Gene Autry Quotes in Round-Up Time in Texas (1937)

Bill: Here's a cablegram for you, Gene. I reckon it came from your brother in South Africa.

Frog Milhouse: South Africa!

Gene Autry: Yeah, it's from Tex all right, fellas. Listen to this! "Dear Gene, Barkley and I discovered a rich diamond mine in the Valley of Superstition. Stop. Need horses badly, but impossible to buy. Stop. Bring at once as many as you can round up. Stop. We can auction off those not needed at big profit. Cable your plans immediately care of John Cardigan - Dunbar, South Africa."

Ranch hand: Diamonds, huh?

Frog Milhouse: He's got a diamond mine. A big one, he said!

Gene Autry: We're ridin', fellas. It's South Africa or bust!

[first lines]

Ranch hand Slim: Sure hate to see this outfit bust up after all the years we've been together.

Gene Autry: Why do you say that?

Ranch hand Slim: Oh, anything can happen to us with a new owner coming in.

Gene Autry: Oh, I'll admit things have been unsettled since Old Man Marshall died, but I understand that Van Fleet is a pretty nice guy.

Frog Millhouse: What difference does it make who owns the place as long as I ear regular?

Queen Tika: Gene Autry! How do you like our world?

Gene Autry: I think the dampness and dead air of your land is more suited for rats and moles.

Gene Autry: If you walk out now, you'll ruin the valley. Everybody will lose their homes, farms. You'll get your money! Baxter's arranging for a loan now and he'll be here to tell you himself.

Cornelius J. Courtney: Hey, Gene. Listen, I've been thinking it over, and I think maybe I ought to go with the others on the bus.

Gene Autry: Oh no you don't. Get up on that horse and shut up.

Cornelius J. Courtney: But, Gene...

Gene Autry: Remember, this was your idea.

Cornelius J. Courtney: I'd forgotten.

Gene Autry: I suppose you feel all right now that you've won another range war and become more crippled up than ever.

Gene Autry: What's the fellow wanted for, Sheriff?

Sheriff Manton: Murder! If you see him, shoot first and shoot straight.

Dr. Parker: You mean you're the son of the local cattle baron and we'd have played this town without telling me?

Gene Autry: Why should I?

Dr. Parker: What a fine partner you're turning out to be. Think of the ballyhoo: "Son of cattle king returns to share his triumphs with friends of his childhood." Why, we'll sell another twenty gallons at least.

Smiley: You better keep this

[Harry's pistol]

Smiley: in case he wakes up.

Gene Autry: I don't need it. He's a friend of mine.

Smiley: In that case, I'll keep it. We may meet some more friends of yours.

[Gene is treating Harry's gunshot wounds]

Gene Autry: Is that dope you sell really good for anything, Doc?

Dr. Parker: What? Doctor Parker's painless panacea is compounded from the healing roots and herbs brewed from the formula of a Kickapoo Indian chief whose daughter...

Gene Autry: I've heard that forty times a day for six months, but is it really good for anything?

Dr. Parker: Well, it won't hurt him any, but maybe we'd better get the iodine.

Gene Autry: I don't blame you for running away after the way you didn't answer my letters. All is forgiven. You look just the same, except for the frown. How come you stopped writing anyway?

Janet Brooks: Well, you see, I didn't think it was just right to go on after I...

[Janet indicates her wedding ring]

Gene Autry: Hadn't you better introduce me to your friend?

Jerry Brooks: Do you mean you don't know me? Why, I'm Jerry, Janet's little sister!

Gene Autry: The little freckle-faced kid that never could keep her stockings up?

Jerry Brooks: Uh-huh.

Gene Autry: I can't believe it! I don't know whether to kiss you or spank you.

Jerry Brooks: Don't you think I'm a little old to spank?

Gene Autry: I suppose you are. And it's probably a little too public to, ah, well anyway, it's too public.

Lee Wilson: Oh why was I ever born?

Gene Autry: Now this is no time for riddles.

Gene Autry: I don't mind being run over in stampedes, falling off cliffs, or fighting wild animals; but when a bunch of women tear my clothes off, I quit!

Lee Wilson: Now you have made a mess of things. You know Ford can't sing a note!

Gene Autry: Don't blame me, blame Collins.

