Frito Quotes in Idiocracy (2006)

Frito: I can't believe you like money too. We should hang out.

Rita: Can you take me there?

[Points at TV where "Monday Night Rehab" is showing]

Frito: [Lifts Rita to TV]

Rita: Not here, you fucking moron - there!

[Points at TV again]

Frito: [Acting as Joe's public defender] It says here you robbed a hospital. Why'd you do that?

Pvt. Joe Bowers: I'm not guilty!

Frito: That's not what the other lawyer said.

Frito: Go away! 'Batin'!

Pvt. Joe Bowers: I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine.

Frito: Oh, that's easy. You go down by the museum and stuff... It's like- it's, like, by the museum... Sorta by... Actually, not really. More like on the street, you go, um... Wait, let me start over. Okay, you know where the time machine is?

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, y'know?

Frito: I don't really think we have time for a handjob, Joe.

[repeated line]

Frito: I like money.

Frito: Yah I know this place pretty good, I went to law school here.

Pvt. Joe Bowers: In Costco?

Frito: Yah I couldn't believe it myself, luckily my dad was an alumnus and pulled some strings.

Frito: I'm going to mistrial my foot up your ass if you don't shut up!