dave Buckell: Close enough.

    [the live feed has loaded]

    Dave Buckell: Oh baby. This is gonna be good. These Playpen girls have been teasing, taunting and frustrating the public for months now. It's time for them to get theirs.

    Genie: As you wish.

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Characters on Aladin (2009)