Funeral Director Quotes in Cadillac Man (1990)

[first lines]

Funeral Director: [funeral procession of cars is halted and the engine of the hearse is smoking] I don't know what's wrong with it! I thought you guys were supposed to service this thing!

Hearse Driver: I don't know why he didn't service it.

Funeral Director: Yeah, yeah, "I don't know".

Funeral Director: Joe, from the beautiful words you've written, it's clear to me that Sasha wasn't just a great dog. She was a great friend.

[starts eulogy]

Funeral Director: "Sasha was loyal, she was compassionate, and she loved to shake."

Dirk Simpson: I need to see Victor Fox. It's an emergency.

Funeral Director: He's dead. He doesn't have emergencies.

Funeral Director: Who is she?

Dirk Simpson: Oh! That's my lawyer. Perry Mason.