Lee Wilson: Oh, I could ring his neck for this!

Fred Collins: [Collins enters] They're clamoring for an encore, Mr. Ford. Will you do another song?

Gene Autry: I'd be glad to.

Fred Collins: He's a sensation, and you've got me to thank for it!

Lee Wilson: Thanks.

Gene Autry: Wanted anyplace?

Mike Rawley: No, but there's plenty of places I ain't wanted.

Sue Warner: I hoped you let me stay around for a while.

Gene Autry: I don't think you'd like ranching. It's hard work.

Sue Warner: I can earn my keep.

Gene Autry: You know anything about horses?

Sue Warner: Do I! I parlayed a two dollar bet into a bundle that big!

[Sue holds her fingers three inches apart]

Sue Warner: I can cook... a little.

Gene Autry: Maybe you can parlay that into a lot.

Sue Warner: Oh, can I! Will you help me bring in my bags?

Gene Autry: Not in here! We have a nice cozy little room - in the barn.

Sue Warner: In the what?

Gene Autry: The barn.

Sue Warner: The barn! Oh. Well, how delightfully rustic.

[while shooting at a moose, Rawhide's rifle clicks on an empty chamber]

Gene Autry: Why don't you try loadin'?

Rawhide Buttram: You can't say I didn't give a sportin' chance.

Gene Autry: Now how do you expect to run all this junk without electricity?

Frog Millhouse: Well, we're gonna have electricity.

Gene Autry: Sure you will if lightning strikes you.

[Gene and Frog enter a bar pretending to be murderous outlaws]

Bartender: What'll it be, strangers?

Frog Millhouse: I'd like a glass of milk.

Gene Autry: [elbows Frog] Aw, he's always kidding. We'll drink whiskey straight and wash it down with lye.

[last lines]

Tadpole: How do you ask a girl to take a walk in Spanish?

Young senorita: You just take her like this...

[she takes his arm]

Young senorita: ...and start your walkin'.

Gene Autry: Hey, Tadpole, I thought you were a woman-hater.

Tadpole: Sure I am - this one's different.

Barbara Erwin: Now that you know what I think of you, how do you like it?

Gene Autry: I like it just fine. For the first time since you came here you're dealing off the top, and that's the only way I like to play.

[at the fiesta, Gene agrees to have his fortune told]

Fortune Teller: I see you do secret work for your country. You are what you call maybe - a federal agent.

Frog Millhouse: Hey, this dame knows too much. Lets get out of here!

Gene Autry: Oh, no. Go ahead.

Fortune Teller: But now I see you go on another job - a much bigger one.

Gene Autry: Right away?

Fortune Teller: Soon - very soon. But you like this job very much. I see you riding through the night. You are happy. I think you are in love, senor.

Checkerboard Band Member: Not that it's any of my business, Gene, but isn't it kind of dangerous leaving frog to guard him. That fellow is lible to get away.

Gene Autry: That's what I'm hoping.

[first lines]

[Gene, Smiley and the gang arrive in a Mexican town during a fiesta]

Frog Millhouse: Gee, I betcha this celebration is for us!

Gene Autry: I hardly think so. Besides, we gotta report to the Consul.

[first lines]

[leading the ranchers as they try battle mounting floodwaters]

Gene Autry: Watch out for a break on the left, men. Hey! Pile them four deep over there!

Mary Ford: This is Mary Ford, your KYX news commentator spot broadcasting from the edge of the raging Green Valley flood waters. Hundreds of men are fighting desperately to hold the river in its course. Their own houses are underwater, but they're fighting to save the rest of the valley. If you'll stand by for just a minute, I'll try to get one of the workers to say a few words. Pardon me, won't you say a few words to the radio audience?

Gene Autry: No! Pile 'em high over there, boys! Hey, wait a minute - yes, I will. I just want to tell you people we wouldn't have suffered this loss of life and property if that cheap politician, Congressman Fuller, had put through that flood control bill.

Mary Ford: Hey! You want me to lose my job?

Gene Autry: What did you expect me to say? Having a wonderful time - wish you were here!

Mary Ford: Congressman Fuller isn't going to run for re-election.

Gene Autry: Well, that won't break my heart.

Frog Millhouse: Who's going to run in his place?

Mary Ford: Gene!

Gene Autry: Say, did you land on your head?

Mary Ford: The evidence points to the other extremity.

Gene Autry: I'm no politician.

Mary Ford: You were no radio singer, either, until I shoved a microphone in front of you.

Hutton: I'm working for the boys who know how to take care of me.

Gene Autry: Well, here's my way of taking care of boys like you.

[Gene slugs him]

[last lines]

Gene Autry: Folks, if you're as tired of listenin' to your favorite commentator as I am, you'll be glad to know this is her last broadcast. From now on, she'll do her broadcastin' from the kitchen, 'cause I'm going to marry her.

Frog: How much money did those robbers get?

Sheriff Jim Mason: They got everything but the wastebasket - better than forty grand.

Gene Autry: And I talked those boys into putting the money where it was safe!

[Gene and Frog negotiate their salary as riverboat entertainers]

Gene Autry: If you're talkin' about money, I think we can agree on that.

Frog: Yeah! Personally, I'd work for peanuts - just room and board.

[Captain Bartlett eyes the portly Frog dubiously]

Captain Lige Bartlett: From the looks of you, that wouldn't be peanuts.

Gene Autry: Say, did you ever feel like a rat?

Frog: Well, no. I had one one time, though. He was a cute little fellow with pink ears.

Chuckwalla Jones: Oh, ah, say Gene, you didn't have no trouble gettin' the, ah...

[makes money sign with thumb and forefinger]

Gene Autry: Got the money right here in my pocket - a roll big enough to choke Champ on.

Chuckwalla Jones: Oh, don't give him no ideas. He'd eat it, too, if it was green enough.

J.B. Galloway, District Attorney: Say, you and Chuckwalla meant that about quitting and buying a ranch?

Gene Autry: Yeah, we're leavin' today. Thought we'd just start ridin' until we run onto something we liked.

J.B. Galloway, District Attorney: Well, if it doesn't work out, don't come back to me for a job... just reach into that top drawer and pin your own badge on.

Gene Autry: You're running away from those guys?

James Garland: I'm not walking away!

Estrellita Estrada: And all that you see is Estrada land - the Big Sombrero.

Gene Autry: Where's the end of it?

Estrellita Estrada: Oh, it's not in sight. There's a saying of my people that when you can look to the four corners and see only your own land, then you can truthfully say, "I have a rancho."

Gene Autry: It might get a little rough.

Luis Alvarado: You think because my bones are old, I have no stomach for danger?

[Shadrach Jones has lost the trail of the Indians he was tracking.]

Gene Autry: I thought you were an old Indian scout!

Shadrach Jones: Yeah, but these aren't old Indians we're scoutin'.

[Gene Autry tends to Shadrach's head wound]

Shadrach Jones: Bad?

Gene Autry: Not very.

Shadrach Jones: Which side?

Gene Autry: Left.

Shadrach Jones: Good. I've always had a cowlick on that side. Maybe this'll cover it.

[Shadrach Jones has just lost all his money gambling.]

Gene Autry: Do you know what a fool looks like?

Shadrach Jones: I certainly do. I can see myself in the lookin' glass, can't I?

[after tying Gene to a chair, Mary and Larry prepare to flee an approaching posse]

Gene Autry: Hey, wait a minute! Get me out of this steer's necktie and I'll help cloud your trail.

Larry Evans: Why should we trust you?

Gene Autry: Why, Ed's ghost would haunt me if I let them hang the wrong man.

Sheriff Cramer: I'll take your six-shooter.

Gene Autry: Now look here, Cramer...

Sheriff Cramer: Just to make sure you mind your own business. I don't wear this badge for fun, you know.

Dave Randall: Quit stalling. Where's Larry Evans?

Gene Autry: Say, that reminds me, Randall. Weren't you in that dice game when Norton was killed.

Dave Randall: That's right. So were Harper and Mason.

Jake Harper: Now, Gene, you don't think one of us daylighted Ed?

Gene Autry: Just gonna make some java. Care to join me?

Sheriff Cramer: Not me - your coffee'd throw a horseshoe. Hope I don't see you in jail.

Gene Autry: Say, by the way, if you didn't plug Norton, how come he was killed with your gun?

