Galahad Quotes in King Arthur (2004)

Galahad: Imagine what a lovely, quiet place the world would be if everyone had their throats slit.

Galahad: I don't like him - the Roman. If he's here to dispatch us, then why doesn't he just give us our papers?

Gawain: Is this your happy face? Galahad, do you still not know the Romans? They can't scratch their asses without holding a ceremony.

Tristan: Yeah, we're all going to die some day. If it's death from a Saxon hand that frightens you, stay home.

Galahad: If you're so eager to die you can die right now!

Galahad: I don't kill for pleasure.

Tristan: You should try it some day. You might get a taste for it.

Bors: It's in your blood boy.

Galahad: Oh no. No. After tomorrow, this was all just a bad memory.

Arthur: Knights... Brothers and arms... Your courage has been testet beyond all limits.

Bors: Yes

Arthur: But I must ask you now for one further trial.

Bors: Drink.

Arthur: We must leave on a final mission for Rome before our freedom can be granted. Above the wall, far north, there is a Roman family in need of rescue. They are trapped by Saxons. Our orders is to secure their safety.

Bors: Let the Romans take care of their own.

Gawain: Above the wall is Woad territory.

Galahad: Our duty to Rome, if it ever was a duty, is done. Our pact with Rome is done.

Bors: Every knight here has laid his life on the line for you. For you. And instead of freedom you want more blood? Our blood? You think more of Roman blood than you do of ours?

Arthur: Bors! These are our orders. We leave at first light, and when we return your freedom will be waiting for you. A freedom we can embrace with honour.

Bors: I'm a free man! I will choose my own fate!

Tristan: Yeah, yeah, we're all going to die someday. If it's a death from a Saxons hand that frightens you, stay home.

Galahad: Listen, if you're so eager to die, you can die right now! I've got something to live for!

Lancelot: Enough. Enough!

Dagonet: The Romans have broken their word. We have the word of Arthur. That is good enough. I'll prepare.

Bors: Well, now that we're free men, I'm gonna drink 'tll I can't piss straight.

Gawain: You do that every night.

Bors: I never could piss straight. Too much of myself to handle down there...

[looks at the Knights]

Bors: Well, it's a problem! No really, it is. It's a problem. It's like...

Bors, Gawain, Lancelot, Tristan, Galahad, Dagonet: ...a baby's arm holding an apple.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?

Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?

Sir Lancelot: Blue.

Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.

Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Sir Robin: That's easy.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?

Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?

[pause]

Sir Robin: I don't know that.

[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]

Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?

Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Galahad: I seek the Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?

Galahad: Blue. No, yel...

[he is also thrown over the edge]

Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.

Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?

King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.

[he is thrown over]

Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.

Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?

King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]

King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.

King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Arthur: Right. One... two... five!

Galahad: Three, sir.

King Arthur: Three!

Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.

Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer...