Frog Millhouse Quotes in Western Jamboree (1938)

[first lines]

Ranch hand Slim: Sure hate to see this outfit bust up after all the years we've been together.

Gene Autry: Why do you say that?

Ranch hand Slim: Oh, anything can happen to us with a new owner coming in.

Gene Autry: Oh, I'll admit things have been unsettled since Old Man Marshall died, but I understand that Van Fleet is a pretty nice guy.

Frog Millhouse: What difference does it make who owns the place as long as I ear regular?

Frog Millhouse: I dreamed of steaks bigger and prettier than them once.

Tadpole: Was they good?

Frog Millhouse: I don't know. Just when I was about to eat them, I dreamed the dentist came in and pulled out all my teeth.

Roy Rogers: These men claim that I'm Billy the Kid and it ain't so.

[Points to Frog]

Roy Rogers: Right here's a man who knows me.

Henchman: Yeah, well who knows him?

[Frog points to Roy]

Frog Millhouse: Well he does.

Gene Autry: Now how do you expect to run all this junk without electricity?

Frog Millhouse: Well, we're gonna have electricity.

Gene Autry: Sure you will if lightning strikes you.

Hank: Well, if it isn't my old friend, Beau Brummell Millhouse. Where did you get that or-chid?

Frog Millhouse: That's a night-blooming cryptogram - far rarer than any orchid.

Hank: What's so rare about it?

Frog Millhouse: (The "orchid" squirts water all over Hank) Introducing my new sideline of tricks, jokes and novelties. Buy some?

Hank: You got any explosive cigars?

Frog Millhouse: Here it is. Lights like a perfecto, goes off like a torpedo and it's only two bits!

[Gene and Frog enter a bar pretending to be murderous outlaws]

Bartender: What'll it be, strangers?

Frog Millhouse: I'd like a glass of milk.

Gene Autry: [elbows Frog] Aw, he's always kidding. We'll drink whiskey straight and wash it down with lye.

[at the fiesta, Gene agrees to have his fortune told]

Fortune Teller: I see you do secret work for your country. You are what you call maybe - a federal agent.

Frog Millhouse: Hey, this dame knows too much. Lets get out of here!

Gene Autry: Oh, no. Go ahead.

Fortune Teller: But now I see you go on another job - a much bigger one.

Gene Autry: Right away?

Fortune Teller: Soon - very soon. But you like this job very much. I see you riding through the night. You are happy. I think you are in love, senor.

[first lines]

[Gene, Smiley and the gang arrive in a Mexican town during a fiesta]

Frog Millhouse: Gee, I betcha this celebration is for us!

Gene Autry: I hardly think so. Besides, we gotta report to the Consul.

Mary Ford: Congressman Fuller isn't going to run for re-election.

Gene Autry: Well, that won't break my heart.

Frog Millhouse: Who's going to run in his place?

Mary Ford: Gene!

Gene Autry: Say, did you land on your head?

Mary Ford: The evidence points to the other extremity.

Frog Millhouse: Roy, you're dead. And long as you stay dead you ain't gonna get killed!

Ruby Smith: Don't tell me you want to be an actor.

Frog Millhouse: No, ma'am, I promised my ma I'd lead an upright life.

Gene Autry aka Tex Smith: But I tell you, I'm Gene Autry!

Deputy Sheriff: And I'm Bing Crosby.

[singing]

Deputy Sheriff: Boo-boo-boo-boo!

Frog Millhouse: Boo-boo yourself.

[reading a wanted poster]

Prof. Ezekial Daniels: Five thousand dollar reward for the capture of Gene Autry, wanted dead or alive for the murder of Jefferson Lee.

Frog Millhouse: Jefferson Lee? Don't he own that ranch where we're goin'?

Gene Autry aka Tex Smith: yes and he was one of the best friends I ever had. Wolf Benson must have gone to the dude ranch masquerading as me and when Lee couldn't be fooled he killed him.

Prof. Ezekial Daniels: Well, the murderer has certainly placed you in an exceedingly dangerous position, Gene. You have to capture him before you can identify yourself.

Frog Millhouse: That's right! The star packers in this part of the country shoot first and talk later.

[the new owner has shipped dozens of equipment crates to the ranch]

Frog Millhouse: Well, I'll be hung for a horse thief. Soil testin' equipment. Encyclopedias. VTC and chemicals and poison. Well, who in blazes sent all this junk out here?

Gene Autry: That's easy, our lady boss. She's goin' to an agricultural college and takin' animal husbandry.

Frog Millhouse: Husbandry, huh? Well, it do beat all what a woman will do to get married.

[Frog reads a letter of instruction from the ranch's new owner]

Frog Millhouse: "While I'm not criticizing your management... " - she better not, you sent her more money than she ever got before... - "I feel confident that the application of modern sci-sci-sci... "

Gene Autry: "Scientific."

