Fulton Greenwall Quotes in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

Ace: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?

Fulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.

Ace: Corpus Kilochiroptera?

Fulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka.

[the Wachati chief and his son bow upon hearing the name]

Ace: Shikaka...

[they bow again]

Ace: Shikaka!

[they bow again]

Ace: Shikasha!

[they begin to bow, but stop]

Ace: Ohhh! Shishkebab.

[they almost bow]

Ace: Shawshank Redemption.

[they almost bow]

Ace: ShicaaaaGO!

[the chief bows]

Ace: You're outta there! Go on, I gotcha, you're out.

[the confused chief exits the hut]

Fulton Greenwall: Bumbawe Atuna... Bumbawe Atuna...

Ace: Hi there. Nice to see ya. Bumblebee tuna. Bumblebee tuna!

[quickly turns to face one of the natives]

Ace: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective! How are you this afternoon? Alrighty Then!

[turns to another]

Ace: Excuse me, your balls are showing.

[thumbs-up]

Ace: Bumblebee tuna.

Fulton Greenwall: My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.

Ashram Monk: No man here carries with him a label.

Fulton Greenwall: Oh yes, no names. How silly of me. Well, um, he's an American.

Ashram Monk: We are all children of the same life force.

Fulton Greenwall: Yes of course we are.

[thinks]

Fulton Greenwall: He bends over and speaks from his rear.

Ashram Monk: Oh him. Right this way...

Fulton Greenwall: We can pay you handsomely.

Ace: I am now a child of light. Your earthly money holds no appeal to me.

Fulton Greenwall: Twenty thousand dollars.

Ace: Re-he-he-eally? No. I cannot. For I am sorely needed... here, at the ashram.

Ashram Monk: If I may interject! We're short of space, and it's important for you to use your talents. Let me help you pack.

Ace: But I am yet to attain omnipresent supergalactic oneness.

Ashram Monk: No. Wait. THERE it is!

[smiles]

Ashram Monk: You've just attained it.

Ace: I have?

Ashram Monk: Yes! Just now! You are one! I can see it in your eyes. You're more one than anyone!

Ace: What about my medallion of spiritual accomplishment?

Ashram Monk: Take mine!

Ace: This took you eighty years to achieve!

Ashram Monk: That's okay. I don't like it anymore. Really.

Ace: In the light of this great personal sacrifice you've made, I have no choice... but to take the case.

Ashram Monk: Great! I'll go tell the others!

Ace: Master... break it to them gently.

Ace: [cut to Ace and Greenwall exiting the temple through the celebrating, drinking, and some stripped monks] I've never seen them like that before. Denial can be an ugly thing.

Ace: [smiling nervously] Well, everything here seems good! Big load off my mind, aw God. You can speculate all you want, but unless you check it out for yourself, you never know!

[face quickly turns serious]

Ace: We should head back now.

Fulton Greenwall: Don't you think you should investigate?

Ace: There's no reason to go in there. Ever. I sense it as a holy man.

Fulton Greenwall: But I thought you said...

Ace: It's DARK! I could fall into a precipice!

Ouda: [hands him a torch] Here! Take this

Ace: Spank you, Helpy Helperton.

Fulton Greenwall: They did not know about disease until the white man came.

[Ace sneezes]

[last lines]

Ace: [the Tiny Warrior shrieks in Wachutu] What did he just say?

Fulton Greenwall: I *think* he said, she's not a virgin.

Ace: [pause] They can *tell* that?

Fulton Greenwall: Well done, Ace! You must be very proud!

Ace: Pride is an abomination. One must forego the self to obtain total spiritual creaminess, and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation.

[Ace is going at top speed towards the parking lot]

Fulton Greenwall: Perhaps we should slow down just a teensy-weensy bit?

Ace: Nonsense, Poopy-Pants!

Ace: Mmm, this fruit paste is delicious. And the pottery is lovely.

Ouda: It's made from guano.

Ace: Guano! Why's that sounding so familiar?

[Ace starts licking the remains of the fruit paste from the bottom of the bowl]

Fulton Greenwall: Bat droppings.

[Ace drops the bowl, spitting the remains of the paste and wiping off his tongue]

Fulton Greenwall: Guano is their main raw material, they're using it to made a lot of things in the village.

Ace: Yummie!

Fulton Greenwall: Ace, the Wachutus are a blood-thirsty, savage tribe. If they catch you, they will show no mercy!

Ace: Worry not, my brother. For I will be as a fly on the wall - a grain of salt in the ocean. I will move amongst them like a transparent... *thing*.