Franklin Quotes in The Watch (2012)

Jamarcus: I have this one scenario in my mind. I kinda hope it plays out like this: young, sexy, Asian housewife, alone at night, frightened. A noise out by the trash cans. Best call the neighbourhood watch. I show up, look heroic, and then... get this - she sucks my balls.

Franklin: I'm also interested in that happening to me.

Evan: [Looking at green gunge] Wait a second. I've seen this stuff before.

Franklin: Had you just won a Nickelodeon Kid's choice award?

Franklin: Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level.

Jamarcus: Can I just say, Bob, that these are the shits?

Franklin: Just "the shit."

Jamarcus: These are just shit.

Franklin: Lock and load, bitches! Anything from outer space, kill it!

Bob: What the fuck is he doing here?

Evan: It's ok he saved us!

Franklin: Ya he came in here jackin' dicks left and right.

Franklin: [revealing his gun collection] Welcome to candyshop, motherfuckers!

Franklin: Listen to my words, and hear his face!

Franklin: Fuckin' alien came on my face.

Graham: No... Eve doesn't see the world like that, good guys and bad guys

Franklin: Yeah well maybe she's been stabbed in the fucking head with a knife... and now she does!

Franklin: Don't you think maybe... just maybe she's going after the bad guys for a change... technically

Franklin: I've never made a bed in my life. Do I have directions? By the way, it's a little chilly in here. Where's the thermostat?

Charlie Brown: Hey! We're supposed to be roughing it. There's no thermostat in a tent!

Franklin: What's 0500? Noon time?

Charlie Brown: Nope, it's 5 in the morning.

Franklin: 5 in the morning? I don't get up at 5 in the morning! Maybe I should resign.

Aunt Lucy: Why don't you come over tomorrow and we can out together?

Franklin: Is *she* going to be there?

Aunt Lucy: Sam? I imagine so. But I promise, she won't bite. We turtles don't have teeth, you know.

[chuckles]

Mrs. Turtle: I can't believe all the flies in this cereal.

Franklin: I don't think there's enough.

Bear: We're going on a treasure hunt.

Samantha: [yawns loudly]

Aunt Lucy: [speaking in a pirate brogue] Not one to join us, Missy? You'll walk the plank if you don't.

Samantha: Guess I'll take my chances with the sharks.

Franklin: So what do you want to do?

Samantha: Not play some dumb kids game.

Samantha: You might get your chance to be a hero.

Franklin: I don't want to be a hero. I just want my Granny to get better.

Franklin: I sure wish we could dance, Granny.

Granny Turtle: Just you watch, Franklin. I'll be up and cutting a rug in no time.

Samantha: Until then, may I have this dance, sir?

[last lines]

Samantha: Granny's map? But I couldn't.

Franklin: It's okay. Aunt Lucy said I could give it to you. You know, to remember your summer by.

Samantha: I won't ever forget this summer.

[gives him a small smooch]

Bear: Ahem.

Aunt Lucy: Well, what do you know? Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

Franklin: Valentine's day was a massacre in Chicago where lots of people were killed and they put a curse on the Chicago cubs.

Franklin: Boy you're touchy.

Travis: He's got hemorrhoids, Franklin.

Franklin: You got 'roids?

Daniel: What are you doing?

Franklin: Driving into the back of a truck, Dan, you ever watch the A-Team?

Franklin: We could use a nut like you down at the carnival. Ever bite the head off a chicken?

Mr. Hammerman: Not lately.

Franklin: Where are your donuts?

Todd: Sir, we're a gourmet market.

Franklin: Okay, where are your gourmet donuts?

Franklin: We've got a ferris wheel, tilt-a-whirl, bumper cars.

Bucky: I like bumper cars.

Franklin: Actually it's bumper *car*, the bank repossessed the rest of them.

Daniel: [about the ferris wheel] I'm not getting on that death trap.

Franklin: Oh we won that law suit.

Daniel: Huh?