Frog Millhouse: Yeah. "... methods will make a marked difference in profits." Yeah, we'll probably be broke in a year.

[Frog tries to keep a bunch of cattlemen from breaking through his checkpoint]

Frog Millhouse: I'm warnin' you. If you take any cattle across this line, I'm going to blast you with this smokestick - and it ain't loaded with beans!

Martha Wheeler: What were you going to say?

Gene Autry: I wasn't going to say anything.

[from the bushes]

Frog Millhouse: Aw, he was so.

[Frog throws Gene his guitar]

Frog Millhouse: He was going to sing you that song about moonlight on the ranchhouse.

[Frog tries to attract an elephant's attention]

Frog Millhouse: I got a peanut for you!

'Professor' Wentworth: It's no use. She's hard of hearing.

Frog Millhouse: Ears like a barn door and she's hard of hearing?

[Smiley gets the drop on the Sheriff and his men and prevents them from interrupting a delicate operation]

Frog Millhouse: Whoa! Don't go any further. The doctor's doin' a little operatin' in there. Just throw your smokepots right over there.

[chased by an outlaw and out of bullets, Frog appeals to the audience for help]

Frog Millhouse: You gotta help me folks! You gotta! Now when he comes a little closer, I'll give the signal and everybody holler, "Bang!" real loud. Now do you understand? Don't forget! Ah-ah-ah! Not yet. Woo, this makes me nervous. Are you ready? All together now... Bang!

[the villain falls from the saddle as if shot]

Frog Millhouse: Thanks! We got him!

[last lines]

[Frog explains that the villain he "shot" was really after Sunset]

Frog Millhouse: Old Frog always gets his man. And you thought I wasn't tough enough.

Sunset Carson: You can go with me, Frog. You saved my life, didn't ya.

Frog Millhouse: Sure did!

Sunset Carson: Better pay that guy first. He did a good job.

Frog Millhouse: I already paid him ten dollars more... Uh-oh. Let's get out of here.

[first lines]

Texas Ranger Gene Autry: Well, boys, here's where Rufe and I leave you.

Frog Millhouse: Aren't you goin' to San Antone with us?

Texas Ranger Gene Autry: Nope. We're ridin' to Fort Adobe. I've been made a lieutenant in the United State cavalry.

Frog Millhouse: What did they make out of you, Rufe?

Rufe Jones: They made me plain sick to talkin' about Texas bein' better off without us rangers and givin' our jobs to the United States cavalry.

Frog Millhouse: Well, hey, wait a minute! We've been discharged from the rangers. Why can't we be cavalrymen?

Texas Ranger Gene Autry: Well, why not?

Little Wolf: Black horses beat white horses.

Rufe Jones: You'll full of loco weed, Indian.

Little Wolf: Little Wolf know.

Rufe Jones: You do, huh?

[Rufe pats Frog on the shoulder]

Rufe Jones: Bet his scalp against a pair of moccasins he beats the black horses.

Little Wolf: Me takem bet.

Frog Millhouse: Well, hey, what do I get out of this?

Rufe Jones: You get to keep your hair if you win.

Texas Ranger Gene Autry: Just saddle our horses and trot 'em by in front of the guard house.

Frog Millhouse: Horses?

Rufe Jones: Yeah, horses. You know, the things you fall off of.

Frog Millhouse: Can I borrow a buck? I'll pay it back out of your winnin's.

Gene Autry: What if I don't win?

Frog Millhouse: Well, you'll be broke anyhow.

Frog Millhouse: Say, can you tell where an old muskrat names Stanhope lives?

Patsy Stanhope: Just follow this road - go that way, this way, that way and that's it.

Frog Millhouse: That's it... You're a pretty smart girl. What's your name?

Patsy Stanhope: Stanhope.

Frog Millhouse: Well, we... With my luck I mighta known that.

Gene Autry: You have to excuse us, Miss. You see, we have a knack for getting' in wrong with Stanhope women.

[Gene's car stalls leaving the Stanhope plantation]

Gene Autry: See how we're fixed for gas.

Frog Millhouse: Plumb full - see. Hey, that don't smell like gasoline! That ain't gasoline - that's water!

Gene Autry: Water?

Frog Millhouse: Plain old H2O. We've been framed!

Caroline Stanhope: A fine way to treat our guests.

Patsy Stanhope: Well, I only wanted them to be guests a little longer.

[first lines]

[commenting on Frog's rickety wagon]

Gene Autry: Boy, you'll be lucky if this thing holds till Pueblo City.

Frog Millhouse: Well, don't worry about it. It came all the way from Texas didn't it? I ain't walked yet!

[last lines]

[Frog turns and speaks to the audience]

Frog Millhouse: You kids go home now. You been in here all day.