Larry Evans: I ran out of dough and I put in my gun to stay in the game.

Gene Autry: Like this one?

Larry Evans: Yeah. I *had* a pair of 'em.

Gene Autry: You were out to make yourself a reputation, weren't you? You certainly did. It's too bad - that sort of dime-store hero went out with Billy the Kid.

[Gene lays his handkerchief on the ground]

Larry Evans: What are you doin'?

Gene Autry: Puttin' my ear to the ground. It's an old Indian scout trick. Silk picks up sound... Wagon comin'.

Gene Autry: Get out of those clothes!

Larry Evans: What?

Gene Autry: You heard me. Chuck the duds and get in the creek!

Larry Evans: In the creek? But it's ice water! You wanna give me pneumonia?

Gene Autry: Yeah, but you'll catch lead poisoning if they catch you in that gray check shirt, riding a palomino.

Sheriff Cramer: Gene, I'd like to borrow that pistol from you if you don't mind.

Gene Autry: Now look here, Sheriff...

Sheriff Cramer: It might go off accidental-like and hurt somebody.

Gene Autry: All right. Remember that's two you owe me.

Sheriff Cramer: I'm keepin' count.

Sheriff Cramer: Gene, I'll take...

[points to Gene's gunbelt]

Gene Autry: All right... I know.

Sheriff Cramer: The ladies say they're not comfortable to dance with.

Larry Evans: I'm givin' you a chance, Autry.

Gene Autry: Why you cheap imitation of a leather-slapper. I oughta turn you over to Cramer just to teach you a lesson.

Larry Evans: Draw or I'll plug ya.

Gene Autry: Give me that cap pistol before I use it to part your hair!

Gene Autry: Jim, somebody wants this ranch... wants it bad enough to commit murder. Now what could be here that would pay a man enough to risk his neck for it.

Jim Hedge: Nothin'.

Gene Autry: Hold on now, Jim...

Jim Hedge: I don't haveta. I been over this country hundreds of times.

Mary Evans: No gold?

Jim Hedge: Ohhh, maybe enough to fill your tooth.

Larry Evans: No silver?

Jim Hedge: Welll, might find enough to plate a watch.

Gene Autry: You sure there's nothing here?

Jim Hedge: Are you crazy in the head? I've been prospecting these parts ever since the Apaches were takin' potshots at everything that was movin'...

[chuckles]

Jim Hedge: That is, everything but coyotes. It's bad luck to shoot your own relatives.

Gene Autry: Jim, I want you to take Larry and keep him under cover until you hear from me.

Larry Evans: Oh, I couldn't ask Mr. Hedges to take a risk like that.

Jim Hedge: You didn't!

[points to Gene]

Jim Hedge: He did.

[Sheriff Cramer fires at the murderer who attempts to escape on Gene's horse]

Gene Autry: Hold it, Sheriff!

Sheriff Cramer: But he's got your horse!

Gene Autry: That's his hard luck.

[Gene whistles and Champion wheels and returns the killer to the posse]

Sheriff Cramer: What the sam hill is going on here?

Gene Autry: We were playing "post office".

Sheriff Cramer: But that's a kid's game.

Gene Autry: Not the way we play it.

Gene Autry: Say, you're not as dumb as you look!

Scat Russell: I couldn't be and live!

Smith: We're confronted with an unusual problem, Mr. Autry. While our population has almost doubled in population in the past five years our water supply has been steadily diminishing. The wells we've depended on would be inadequate under any circumstances, but now they're drying up. Mesa City must have additional water immediately, at any cost.

Gene Autry: Well, assuming that the ranchers accept your proposition, what about the Indians? They have rights, too.

Smith: Well, they'll be given other land, comparable in value up here.

[Smith indicates a spot on a map]

Gene Autry: Mr. Smith, I know that land in here pretty well. It wouldn't even make good brick.

Gene Autry: Look, Mr. Smith, you can't even built this aquaduct unless all the ranchers sell their water rights. They may not be willing to sell unless they think the Indians are going to get a square deal.

Smith: I see. And, ah, you're one of the ranchers, aren't you?

Gene Autry: That's right.

Smith: You sure you're not part Indian, too?

[first lines]

[en route to the train station, Frog's wagon breaks down]

Frog: Hey!