Franklin: Okay we tied, but it's still safe. Come on, I'll show you how to operate it. It's so easy a trained monkey could do it and it did until that uproar with the Humane Society.

Franklin: [noticing a woman getting her lips waxed] That's amazing. I'd never have to shave Mom's hump again. Um, that is, she's got a hump on the back of her neck.

Franklin: [a jelly filled danish got rubbed on his shirt] Great! Raspberry glaze!

Old Lady: Soak it in cold water.

Franklin: Thank you very much, ma'am, and by the way, someone your age should be a little more careful with a hand gun.

Old Lady: Bite me.

Mrs. Lazzlo: Listen, cutie pie when they reposess the truck, you won't have to leave them any gas.

Franklin: Right, you're the expert on gas, Mom.

Franklin: Uh oh. I dropped my wallet. I can't drive without a driver's license, you'll have to switch with me.

Daniel: I don't think that rule applies when committing a felony.

Franklin: Oh, right.

Franklin: Listen, Dan, I'm not a perfect person. I see a buck on the ground, I pick it up. Sometimes I take more than 10 items right through the express lane, and I have a temper, like my neighbor plays his music too loud. So I killed him, I cut him up and I put him in my freezer. I'm just kidding! Just breaking the tension!

Lt. Serdman: I'd say you picked the wrong store to rob this time, pal.

Franklin: Excuse me, Lieutenant but I am not robbing this store.

Lt. Serdman: Yeah right, I suppose that's a bag of donuts you got there right?

Franklin: They don't even serve donuts here, you should know that, you're a cop.

[They are listening to a heavy metal song]

Franklin: Great tape. This yours?

Daniel: Oh yeah, I got everything by the Screaming Idiots.

Franklin: This is the Ramones, actually, I haven't heard the Idiots yet, maybe you can turn me on to them.

Circus Performer: We've come to give you back our pay checks.

Franklin: Aw you didn't have to do that.

Circus Performer: Sure we did. They bounced. Listen, Franklin, you've been very good to us, but we've gotten an offer from Wingling Brothers.

Franklin: *THE* Ringling Brothers?

Circus Performer: No, *WINGLING* Brothers!

[location: in their van which is inside a refrigeration truck]

Andrew: It's freezing.

Franklin: Huddle together if you're cold, I'll turn on the heat.

Daniel: That's brilliant. See in order to get heat you have to turn on the engine, thereby trapping the fumes and rendering us all dead by asphixiation.

Franklin: In that case forget the heat. Hey who farted? Did you cut the cheese, Dan?

Daniel: For God's sake, no I did not.

Franklin: How about you, Kayla?

Kayla: Girls don't fart.

Franklin: Really? Come over to my house sometime and ask my mom why all our cats committed suicide.

Franklin: Hey there, Dan, you're late.

Daniel: Well I didn't take our usual shortcut through the mall.

Franklin: [on his way to the bank, contemplating his robbery plan] This will go smooth. Unless they shoot me, which they won't because I'm gonna draw first. Of course they could push that button under the counter, but I know it's gonna be fine.

[Parks and approaches bank. The doors are locked and standing inside is a guard]

Franklin: Oh hey, buddy, I need you to open a safe for me. I mean an account, a safe account. But I see you're not open right now so I'll go grab a cup of coffee and come back later.

[Daniel races for the phone. Franklin stops him]

Franklin: No calls! That is, no obscene calls. He's trying to quit.

Daniel: I am not.

Franklin: Well you should! What's your phone number?

Daniel: 9-1-1.

Franklin: Very funny. Do realize if I get arrested you won't make your meeting because you'll be filling out police reports until next October.

Franklin: Hey, Kev. Listen buddy, it's easy to misunderstand something when you hear it out of context.

Kevin: Why would I not understand the context? I am the context.

Franklin: Kev, Mom had something that she wanted to tell you.

