Fred Randall Quotes in RocketMan (1997)


Fred Randall Quotes:

  • William Overbeck: How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars.

    Fred Randall: Well sorry Mr. First to Show Inappropriate Anger on Mars.

  • Fred Randall: Hey, Commander, were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? When I was little I used to think there was a baker under my bed.

    William Overbeck: No.

    Fred Randall: You ever look?

    William Overbeck: No.

    Fred Randall: Then how do you know there wasn't a baker under your bed?

  • Fred Randall: I'm 30 years old. I'm almost a grown man.

  • Fred Randall: We're the first to stand on Mars!

    William Overbeck: Yeah. Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets.

  • Fred Randall: It reminds me of a French Canadian tennis racket, stuck to the back of a Venus snow-goon, bubbling out of my sister's Brazilian donkey - I don't think I can make myself any clearer!

  • [Repeated line]

    Fred Randall: It wasn't me!

  • Fred Randall: It wasn't me!

    William Overbeck: What do you mean "It wasn't you"? We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!

    Fred Randall: Maybe it was Julie.

    William Overbeck: You dog!

    Fred Randall: Hey! Miracles can happen.

    William Overbeck: Blaming this on Julie!

    Fred Randall: Okay. I admit. It was me.

    William Overbeck: Thank you.

    [Fred farts again]

    Fred Randall: Now, THAT was Julie!

  • William Overbeck: Have fun, kid.

    Fred Randall: Fun is my Chinese neighbor's middle name!

  • Fred Randall: I feel like a paleontologist that's been hunting dinosaurs his whole life and finally got to meet one!

  • Fred Randall: [to the Chimp] Alright, I'm going out. If you light the place on fire the number's 9-1-1, thank you.

  • Fred Randall: They say that when a mother's child is trapped the rush of her adrenaline gives her the strength of 20 men. Alright Commander call me Mommy!

  • Fred Randall: Who am I?

    William Overbeck: Mommy.

    Fred Randall: Say it like you love me.

  • Fred Randall: It's a tale as old as time Ulysses. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl. Girl goes into hypersleep.

  • Fred Randall: Je suis le papillon sur la table avec le Chanel No. 5 regardons.

  • [Fred is typing on the computer to find out how long he's been asleep]

    Fred Randall: [while typing] Query: How long have I been asleep?

    [the screen reads "RESPONSE: THIRTEEN MINUTES"]

    Fred Randall: Thirteen minutes?

  • Fred Randall: A glitch? No, that's not possible. I programmed it myself.

  • Fred Randall: Sweet swirling onion rings!

  • Fred Randall: I have to go tinkle!

  • Julie Ford: I guess I'll see you in eight months.

    Fred Randall: Boy. I wish I had nine hundred twenty-eight dollars for every time a girl said that to me!

  • Bud Nesbitt: Look, it was an accident.

    Fred Randall: Oh, sure, sure it was. Just like the captain of the Exxon Valdez didn't see Alaska floating there right in front of him!

  • Fred Randall: I'll enter the same calculations using what we like to call The Right Way.

  • Fred Randall: Mr. Wick, can I call you Paul?

    Paul Wick: No.

    Fred Randall: Are we there yet?

    Paul Wick: No.

    Fred Randall: Can I drive?

    Paul Wick: No.

    Fred Randall: Can I park it?

  • William Overbeck: Well it's a very special drink. It's just for us astronauts.

    Fred Randall: Oh! Like Tang?

  • Bud Nesbitt: How about just saying, "Thanks for the cool coin, Bud. It really means a lot to me."

    Fred Randall: Oh, yeah. Thanks for the cool coin, Bud. It really- what was the rest?

  • Fred Randall: Commander, can I call you Bill?

    William Overbeck: No.

    Fred Randall: Are we there yet?

    William Overbeck: No.

    Fred Randall: Can I drive?

    William Overbeck: No!

    Fred Randall: I'm hungry!

  • Fred Randall: Hey! There's no airbag. What if I go flying through the windshield?

    William Overbeck: Randall, there is no windshield.

    Fred Randall: Oh. Well, what if I go flying through the front of my helmet?

    William Overbeck: I'd die happy.

  • Fred Randall: Mom, going to Mars shouldn't be referred to running away.

    Mrs. Randall: Last time you ran away it was only to the garage.

  • Fred Randall: No eating puzzles in the house and surely we don't jump on the beds!

  • [Randall is laying on the floor with socks on his hands when the technicians come to get him out]

    Fred Randall: Can you leave me alone for just five more minutes? I just got into the third act.

    [with an English voice and moving sock puppet]

    Fred Randall: Yes! Close the door! It's bloody chilly in here!

  • Fred Randall: JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT! His name is my name too!


    Fred Randall: whenever we go out, the people always shout,

    [screaming again]


  • Fred Randall: How many times have I told you not to go wandering in a martian dust storm?

  • Fred Randall: What? You ignore me the whole trip, and now that I have no air you want to chat?

  • Fred Randall: You're alive Little Billy!

    William Overbeck: Don't you ever call me little Billy!

    Fred Randall: That's no way to talk to your mother!

Browse more character quotes from RocketMan (1997)