Gaetano Proclo Quotes in The Ritz (1976)

Gaetano Proclo: A person can catch Athlete's Foot in a place like this!

Duff: You're lucky if that's all you catch.

Gaetano Proclo: You're a good man, Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?

Abe Lefkowitz: Lefkowitz.

Gaetano Proclo: I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.

[Gaetano leaves]

Chris: You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.

Abe Lefkowitz: So, what happened?

Chris: Well look at me!

Gaetano Proclo: Listen, there's something I have to tell you...

Chris: You're not gay?

Gaetano Proclo: [relieved] No!

Chris: What, are you a social worker or something?

Gaetano Proclo: No, but I didn't know that everyone in here was...

Chris: GAY! See? It's not a bad word. You might try using it sometime.

Gaetano Proclo: You mean to tell me that everyone in here is gay?

Chris: God, I hope so. Otherwise I just paid ten dollars to walk around in a towel in front of a bunch of Shriners.

Gaetano Proclo: We used to have a guy like that back in the army. We called him "Get away from me Claude".

Gaetano Proclo: My, what unusual pants. They look like cowboy chaps.

Patron In Chaps: [fixing Gaetano with an intense stare and spoken in a rich, deep voice] They are cowboy chaps.

Gaetano Proclo: [nervously] That's what I was thinking. They look like cowboy chaps.

Patron With Cigar: Crisco.

Gaetano Proclo: What?

Patron With Cigar: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. Pass it on.

Gaetano Proclo: Pass what on?

Patron With Cigar: Bring Joey.

Gaetano Proclo: Who's Joey?

Patron With Cigar: You know Joey. Don't bring Chuck. You've got that?

Gaetano Proclo: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. I can bring Joey but not Chuck.

Patron With Cigar: Check.

Gaetano Proclo: What's the matter with Chuck?

[answer is whispered in his ear]

Gaetano Proclo: [absolutely horrified] Chuck is definitely out!

Patron With Cigar: [walking away] Hey, you won't be disappointed.

Gaetano Proclo: [disappointed] You're not Joe Namath!

Chris: It's the lighting.

Claude Perkins: [trying to seduce Gaetano] You'll never guess what I had for dinner tonight, so I'm just going to tell you.

Gaetano Proclo: I beg your pardon?

Claude Perkins: A nice ground-pork meatloaf with mozzarella, mashed potatoes covered with gobs of gravy, carrots floating in butter and chunks of avocado with roquefort dressing. Couldn't you just die?

Gaetano Proclo: [confused] I don't know what I could just.

Claude Perkins: And then for dessert German choclate cake with two scoops of mocha walnut ice cream.

Googie Gomez: Think of a tropical night. Think of a beetch.

Gaetano Proclo: What bitch?

Chris: As strange as it may seem, no one is going to attack you.

Gaetano Proclo: Someone already has!

Chris: Eh, beginner's luck.

Gaetano Proclo: I don't know what I'm doing!

Chris: Join the club! It's like some strange heterosexual Gypsy curse was put on this place.