Eva: [Eva looks appalled and despite her efforts she finds that this time, she is unable to fake any sort of love towards Kevin] I wanted to... thank you for calling the ambulance.

Franklin: ...And?

Eva: And I was concerned... that you might be feeling... RESPONSIBLE.

Kevin: Why is that?

Eva: [on the verge of snapping] Because you were SUPPOSED to be looking after her!

Franklin: We just don't want you to blame yourself.

Kevin: No. I don't... I mean I... I never said I did.

Eva: ...She's going to need a GLASS EYE, Kevin.

Mickey Wright: There we are, me and Miss Ohio, about a mile high, looking down on all these incredible lights, full moon above us, a crowd of people below.

Sanchez: Yeah, keep goin'...

Mickey Wright: She looks into my eyes and there's this really heavy vibe going on. Next thing I know the sash comes off, she's unzipping her dress, and her hands are all over me - I mean like *all* over.

Burns: That's my boy!

Franklin: I've been on the Ferris wheel back home a thousand times. How come nothing like that ever happened to me?

Mickey Wright: Oh, sure it did. It was your *own* hands all over you.

Franklin: [Sarcastically] HE HE HE! Come on Franklin! It's gonna be a fun trip! HE! If I have anymore fun today, I don't think I'm gonna be able to take it!

Franklin: [refering to the Hitchhiker] I think we just picked up Dracula.

Franklin: Hey man, you ever go in that slaughter room or whatever they call it? The place where they shoot cattle in the head with that big air gun?

Hitchhiker: Oh, that gun's no good.

Franklin: I was in there once with my uncle.

Hitchhiker: The old way... with a sledge! You see, that way's better. They die better that way.

Franklin: Well, how come? I thought the gun was better.

Hitchhiker: Oh, no. With the new way... people were put out of jobs.

Franklin: Did you do that?

Hitchhiker: [digs through pouch for a few pictures] Look!

[hands them to Franklin]

Hitchhiker: I was the killer!

Franklin: [looking at the pictures] Damn...

Jerry: Hi, Mister. Would you fill 'er up, please?

Old Man: I got no gas.

Franklin: What? You're all out of gas?

Old Man: My tank's empty! Transport woun't be here until late this afteroon. Mayby not even 'til tomorrow morning.

Franklin: Hey, do you know where the old Franklin place is?

Old Man: The old Franklin place?

Franklin: Yeah, it's an old two-story rock house that sitting up on a hill. I thought it might be back on that road someplace, but I'm not really sure.

Old Man: Uh... yeah, maybe I've seen something like that up that way. Well now look, you boys don't want to go messin' around some old house. Those things is dangerous. You're liable to get hurt.

Kirk: We'll be careful.

Old Man: No, seriously. You don't want to go fooling around other folks' property. If some folks don't like it... they don't mind showing you.

Franklin: If I have any more fun today I don't think I can take it!

Kirk: So, where you heading, man?

Hitchhiker: South.

Franklin: You work at that place? The slaughter house?

Hitchhiker: Uh... no.

Sally: How'd you get stuck way out here?

Hitchhiker: I was at the slaughter house.

Franklin: I got an uncle who works in a slaughter house.

Hitchhiker: I used to work there. My brother did too. My grandfather too. My family's always been in meat!

Franklin: [quietly to Sally] A whole family of Draculas!

Franklin: They just shoot a bolt in their head, and then retract it. It's just BOOM-shht-BOOM-shht.

Sally: Franklin, I like meat. Please change the subject!

Franklin: JEEEEEEEEEEEEERRYYYYYYYYYY!

Franklin: [referring to the hitchhiker] You don't think that guy tried to follow us, do you? Well, I mean there's no way that he could follow us. He's probably afraid Kirk will kill him.

[first lines]

Melanie: Have we decided what we're going to do yet?

Dominik: Not yet. Who knows, maybe the fresh air will help.

Franklin: This is a vacation, right?

Dominik: More or less. Actually, it's a moral support weekend.