Gallaxhar Quotes in Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

Gallaxhar: Humans of Earth, I come in peace. You need not fear me, I mean you no harm. However, it is important to note that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. The few of you that do survive will be enslaved and experimented upon. You should, in no way, take any of this personally. It's just business. So to recap, I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.

[Susan wakes up on board Gallaxhar's spaceship in a containment cell]

Gallaxhar: [enters on a personal hovercraft] You must be terrified. Waking up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, imprisoned by a strange being floating on a strange hovering device. Strange, isn't it?

Susan Murphy: Hardly. It's not the first time.

Gallaxhar: [pause, deflated] Wow, you really get around.

Gallaxhar: Now I can finally rebuild my civilization. Any thought on where I can set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?

Susan Murphy: You keep your slimy tentacles off my planet...

Gallaxhar: [Grabs Susan with one of his tentacles] Or what? If you wanted to stop me, you should have done it when you possessed the quantonium. Now you're nothing.

Susan Murphy: There are innocent people down there who didn't do anything!

Gallaxhar: [Throws Susan down to the ground] Bah! There were innocent people in my home planet when it was destroyed.

Susan Murphy: Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed.

Gallaxhar: Oh, don't be. I was the one who destroyed it. Confused? After I reveal my tale to you, everything will become crystal clear. Computer, begin cloning machine!

Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.

[Gallaxhar gets on machine]

Computer: Many zentons ago, when I was just a squidling, I found out my parents had...

[Machine closes; after a moment, it opens again]

Gallaxhar: No child should have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant...

[Machine closes and opens again]

Gallaxhar: And soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until...

[Machine closes and opens again]

Gallaxhar: ...And I was all "no way!", and she was all "yes way!", and I was like...

[Machine closes and opens again]

Gallaxhar: But I've told you too much already! Let the conquest of my new planet, now know as... Gallaxhar's Planet, begin!

Gallaxhar: [after his plot to invade Earth has been completely foiled] Oh... Spaceballs!

Computer: Begin reanimation sequence.

Gallaxhar: Who dares to wake me?

Computer: Quantonium has been detected in the proximity of the Omega quadrant.

Gallaxhar: The Omega quandrant? Lame.

Computer: The trajectory of the quantonium meteor leads to a small planet in sector 72-4, a planet locally known as Earth.

Gallaxhar: What a miserable-looking mudball. Send a robot probe. Extract the quantonium with extreme prejudice. I want it all. Every last drop.

Computer: Yes, Gallaxhar.

Gallaxhar: Nothing can stand in my way now.

Susan Murphy: [Aims weapon at Gallaxhar] Now open the doors!

Gallaxhar: I can't even if I wanted to! That's what happens when you put the ship to self-destruct! Now we're all gonna die, and there's nothing you can do about it, Suuusan!

Susan Murphy: I wouldn't be too sure. And the name is Ginormica.

[fires weapon into radiation container, letting it fall on her]

Gallaxhar: Are you crazy? You could have killed me!

Susan Murphy: Then we understand each other. Now open the doors and let my friends go.

Gallaxhar: Or what? Did you really think you could take me?

Computer: Quantonium has been diverted to the bridge. Escape pod is now ready.

Gallaxhar: Like I said before, you should have stopped me when you possessed the quantonium. Have fun exploding!

Gallaxhar: To the extraction chamber!

Susan Murphy: Look, what is it you want from me?

Gallaxhar: You have stolen what is rightfully mine.

Susan Murphy: I didn't steal anything from you.

Gallaxhar: Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium, the most powerful substance in the universe. Did you really think you could keep it from me?

Susan Murphy: This is what this is all about? You destroyed San Francisco, you terrorized millions of people? You killed my friend just to get to me?

Gallaxhar: Ya-ka-ka-ka-ka! Silence! Your voice is grating in my earnubs. Too bad you won't be around to see what the power of quantonium can do in the tentacles of someone who knows how to use it.

Susan Murphy: I know how to use it, just fine!

[Punches at force field]

Gallaxhar: Don't bother. That forcefield is impenetra...

[Suddenly, Susan breaks through the force field and nearly knocks Gallaxhar off his hovercraft]

Gallaxhar: Oh! What the flagnar!

Computer: [Counting down to self-destruct] 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3...

Gallaxhar: Come on! Come on!

Computer: 2... 1.

[pause]

Computer: Hmm, nothing happened. Maybe my count was...

[Explosion]