Frank Dooley Quotes in Armed and Dangerous (1986)

The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before.

Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... up close! It's only legal in two states. And this isn't one of them.

The Cowboy: You're somthin' else, Slim.

Frank Dooley: Ooh, they're going to feel that in the morning.

Frank Dooley: [panting] Listen... I'm only gonna say this once. I'm a special officer. You have to get me to the corner of 83rd and Aviation in 10 minutes... otherwise, two wonderful people that I know are gonna die.

The Cowboy: Well, climb on in here, Slim.

Frank Dooley: [enters the truck's cab] Whew! Thank you.

The Cowboy: Well, let's just see how fast this son-of-a-bitch'll go!

[the psycho Cowboy truck driver starts up the tanker truck and suddenly begins slaming into all the parked cars in the traffic jam!]

The Cowboy: Hold on tight to your saddle horn, son!

Bruno: Pay attention fat boy! It's canine control. You got it?

Frank Dooley: Daaahhh, I think so.

Bruno: Don't be a smart ass Dooley!

[Frank and Norman exit the porno bookstore disguised as a transvestite and leather man respectively when they run into the bad cops looking for them; Frank and Norman freeze]

Sergeant Rizzo: What are you looking at you schmucks?

[Frank and Norman sigh with relief that Rizzo does not recognize them and quickly get into their characters]

Frank Dooley: [mimicking 'Divine'] Oh, isn't he cute? And look that these muscles.

Sergeant Rizzo: Take your hands off me! I'm a police officer.

Norman Kane: [falsetto voice] Oh, don't mine him. He gets so frisky every time he sees a badge.

Frank Dooley: What are you doing later on tonight?

Sergeant Rizzo: Take a walk you jerks!

Norman Kane: [to Frank] Come on, let's trot.

Frank Dooley: Why can't you look this good?

Norman Kane: Mother Nature wasn't kind to some of us.

Sergeant Rizzo: [shoves Frank and Norman] Move it!

Frank Dooley: Ooo, he touched me! I got my Christmas goose early!