Gene Autry: That's a fine way to meet the new boss. Come on, snap into it! Get that wagon fixed!

Frog: Well, it took him two weeks to get here from England. It isn't going to hurt him to wait four or five minutes more.

Walt Bailey: Listen, son, if he starts riding the rails, empty the saddle like it was something hot.

Gene Autry: Yeah, no glory riding. It's better to pull up than to reach your shadow on the ground.

Gene Autry: You know, Joe, I had a horse once that piled into a fence. He healed all right but he never was any use to anybody. The boys said it broke his spirit and might as well shoot him.

Joe Bailey: Why didn't you?

Gene Autry: Well, that would have been a waste. I know he had good stuff and anybody might have thought he just got scared and quit. I've seen horses busted up ten times worse and still come out of it. All he needed was a little time and patience to give him confidence. He turned out to be the best cow pony I've ever had. Well, I've got to go to work. You know, Joe, I was just thinking: horses are a lot like people.

[the new owner has shipped dozens of equipment crates to the ranch]

Frog Millhouse: Well, I'll be hung for a horse thief. Soil testin' equipment. Encyclopedias. VTC and chemicals and poison. Well, who in blazes sent all this junk out here?

Gene Autry: That's easy, our lady boss. She's goin' to an agricultural college and takin' animal husbandry.

Frog Millhouse: Husbandry, huh? Well, it do beat all what a woman will do to get married.

[Frog reads a letter of instruction from the ranch's new owner]

Frog Millhouse: "While I'm not criticizing your management... " - she better not, you sent her more money than she ever got before... - "I feel confident that the application of modern sci-sci-sci... "

Gene Autry: "Scientific."

Frog Millhouse: Yeah. "... methods will make a marked difference in profits." Yeah, we'll probably be broke in a year.

Martha Wheeler: What were you going to say?

Gene Autry: I wasn't going to say anything.

[from the bushes]

Frog Millhouse: Aw, he was so.

[Frog throws Gene his guitar]

Frog Millhouse: He was going to sing you that song about moonlight on the ranchhouse.

Aunt Hattie: That was a fine audition you gave, Gene. All you need now is a sponsor.

Maurine McClune: All I need is that contract renewal so we can continue to hold the rodeo here.

Gene Autry: Well, the committee can't complain. We're doing all right so far.

Maurine McClune: We've simply got to make it a success.

Aunt Hattie: If we don't our next address will be care of Social Security.

Gene Autry: Aw, don't worry. The minute the committee signs the new contract we'll be sittin' on top of the world.

Aunt Hattie: Yeah, and if they give it to someone else, the world will be sittin' on top of us - bank creditors and all!

Col. Millhouse: Marvelous, Autry, marvelous! You certainly have that animal trained and I don't see how you do it. What's the secret?

Gene Autry: The secret in training a horse, Colonel, is that, ah, you have to know more than the horse!

Gene Autry: I'm glad to see you fellas. I'm Gene Autry.

William 'Brains' Barton: So what?

[Walker shows Gene and Frog their new executive offices]

Henry Walker: Well, boys, what do you think of it.

Gene Autry: I'd feel a lot more at home down in the stockyard.

Frog Milhouse: Well, me too. I-I don't like being cooped up. You're liable to get hydrophobia or something.

[Gene admires the sleek airplane he and Frog will soon board]

Gene Autry: Sure is pretty!

Frog Milhouse: Ain't as pretty as horse, and when you ride a horse you don't have as far to fall.

[Smiley tries to convince Gene that Ann's terrier is part wolf]

Gene Autry: A wolf? The sun must have shrunk him.

[Gene and Frog are falsely arrested for rustling]

Frog Milhouse: How long we in here?

Gene Autry: They said a day for every pound that cow weighed.

Frog Milhouse: I wished we'd caught a calf.

[Gene has just rescued a henchman from being run over by a train]

Henchman Martin: Thanks!

Gene Autry: Don't thank me. I want you alive!

Frog Millhouse: Can I borrow a buck? I'll pay it back out of your winnin's.

Gene Autry: What if I don't win?

Frog Millhouse: Well, you'll be broke anyhow.

Frog Millhouse: Say, can you tell where an old muskrat names Stanhope lives?

Patsy Stanhope: Just follow this road - go that way, this way, that way and that's it.

Frog Millhouse: That's it... You're a pretty smart girl. What's your name?

Patsy Stanhope: Stanhope.

Frog Millhouse: Well, we... With my luck I mighta known that.

Gene Autry: You have to excuse us, Miss. You see, we have a knack for getting' in wrong with Stanhope women.

[Gene's car stalls leaving the Stanhope plantation]

Gene Autry: See how we're fixed for gas.

Frog Millhouse: Plumb full - see. Hey, that don't smell like gasoline! That ain't gasoline - that's water!

Gene Autry: Water?

Frog Millhouse: Plain old H2O. We've been framed!

Caroline Stanhope: A fine way to treat our guests.

Patsy Stanhope: Well, I only wanted them to be guests a little longer.

Caroline Stanhope: I hope Barrelena's going to like it out there.

Gene Autry: I think you'd like it out there, too, Caroline.

Caroline Stanhope: Well, I think I'd better wait to hear from the horse.

Mrs. Carter: Which one of you is a good hand at bees? You know, I got some startin' to swarm and I gotta get them in the hive.

Gene Autry: There's your man.

[Points to Pecos Bates]

Gene Autry: That's all he did before he joined the Rangers.

Pecos Bates: Bees? I don't even know my A's!

Joyce Halloway: There ought to be a law against road hogs like you!

Gene Autry: Yeah, and there ought to be a law against women driving down the road at 100 miles an hour.

Joyce Halloway: Don't you dare tell me how fast I was going, I was only going 45.

Gene Autry: A hundred!

Joyce Halloway: Forty- five!

Gene Autry: A hundred!

Joyce Halloway: Forty-five!

Gene Autry: A hundred!

Patsy Halloway: You were doing eighty!

Gene Autry: Hooray! I finally won an arguement with a woman!

[although Gene has just the returned to ranch after serving in the Army Air Corps, he is surprised to see a single-engine plane flying over the stable]

Gene Autry: First time I've seen one of those things in a long time.

The Commodore: What have you been flying? Kites?

Gene Autry: I'd like permission to carry a gun.

Capt. Gonzales: A gun? Why?

Gene Autry: Because I'm joining in on this hunt and it might come in handy.

Capt. Gonzales: I can appreciate how you feel, seor, but take my advice and go back to your ranch.

Gene Autry: In other words, that's a polite way of sayin' no, isn't it?

Capt. Gonzales: (laughing) Yes. This is a matter for the police.

Gene Autry: I'm sorry, Captain. Gun or no gun, or whether you like it or not, I'm not leavin' this town until I find out who murdered my partner. Let's go, Pokie.

Gene Autry: If you guys could find stray calves as well as you can find pretty girls, you'd be the best cowpokes in this country.

Bass player Bert: You put a rose in their hair and we'd find them.

Gene Autry: Where's Dusty?

Guitar player Jerry: Over at the El Molino Verde cantina tryin' to put his brand on a little entertainer named Elena.

Gene Autry: Let's go see how he's gettin' along.

Accordion player: Nothin' doin'. We got a little brandin' job of our own to take care of.

Dusty Morgan: String wire? I'm sorry, Gene, but I'm workin' on something else.

Gene Autry: Blonde or redhead?

Dusty Morgan: See for yourself

[nods at the lovely Elena]

Gene Autry: Not bad. I'd like to meet her myself.

Dusty Morgan: So would I.

[first lines]

First Flower Girl: Welcome to the carnival, senor.

Gene Autry: Thanks. Viva Mexico!

Second Flower Girl: Viva United States!

Pokie: Yeah. Viva pretty girls!

[first lines]

[commenting on Frog's rickety wagon]

Gene Autry: Boy, you'll be lucky if this thing holds till Pueblo City.

Frog Millhouse: Well, don't worry about it. It came all the way from Texas didn't it? I ain't walked yet!

Gene Autry: I think we've met the head man.

Frog Milhouse: Who?

Gene Autry: Asa Lock.

Frog Milhouse: W-why Gene...

Gene Autry: Yeah, he's very smooth on the outside...

Frog Milhouse: Do you reckon he's one of them "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Lock?"